How did you first hear about and/or find your way to this site?

[兎の耳]

Looking for info on sodium nitrite. Initially came across the peaceful pill forums but they gatekeep pretty heavily, so I'm happy to have found this place.

 

[Sad Avocado]

It was a really bad day, and I was having a mental breakdown, I was crying and searching for methods and here I am

 

[Ambivalent1]

A little Birdy told me

 

[Arya Quinn]

Searching for community and stumbled across this place through Google.

 

[skeletontree]

Searched for specifics concerning different methods, and found it right away through google.

 

[sadpeach]

Tantacrul's video funnily enough. Not having the toxic positivity here is so nice, considering I'm sure we all have to deal with it in every other means of communication. Kind of a breath of fresh air.

 

[rougarou]

i used to be a member of ASH, and i thought i had moved on from that point in my life, but things in my life and society have been driving me back to where i was then.

 

[natthebrat]

Pretty simple, I googled "pro suicide forum" and found an article about/criticizing a forum which the author did not mention by name (so presumably this one). Then I did a DuckDuckGo search of the same term, thinking it might come up there since the results are less filtered, and thankfully it did.

 

[Takamagahara]

I was an old lurker and occasional poster on the subreddit. I was surfing Reddit for suicide topics and discovered someone talking about the Tantacrul video. As soon as he said "SS" I knew it was alive, so all I had to google was "sanctioned suicide" and this came up.

Good to be back home.

 

[Ivan Dunaev]

Please select up to two choices.

[This is posted with permission from a moderator to be a pinned post.]

I had written a post in a Russian group about suicide. I said that I want to find some English groups about suicide, and one kind guy told me about this site. So I'm here to find some understandable friends and improve my English for my dream. I want to get over the terrible poverty which I'm living in now, so I need to know English.

 

[Leagueofgentlemen]

Does the line through people's username mean they've died?

 

[Heartaches]

Genuinely curious, what's kiwifarms?

Scared to look it up based on the recommendation to stay away...

Sorry for taking long to reply. Kiwifarms is (or was? idk) a forum to "document and watch" over internet figures called "lolcows", which refers to someone who constantly and unintentionally provides "funny, cringe or discussion-worthy" material to the users who follow their antics. It was originally a forum solely dedicated to CWC but it later devolved to a place to document these people and their shenanigans in general.

Not to derail the thread too much, but the problem was that they often targeted and denigrated marginalized communities just cause. It didn't matter what someone actually did or the gravity of it, they would simply use it as an excuse to be racist, homophobic, transphobic, ableist, among many other things. Not to mention the fact they would dox anyone, just cause.

The website is no longer up on the surface web (as far as I know) due to many controversies surrounding it; it's probably still kicking somewhere on the deep web, but I don't genuinely care and it's not worth anyone's time, in my opinion.​

 

[Chara]

Sorry for taking long to reply. Kiwifarms is (or was? idk) a forum to "document and watch" over internet figures called "lolcows", which refers to someone who constantly and unintentionally provides "funny, cringe or discussion-worthy" material to the users who follow their antics. It was originally a forum solely dedicated to CWC but it later devolved to a place to document these people and their shenanigans in general.

Not to derail the thread too much, but the problem was that they often targeted and denigrated marginalized communities just cause. It didn't matter what someone actually did or the gravity of it, they would simply use it as an excuse to be racist, homophobic, transphobic, ableist, among many other things. Not to mention the fact they would dox anyone, just cause.

The website is no longer up on the surface web (as far as I know) due to many controversies surrounding it; it's probably still kicking somewhere on the deep web, but I don't genuinely care and it's not worth anyone's time, in my opinion.​

That's not good

 

[Hodius]

Tantacrul's video I believe

 

[trashprincess]

Saw a video of someone criticizing this place and thought it might be worth checking out

 

[LunarCharm]

a discord server we are in had a few members who were members of the site, they recommended it to us

 

[PETER51]

en internetcosas sobre suicidio vi un artículo de una madre que se suicidó su hija y echaba la culpa a 3ste tipo de foros.

 

[pidgey]

Searching for methods. I think I was googling about inert gas method.

 

[mimithemimic]

Tantacrul's video. Funny that it was meant to help the effort to stop this site yet me and many others seem to have joined because of him. Hopefully through this ill find a way to leave that suits my needs.

 

[AlwaysTh1nk1ng]

Came across this looking for solutions when I was at a super bad time. Ended up forgetting the name of this site and gave up looking for it UNTIL I saw that YouTube video and said "oh nice" lmaoooo

 

[mah22022]

Couldn't really find a better site than this one tbh.

 

[squareminus1]

Tantacul's Youtube video led me to this site .

I find it very silly that he made that video in attempts to discourage people from being around this website but it has lead at least 55 (from likes here) people to the site that maybe otherwise wouldn't have came. I have a strange relationship with suicidal thoughts, like I have a lot going for me objectively but have always truely hated myself, so most days even if "good" stuff happens i just feel a little bit more like I don't belong. But i would have never had any idea about how to CBT had it not been for his video leading me here. Now I know when I sink deeper I'll have somewhere to come. I already know more about methods... needless to say his video kinda went over myhead and done the oppositw of what it should have.

 

[LonelyKitten]

I searched for methods and this site's result was the one of the few times in recent years I found a site that was completely blunt and unfiltered about suicidal matters - a real throwback to my younger years on the internet.
Looks intriguing, I thought.
Nowadays, it seems as if everything online is so much more cleansed up than just a decade ago, filled with nothing but toxic positivity and the like.

 

[my endless blue]

I found out about the site through a video by a Brazilian youtuber called Stackz.
He doesn't say the name directly, but I found it easily in the comments.

 

[time.to.move]

I've been here before, years ago, but just for a while, as my suicidal thoughts diminished. But fortunately, in despair and looking the best ways and communities, yearning for someone to talk to and/or be a part of something of my kind, I found my way back here through Tantacrul's video. Watched it for couple minutes and bounced straight to websearch to find this again for my dark-ass foggy space, which is supposed to call "life".
I quess I would have say thanks to Tantacrul for leading me back, but I refuse to do so, as the person painted very storyliney mark of this site in their video.

 

[loverula]

was trying to find information about inert gas asphyxiation, and someone in a quora forum suggested to go here for more information.

 

[EndOfTheLine84]

Googling words like suicide social network. Wanted to find someone to talk to.

See, exactly, but the way the media portrays it, they get family members of "victims" (I am sure they were victims of life/abuse, likely from the very family member who is crying that they are angry and want the site shut down, as I am sure that's how my mother would act even though she abused me, total NPD cannibal bitch she is), but the media just wants to push the same narrative, "oh shut the site down", "they killed my kids", "teaching my kids to die", "oh, will somebody think of the children" (seriously though children/adolescents really should wait until they are adults and thus can make an informed decision on any matter let alone the decision to end one's life, as perspective as a child is not quite all developed yet, you will find out when you get older, also best idea to really think about major decisions before you take action, for any major decision, also bullies are just insecure themselves, they are pushing others down to show seperiority, but that actually displays weakness deep within, just don't let it get to you, or try to brush it off, or try tactics such as asking how they are to be nice to them ignoring the insult, or asking why don't they just talk to you normally, like a normal person, if they want to talk you are happy to talk, without appearing that it is bothering you, which is rising above it and makes you appear cool, calm and more mature than the bully).

But, the fact is that this is just the same rubbish you can read in the old 2011 Bitcoin articles, "oh it's used for drugs on the dark web", "used by criminals", "used for money laundering", "hacked again and lost all his Bitcoin", but not much in the way of positivity, so not a balanced article really from most publications, but a few yes, but most no, and for the topic of suicide, they are all against it, but then..... could they really be for it? I would never encourage someone to end their life, as for one, only they can truly understand their own circumstances, it is tricky, but this website is freedom of speech at the end of the day, and that is a right we should protect.

But yes, talking openly about suicidal thoughts I find it good, and if you take the time to weigh it up, even journal a pros and cons list, and explore other possibilities, waiting to see if it gets better and such, then yes, talking about it allows the mind to explore the idea, and also brings how final it is into perspective, rather than treating it like it's a topic that can't be spoken about or it's not right to do or it's prohibited, which as we know banning things or saying to someone you can't do/have something/option, that really does well at.... oh, no that's right, it if anything encourages people to want it more if anything in a defiant manner, even if one is not aware they are rebelling against being told no, being told what's good for them or not good for them, I especially hate that, even though I am nearly 40 years old, but teenagers, my goodness all teenagers hate being told no they can't have something, alcohol prohibition worked wonders in the USA, and drugs won the war on drugs as Vice news said lol.

I applaud this website, it is a bastion of freedom of speech in the face of the attempts of those who wish to crush it.
Sometimes people just want to talk, in the USA that is covered under the First Amendment I believe it is.

 

[vcregs]

I used to lurk on the subreddit of the same name before it was shut down.

Before then, I used to belong to a Yahoo group about methods that went away, I think, when Yahoo groups was discontinued. I don't remember name of the group but it was pretty active and had existed for many years with an extensive archive of posts and discussions.

That was where I learned about online suppliers and gathered the info to purchase a method. Now I've had it for 9 years (once in a while a worry that I've lost it and scramble to locate it) and don't have a strong urge to ctb, too tired to do much and just existing day to day.

I just discovered the partners mega thread yesterday and honestly am very surprised to see it exists here. I read about the existence of something like that in countless media articles but never expected to come across it out in the open. On the Yahoo groups I used to browse, asking for partners was forbidden (I think?). I'm not sure how I feel about it, I think it would be very hard for me to trust a stranger.

On one occasion when I made a post, a "Good Samaritan" emailed my sibling (in a different continent) warning them of my intentions. It was terrifying. I think it's because my Yahoo account was tied to a gmail address and contacts. Talk about feeling like a heart attack is coming on…

 

[bruin20]

I had been searching for methods, and I came across some article of this lady who's son had CTB using SN and then I think on the ladys Twitter, she mentioned this site

 

[Doz]

Last night I watched Tantacul's video and found out through his poor attempt at hiding the sites identity. Not to mention he literally showed posts in his video that were almost word for word to the original posts which easily let me find it through a simple google search. Despite the amount of times I've searched for ctb methods, I never once crossed this place.