sserafim

sserafim

brighter than the sun, that’s just me
Sep 13, 2023
9,013
You can't get his attention again, short of taking all your clothes off in front of him, and even then you would only have his attention short term. Obviously, his feelings for you are not the same as your feelings for him.

If is was possible to spend your life with your crush when his feelings for you are much less than yours for him, I would be together now with someone I met at school, not the man I met when I was 30 and who is now my husband. (Knowing what I know now about life, I'm far better off with my husband than I would have been with my crush, but that's another matter.)

The way to move on from your crush is to get out into the world and meet someone else.
I feel like he was my soulmate though. We just clicked and I had a lot of fun talking to him. I don't want to move on from him. He's the only guy that I want to be in a relationship with. I don't care about anyone else
 
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Linda

Linda

Member
Jul 30, 2020
1,685
What if my crush is my soulmate? I think that he is

Okay. Let me search for someone that looks like him. I don't want to post his pictures to protect his privacy. I'll give you a description first though.

White (European)
Tall, dark and handsome
10/10
Brown hair, green/blue eyes
Vibe: cool, mysterious, edgy, a bit rebellious

Anyways, he's super hot and I heard that attractive and successful white guys usually go for white girls, not Asians, so I think that I unfortunately have no chance 😢
Looks fade. Personality doesn't. Pay more attention to personality.
 
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sserafim

sserafim

brighter than the sun, that’s just me
Sep 13, 2023
9,013
Looks fade. Personality doesn't. Pay more attention to personality.
His personality and mine were compatible. We had similar interests and he was cool, fun and interesting to talk to. We talked on Instagram about politics and philosophy and that kind of stuff
 
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Linda

Linda

Member
Jul 30, 2020
1,685
I feel like he was my soulmate though. We just clicked and I had a lot of fun talking to him. I don't want to move on from him. He's the only guy that I want to be in a relationship with. I don't care about anyone else
At your age I would have said the same about my crush. (In fact, I still think about him sometimes. You can't forget someone who you had feelings like that for,) But I'm far better off with the man who is now my husband. The things that matter long term are not the same as the things that matter short term.
If John (his name) and I had tried to get together long term, I can see now that it wouldn't have worked out, for several different reasons.
 
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Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
21,015
The way to move on from your crush is to get out into the world and meet someone else.
Give her some credit, she seems to be trying constantly to fish around on SS for a potential intellectual replacement for her crush. :ahhha:
 
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Linda

Linda

Member
Jul 30, 2020
1,685
I feel like he was my soulmate though. We just clicked and I had a lot of fun talking to him. I don't want to move on from him. He's the only guy that I want to be in a relationship with. I don't care about anyone else
"I don't want to move on from him" " I don't care about anyone else." I have said exactly the same. (About 2 different boys, in fact.) So I know how you are feeling. I also know that one day you will care about someone else (assuming that you dont ctb).
You are not in a good situation at the moment. Sitting at home, spending all your time on this site, letting past events go round and round in your head, wanting to live in a kind of world that doesn't exist (and never existed) because the real world is less than perfect, and never interacting directly with the outside world and the people in it is dangerously unhealthy. You are heading for trouble. You must break out.
Put your determination (what your mother calls your stubbornness) to better use.
 
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leavingthesoultrap

leavingthesoultrap

(ᴗ_ ᴗ。)
Nov 25, 2023
1,212
I'm above average and I got my crush's attention, but he stopped talking to me after he got a girlfriend. How do I get his attention again? I only want his, no one else's
Make a hot Instagram acc and gain lots of followers. He might get jealous
 
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derpyderpins

derpyderpins

In the Service of the Queen
Sep 19, 2023
1,809
You can't get his attention again, short of taking all your clothes off in front of him, and even then you would only have his attention short term. Obviously, his feelings for you are not the same as your feelings for him.

If is was possible to spend your life with your crush when his feelings for you are much less than yours for him, I would be together now with someone I met at school, not the man I met when I was 30 and who is now my husband. (Knowing what I know now about life, I'm far better off with my husband than I would have been with my crush, but that's another matter.)

The way to move on from your crush is to get out into the world and meet someone else.
I agree with the prospect of meeting someone else, because "soulmates" aren't a real thing, but disagree entirely about her never being able to get his attention again. We don't know nearly enough, and people's perceptions can be different. It's possible he was into her but they didn't communicate properly or interpret the signals properly. He may have liked her but not picked up on the fact that she liked him. I saw that in a thread here just a couple months ago. Guy was convinced his crush wanted nothing to do with him, but he confessed after some encouragement and found out she was crushing on him, too.

Here's the thread, because young love makes me happy and I think it's worth reading.

I don't think she should think one guy is the only guy in the world, but if he becomes single there's no reason she couldn't shoot her shot. The numbers are way more in her favor than they were for the guy in that thread.
His personality and mine were compatible. We had similar interests and he was cool, fun and interesting to talk to. We talked on Instagram about politics and philosophy and that kind of stuff
The girl and I that dated for many years were "compatible" in this way. Our interests were similar, our way of thinking, our worldview, etc.

Here's the thing: with us being so similar, we couldn't grow. And we both had a tendency to get depressed by the world, so when it hit both of us at the same time that was really rough.

A true romantic relationship involves two people nurturing and growing their partnership over time. I'm now with someone who on paper is very different in a lot of ways, but it works for both of us. We started with very few shared interests, but we're learning about each other's as we go.

The lie Hollywood tells you is that what music you like or hobbies you have matters when picking a partner. Initial compatibility really only matters to the extent both people are going to put work in to growing the relationship. Over time, you'll become more like each other, trying to gain a little of their good qualities and leave behind some of your not so good qualities. Can't do that if you're basically the same person at the start.

What matters the most is that you have two people who want a relationship and are willing to put the other person first.
 
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Ferdinand Bardamu

Ferdinand Bardamu

No Future For Democracy
Feb 22, 2024
291
Me :gigachad:
 
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QueerMelancholy

QueerMelancholy

Mage
Jul 29, 2023
534
The hottest member on this forum is probably that one guy with that cute face. He thinks he's too short or too ugly but he's cute and stuff.

season 4 love GIF by Girls on HBO
LMAO
 
sserafim

sserafim

brighter than the sun, that’s just me
Sep 13, 2023
9,013
The hottest member on this forum is probably that one guy with that cute face. He thinks he's too short or too ugly but he's cute and stuff.

season 4 love GIF by Girls on HBO
LMAO
Who? I want to know
 
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*Hope*

*Hope*

Student
Jan 18, 2021
112
Wtf has this forum become? This is pathetic… Kids have overrun this forum
 
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*Hope*

*Hope*

Student
Jan 18, 2021
112
I'm also only interested in white people despite being Asian. All of my crushes have been on white guys. I have a feeling that I was European in my past life, probably Western European.
IMG 3513
 
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WhenTheyCry

WhenTheyCry

Experienced
Jun 25, 2022
270
Oh lol. I'm of Chinese ancestry as well. I'm also only interested in white people despite being Asian. All of my crushes have been on white guys. I've never liked any Asian guys except for kpop guys haha. I have a feeling that I was European in my past life, probably Western European. I don't know what my soul wanted to be. Maybe it was looking for a change
Lol, this is what happens when Asians consume too much Western media. All Asians on this forum take notes, this is how someone internalizes racism and self-hatred. Same for other POC. You need to browse through r/aznidentity or something to cleanse your mind.

No matter how blonde you dye your hair, how much makeup you put on to look white, you'll always be Asian. What zero racial pride does to a person.
 
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Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
21,015
Lol, this is what happens when Asians consume too much Western media. All Asians on this forum take notes, this is how someone internalizes racism and self-hatred. Same for other POC. You need to browse through r/aznidentity or something to cleanse your mind.

No matter how blonde you dye your hair, how much makeup you put on to look white, you'll always be Asian. What zero racial pride does to a person.
I don't think having a racial preference should count as internalized racism. I think it just means she has a type.
 
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WhenTheyCry

WhenTheyCry

Experienced
Jun 25, 2022
270
I don't think having a racial preference should count as internalized racism. I think it just means she has a type.
White worshipping is a mental disease. Don't let race dictate who you should date.
 
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Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
21,015
White worshipping is a mental disease. Don't let race dictate who you should date.
Maybe she just doesn't like Asian men because they tend to hold hyper conservative and misogynistic values from many decades ago? Just kidding. I might not be the best authority on this anyway.😅
 
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WhenTheyCry

WhenTheyCry

Experienced
Jun 25, 2022
270
Maybe she just doesn't like Asian men because they tend to hold hyper conservative and misogynistic values from many decades ago? Just kidding. I might not be the best authority on this anyway.😅
Way to generalize billions of people. As if white men weren't holding witch trials and hanging women for "casting curses" in the past. Saying Asian men are misogynistic sounds like a western smear. China has a much lower divorce rate than America. Look at the #MeToo movement. White men are privileged in the fact that their sexual assaults are underreported compared to other races. America elected a white rapist for a president for four years. White men can use their social status to get away with a lot of things. When you grow up in a western country watching western media that teaches you white supremacy and that other races are bad, of course you'll develop a biased opinion.



 
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Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
21,015
Way to generalize billions of people. As if white men weren't holding witch trials and hanging women for "casting curses" in the past. Saying Asian men are misogynistic sounds like a western smear. China has a much lower divorce rate than America. Look at the #MeToo movement. White men are privileged in the fact that their sexual assaults are underreported compared to other races. America elected a white rapist for a president for four years. White men can use their social status to get away with a lot of things. When you grow up in a western country watching western media that teaches you white supremacy and that other races are bad, of course you'll develop a biased opinion.


I did say I was kidding. Obviously I do not believe all or even most Asian men are misogynist, although even less than half of a billion can still be 400 million.

I do have enough anecdotal evidence from my own experiences growing up to show that at least some Asian men have very outdated values. My own Asian father was constantly abusive both physically and emotionally to my Asian mother. Both of my parents were raised in Taiwan and didn't even move here until after getting their bachelors degrees and their cultural values are considered pretty far right by today's standards.

As for white people, I genuinely don't believe it's healthy to constantly obsess over them like they're some kind of pale devil. I don't buy into the theory that western media is forcing white supremacy upon me either but maybe that's because I'm okay with Asian supremacy where it counts. I once took an Asian American history class in college and I was so bored because it barely talked about Asians at all! It was mostly just about how bad white people are in general. A lot of Chinese international students were taking this class too and one day one of them even raised their hand to complain about how the professor (who was white by the way) seemed to only care about using the class to make white people look bad while not even really leaving any time to discuss actual Asians at all which was supposed to be why most of the people were even taking the class. These Asian students didn't even care about white people they just wanted to learn about Asians and yeah you could make the argument that white people are responsible for whatever things Asians may have suffered upon immigrating to the US but like dwelling on it constantly just gets boring after a while.
 
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D

damyon

Specialist
Mar 6, 2024
344
Wtf has this forum become? This is pathetic… Kids have overrun this forum
I'm not sure if you're being serious with your comment.
Dismissing others' concerns or questions might come off as hypocritical :notsure:

This is an Off-Topic section after all:
Take a break from serious discussions and connect with others here. Talk about music, games, hobbies, interests, and have fun!
 
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*Hope*

*Hope*

Student
Jan 18, 2021
112
I'm not sure if you're being serious with your comment.
Dismissing others' concerns or questions might come off as hypocritical :notsure:

This is an Off-Topic section after all:
Take a break from serious discussions and connect with others here. Talk about music, games, hobbies, interests, and have fun!
It's not the topic or the question itself, but the content of it. If you read the comments and OP's replies, you can clearly see it's written by a bunch of teenagers who have nothing to look for on this forum.

Not to mention OP saying she is asian and only likes white men, and that she was european in her past life haha 😂😂
 
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Spectre

Spectre

I am serious about not taking things seriously
Nov 27, 2023
234
Resurecting this thread because I'm bored. Who did we settle one?
 
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derpyderpins

derpyderpins

In the Service of the Queen
Sep 19, 2023
1,809
Resurecting this thread because I'm bored. Who did we settle one?
Reading back through the thread, it seems the actual topics were (1) sserafim's crush and her desire for a relationship with him, (2) are silly topics like this acceptable, and (3) "tee hee I'm the sexiest."

Just as a tl;dr, "previously, on [thread]" summary.
 
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Havnis

Havnis

XXXX'ed out 🌲🌲🌲🌲
May 15, 2024
167
I think FC, only because she thinks that suicide is rational and existence can't be positive.
 
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sserafim

sserafim

brighter than the sun, that’s just me
Sep 13, 2023
9,013
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bearbrikk

bearbrikk

Listen to the voice in your head
May 2, 2024
121
I only talked with her once but by the way she talks, it is definitely you @ColorlessTrees
 
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damienlerone03

damienlerone03

reject humanity, return to monke
May 5, 2024
1,042
too bad there is no @everyone tag on here😔
 
-nobodyknows-

-nobodyknows-

Arcanist
Jun 16, 2024
435
Very curious now as to whether anyone went out with someone they met on this forum…
 
P

pyx

Wizard
Jun 5, 2024
618
hot people dont use the internet
 
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