Venting Why did God do this to me?

[its_joever]

I never asked for these feelings towards her. I already know how unlovable I am why did God make me feel this way about her? I just wanna forget, I just wanna move on but I can't and every day is a reminder and every night is a reminder of how much I can't forget about it. In my dreams there she is, in my surrounding there she is, in my mind there she is. She occupies my thoughts, my nightmares and my life. And I'm so done, when these feelings are just not reciprocated what could I ever do? Go out and scream into the sea so Maybe I could let it all out, but I don't have that option either. I could only dream of a world where anybody cared

 

[dreamscape1111]

 

[derpyderpins]

I care. I'm becoming the resident old man here with my comments but hearing about your limerence takes me back in time. Agonizing . . . walking around all night just thinking about her, waiting for that next chance when I'd get to see her even though I knew she wouldn't look at me except to think "uhh, what's he looking at??"

You are dealing with powerful, natural emotions that are not unprecedented but are unique to you. I can't offer you much comfort. (I mean, I could try to coach you to go out and get the girl: hit the gym! be confident! But just typing that out pisses me off so I'm sure it would do the same for you because you know it isn't that easy.) What I can say is to let yourself feel this powerful emotion and turn it into something. This post is beautiful. Your pain is awful, but it's beautiful. So many people wander through the day like robots, but you are a ball of passion. She must be something special, huh? Let her be inspiration rather than your jailor.

Anhedonia is a scary beast, and the grass is always greener, but I wish for a day I could go back to feeling powerful emotions like you are. Even if they are terribly hard to control and deal with, you know damn well you are alive.

So, anyway, yes I care. Through the airwaves I see you and I see your pain. I'm rooting for you, whatever direction you go.


(Separately, and I know this is probably not something you are interested in, but I want to say it so please indulge me. If I could go back, now, I would tell my "her" that "I think you're incredible. You've wrapped me around your finger without even knowing it. I hope you don't mind me saying that, and I'm not expecting you to reciprocate, but my feelings are so strong that I think it would be a shame if you didn't at least hear about it from me. It's beautiful, just like you are, so please accept my admiration, even if it isn't mutual."

I know that sounds extremely cringe and stupid and like a bad script, but now that I've got real old man soul and anhedonia I just don't care anymore. Looking back even if she rolled her eyes and said "get away from me" I wouldn't regret it, because it's pure. Of course, I never did that lol and she probably thought I didn't like her and was super creepy, always brooding in a corner. I'm really happy I crushed so hard on her, though, because it shaped who I am in a way. Made me really think about life.)

 

[its_joever]

I care. I'm becoming the resident old man here with my comments but hearing about your limerence takes me back in time. Agonizing . . . walking around all night just thinking about her, waiting for that next chance when I'd get to see her even though I knew she wouldn't look at me except to think "uhh, what's he looking at??"

You are dealing with powerful, natural emotions that are not unprecedented but are unique to you. I can't offer you much comfort. (I mean, I could try to coach you to go out and get the girl: hit the gym! be confident! But just typing that out pisses me off so I'm sure it would do the same for you because you know it isn't that easy.) What I can say is to let yourself feel this powerful emotion and turn it into something. This post is beautiful. Your pain is awful, but it's beautiful. So many people wander through the day like robots, but you are a ball of passion. She must be something special, huh? Let her be inspiration rather than your jailor.

Anhedonia is a scary beast, and the grass is always greener, but I wish for a day I could go back to feeling powerful emotions like you are. Even if they are terribly hard to control and deal with, you know damn well you are alive.

So, anyway, yes I care. Through the airwaves I see you and I see your pain. I'm rooting for you, whatever direction you go.


(Separately, and I know this is probably not something you are interested in, but I want to say it so please indulge me. If I could go back, now, I would tell my "her" that "I think you're incredible. You've wrapped me around your finger without even knowing it. I hope you don't mind me saying that, and I'm not expecting you to reciprocate, but my feelings are so strong that I think it would be a shame if you didn't at least hear about it from me. It's beautiful, just like you are, so please accept my admiration, even if it isn't mutual."

I know that sounds extremely cringe and stupid and like a bad script, but now that I've got real old man soul and anhedonia I just don't care anymore. Looking back even if she rolled her eyes and said "get away from me" I wouldn't regret it, because it's pure. Of course, I never did that lol and she probably thought I didn't like her and was super creepy, always brooding in a corner. I'm really happy I crushed so hard on her, though, because it shaped who I am in a way. Made me really think about life.)

Thank you for your comment first of all

Oh man the sheer thought of opening up to her fills my stomach with anxious pain as I find it hard to breathe. I can only imagine how awkward the situation would be since she is my groupmate and even though it's my last year of University it would be so awkward and so unbearably mentally challenging to go through that rather than to go through what I'm going through right now.

Yes I might occasionally literally have dreams of her at nighttime but still opening up to her wouldn't change a damn thing. See when a girl likes you she makes it pretty clear and as a guy you might very often or even more than often take things the wrong way when she's just being friendly. I've made that mistake a lot even though I'm only 20.

The point of the matter is, I know the answer is no and I know that I'm not necessarily capable of keeping up such a relationship since I am unproductive and quite lazy and truth be told I have felt this strongly about a different girl before all the way back in 10th grade but I didn't tell her and now I no longer even think about her until I have to make a comparison.

I know she's just a girl and yeah she's pretty and everybody would agree with that and yeah of course she has more than enough boys eyeing up on her so what makes a difference in me? I am barely taller than her when all those tall boys are kind of hitting up on her.

Also yeah she might have called me mysterious when the teacher asked to describe a groupmate, but a groupmate who's more unknown or should we say in the background..she did pick out me and say yeah he is mysterious. And the day later when we saw each other and she was sitting pretty much next to me she said: Oh hello mysterious and I told her that "I couldn't be as mysterious as you even if I tried" and she just kinda shrugged it off and that was it. Well yeah I did pick her card when she dropped it and she smiled at me and said thanks but again as I said guys take things the wrong way there are a lot of factors here so that's what's funny. Yeah man I'm sorry for the wall of text.

I feel encouraged to tell her to be honest but I'm definitely not gonna I mean shit man it's tough

 

[derpyderpins]

No worries about a wall of text. Talking it out is fine.

Oh man the sheer thought of opening up to her fills my stomach with anxious pain as I find it hard to breathe. I can only imagine how awkward the situation would be since she is my groupmate and even though it's my last year of University it would be so awkward and so unbearably mentally challenging to go through that rather than to go through what I'm going through right now.

Oh man I'm sure it does. Right now you're in a rough state. You have these powerful feelings twisting your stomach in knots, but you also have that promise of the unknown. Speaking from experience, you can become addicted to the limerence. You want to keep yourself in this cycle, if only because it keeps the hope alive that things will change and she will suddenly make a move on you.

However,

opening up to her wouldn't change a damn thing.

Not trying to pressure you at all but this statement is an argument in favor of telling her. Is the path you are currently going on changing a damn thing? Are you making progress? If so, there's no harm, especially if you have already decided it's a loss. I see these possibilities:

1. You confess. She doesn't like you that way, and doesn't react well to you confessing. Pros: you can start to move past the mental torment you're in and have a sense of satisfaction that at the very least you tried. Don't dismiss that as being a small victory. Cons: Things will be awkward between you from a few months, (Which could happen anyway if your limerence gets more powerful and you have to watch her get attention from other guys) and you lose that unrealistic daydream of her suddenly making a move on you.
2. You confess. She doesn't like you that way, but takes your confession as flattering and harmless. Pros: same as above, and maybe you can even have a better friendship with your feelings being known. Cons: lose the daydream as stated above.
3. You confess. She gives you a chance to get coffee sometime. Pros: all the pros. Cons: none.
4. She has some interest in your "mystery," but you keep going as you are now and don't make a move. Pros: avoid the mental difficulty of confessing. Cons: keep torturing yourself and miss an opportunity.
5. She is not interested and you keep going as you are now and don't make a move. Pros: same as above. Cons: Keep torturing yourself as you are now.

So, from a practical standpoint you have some weighing of options to do. This is a matter of the heart, though, and I know logic can't dictate everything. If you don't want to confess, you are joining a long-standing rank of men who understand why you didn't. If you do confess, though, no true man will ever blame you or think that was anything other than a good, ballsy move, even if we wouldn't be strong enough to do the same.

truth be told I have felt this strongly about a different girl before all the way back in 10th grade but I didn't tell her and now I no longer even think about her until I have to make a comparison.

Totally okay. You may just be a romantic. It doesn't diminish how special this girl is, and if you have a strong crush on another girl down the road - same thing.

I know she's just a girl and yeah she's pretty and everybody would agree with that and yeah of course she has more than enough boys eyeing up on her so what makes a difference in me? I am barely taller than her when all those tall boys are kind of hitting up on her.

Well, step one could be your feelings for her. That could be a differentiator. If all she cares about is height then she's nothing special. Really, though, love isn't a science. I've seen plenty of relationships where I think "how the hell did he get her??" It happens. Usually it is a sense of humor, patience, and giving a sense of stability. If you are firm in your convictions, there's no way your odds are literally 0, because simply having firm convictions is a boon.

And the day later when we saw each other and she was sitting pretty much next to me she said: Oh hello mysterious and I told her that "I couldn't be as mysterious as you even if I tried" and she just kinda shrugged it off and that was it. Well yeah I did pick her card when she dropped it and she smiled at me and said thanks but again as I said guys take things the wrong way there are a lot of factors here so that's what's funny.

Yeah signals are weird as hell lol. Girls can be very different with what is a signal and what is being nice, which leads to lot of missed interpretations and lots of mixed signals. Because it's not reliable data, try not to focus on it. It's okay to still be happy to get a nice smile from her, though.

I feel encouraged to tell her to be honest but I'm definitely not gonna I mean shit man it's tough

Oh, yeah, I know. No need to put pressure on yourself, because you're going to do the best thing you can with the info you have. If you muster the courage and it feels right, go for it. If you don't, that's okay, to. Live in this moment.

 

[its_joever]

No worries about a wall of text. Talking it out is fine.



Oh man I'm sure it does. Right now you're in a rough state. You have these powerful feelings twisting your stomach in knots, but you also have that promise of the unknown. Speaking from experience, you can become addicted to the limerence. You want to keep yourself in this cycle, if only because it keeps the hope alive that things will change and she will suddenly make a move on you.

However,



Not trying to pressure you at all but this statement is an argument in favor of telling her. Is the path you are currently going on changing a damn thing? Are you making progress? If so, there's no harm, especially if you have already decided it's a loss. I see these possibilities:

1. You confess. She doesn't like you that way, and doesn't react well to you confessing. Pros: you can start to move past the mental torment you're in and have a sense of satisfaction that at the very least you tried. Don't dismiss that as being a small victory. Cons: Things will be awkward between you from a few months, (Which could happen anyway if your limerence gets more powerful and you have to watch her get attention from other guys) and you lose that unrealistic daydream of her suddenly making a move on you.
2. You confess. She doesn't like you that way, but takes your confession as flattering and harmless. Pros: same as above, and maybe you can even have a better friendship with your feelings being known. Cons: lose the daydream as stated above.
3. You confess. She gives you a chance to get coffee sometime. Pros: all the pros. Cons: none.
4. She has some interest in your "mystery," but you keep going as you are now and don't make a move. Pros: avoid the mental difficulty of confessing. Cons: keep torturing yourself and miss an opportunity.
5. She is not interested and you keep going as you are now and don't make a move. Pros: same as above. Cons: Keep torturing yourself as you are now.

So, from a practical standpoint you have some weighing of options to do. This is a matter of the heart, though, and I know logic can't dictate everything. If you don't want to confess, you are joining a long-standing rank of men who understand why you didn't. If you do confess, though, no true man will ever blame you or think that was anything other than a good, ballsy move, even if we wouldn't be strong enough to do the same.



Totally okay. You may just be a romantic. It doesn't diminish how special this girl is, and if you have a strong crush on another girl down the road - same thing.



Well, step one could be your feelings for her. That could be a differentiator. If all she cares about is height then she's nothing special. Really, though, love isn't a science. I've seen plenty of relationships where I think "how the hell did he get her??" It happens. Usually it is a sense of humor, patience, and giving a sense of stability. If you are firm in your convictions, there's no way your odds are literally 0, because simply having firm convictions is a boon.



Yeah signals are weird as hell lol. Girls can be very different with what is a signal and what is being nice, which leads to lot of missed interpretations and lots of mixed signals. Because it's not reliable data, try not to focus on it. It's okay to still be happy to get a nice smile from her, though.



Oh, yeah, I know. No need to put pressure on yourself, because you're going to do the best thing you can with the info you have. If you muster the courage and it feels right, go for it. If you don't, that's okay, to. Live in this moment.

Thanks for the lengthy response again.

I reevaluated the signal part once more again. Tried not seeing it through rose colored blind glasses and I realize that that is probably not interest but her just being herself.

I try and focus on the way she smiled at me and I try to logically analyze what she had really felt at the moment, you know try to put myself in her shoes.

There he is next to me, I am cooling myself off with a small card and accidentally drop it on the ground, before I even try to make a move he picks it up for me and I naturally smile at the kindness and say thanks because who wouldn't?

Also to judge what she had said at the moment when she sat next to me and called me mysterious could only be a follow-up or an attempt to cool of the tense aura between us, because we humans can sense those things after all.


Chances are she thinks that I'm interesting here but not in a romantic way just kinda interesting the way I talk or think. Considering that is a very introverted or shy girl, (at least from what I observe might be a completely different person), the odds of a shy girl or introverted girl starting up a conversation from a fellow from the opposite sex, but to also consider that we have been groupmates for almost 4 years now.

I have came to the conclusion that it was all friendly. There are clear signals of interest when a woman likes you back or likes you at all in "that" way so to speak. And I didn't catch any of them. I just catched somebody being or acting as normal as possible, cause if the genders were reversed I'd still not think that they were attracted to me like that.


Weighing up also the attractive qualities that I possess, I might be slightly above average facially but I'm 2 inches below average height which is 5'7" ½ inches, I'm 5'6.5" and that she is 5'5", that does bring my points down. Now I don't think this is insecurities speaking. I have seen her smiling at a tall guy when he was in front of the class doing a presentation when the teacher had pointed out his exceptionally tall height of 6'3". I am certain that smile was different from the smile that I had gotten when I picked up her card from the ground. Its more than a gut feeling. Plus I would say I'm quite an emotional guy so I know pretty well how people portray their emotions in different scenarios.

So to put it in a smaller frame, I'd say that my chances of dating her or her not rejecting me are lower than 50%. I can almost imagine a message I receive from her that says "I only see you as a groupmate". I know it's heartbreaking but I've already got that message before from somebody else and I know the signs and I know the lead up to it.

Finally, sorry for the word salad it's just a very deep Analysis of the situation, weighing up different possibilities and coming to a resolution. You would do the same thing if you took a risk of driving your car off a valley to land onto the other side.

 

[derpyderpins]

Thanks for the lengthy response again.

I reevaluated the signal part once more again. Tried not seeing it through rose colored blind glasses and I realize that that is probably not interest but her just being herself.

I try and focus on the way she smiled at me and I try to logically analyze what she had really felt at the moment, you know try to put myself in her shoes.

There he is next to me, I am cooling myself off with a small card and accidentally drop it on the ground, before I even try to make a move he picks it up for me and I naturally smile at the kindness and say thanks because who wouldn't?

Also to judge what she had said at the moment when she sat next to me and called me mysterious could only be a follow-up or an attempt to cool of the tense aura between us, because we humans can sense those things after all.


Chances are she thinks that I'm interesting here but not in a romantic way just kinda interesting the way I talk or think. Considering that is a very introverted or shy girl, (at least from what I observe might be a completely different person), the odds of a shy girl or introverted girl starting up a conversation from a fellow from the opposite sex, but to also consider that we have been groupmates for almost 4 years now.

I have came to the conclusion that it was all friendly. There are clear signals of interest when a woman likes you back or likes you at all in "that" way so to speak. And I didn't catch any of them. I just catched somebody being or acting as normal as possible, cause if the genders were reversed I'd still not think that they were attracted to me like that.


Weighing up also the attractive qualities that I possess, I might be slightly above average facially but I'm 2 inches below average height which is 5'7" ½ inches, I'm 5'6.5" and that she is 5'5", that does bring my points down. Now I don't think this is insecurities speaking. I have seen her smiling at a tall guy when he was in front of the class doing a presentation when the teacher had pointed out his exceptionally tall height of 6'3". I am certain that smile was different from the smile that I had gotten when I picked up her card from the ground. Its more than a gut feeling. Plus I would say I'm quite an emotional guy so I know pretty well how people portray their emotions in different scenarios.

So to put it in a smaller frame, I'd say that my chances of dating her or her not rejecting me are lower than 50%. I can almost imagine a message I receive from her that says "I only see you as a groupmate". I know it's heartbreaking but I've already got that message before from somebody else and I know the signs and I know the lead up to it.

Finally, sorry for the word salad it's just a very deep Analysis of the situation, weighing up different possibilities and coming to a resolution. You would do the same thing if you took a risk of driving your car off a valley to land onto the other side.

No need to keep thanking me. Happy to talk this out with you. I don't blame you for thinking about it a lot, but I stand by my previous advice not to focus on your interpretation of the signals. If she is pretty and shy, you won't believe it but it's completely possible guys don't actually make moves on her. Sure they may flirt and try to hit on her, but crossing that barrier to asking her out is a different story if she is shy and not giving a lot of conversation back. And again I think you're fixating on the height more than most women actually would care. I know it's a stereotype but short guys marry pretty girls all the time.

Less than 50% isn't bad haha. The vast majority of guys - myself included - don't have anywhere near a 50% success rate, and girls don't say yes to more than 50%. It's something you have to live with. Baseball batting averages are your best-case.

Tell me: what's so bad about "I only see you as a groupmate?" That's what you are assuming is the case now. So it is something about the dynamics once you have been vulnerable, like you admitting you find her attractive puts you at this social disadvantage where she holds all the power. Again, though . . . that seems to be the case right now. Is it embarrassment? Guys get rejected all the time. Nothing to be ashamed of, and anyone who would make fun of you isn't worth your time. You're in your last year of school so you aren't tied to these people forever.

I'll tell you something important. If you decide to ask her out, hold your head high regardless of the answer. Her saying "no" and you maturely saying "that's fine, I totally understand," then continuing to act normally around her erases all your concern about a shift in dynamic between your relationship. You don't have to say it, but if your attitude is "that's okay, I still like you and think you are pretty but I know I'll meet someone else," she will always look at you and think "damn . . . was there more to him than I realized?" I PROMISE that's not BS.

 

[its_joever]

No need to keep thanking me. Happy to talk this out with you. I don't blame you for thinking about it a lot, but I stand by my previous advice not to focus on your interpretation of the signals. If she is pretty and shy, you won't believe it but it's completely possible guys don't actually make moves on her. Sure they may flirt and try to hit on her, but crossing that barrier to asking her out is a different story if she is shy and not giving a lot of conversation back. And again I think you're fixating on the height more than most women actually would care. I know it's a stereotype but short guys marry pretty girls all the time.

Less than 50% isn't bad haha. The vast majority of guys - myself included - don't have anywhere near a 50% success rate, and girls don't say yes to more than 50%. It's something you have to live with. Baseball batting averages are your best-case.

Tell me: what's so bad about "I only see you as a groupmate?" That's what you are assuming is the case now. So it is something about the dynamics once you have been vulnerable, like you admitting you find her attractive puts you at this social disadvantage where she holds all the power. Again, though . . . that seems to be the case right now. Is it embarrassment? Guys get rejected all the time. Nothing to be ashamed of, and anyone who would make fun of you isn't worth your time. You're in your last year of school so you aren't tied to these people forever.

I'll tell you something important. If you decide to ask her out, hold your head high regardless of the answer. Her saying "no" and you maturely saying "that's fine, I totally understand," then continuing to act normally around her erases all your concern about a shift in dynamic between your relationship. You don't have to say it, but if your attitude is "that's okay, I still like you and think you are pretty but I know I'll meet someone else," she will always look at you and think "damn . . . was there more to him than I realized?" I PROMISE that's not BS.

There's almost a dead end that I can't seem to find my way out of. I try to think what's the worst that could happen? And I know logically speaking not much, but I don't understand why I feel so strongly about it either. It's kind of embarrassing. I have kind of idolized her in my mind, I should really help myself with that because it is never a good way to think about someone. Truth be told, I don't know her and I have no clue who she is. But I feel like I've always known her deeply. Does that sound ridiculous? That is not logical at all, why do I feel such a strong connection to somebody that I have never even really spoke to? Just physical attraction? Is that how deep physical attraction is?

But I know for sure that if she was all annoying or a bore I would never like her. It's the way she acts, so poetically, the way she dresses and her quiet tone of voice. It is the way she stares at anything at all. Is this admiration or is it love? Is this desperation or is it love? Only time will tell

 

[sserafim]

I never asked for these feelings towards her. I already know how unlovable I am why did God make me feel this way about her? I just wanna forget, I just wanna move on but I can't and every day is a reminder and every night is a reminder of how much I can't forget about it. In my dreams there she is, in my surrounding there she is, in my mind there she is. She occupies my thoughts, my nightmares and my life. And I'm so done, when these feelings are just not reciprocated what could I ever do? Go out and scream into the sea so Maybe I could let it all out, but I don't have that option either. I could only dream of a world where anybody cared

Because god gets off on pain and suffering

 

[derpyderpins]

There's almost a dead end that I can't seem to find my way out of. I try to think what's the worst that could happen? And I know logically speaking not much, but I don't understand why I feel so strongly about it either. It's kind of embarrassing. I have kind of idolized her in my mind, I should really help myself with that because it is never a good way to think about someone. Truth be told, I don't know her and I have no clue who she is. But I feel like I've always known her deeply. Does that sound ridiculous? That is not logical at all, why do I feel such a strong connection to somebody that I have never even really spoke to? Just physical attraction? Is that how deep physical attraction is?

But I know for sure that if she was all annoying or a bore I would never like her. It's the way she acts, so poetically, the way she dresses and her quiet tone of voice. It is the way she stares at anything at all. Is this admiration or is it love? Is this desperation or is it love? Only time will tell

I've used this word a few times in this conversation but you are describing Limerence. It often comes with imagining the person to be more perfect than they possibly could be and putting them on a pedestal to a point of near worship. It is not ridiculous. It happens to people. I've been there. I've been there with a girl who was really a pretty shitty person once I got to know her better, but that's a story for another day.

I think you are a romantic, and it's certainly nice to be attracted to her mannerisms and presence. Letting the obsession get too far will not be healthy. though. I feel that's why you are at your dead end; you are basically fetishizing the image of her that you know she can't always live up to. If she rejects you, you may not see her this powerfully. If she accepts you and you start to date, you will inevitably see imperfections because people are imperfect. It's like an addiction, but rather than being addicted to her, you're addicted to the idea, and one thing an addict doesn't want to do is risk losing his fix.

This doesn't change what I've said previously, just offering an extra layer of analysis.

Because god gets off on pain and suffering

If only god was a kinky human instead of the entity controlling everything.

 

[its_joever]

I've used this word a few times in this conversation but you are describing Limerence. It often comes with imagining the person to be more perfect than they possibly could be and putting them on a pedestal to a point of near worship. It is not ridiculous. It happens to people. I've been there. I've been there with a girl who was really a pretty shitty person once I got to know her better, but that's a story for another day.

I think you are a romantic, and it's certainly nice to be attracted to her mannerisms and presence. Letting the obsession get too far will not be healthy. though. I feel that's why you are at your dead end; you are basically fetishizing the image of her that you know she can't always live up to. If she rejects you, you may not see her this powerfully. If she accepts you and you start to date, you will inevitably see imperfections because people are imperfect. It's like an addiction, but rather than being addicted to her, you're addicted to the idea, and one thing an addict doesn't want to do is risk losing his fix.

This doesn't change what I've said previously, just offering an extra layer of analysis.

If only god was a kinky human instead of the entity controlling everything.

I finally opened up to her. And it seems that it went well. We've been talking to each other for hours now ever since I opened up to her. I never thought that this would ever be possible. I told her everything. Somehow she feels the same way about me. Like she always knew me deeply. And she opened up to me immediately.
Now we can't help but stare at each other in class, all the time.

 

[derpyderpins]

I finally opened up to her. And it seems that it went well. We've been talking to each other for hours now ever since I opened up to her. I never thought that this would ever be possible. I told her everything. Somehow she feels the same way about me. Like she always knew me deeply. And she opened up to me immediately.
Now we can't help but stare at each other in class, all the time.

That's incredible! Thanks for updating me, and great job!

Now get off this site for a bit and enjoy that.

 

[its_joever]

That's incredible! Thanks for updating me, and great job!

Now get off this site for a bit and enjoy that.

Its crazy we spend the whole class staring at each other. And the way she looks at me is crazy. It seems that it's not always the way that it seems in life. Your words might have pushed me into it too. I am grateful to you