First of all I would like thank everyone for your help and guidance in whatever way you helped me.
I have been planning for almost a year now. I'm financially as well as mentally fucked up to say in short. My mother, who listened to my every word died last year. She was alone and died terribly. I should have looked after her more carefully. Our bitterness and everyday arguments made things rough between us. It still haunts me to realize she is not here anymore. Then there's other members of my family who I have some love and lot of hate. Their half-assed help after my mother's demise made feel like I was a burden and was leeching of them. The way they tried to control me was really miserable. I, myself was such a coward and had no backbone. I often get panic attacks since past one year. I have a bad, severe social anxiety. Anyways that's enough I suppose.
I choose SN for my CTB. Would love to have the N, but it's almost impossible.
I have done 2 day regime.
Yesterday took domperdone thrice
Today : timezone (IST)
7am - domperdone
3pm - fasting (Food)
4pm domperdone
7pm - fasting (Water)
10pm - paracetamol/Ibuprofen - 1 tab & propranolol 60mg
10:15pm - domperdone 3 tabs
10:45pm apply Mocupain gel to the tongue (it's a local anesthetic kind of gel for sores and burning etc)
11:00pm - Take SN 25gm along with olanzapine
I would like my account to be permanently deleted if I am not active in the next 48 hours from the time I posted it here. I will be most likely will sign out 2 hours before my CTB and clean up everything. I have written letter both my family and for the authorities to make it simple as possible. Regardless of their investigations I want to do anything I can to lessen the pain for everyone involved.
Also need your advice if I should sit straight or lie down after taking the SN?
I have been planning for almost a year now. I'm financially as well as mentally fucked up to say in short. My mother, who listened to my every word died last year. She was alone and died terribly. I should have looked after her more carefully. Our bitterness and everyday arguments made things rough between us. It still haunts me to realize she is not here anymore. Then there's other members of my family who I have some love and lot of hate. Their half-assed help after my mother's demise made feel like I was a burden and was leeching of them. The way they tried to control me was really miserable. I, myself was such a coward and had no backbone. I often get panic attacks since past one year. I have a bad, severe social anxiety. Anyways that's enough I suppose.
I choose SN for my CTB. Would love to have the N, but it's almost impossible.
I have done 2 day regime.
Yesterday took domperdone thrice
Today : timezone (IST)
7am - domperdone
3pm - fasting (Food)
4pm domperdone
7pm - fasting (Water)
10pm - paracetamol/Ibuprofen - 1 tab & propranolol 60mg
10:15pm - domperdone 3 tabs
10:45pm apply Mocupain gel to the tongue (it's a local anesthetic kind of gel for sores and burning etc)
11:00pm - Take SN 25gm along with olanzapine
I would like my account to be permanently deleted if I am not active in the next 48 hours from the time I posted it here. I will be most likely will sign out 2 hours before my CTB and clean up everything. I have written letter both my family and for the authorities to make it simple as possible. Regardless of their investigations I want to do anything I can to lessen the pain for everyone involved.
Also need your advice if I should sit straight or lie down after taking the SN?
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