Goodbye - taking the SN bus tonight

[LaVieEnRose]

I'm feeling so numb but so sad too
I don't know how my family is going to handle this. I feel so guilty and sad about what I'm going to do. I just can't handle the immense pain anymore. I have 45 minutes til I start my meds and like 4 hours til sn:( I'm scared

If you need to talk privately through things you can message me. Chat in real time.

 

[wanttodie]

Good luck

 

[AllCatsAreGrey]

In my time here I have seen a few goodbye threads, but I've never felt compelled to respond. I just want to voice my presence. I'm sorry to hear of your pain. You're not alone. I wish you well in all that you put your mind to. We're here for you if you miss the bus.

 

[cscott]

I'm feeling so numb but so sad too
I don't know how my family is going to handle this. I feel so guilty and sad about what I'm going to do. I just can't handle the immense pain anymore. I have 45 minutes til I start my meds and like 4 hours til sn:( I'm scared

I hope you make it through.. good good luck

 

[avaruus]

I'm feeling so numb but so sad too
I don't know how my family is going to handle this. I feel so guilty and sad about what I'm going to do. I just can't handle the immense pain anymore. I have 45 minutes til I start my meds and like 4 hours til sn:( I'm scared

It's completely normal to be scared, take it easy.
Enjoy your final hours. Listen to some nice, calming music.
Everythings going to be okay :)

 

[toofargone6969]

If you need to talk privately through things you can message me. Chat in real time.

Thank you so much<3

It's completely normal to be scared, take it easy.
Enjoy your final hours. Listen to some nice, calming music.
Everythings going to be okay :)

I'm watching Harry Potter to calm myself. Taking my tylenol and first dose of propranolol soon



I can't edit my main post to add check marks anymore but I just took my 1000mg tylenol and 40mg propranolol. Water fast started. trying to stay calm

 

[Huggs]

I'm glad you're watching something light, I want to do the same when I go, on that day I plan to watch a Ghibli film and only listen to calming music, nothing heavy. It'll be alright. Remember that you have a good plan and that you can delay if you need to. I'll be here if you want to chat.

 

[stilhavinightmares]

So much love to you. I know all the feelings you're having and remember them well. Just remember, you can always change your mind if you're not ready.

 

[toofargone6969]

I'm glad you're watching something light, I want to do the same when I go, on that day I plan to watch a Ghibli film and only listen to calming music, nothing heavy. It'll be alright. Remember that you have a good plan and that you can delay if you need to. I'll be here if you want to chat.

I love Ghibli films. Was thinking of watching totoro but HP feels more like home. Like being a kid again.

 

[Huggs]

I love Ghibli films. Was thinking of watching totoro but HP feels more like home. Like being a kid again.

That's good to hear. Nostalgia can be very nice. What's your favorite Harry Potter movie if you had to pick? When it comes to Ghibli it's between Ponyo and Spirited Away for me, I love how whimsical they feel and the design of the environments is stellar. I've watched Spirited Away far too many times now though so I don't know if I'll be viewing it again in this lifetime…when you eat your favorite meal three times a day for ten years you're bound to build a tolerance!

 

[toofargone6969]

That's good to hear. Nostalgia can be very nice. What's your favorite Harry Potter movie if you had to pick? When it comes to Ghibli it's between Ponyo and Spirited Away for me, I love how whimsical they feel and the design of the environments is stellar. I've watched Spirited Away far too many times now though so I don't know if I'll be viewing it again in this lifetime…when you eat your favorite meal three times a day for ten years you're bound to build a tolerance!

Definitely the first 3 but if I had to pick then prisoner of azkaban for sure. I love Spirited Away too, especially the soundtrack.

 

[Huggs]

Definitely the first 3 but if I had to pick then prisoner of azkaban for sure. I love Spirited Away too, especially the soundtrack.

Ghibli movies have great soundtracks for sure. I feel like the scourge of society saying this but I have not seen Harry Potter actually, only short snippets…is it a must watch?

 

[toofargone6969]

Just took my lorazepam pills. I took like 4mg instead of 3. Might as well.

Ghibli movies have great soundtracks for sure. I feel like the scourge of society saying this but I have not seen Harry Potter actually, only short snippets…is it a must watch?

Ohh for sure, even if you haven't read the books. The soundtrack by John Williams is one of a kind. If you like fantasy and feel good movies they are a must watch

 

[Huggs]

Just took my lorazepam pills. I took like 4mg instead of 3. Might as well.

Ohh for sure, even if you haven't read the books. The soundtrack by John Williams is one of a kind. If you like fantasy and feel good movies they are a must watch

I've thought about checking the movies out before. Fantasy and feel good are definitely my thing. I'll take your word for it.
How are you feeling?

 

[Lys_C15H25N3O_d3]

this is as heartbreaking as "seeing" someone i never knew never met saying "goodbye" and never returning. Hope you find peace. and soon will probably wish the same for me ...=\

 

[toofargone6969]

I've thought about checking the movies out before. Fantasy and feel good are definitely my thing. I'll take your word for it.
How are you feeling?

I hope you love them and they bring you some happiness even if it's fleeting.
I'm feeling more calm now after my first round of benzos. Its hit me quite strong since my stomach is so empty. God I want a fucking sandwich or burrito right now. Hopefully theres burritos in heaven:p
I'm taking my 3×10mg domperidone now. Down the hatch.

 

[chuerdhmproton]

I hope you love them and they bring you some happiness even if it's fleeting.
I'm feeling more calm now after my first round of benzos. Its hit me quite strong since my stomach is so empty. God I want a fucking sandwich or burrito right now. Hopefully theres burritos in heaven:p
I'm taking my 3×10mg domperidone now. Down the hatch.

Good luck my friend, I'll send burrito through parcel to you if heaven does not make them

 

[Huggs]

I hope you love them and they bring you some happiness even if it's fleeting.
I'm feeling more calm now after my first round of benzos. Its hit me quite strong since my stomach is so empty. God I want a fucking sandwich or burrito right now. Hopefully theres burritos in heaven:p
I'm taking my 3×10mg domperidone now. Down the hatch.

I'm happy to hear you're feeling calmer.
I'm sure there'd be a whole company of burrito trucks in heaven. And no lines!

 

[toofargone6969]

I'm happy to hear you're feeling calmer.
I'm sure there'd be a whole company of burrito trucks in heaven. And no lines!

Mmm there better be! With green sauce and grilled chicken and tons of chz.

I forgot to take my 80mg propranolol at 11 with the domperidone so my schedule is off but oh well. 80mg prop at 11:30pm and now I'm thinking the megadose of liquid benzos will be around 11:45. Might not drink SN til 12:15 or so to account for my mistake. The key is getting the drink mixed and drank before I'm completley incapacitated
Feeling very calm and not giving a fuck due to the benzos. I was just going through my late dog's box of stuff and getting emotional cause I hope I can be with her again soon. Reread my suicide notes to my loved ones and they're as good as they'll ever be. I hope I've left enough behind.

This salty mess better not taste too bad. I hope my journey is peaceful after the shitstorm I've been through this year. So far it seems benzos are essential for reducing SI and bad feelings

 

[love2-1]

Good luck brother, first round is on me when I meet you.

 

[Huggs]

Mmm there better be! With green sauce and grilled chicken and tons of chz.

I forgot to take my 80mg propranolol at 11 with the domperidone so my schedule is off but oh well. 80mg prop at 11:30pm and now I'm thinking the megadose of liquid benzos will be around 11:45. Might not drink SN til 12:15 or so to account for my mistake. The key is getting the drink mixed and drank before I'm completley incapacitated
Feeling very calm and not giving a fuck due to the benzos. I was just going through my late dog's box of stuff and getting emotional cause I hope I can be with her again soon. Reread my suicide notes to my loved ones and they're as good as they'll ever be. I hope I've left enough behind.

This salty mess better not taste too bad. I hope my journey is peaceful after the shitstorm I've been through this year. So far it seems benzos are essential for reducing SI and bad feelings

Really glad you managed to get benzos. And you're right on the letters, there's no such thing as perfection but I bet what you wrote will bring a little closure, I've heard people on here say they wished someone would have left them a note.
People keep saying SN is seawater but saltier, with a burn. The straw is definitely a good idea.

 

[sash]

Hi. Said I'd b here. Do u have a mint? Another poster drank then had to suck a mint after the taste

 

[Goku Black]

Feeling very calm and not giving a fuck due to the benzos. I was just going through my late dog's box of stuff and getting emotional cause I hope I can be with her again soon. Reread my suicide notes to my loved ones and they're as good as they'll ever be. I hope I've left enough behind.

Just got up to get on with my Sunday and I had to come back in and check in you, so glad you are still here. You can only say so much on a suicide note after all, I do hope the benzos work because they do reduce any apprehensive thoughts or feelings.

 

[cscott]

Mmm there better be! With green sauce and grilled chicken and tons of chz.

I forgot to take my 80mg propranolol at 11 with the domperidone so my schedule is off but oh well. 80mg prop at 11:30pm and now I'm thinking the megadose of liquid benzos will be around 11:45. Might not drink SN til 12:15 or so to account for my mistake. The key is getting the drink mixed and drank before I'm completley incapacitated
Feeling very calm and not giving a fuck due to the benzos. I was just going through my late dog's box of stuff and getting emotional cause I hope I can be with her again soon. Reread my suicide notes to my loved ones and they're as good as they'll ever be. I hope I've left enough behind.

This salty mess better not taste too bad. I hope my journey is peaceful after the shitstorm I've been through this year. So far it seems benzos are essential for reducing SI and bad feelings

Will u explain the taste or your offline once you do ? Thanks for sharing

Wishing u a real smooth transition man.. suicide is the ultimate bravery

 

[toofargone6969]

Really glad you managed to get benzos. And you're right on the letters, there's no such thing as perfection but I bet what you wrote will bring a little closure, I've heard people on here say they wished someone would have left them a note.
People keep saying SN is seawater but saltier, with a burn. The straw is definitely a good idea.

Yep praying for that damn straw. Will let you know how it goes. I gotta drink this nasty liquid lorazepam first

 

[sash]

I dont believe in an afterlife but I do hope for Rainbow Bridge where our dogs wait for us.

If its real, You'll see her again.

wag wag wag wag waggy wag

 

[toofargone6969]

Will u explain the taste or your offline once you do ? Thanks for sharing

Wishing u a real smooth transition man.. suicide is the ultimate bravery

Yeah I'll describe the taste and whatnot as best as I can. Benzos seem very essential and the prop is keeping my heart nice and slow. I feel like I'm floating and ready to go to the next dimension. Fuck all the pain and self hatred and fear and doubt. Now's not the time to be weak but be strong as I face the unknown.

Approx 10, maybe 12mg liquid lorazepam drinking right now. I won't have long to mix my sn drinks because I'm already having a hard time standing and remembering things lol.

 

[Goku Black]

Approx 10, maybe 12mg liquid lorazepam drinking right now. I won't have long to mix my sn drinks because I'm already having a hard time standing and remembering things lol.

Hopefully you aren't too out of it by the time you take SN.

 

[SVEN]

We're still with you in spirit, even when you can't manage the keyboard. Stay centred.

 

[toofargone6969]

God damn. I just made my sn drinks and took a little sips for fun. Its sooo salty my god. Downing this in one go will be the biggest challenge of the night. It mixed very well in 50ml of water, but still very strong. I got my altoids on deck and a plain water bottle to rinse my mouth out, it seems to help. I'll down the first SN glass soon. Just vibing to some music and waiting for the liquid benzos to knock me on my ass.