Games Clichés

[Dr Iron Arc]

R: I hate forcing myself into a sleep schedule. No matter when I sleep I just awful when I wake up anyway so I'd rather be asleep forever.

C: Have you considered purchasing a treadmill?

 

[nolongerhuman]

R. I see you one treadmill and raise you walking around in nature which is objectively better. It soothes but it's like putting numbing cream on an infected wound. It doesn't hurt so bad for a while but it is still sadly infected.

C. Perhaps you need to start thinking about somebody other than yourself for awhile; they say charity is the best medicine.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

R: Charity won't wash away my sins so long as my motivations remain corrupt. Doing good deeds purely for the sake of canceling out bad ones doesn't count so I'd still be evil and I would have wasted my effort.

C: Just lay off the sugar and junk food. Have you ever tried a gluten free diet?

 

[nolongerhuman]

R. If you can explain to me using facts grounded in biology and neuroscience how a gluten free diet will cure my anxiety I'll think about it. Until then I'm going to nom on as much pasta and as many breaded chicken wings as I feel like.

C. It has been scientifically proven that faking it until you make it actually works

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

R: Then pretend to like sucking my dick until you actually like it, start now.

C: Start playing a musical instrument, let your creativity flow!

 

[nolongerhuman]

R. I promise you, whatever non-medical solution you propose for solving my emotional problems I have tried at least at least one. I used to have piano lessons regularly. I was in recitals and even sat for a few piano guild auditions. Didn't do too bad either. Still wanted to die.

C. It's all in your head, you could feel better if you tired.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

R: I'm sure that it's all in my head but it's never going to get out of my head. Nothing I've tried has ever really given me the motivation to continue trying and the few things I want to try but have yet to try are beyond my reach anyway. You might as well be asking me to change the way I see the color purple.

C: Why don't you go to a third world country and see what real suffering looks like, ya big baby?

 

[WhatDoesTheFoxSay?]

C: Why don't you go to a third world country and see what real suffering looks like, ya big baby?

R: There's no need to, silly. Google does the job just fine. What's your point, anyway? Holding a contest to see who's been dealt the worst hand in life?

C: Grow up. (To me this is the worst offender.)

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

R: I'm already 27 years old. My brain has literally stopped developing. It's all downhill from here and I'm already on the ground. (I get this one a lot too lol)

C: Have you tried acupuncture?

 

[WhatDoesTheFoxSay?]

C: Have you tried acupuncture?

R: I have. However, becoming a literal human pincushion did little to relieve my aching, swollen joints. (True story)

@Dr Iron Arc Gosh, I'm also 27 this year. I'm in the prime of my youth, but I've never felt more unfit for life.

C: You gotta love yourself!

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

R: I'm not forgiving that asshole. He's mean to me all the time so why should I be forced to love someone who treats me like garbage? Are you condoning abuse? I can't even tolerate having him around and you wanna let him get away with all the horrible things he's said/done/thought? Yikes.

C: Think of how much your funeral will have to cost your loved ones. Coffins and cremations are expensive.

 

[LittleBabyNothing]

R: All covered, already paid for direct cremation.

C: This too shall pass

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

R: This, for me, is what happens to depression, negative thoughts, and bad life events when they try to pass:

C: Be the change you want to see in the world.

 

[nolongerhuman]

R. The world actually isn't the problem, whatever the hall is wrong with me is.

C. Where there is life, there is hope

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

R: I mean having hope in me is like hoping in the exact event that unicorns will pop out of the ground and shit gold to give to everyone this causing an economy of overinflation that eventually evens up and causes universal basic income to be peacefully established for everyone in the entire world even those remote tribes that have isolated themselves. Good for you if that's what you hope for but life isn't like that.

C: Have you tried signing up for Tinder?

 

[nolongerhuman]

R. Tried Tindr and OKcupid, the interactions I got were disappointing. Regardless, as much as I'd like a partner I'm not sure I want to burden then with my terminally depressed ass.

C. Keep calm and carry on

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

R: I'm too tired to carry on. I'd rather somebody carry me. If no one will then just leave me to die in peace.

C: If you kill yourself, you allow evil to win. You should stay around to fight it.

 

[deflationary]

R:

Yeah, nah.

C: Suicide is for cowards

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

R: Good thing I'm a coward then.

C: Step outside and just get some fresh air. Maybe count to ten while you're at it.

 

[deflationary]

R: OMG, it worked! Thanks, doc, couldn't have done it without you.

C: You only have one life, make the most of it!

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

R: I've already done most of what I want to do that's in the realm of possibility so I should be allowed to end my life once I'm done.

C: Go to a mirror, look at yourself dead in the eye and say positive things to yourself!

 

[deflationary]

R: You're too good for this world, deflationary!

C: You haven't tried everything!

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

R: I've tried almost everything I need to. Everything else either doesn't interest me, terrifies me, or is so impossible that I'll never get to try it even if I want to.

C: The sun will come out again.

 

[nolongerhuman]

R. Yes, and nothing will be new under it.

C. Don't destroy what you can't create

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

R: I'd destroy thousands of lives if it meant it could guarantee my happiness so are you really sure I shouldn't be destroyed first? I can create harm but I'm not gonna be able to destroy it once it's out there.

C: You were put here for a reason.

 

[WhatDoesTheFoxSay?]

C: You were put here for a reason.

R: Then what is that reason, pray tell? I need answers, not questions. Don't bring me problems, bring me solutions.

C: Pain is weakness leaving the body.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

R: Then you're gonna love this...

C: What goes down must come up, this too shall pass, you're not alone!

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

R: Actually the laws of gravity prove that as long as we're standing on earth, most substances can only fall down and it takes way too much energy to make certain things rise off the ground. Even if this passes, it's just gonna come back to continue to wear me down. I may not be alone but most of the people I feel less alone with are also suicidal yet that would probably freak you out.

C: Cope.

 

[WhatDoesTheFoxSay?]

R: Actually the laws of gravity prove that as long as we're standing on earth, most substances can only fall down and it takes way too much energy to make certain things rise off the ground. Even if this passes, it's just gonna come back to continue to wear me down. I may not be alone but most of the people I feel less alone with are also suicidal yet that would probably freak you out.

C: Cope.

R:

R: Then you're gonna love this...

@GenesAndEnvironment Go get 'em! Every last one of 'em!


C: Surround yourself with positive people.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

R: Yeah, no. Positive people are guaranteed to just make me feel even worse about myself at the very least, for not being able to share in their positivity.

C: Just Do It!