Venting about to be sectioned?

[Praestat_Mori]

I hope u r ok. I'm sorry you have to go inpatient. I hope they treat you well and you'll be released soon. Good luck

 

[kittyswift]

Thinking of you today. Hope you're ok x

You've been on my mind too. How are you doing? I was so shocked and gutted when I saw your update yesterday but also impressed by your attitude because when I was forced to go I didn't handle it well at all. Hope you're doing alright

im trying to manage it. have gone crazy spending loads of money on clothes, toiletries, shoes without shoelaces etc
it doesn't really feel real, i think thats why im coping alright with it *currently*. the ward closest to me (which i assume is the ward im going to, but really i could end up anywhere) has a rule saying no smartphones or laptops etc!! only allowed a basic phone that cant access the internet to call and text people. im picturing a nokia!! absolutely dreadful. hopefully i can be in and out of there quite fast but i wont get my hopes up because of how these things work. trying to be positive but im also sooooo pissed off.

thank you for thinking of me and asking how things are

I hope u r ok. I'm sorry you have to go inpatient. I hope they treat you well and you'll be released soon. Good luck

im alright at the moment :) im sorry too, i really didnt want any of this. but hopefully things cant get much worse! thank you for the good luck

 

[Ash]

Blimey - I thought the ward I was on was dictatorial for not allowing us to charge our devices in our rooms (we had to take everything to the office )

Sounds like you're much better organised that I was. I panicked in the end and ended up taking 12 packs of tissues but no body wash or soap

And I'll say it again: CLEAN PANTS!

 

[Kit1]

kittyswift, I have been thinking of you as well - hoping that you are okay? If wishes alone can make sure you are okay - for all the people friends wishing for you here, you should be okay (if only this was enough to make it true).., Sending you lots of best wishes and hugs. Take care.

Blimey - I thought the ward I was on was dictatorial for not allowing us to charge our devices in our rooms (we had to take everything to the office )

Sounds like you're much better organised that I was. I panicked in the end and ended up taking 12 packs of tissues but no body wash or soap

And I'll say it again: CLEAN PANTS!

Ash, you do speak from experience! Mind you - the tissues provided by hospitals are not great either..,

 

[4.I.2.Must.Die]

im trying to manage it. have gone crazy spending loads of money on clothes, toiletries, shoes without shoelaces etc
it doesn't really feel real, i think thats why im coping alright with it *currently*. the ward closest to me (which i assume is the ward im going to, but really i could end up anywhere) has a rule saying no smartphones or laptops etc!! only allowed a basic phone that cant access the internet to call and text people. im picturing a nokia!! absolutely dreadful. hopefully i can be in and out of there quite fast but i wont get my hopes up because of how these things work. trying to be positive but im also sooooo pissed off.

thank you for thinking of me and asking how things are

im alright at the moment :) im sorry too, i really didnt want any of this. but hopefully things cant get much worse! thank you for the good luck

We'll see when you get out (and you've gotten through a thousand reactions, quotes and PMs on here) if you feel the psych ward has given you a new lease on life and you move to the recovery board or if like @Mi Mi mi mi mi mi you're just more focused on dying and in your case @kittyswift I wonder if that's your previous method or SN. I hope you don't feel too distressed on there.

 

[Mi Mi]

Best wishes
Go to groups
Never say you better
Say feeling hopeful
Don't be overly happy but don't be cut off
You'll be out in no time

 

[kittyswift]

Blimey - I thought the ward I was on was dictatorial for not allowing us to charge our devices in our rooms (we had to take everything to the office )

Sounds like you're much better organised that I was. I panicked in the end and ended up taking 12 packs of tissues but no body wash or soap

And I'll say it again: CLEAN PANTS!

yes! clean pants! i have 20 new pairs packed and ready to go

kittyswift, I have been thinking of you as well - hoping that you are okay? If wishes alone can make sure you are okay - for all the people friends wishing for you here, you should be okay (if only this was enough to make it true).., Sending you lots of best wishes and hugs. Take care.

Ash, you do speak from experience! Mind you - the tissues provided by hospitals are not great either..,

all the wishes and kind words are definitely making me feel like this is just a little blip that i can get past. im quite sure that when i get out i will just continue with my planning to ctb but if anything somehow gives me new hope in life then i will welcome that too

We'll see when you get out (and you've gotten through a thousand reactions, quotes and PMs on here) if you feel the psych ward has given you a new lease on life and you move to the recovery board or if like @Mi Mi mi mi mi mi you're just more focused on dying and in your case @kittyswift I wonder if that's your previous method or SN. I hope you don't feel too distressed on there.

SN seems to look more promising to me now that i have a source. its just wether i actually get my order despite BBC, law enforcement or customs interference. i will definitely learn from my failed attempts too- like going to a secluded area so i wont be found and "saved". but anyway, first ill have to fake my way out of this mess

Best wishes
Go to groups
Never say you better
Say feeling hopeful
Don't be overly happy but don't be cut off
You'll be out in no time

thank you so much ill follow that advice very closely

 

[ConfusedClouds]

Well done for being organised and also being able to voice your frustrations and nerves. Good luck and I hope there is at least some benefit to the process and things go smoothly as they can.

 

[Tesha]

Friday you were panicking about the possibility of being detained.

Today you're taking it in your stride!

You've got this - best wishes for your 'stay'!

 

[rozeske]

Wishing you the best kitty, you got this! I hope the missions out come ends up being in your favour

 

[kittyswift]

Friday you were panicking about the possibility of being detained.

Today you're taking it in your stride!

You've got this - best wishes for your 'stay'!

i know its crazy im so up and down!

Wishing you the best kitty, you got this! I hope the missions out come ends up being in your favour

thank you so much

Well done for being organised and also being able to voice your frustrations and nerves. Good luck and I hope there is at least some benefit to the process and things go smoothly as they can.

thank you i am half panicking and stressed and half trying to occupy myself by organising everything i can

well heres Another update: yet another phone call to say they have no idea where im going or when it will be! when i asked if he has any idea of when they will have a bed for me he said it could be 24 hours notice or up to MONTHS!! absolutely crazy. i have to have a suitcase packed incase it is 24 hours notice but my packed suitcase could also just be sat there for months? a friend made a comment of saying if i need such an emergency admission how on earth are they saying it could be months until i get a bed?? but that being said, im glad to be waiting at home rather than in general hospital

 

[Ash]

Another update: yet another phone call to say they have no idea where im going or when it will be! when i asked if he has any idea of when they will have a bed for me he said it could be 24 hours notice or up to MONTHS!! absolutely crazy. i have to have a suitcase packed incase it is 24 hours notice but my packed suitcase could also just be sat there for months? a friend made a comment of saying if i need such an emergency admission how on earth are they saying it could be months until i get a bed?? but that being said, im glad to be waiting at home rather than in general hospital

Ah balls. Sounds about right though. There's a massive bed shortage. Fingers crossed something comes up soon as the waiting is horrendous.

 

[Toobrokentofix]

i know its crazy im so up and down!

thank you so much

thank you i am half panicking and stressed and half trying to occupy myself by organising everything i can

well heres Another update: yet another phone call to say they have no idea where im going or when it will be! when i asked if he has any idea of when they will have a bed for me he said it could be 24 hours notice or up to MONTHS!! absolutely crazy. i have to have a suitcase packed incase it is 24 hours notice but my packed suitcase could also just be sat there for months? a friend made a comment of saying if i need such an emergency admission how on earth are they saying it could be months until i get a bed?? but that being said, im glad to be waiting at home rather than in general hospital

That's good that you're at home! Though really quite ludicrous that they said you could be waiting months considering they're concerned about your safety!! I spent 3 weeks waiting on a general ward. It was awful. Worse than the psych ward.

 

[Kit1]

I am glad that the fire brigade doesn't get called out for an emergency and keep the country waiting.., Just doesn't make sense. Why would medics raise someone's anxiety level so much, pretty much take away that sense of empowerment and then walk away leaving a vulnerable person in such a fragile position. Is this a power trip? Don't have a switch to freeze any safety concerns? And we are the people whobare supposed to be the ones with issues!!?
Apologies for the rant, kittyswift. Please try and keep your cool as you will need to be discharged as soon as possible - from whenever the fire brigade shows up.

 

[Ash]

Trouble is, the people who make the assessment decisions aren't in control of what beds are available or where. They identify the need and then it's triaged and the dire shortages are down to years of chronic underfunding. It's the same with the other emergency services. Hell, it's the same with non emergency services, too. And to be fair to the people working "on the front line", it's the part of their job that causes huge amounts of frustration, stress and distress. When I was waiting to go in and there was a screw up with the transport, the night manager started off being reasonable, then firm, but as it went on and on and on, couldn't help but let her professional mask slip and said several swears before apologising profusely. At one point she says she have to ring me back and when she did, 5 or 10 minutes later, she sounded much calmer. I think she went to the toilet to scream, cry, hit the door or possibly all of the above!

 

[kittyswift]

Trouble is, the people who make the assessment decisions aren't in control of what beds are available or where. They identify the need and then it's triaged and the dire shortages are down to years of chronic underfunding. It's the same with the other emergency services. Hell, it's the same with non emergency services, too. And to be fair to the people working "on the front line", it's the part of their job that causes huge amounts of frustration, stress and distress. When I was waiting to go in and there was a screw up with the transport, the night manager started off being reasonable, then firm, but as it went on and on and on, couldn't help but let her professional mask slip and said several swears before apologising profusely. At one point she says she have to ring me back and when she did, 5 or 10 minutes later, she sounded much calmer. I think she went to the toilet to scream, cry, hit the door or possibly all of the above!

yeah its difficult having all this frustration and anger but its not *their* fault. not really sure where to direct it? i wish i could let it go but sadly i am a person with grudges lol

 

[Ash]

Make a note of your experiences and write to your MP afterwards?

I was going to do a big complaint to PALS about some things that went wrong with the transport, but I lost the momentum and I feel pretty rubbish about that as it might happen to someone else. But if you can hold onto that fire, use it for good!

 

[Kit1]

Time for me to own up. I actually work within public services - not NHS. I spend a lot of time getting my teeth and getting upset for my vulnerable clients and lot more time fighting for their rights - the cut backs, staffing issues, under investments are always the challenges. Though I get really angry with the NHS and other services, it is actually the system that controls it that I get angry with. Speaking from personal experience, I know that my colleagues and I spend a lot of time trying to help our clients/fellow citizens and we get screamed at and abused quite a bit - we have learnt not to take it personally as often people don't realise that we ourselves are seething about the same injustices but just cannot share our feelings and thoughts out loud. But I do have a problem with people being left frustrated and anxious - managing expectations is very important especially when we work with people who are vulnerable. And often members of the public as well as the systems that we work within forget that staff also can be vulnerable in our own right.

 

[Ash]

Time for me to own up. I actually work within public services - not NHS. I spend a lot of time getting my teeth and getting upset for my vulnerable clients and lot more time fighting for their rights - the cut backs, staffing issues, under investments are always the challenges. Though I get really angry with the NHS and other services, it is actually the system that controls it that I get angry with. Speaking from personal experience, I know that my colleagues and I spend a lot of time trying to help our clients/fellow citizens and we get screamed at and abused quite a bit - we have learnt not to take it personally as often people don't realise that we ourselves are seething about the same injustices but just cannot share our feelings and thoughts out loud. But I do have a problem with people being left frustrated and anxious - managing expectations is very important especially when we work with people who are vulnerable. And often members of the public as well as the systems that we work within forget that staff also can be vulnerable in our own right.

Thank you for all your work. I hate it when I get frustrated with the person as it's usually the system at fault (apart from the nurse who belittled me for self harming) and I always apologise if I feel I've not respected the person behind the job. My GP surgery now has a warning about staff abuse on their telephone service and they've kept up all the barriers and screens from the pandemic so I can't imagine what the receptionists have to deal with. It's too easy to blame the person in front of us, and although MH will always need a greater leeway, in general we the public need to do better in how we treat people. I worked in retail for years and lost count of the number of times I was sworn at and abused for ridiculous things like running of mince pies on Christmas Eve!

Anyway, sorry for derailing the thread.

Keep us updated, @kittyswift

 

[kittyswift]

Thank you for all your work. I hate it when I get frustrated with the person as it's usually the system at fault (apart from the nurse who belittled me for self harming) and I always apologise if I feel I've not respected the person behind the job. My GP surgery now has a warning about staff abuse on their telephone service and they've kept up all the barriers and screens from the pandemic so I can't imagine what the receptionists have to deal with. It's too easy to blame the person in front of us, and although MH will always need a greater leeway, in general we the public need to do better in how we treat people. I worked in retail for years and lost count of the number of times I was sworn at and abused for ridiculous things like running of mince pies on Christmas Eve!

Anyway, sorry for derailing the thread.

Keep us updated, @kittyswift

no new updates for now.

i agree, i always feel awful complaining to people in services when it isnt directly their fault and they have no power in it. but where do i go with this frustration? i have written to my MP in the past about a separate issue- and had no response. it all feels hopeless and like nothing will ever change. this may just be me being a pessimist but it feels like that everybody who has the power to do something to help these services and patient care simply cant be bothered, are incompetent or do not care at all! but again, that might just be my experiences and i know it doesn't speak for everyone who works in public services. its so hard.

 

[amra81nz]

I'm glad you get to be at home. I'm about to go to therapist at hospital and they are probably going to put me in the psych ward here.

 

[Ash]

Are you getting offered any support while you wait?

 

[kittyswift]

I'm glad you get to be at home. I'm about to go to therapist at hospital and they are probably going to put me in the psych ward here.

oh no :( im sorry to hear that

Are you getting offered any support while you wait?

nope ! absolutely nothing

 

[Ash]

oh no :( im sorry to hear that

nope ! absolutely nothing

FFS!

 

[Redleaf1992]

The whole thing just shows how broken the MH system is in the UK.

'We're gonna lock you away because we don't think your safe to be outside unsupervised…that said we gonna leave you outside with plenty of time to CBT with no support…look foward to seeing you in 1-100 days'.

 

[kittyswift]

UPDATE!! im being admitted tomorrow morning. have switched my sim card to a trap phone as smartphones and laptops are not permitted. the lady who did my assessment seemed very nice. im so nervous. i can only communicate with people via phone number and even my phone time is limited as part of my treatment? im not sure when ill be able to use this site next. i will be active tonight. i am going informally but may be sectioned depending on how my risk changes. i hope the people are nice there

 

[bunny_brownie9]

UPDATE!! im being admitted tomorrow morning. have switched my sim card to a trap phone as smartphones and laptops are not permitted. the lady who did my assessment seemed very nice. im so nervous. i can only communicate with people via phone number and even my phone time is limited as part of my treatment?

at least you weren't waiting for too long :) are you nervous?

 

[kittyswift]

at least you weren't waiting for too long :) are you nervous?

very! im glad its sooner rather than later because more waiting would make me more agitated. it being my first admission and an admission regardless feels very daunting but im trying to be positive. i will give it a chance to see if i can be helped. if not- ill smile and cooperate until i can be discharged asap and can continue with my plans to exit

 

[Ash]

I was so intimidated by everyone when I went in but they were all lovely.

Hope all goes well x

 

[kittyswift]

I was so intimidated by everyone when I went in but they were all lovely.

Hope all goes well x

thank you xx