Women’s Space Peer Support Megathread

[Lookingtoflyfree]

Is anyone else here autistic or suffers from PCOS? I feel like I was both mentally and physically fucked over in my chances of socialising with people. Aside from not having any good male role models in my life n all the traumatic things, the way men (throughout high school, college, etc) treat me for being an unattractive and autistic woman has made me lose desire for a heterosexual relationship. Assuming that there was any in the first place. I've found it difficult to mask and fit in with any of my male or female peers for my entire life to the point where I just think there's no point living in a world where you need to socialise to survive.

autism (and being AuDHD) is ruining my life. It's not just the trauma from relationships - this thing never goes away. I'm starting to realize how much of the pain in my life is tied to having this brain and I feel trapped. I see why unaliving is a choice for so many of us. After decades it's just exhausting. It's hard enough under capitalism but combining that and how ableist and horrible most people are - it's too much.

 

[OutOfThisBody]

Idk why people say women are more supported with mental health problems (especially comsidering most are shamed and considered crazy bitches for having mental illness) because my parents didn't help me with my anxiety and depression when I presented those as a kid, they didn't even know that's what it was, and I realised I had to figure it out my mental problems on my own. Which meant alot of suppression. I even looked up anxiety online once and showed them it and said maybe I have anxiety and my mom just acted upset and like if I didn't mention the problem it didn't exist. Which really helped. And meant I didn't go to other people for help on that front anymore for a long time.

 

[ConfusedClouds]

PMDD: anyone who has this...

Do you have like an immediate sense of feeling lighter (mentally) at all the moment you actually start your period?

It doesn't happen every cycle but occasionally I have some of my worst outbursts and am stubbornly continuing being a dickhead for days until suddenly one day when I come on and almost instantaneously things feel calmer and I can barely see back to how or why I was acting and reacting as I was.

Its the fact is so irregular (the outbursts) that I have written off PMDD before but the level at which I suddenly calmed down and cleared up last night has really confused me. And thats kinda been a similar case after some big outbursts in recent years. Or at least its the closest thing to a 'pattern' or 'reason' that I can pick up on...

Any input/ideas/experiences very welcome

 

[sunbleachedfliess]

PMDD: anyone who has this...

Do you have like an immediate sense of feeling lighter (mentally) at all the moment you actually start your period?

It doesn't happen every cycle but occasionally I have some of my worst outbursts and am stubbornly continuing being a dickhead for days until suddenly one day when I come on and almost instantaneously things feel calmer and I can barely see back to how or why I was acting and reacting as I was.

Its the fact is so irregular (the outbursts) that I have written off PMDD before but the level at which I suddenly calmed down and cleared up last night has really confused me. And thats kinda been a similar case after some big outbursts in recent years. Or at least its the closest thing to a 'pattern' or 'reason' that I can pick up on...

Any input/ideas/experiences very welcome

yep, i sometimes immediately feel better once i get my period and i go insane for 2 weeks beforehand. i wouldn't write off PMDD as the cause tbh, i haven't been diagnosed but i suspect that's what i have as well

 

[Whale_bones]

PMDD: anyone who has this...

Do you have like an immediate sense of feeling lighter (mentally) at all the moment you actually start your period?

I don't have PMDD, but even I have an immediate easing of symptoms when my period finally starts. All my worst symptoms build and build, then when it starts it's like a fever finally breaking. Kind of like my body is now doing what it's supposed to and I can get somewhat back to normal.

These are physical sensations for me, but I think any intense experience your body is going through has an inevitable effect on your mental experience as well. And like I say this is without PMDD, so I can only imagine how much harder it is to deal with then

 

[ConfusedClouds]

Thanks so much for the replies! Thats so comforting to hear your experiences.

I don't (knowingly) have PMDD but wondered if my experience fitted along those lines. I thankfully very very rarely have physical symptoms in my cycle (and then only very very slight). And this mental 'relief'/build up/absolute tantrum has only seemed to be at this heightened level infrequently, yet my cycle itself is fairly regular. So I am not sure how that works that symptoms might be so significantly different month on month. I have been trying to track my cycle for over 5 years trying to see if this is a pattern that 'fits' as an explanation but it really doesn't show up to me. So frustrating something so 'routine'/'regular' might not be at all.

Any further insights and experiences always welcome

---

Also anyone else find it kind of embarrassing not understanding their own cycle? I'm mid 30s and still barely making sense of any of it. That's near on 20 years of monthly 'cycles' that surely I would be familiar with by now. (Though maybe 2-3 years with various pills and 9 years of (3 x back-to-back) implants to mix it up too - but now nothing for 2+ years and although I'm more regular than ever, the symptoms just don't match up still either)

Made even worse if I encounter people (or content) where comments are thrown around like 'you will know your own body' or 'whats normal for you'. And even more embarrassment where someone much younger is all confident about their routine/cycle/affects etc, especially when I've tried tracking (including symptoms) and theres just too many variables for anything to add up. Chicken and egg/cause and effect - can never tell.

 

[idelttoilfsadness21]

I hate that I wanna try again for love or sex when my libido and emotions are high... I like this new guy in the place I'm hot and he talked to me yesterday while helping me out with a situation, yet I feel this around guys in general, and he looked his best yesterday, as I have seen him the past week and didn't seen him before until today. I don't know if I should ask him for sex since im not in the mood to date anyone, yet I truly feel like it could work with me and him, but I look like a toad and hate that I look like a boy :((

He's so damn cute too... What should I do

Also, hello, girls... I'm new here

Thanks so much for the replies! Thats so comforting to hear your experiences.

I don't (knowingly) have PMDD but wondered if my experience fitted along those lines. I thankfully very very rarely have physical symptoms in my cycle (and then only very very slight). And this mental 'relief'/build up/absolute tantrum has only seemed to be at this heightened level infrequently, yet my cycle itself is fairly regular. So I am not sure how that works that symptoms might be so significantly different month on month. I have been trying to track my cycle for over 5 years trying to see if this is a pattern that 'fits' as an explanation but it really doesn't show up to me. So frustrating something so 'routine'/'regular' might not be at all.

Any further insights and experiences always welcome
Also anyone else find it kind of embarrassing not understanding their own cycle? I'm mid 30s and still barely making sense of any of it. That's near on 20 years of monthly 'cycles' that surely I would be familiar with by now. (Though maybe 2-3 years with various pills and 9 years of (3 x back-to-back) implants to mix it up too - but now nothing for 2+ years and although I'm more regular than ever, the symptoms just don't match up still either)

Made even worse if I encounter people (or content) where comments are thrown around like 'you will know your own body' or 'whats normal for you'. And even more embarrassment where someone much younger is all confident about their routine/cycle/affects etc, especially when I've tried tracking (including symptoms) and theres just too many variables for anything to add up. Chicken and egg/cause and effect - can never tell.

Lol, nope... I never understood how to count my periods when it first came (loved my own experiences though), and even at 21, I still feel like I will personally never get it or it being irregular

I'm so sorry btw, you've struggled through this I wish I knew what to say and to share :((

 

[Whale_bones]

I don't (knowingly) have PMDD but wondered if my experience fitted along those lines.

I don't know enough about PMDD to offer any advice, but I know the effects are very intense and real, so I think it's definitely something to consider. You could ask your doctor if you have one you feel comfortable talking to, and hopefully others here can answer as well!

Also anyone else find it kind of embarrassing not understanding their own cycle? I'm mid 30s and still barely making sense of any of it. That's near on 20 years of monthly 'cycles' that surely I would be familiar with by now. (Though maybe 2-3 years with various pills and 9 years of (3 x back-to-back) implants to mix it up too - but now nothing for 2+ years and although I'm more regular than ever, the symptoms just don't match up still either)

Oh 100%! I'm in my mid-30s as well, my period symptoms have always been variable, I think it's a reality for a lot of people, it's just not talked about very much! I've also had changes where my body never "went back" to how it used to be, like after pregnancy, after a particular type of BC, etc. Even though the expectation seems to be that things will return to how they used to be after you're done, it just hasn't worked like that for me.

And I know exactly what you mean about phrases like "you will know your own body". I think for some people it's natural that things line up for them, they feel in tune with it. But it's just as natural to not feel natural about it, if that makes sense, it's an uncomfortable, sometimes intense, sometimes downright painful thing our bodies are going through. There's no shame for those that feel in tune with their body, but there's also no shame for those of us that feel like a mess during it

 

[Silently Dying]

What a great idea! I'm 63 yo new here hoping to make a friend before I ctb

 

[ConfusedClouds]

You could ask your doctor if you have one you feel comfortable talking to, and hopefully others here can answer as well!

Sadly I dont have a gp (nightmare to register anywhere where I am), and also the main thing thats prevented me bothering bringing it up is the thought that they'd send me away to go track it all and make notes to help them spot a pattern and I've been unable to do that.

I guess if I have another few 'clear cut' examples like this month it could be worth taking that forward. Its just they don't happen frequently nor predictably so would just be wasting the gp time 'I think I have this thing but its less often than I don't have it - it sucks, but by the time I'd realise its 'a thing' (or by the time I'd get an appt), its all over after a few days or week or two and all is ok again naturally'

What a great idea! I'm 63 yo new here hoping to make a friend before I ctb

Welcome!!

 

[Blueberry Panic]

I have moments of ptsd from being raped and from my ex boyfriends death . It's hard to live when you turn agoraphobic and you can't get out of bed.

 

[grapevoid]

PMDD: anyone who has this...

Do you have like an immediate sense of feeling lighter (mentally) at all the moment you actually start your period?

It doesn't happen every cycle but occasionally I have some of my worst outbursts and am stubbornly continuing being a dickhead for days until suddenly one day when I come on and almost instantaneously things feel calmer and I can barely see back to how or why I was acting and reacting as I was.

Its the fact is so irregular (the outbursts) that I have written off PMDD before but the level at which I suddenly calmed down and cleared up last night has really confused me. And thats kinda been a similar case after some big outbursts in recent years. Or at least its the closest thing to a 'pattern' or 'reason' that I can pick up on...

Any input/ideas/experiences very welcome

Every.single.month. For me, the week before my period is awful, in time it has become unbearable and I believe it's the main basis of my depression. I think the endless cycle has worn on me over time. I started a birth control that has eased the symptoms a little bit. But the week before my period, I am so suicidal and sad and completely out of control. I think there is a high probability I will eventually ctb during that week, even though I have a lot of things planned out it will be mostly erratically due to how low I get right before my period.

Thanks so much for the replies! Thats so comforting to hear your experiences.

I don't (knowingly) have PMDD but wondered if my experience fitted along those lines. I thankfully very very rarely have physical symptoms in my cycle (and then only very very slight). And this mental 'relief'/build up/absolute tantrum has only seemed to be at this heightened level infrequently, yet my cycle itself is fairly regular. So I am not sure how that works that symptoms might be so significantly different month on month. I have been trying to track my cycle for over 5 years trying to see if this is a pattern that 'fits' as an explanation but it really doesn't show up to me. So frustrating something so 'routine'/'regular' might not be at all.

Any further insights and experiences always welcome

---

Also anyone else find it kind of embarrassing not understanding their own cycle? I'm mid 30s and still barely making sense of any of it. That's near on 20 years of monthly 'cycles' that surely I would be familiar with by now. (Though maybe 2-3 years with various pills and 9 years of (3 x back-to-back) implants to mix it up too - but now nothing for 2+ years and although I'm more regular than ever, the symptoms just don't match up still either)

Made even worse if I encounter people (or content) where comments are thrown around like 'you will know your own body' or 'whats normal for you'. And even more embarrassment where someone much younger is all confident about their routine/cycle/affects etc, especially when I've tried tracking (including symptoms) and theres just too many variables for anything to add up. Chicken and egg/cause and effect - can never tell.

Your hormones change with age as well, so it's not fair to expect woman to just know. My periods were like clockwork, always light, very easy with close to no symptoms until around age 31 (I just turned 36) and since then they have been completely unmanageable and often times not exactly on schedule coming up to a week early and even up to 10 days late. I track it religiously to try to control my mental break down that comes every month before my period to no avail

 

[YandereMikuMistress]

 

[KariNya]

It's unreasonable to expect a hug from my husband when i feel like shit (and it's quite evident)? Or that at least that he lisents to me? And not to be told "and you are sad only because of that"? I am autistic and i have an anxiety disorder, and he knows that. At least he doesn"t hit me anymore i guess...

View attachment 160551

Oh how i wish i was a lesbian and not bisexual cis men are horrible

 

[Lookingtoflyfree]

It's unreasonable to expect a hug from my husband when i feel like shit (and it's quite evident)? Or that at least that he lisents to me? And not to be told "and you are sad only because of that"? I am autistic and i have an anxiety disorder, and he knows that. At least he doesn"t hit me anymore i guess...

Oh how i wish i was a lesbian and not bisexual cis men are horrible

He hits you? Are you in danger?

 

[RinneOfAragon]

Every.single.month. For me, the week before my period is awful, in time it has become unbearable and I believe it's the main basis of my depression. I think the endless cycle has worn on me over time. I started a birth control that has eased the symptoms a little bit. But the week before my period, I am so suicidal and sad and completely out of control. I think there is a high probability I will eventually ctb during that week, even though I have a lot of things planned out it will be mostly erratically due to how low I get right before my period.

Your hormones change with age as well, so it's not fair to expect woman to just know. My periods were like clockwork, always light, very easy with close to no symptoms until around age 31 (I just turned 36) and since then they have been completely unmanageable and often times not exactly on schedule coming up to a week early and even up to 10 days late. I track it religiously to try to control my mental break down that comes every month before my period to no avail

This! I have PCOS its a nightmare . physically and mentally exhausting

 

[YandereMikuMistress]

Being told to just basically shut the fuck up and be quiet while I listin to my partner on the phone with there friends and there friends are only talking about there hate for women rn first talking about how women have better support then how women are all whores and think like men?! What and then how they aren't? Like they aren't smarter and can't be smarter then men when women fear speaking up more then men do so they are therefore less smart apparently then talked about how they run on fear and that's just how they were made thenn going on to talk about pulling up a picture of a girl and just quote "just rape her pull up a picture of some girl and just use a a wooden pole and smash it"

I hate being a women.

 

[Whale_bones]

Being told to just basically shut the fuck up and be quiet while I listin to my partner on the phone with there friends and there friends are only talking about there hate for women...

There's no right way to be a woman in the minds of sexist men. Women are too slutty or they're a frigid bitch. Too bossy (smart) or they're dumb. Too bold or too quiet, too skinny or too fat, too this or too that. Men that think like that only care about how they can use a woman to make them feel better about themselves. They don't see us as human beings and they're constantly caught in their contradictions because women are both objects of desire and objects of hatred.

It's awful that you had to sit there and hear that garbage. If you can't get away from your partner, I hope you can atleast get some space from him when he's spewing this stuff. I know it's near impossible to be unaffected by that when someone who's supposed to care for you is the one agreeing with and adding to it. But being a women makes you absolutely NONE of the bullshit stuff they said. I know it's just from the internet, but we got your back

 

[YandereMikuMistress]

these grotesque views on women in porn and in fashion and throughout time just about anywhere you look you can see it, billboards, you name it, but all these toxicities that only keep building up and becoming worse are seemingly encouraging men to infantilize women and fetishize kids clothing and school uniforms by following Sigmund Freud's idea with his psychological concept "the Madonna-whore complex" it effects both men and women negatively, why must somthing like that even come about,, I'm crazy so it doesn't matter if I think this but its because women have always been viewed in such a way that disregards them as people, they are viewed in a way that's disrespectful and inhumane.
How tf do we think blackmail not long ago was one of porn hubs top categorys they where only forced to take that category away due to the growing controversy towards it throughout the years those videos may have started off as fake role plays but without a doubt they started to become real videos depicting blackmail, there's even OF bots that promote being barely legal and boasting about how much it just "makes sense" that a seventeen year old and eighteen year old would want to be with 30-50 year olds, and bam another form of promoting paedophilia,,and my god the whole thing with the "barley legal" stuff stems from porn hub to begin with and well it definitely got its influence from the old barely legal magazines the magazine was created by a women tho she was 24 at the time and we don't know how her life was at the time or how she was but anyhow L. F. P., Inc. was the ones who published the magazines and Gail Harris the 24 year old was also featured in a few of the magazines apparently, andd L. F. P., Inc. is an American independent business enterprise that owns manages and operates the adult entertainment businesses founded by American entrepreneur Larry Flynt, things like hustler tv and larry flynt's hustler club an moree but I will stop now bc I can go on and on and I can't even open my mouth without being called a a radical feminist when I mention things like this

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

these grotesque views on women in porn and in fashion and throughout time just about anywhere you look you can see it, billboards, you name it, but all these toxicities that only keep building up and becoming worse are seemingly encouraging men to infantilize women and fetishize kids clothing and school uniforms by following Sigmund Freud's idea with his psychological concept "the Madonna-whore complex" it effects both men and women negatively, why must somthing like that even come about,, I'm crazy so it doesn't matter if I think this but its because women have always been viewed in such a way that disregards them as people, they are viewed in a way that's disrespectful and inhumane.
How tf do we think blackmail not long ago was one of porn hubs top categorys they where only forced to take that category away due to the growing controversy towards it throughout the years those videos may have started off as fake role plays but without a doubt they started to become real videos depicting blackmail, there's even OF bots that promote being barely legal and boasting about how much it just "makes sense" that a seventeen year old and eighteen year old would want to be with 30-50 year olds, and bam another form of promoting paedophilia,,and my god the whole thing with the "barley legal" stuff stems from porn hub to begin with and well it definitely got its influence from the old barely legal magazines the magazine was created by a women tho she was 24 at the time and we don't know how her life was at the time or how she was but anyhow L. F. P., Inc. was the ones who published the magazines and Gail Harris the 24 year old was also featured in a few of the magazines apparently, andd L. F. P., Inc. is an American independent business enterprise that owns manages and operates the adult entertainment businesses founded by American entrepreneur Larry Flynt, things like hustler tv and larry flynt's hustler club an moree but I will stop now bc I can go on and on and I can't even open my mouth without being called a a radical feminist when I mention things like this

Oh my god I was just thinking about all this today and getting really riled up about it, it makes me so mad thinking about how every man I will ever have a relationship with has not only watched women being degraded, assaulted, and tormented, but has taken pleasure from it. How are we supposed to just live with that fact, especially knowing that there is no separation between me and the woman undergoing that treatment? She is just like me, and I am just like her. And as a fellow human being, what hurts her, hurts me. I can't believe that all this is just accepted as "normal" these days, and as you said, you're considered a "radical" for finding it repugnant. Men who stopped watching porn have even admitted that the way they interacted with women changed because they no longer saw us as agency-less means-to-an-end. Obviously men being depraved in their sexual appetites is nothing new but porn has just amplified that by 5000% and allowed them to shamelessly, effortlessly, and limitlessly indulge in perversions that once would have been considered unacceptable in society. I think it's ruined the sexuality of an entire generation (or two) of both men and women.

 

[YandereMikuMistress]

Was scrolling through Facebook and came across this video of a girl filming herself doing pranks on her dad when making him food.

To many act as if Its are duty to cook for are parents or relatives an family members plus clean up after them, and it's all just expected, especially of women when it comes to cooking though that's funny when men dominate the cooking industry, though it's not because there "better" it's because women are more so raised to stay put take care of others especially family and that's not bad but it's factual women are generally raised to be "homely" and it's also not fair when these expectations are not at all expected as much of the opposite sex and cooking is obviously one of countless things. I'm just ranting but I don't know how much longer I can just keep holding it all together everyday

 

[ConfusedClouds]

Thats such a valid 'hidden in plain sight' example. Women cook at home but men dominate the cheffing world. Urgh.

 

[YandereMikuMistress]

Idk if any of you where ever raised this way or had this kind of thought process around you growing up like my brothers and all the older men and women have said a similar line pertaining to love and it's that "a women has to love more then a man or the relationship doesn't work"
,,, tsk,
how self-righteous does one have to be to claim that to be true,

 

[LivingANDDying26]

Didn't know the thread existed until today and glad to see it/read it.

 

[YandereMikuMistress]

I hope we can all agree that little incel I won't fully specify who but if you know you know, time and time again reasoning and understanding goes in one ear and out the other, he is disturbingly fucked in the head when it comes to accountability and recognition for there own actions, we can agree to disagree but hes a danger to women.

 

[YandereMikuMistress]

And slowly I start to hate my own gender, I don't but just are biology, I don't want to hate it but you know people like this who live in the world only make my hate for myself worse, and worse,, listing to the things they say beside me or when I'm not there or just the way they fuckin treat you, a complete outsider, just a vision, a vision of whatever they decide in that given time to see you as, because your personality doesn't matter until it spoils there fantasized version of you, calm quite, doesn't yell, unemotional, resilient, homely, timid but Bursts of confidence, smiles and cooking and cleaning and fucking and pampering and washing clothes and wiping there face like a mother does to a new born god these common expectations directed towards women is just degrading, listing to the lack of respect and acknowledgement to many man have makes me fear and makes me just want to give in and just say " fucking kill me then because your lack of disregard for me and other women will be the death of me, just kill me"
And then might I not feel like such an inadequate inhumane subservient inferior waste of space, because that is how you make me feel, sometimes to a point where I don't even question the lack of humanity that is offered to me because it is so fucking ingrained in us all to fall back, convincing ourselves we have to be hiding or hidden to have peace, peace for not ourselves but for men,
I hate waking up everyday, I hate listing to my brothers and there friends friends dehumanizing women so casually, so nonchalantly, my partners friends and there friends friends,, four court cases for assault against women one has, and god the one who knows how uncomfortable it makes you does it more to make you feel even less humane showing you videos of drugged out half naked women getting shit thrown at them and kicked and laughed at and they show me this and my partner with a smile and laugh, I looked fearful my partner is indifferent with there reactions to there friends and relatives behavior,,, ugh being forced to listen to the riveting details of his friends conquests, every little detail inside and out,, "I made sure to feel that IUD" while looking at me with a smile followed by cursing at his mom for singing in the kitchen "shut the fuck up bitch you sound terrible" type comments,,
I have no significant females in my life personally and it's a little sad,, you know how many guys will fight for there opinion and what they deem to be true to them,, i couldn't compete, I could never compete,, if I had to bring myself to many of men's levels by using my fists to prove my point, I will never be able to do that, not that I'd want to but it's the fact that no matter what I know I can't,, because hey howdy! my life is just a perpetual loop of fear by this point.

 

[Whydid]

 

[JesiBel]

Idk if any of you where ever raised this way or had this kind of thought process around you growing up like my brothers and all the older men and women have said a similar line pertaining to love and it's that "a women has to love more then a man or the relationship doesn't work"
,,, tsk,
how self-righteous does one have to be to claim that to be true,

I'm sorry to hear that. I think it's completely misguided. Although I've never been in a relationship, I believe a relationship is based on love and mutual respect. If one of you has to work harder to please the other or keep the bond stable... it's because the other party isn't interested.

Why should one give more than the other? Just because of gender? No, it's absurd.

 

[YandereMikuMistress]

Spoiler: TW: DV footage

I can't help but feel bad for that women hitting the other women.

 

[YandereMikuMistress]

I can complain here, un like in real life not that it feel right to complain either way but right now I do not care,, birthday was shit, having to be back in the town I wanted to escape to was shit, potentially moving back there in the future bc my partner wants to is SHIT, fooled myself into believing I'd be rescued and whisked away , alone, just was such a reality check, that my life is nothing but a test to see how far I'll fall to the bottom of the conformative barrel,, I watched a series not to long ago called "Asura" it revolves around four sisters in 1979 Japan whose lives are thrown into turmoil when their father's affair is revealed. The discovery of the affair leads to a cascade of revelations and conflicts within the family, forcing the sisters to confront their own lives and relationships. The series explores themes of family, love, and societal expectations through the lens of these four sisters. There's a line that stuck with me throughout it and that sad line translates into my real life so frequently and Its going to fucking kill me sooner or later, it will.

"Is living-- getting by without making waves really how women stay happy,
these days, I can't help but wonder."


https://www.facebook.com/share/r/1ATtJVSL7z/


I did want to say that the one comment in this video how many women hear about "guys/men" not wanting virgins is far from true in my experience, sorry I was fucked around with as a child my bad gang..

The fascination of purity is all that intrigues these pig like men and then they snuff it out and then the initial intrigue is gone.

I'm aware it's definitely not all men but tsk we gotta acknowledge that there's to many to confidently differentiate the good from bad, though then again I'm just crazy, I know.