Women’s Space Peer Support Megathread

[Lookingtoflyfree]

I feel you, I've been feeling so needy/clingy today. I hope it goes away. I almost never feel this because I always isolate myself. Must be PMS doing its thing though :/

I'm curious how our cycle affects when we isolate. I've used a few period apps and it just usually says 'youre going to be bloaty and tired', but think I have PMDD and my cycle feels more severe

 

[almost-there]

Hi!

I'm in my 20's and I was wondering if any of you also have a worst mental health during your period. I am kind of stable during the rest of the cycle, but during those 3 days my mind just collapses. I get worst and it's so hard to do anything. The suicide thoughts get so so hard and repetitive. And I am somewhat impulse, so I'm 90% sure that if I overcome SI it will be during my period when I'm on my lowest.

So, I wanted to know if any of you also experience this, and If so, do you do something to avoid it or reduce it? And, even if you don't experience it, what activities makes you happy/relax/confortable/etc? I'm just finding solutions to avoid thinking so hard about killing myself during those days.

English is not my first language, so, sorry if something didn't make sense. Let me know and I will fix it.

 

[astr4]

Hi!

I'm in my 20's and I was wondering if any of you also have a worst mental health during your period. I am kind of stable during the rest of the cycle, but during those 3 days my mind just collapses. I get worst and it's so hard to do anything. The suicide thoughts get so so hard and repetitive. And I am somewhat impulse, so I'm 90% sure that if I overcome SI it will be during my period when I'm on my lowest.

So, I wanted to know if any of you also experience this, and If so, do you do something to avoid it or reduce it? And, even if you don't experience it, what activities makes you happy/relax/confortable/etc? I'm just finding solutions to avoid thinking so hard about killing myself during those days.

English is not my first language, so, sorry if something didn't make sense. Let me know and I will fix it.

i noticed these past two months when i was off my birth control that i was much moodier and more agitated, especially the week before my period.

honestly, if it's extremely bad, it might be worth using birth control of some sort to just stop getting your periods altogether; that's what i normally do because i find getting my period annoying. if it's making you more suicidal that's an even better reason to take it, tbh, although i understand hormones might be a little intimidating.

(some info if you want: https://www.letstalkaboutit.nhs.uk/media/whrl3ibq/continuous-combined-pill-taking.pdf)

 

[protector_iorek]

Does anyone want to CTB because of misogyny and male violence against women?

I've never had a genuinely good male in my life. My father was absent and neglectful and then cheated on my mother. My mother then got sick with cancer when I was 13 and my father abandoned her. Which, if you've read statistics about sick women or terminally ill women, you know this is par for the course as most of the time when a woman is seriously ill her husband/boyfriend leaves her. My brother went MIA and left me and went no contact with everyone in the family, leaving me behind with the abuse and having to take on the burdens of everything. I never did anything harmful to him as his sister. I thought we were close but I guess he doesn't give a shit about me. It's been almost 15 years since I've seen him. I thought older brothers were supposed to care for their younger sisters, but I guess not.

Every romantic relationship I've been in has been abusive, manipulative or exploitative. Men whom I thought loved me like I loved them were just using me for sex, attention or resources (money or rides, when they didn't have their own vehicles). I've been raped by my partners multiple times.

The dating scene is horrible. Men will lie and say anything they think you want to hear in order to get you to let your defenses fall so they can get sex out of you. I've noticed they parrot your mannerisms and opinions as their own to get you to trust them. Often I've been on dates where men hardly say anything at all and then they try to kiss me or initiate sex at the end of the date. There have been times I thought I was getting to the point of trusting a man enough to initiate some sexual contact, only to have them take advantage of that situation and try to force me. Or if I said I wanted to stop or I don't want to do XYZ sex act, they've become angry and tantrum-y. One time a man told me outright "I would've never taken you out or invited you here if I'd known you were going to say no to sex." There are probably men here reading this who get off on these stories; so I'll just leave it and say this is just a handful of things that have happened to me.

I am heterosexual and have a lot of love to give, but I truly believe I am just a target of abuse to men. I don't know if I believe there is anyone out there for me. I have chosen to be alone forever because I don't trust anyone, let alone a man. How can they be so cruel and uncaring and selfish? I don't understand.

Ill never find or feel love, so I might as well just die.

Then there's the global oppression and suffering women experience around the world. Women and girls are the primary targets of rape, child sex abuse, child marriage, human and child trafficking, etc. Women are the only people who birth their very own oppressors, and (if you're het) are attracted to their oppressors. Women are suffering at the hands of male control, violence, religious law, or sexual exploitation right now all around the world. And the worst part is being gaslit about it. As if "sex work" is a good thing when tne
majority of prostitutes want to leave but can't because they can't afford it, they're being controlled by a pimp or being trafficked, they're suffering from addiction, or they can't afford to leave prostitution behind because they have no skills or education to do anything else. Then people turn around and act like "sex work" is empowering, when globally we know that's not true in the vast majority of cases and women are suffering and dying young because of sexual abuse and exploitation.

How am I supposed to live in a world that hates me for existing and I'm inherently a second class citizen?

Then there's existing as an ugly or fat woman. I've struggled with obesity my whole life and then got diagnosed with binge eating disorder. I'm an "unfuckable" woman so I'm even less worthy of help, attention, affection or even a glance from anyone in society. I don't want to be alive if my worth is attached to my appearance, and that's life for women. You're only worth anything if you're thin, young and attractive.

Fuckk this piece of shit world. I don't want to be here. All I see is misogyny and lack of humanity. I fucking hate it here. And I'm tired of being gaslit about the extent of hatred of women. "Well aKSHuaLly…" I don't fucking care. It takes 2 seconds to google statistics about violence against women and know that what I've said above is true. But somehow there's always someone coming along to try a "what about the men" or to try to smooth it all over like it's no big deal.

I'm hated for existing as a woman. Since society wants me gone anyway, I'll just do the dirty work and take my own self out.

 

[sevennn]

Does anyone want to CTB because of misogyny and male violence against women?

I've never had a genuinely good male in my life. My father was absent and neglectful and then cheated on my mother. My mother then got sick with cancer when I was 13 and my father abandoned her. Which, if you've read statistics about sick women or terminally ill women, you know this is par for the course as most of the time when a woman is seriously ill her husband/boyfriend leaves her. My brother went MIA and left me and went no contact with everyone in the family, leaving me behind with the abuse and having to take on the burdens of everything. I never did anything harmful to him as his sister. I thought we were close but I guess he doesn't give a shit about me. It's been almost 15 years since I've seen him. I thought older brothers were supposed to care for their younger sisters, but I guess not.

Every romantic relationship I've been in has been abusive, manipulative or exploitative. Men whom I thought loved me like I loved them were just using me for sex, attention or resources (money or rides, when they didn't have their own vehicles). I've been raped by my partners multiple times.

The dating scene is horrible. Men will lie and say anything they think you want to hear in order to get you to let your defenses fall so they can get sex out of you. I've noticed they parrot your mannerisms and opinions as their own to get you to trust them. Often I've been on dates where men hardly say anything at all and then they try to kiss me or initiate sex at the end of the date. There have been times I thought I was getting to the point of trusting a man enough to initiate some sexual contact, only to have them take advantage of that situation and try to force me. Or if I said I wanted to stop or I don't want to do XYZ sex act, they've become angry and tantrum-y. One time a man told me outright "I would've never taken you out or invited you here if I'd known you were going to say no to sex." There are probably men here reading this who get off on these stories; so I'll just leave it and say this is just a handful of things that have happened to me.

I am heterosexual and have a lot of love to give, but I truly believe I am just a target of abuse to men. I don't know if I believe there is anyone out there for me. I have chosen to be alone forever because I don't trust anyone, let alone a man. How can they be so cruel and uncaring and selfish? I don't understand.

Ill never find or feel love, so I might as well just die.

Then there's the global oppression and suffering women experience around the world. Women and girls are the primary targets of rape, child sex abuse, child marriage, human and child trafficking, etc. Women are the only people who birth their very own oppressors, and (if you're het) are attracted to their oppressors. Women are suffering at the hands of male control, violence, religious law, or sexual exploitation right now all around the world. And the worst part is being gaslit about it. As if "sex work" is a good thing when tne
majority of prostitutes want to leave but can't because they can't afford it, they're being controlled by a pimp or being trafficked, they're suffering from addiction, or they can't afford to leave prostitution behind because they have no skills or education to do anything else. Then people turn around and act like "sex work" is empowering, when globally we know that's not true in the vast majority of cases and women are suffering and dying young because of sexual abuse and exploitation.

How am I supposed to live in a world that hates me for existing and I'm inherently a second class citizen?

Then there's existing as an ugly or fat woman. I've struggled with obesity my whole life and then got diagnosed with binge eating disorder. I'm an "unfuckable" woman so I'm even less worthy of help, attention, affection or even a glance from anyone in society. I don't want to be alive if my worth is attached to my appearance, and that's life for women. You're only worth anything if you're thin, young and attractive.

Fuckk this piece of shit world. I don't want to be here. All I see is misogyny and lack of humanity. I fucking hate it here. And I'm tired of being gaslit about the extent of hatred of women. "Well aKSHuaLly…" I don't fucking care. It takes 2 seconds to google statistics about violence against women and know that what I've said above is true. But somehow there's always someone coming along to try a "what about the men" or to try to smooth it all over like it's no big deal.

I'm hated for existing as a woman. Since society wants me gone anyway, I'll just do the dirty work and take my own self out.

agree with you. feel the same. it's disgusting and horrifying how much they hate us for no reason. psychopaths

 

[Lookingtoflyfree]

Hi!

I'm in my 20's and I was wondering if any of you also have a worst mental health during your period. I am kind of stable during the rest of the cycle, but during those 3 days my mind just collapses. I get worst and it's so hard to do anything. The suicide thoughts get so so hard and repetitive. And I am somewhat impulse, so I'm 90% sure that if I overcome SI it will be during my period when I'm on my lowest.

So, I wanted to know if any of you also experience this, and If so, do you do something to avoid it or reduce it? And, even if you don't experience it, what activities makes you happy/relax/confortable/etc? I'm just finding solutions to avoid thinking so hard about killing myself during those days.

English is not my first language, so, sorry if something didn't make sense. Let me know and I will fix it.

There's something called PMDD worth looking into. I wish I could say I have better ways to cope but I'm here and in pretty bad burnout. I do exercise and meditate which can help a great deal, but it's very very hard to be a woman right now.

 

[Dot]

 

[Lookingtoflyfree]

I am afraid of most men. Trauma has stolen my sense of trust from the abuse. I feel scared all the time. It's why I'm not afraid to die anymore. Can't have nightmares when you're dead

 

[CTB Dream]

Me no want intrct human also spcfc no want male, rly now many many atk hars talk agrsv me rly disabl no wrd brain ,come scum agrsv hurt me, ya this truth see me injury damage womn all come atk me same anml mnstr

 

[RosebyAnyName]

Got "triggered" again.

I wanted to try and get into reading more, so I thought I'd look into the Bridgerton book series out of curiosity. However, the consensus is that the books are terrible, and the netflix adaptation is better.

The series, created by a man (Chris Van Dusen), is considered better than the books, which were written by a woman (Julia Quinn). Which reminded me of that horrible Velma show that was heavily panned was mostly produced by a woman (Mindy Kaling), while the original Scooby-Doo was created by two men (Joe Ruby and Ken Spears). Which reminded me that the original Rugrats show was created by a couple, and the man is considered the "real creator" while the woman had "bad ideas that made the show worse."

I want to get into writing and/or animation, but I can't help but feel like I'm doomed because I'm AFAB. There are no AFAB creators in my field to look up to, they're all either men, or "women who can't write." I really don't want to believe it, but I'm starting to think that women aren't good at anything. They're heavily underrepresented in every field of study, artform, and leadership role that matters, even after multiple decades of equal opportunity. I wish I could be seen as more than a sexdoll, since that's my only value as a person anyways given what I've seen in the real world.

 

[EternalShore]

Got "triggered" again.

I wanted to try and get into reading more, so I thought I'd look into the Bridgerton book series out of curiosity. However, the consensus is that the books are terrible, and the netflix adaptation is better.

The series, created by a man (Chris Van Dusen), is considered better than the books, which were written by a woman (Julia Quinn). Which reminded me of that horrible Velma show that was heavily panned was mostly produced by a woman (Mindy Kaling), while the original Scooby-Doo was created by two men (Joe Ruby and Ken Spears). Which reminded me that the original Rugrats show was created by a couple, and the man is considered the "real creator" while the woman had "bad ideas that made the show worse."

I want to get into writing and/or animation, but I can't help but feel like I'm doomed because I'm AFAB. There are no AFAB creators in my field to look up to, they're all either men, or "women who can't write." I really don't want to believe it, but I'm starting to think that women aren't good at anything. They're heavily underrepresented in every field of study, artform, and leadership role that matters, even after multiple decades of equal opportunity. I wish I could be seen as more than a sexdoll, since that's my only value as a person anyways given what I've seen in the real world.

I'm sorry to hear that you're upset about that~ :( Most people in the field I'm in (education) tend to be women including the college professors who teach us everything~ and also, sure, a lot of media made by women might not be great, but that applies for men as well as men have created the majority of the worst films ever made~ On the other hand, I know that I've read a lot of good books, and a lot of them are made by women like Agatha Christie, Harper Lee, or Yuki Midorikawa~ As long as you're able to make quality content, come up with creative ideas, and given the opportunity; I'm sure you'll be able to do well in animation and/or writing too in spite of your fears! ^_^

 

[RosebyAnyName]

I'm sorry to hear that you're upset about that~ :( Most people in the field I'm in (education) tend to be women including the college professors who teach us everything~ and also, sure, a lot of media made by women might not be great, but that applies for men as well as men have created the majority of the worst films ever made~ On the other hand, I know that I've read a lot of good books, and a lot of them are made by women like Agatha Christie, Harper Lee, or Yuki Midorikawa~ As long as you're able to make quality content, come up with creative ideas, and given the opportunity; I'm sure you'll be able to do well in animation and/or writing too in spite of your fears! ^_^

Thanks, and thanks for the book recommendations as well! I feel a bit better now.

 

[lnlybnny]

I also never had a good experience with men, I think I learned it since my childhood when my father went away to live his life and emotionally neglected me; I feel they always disappoint you in the end no matter what.

 

[Dot]

Got "triggered" again.

I wanted to try and get into reading more, so I thought I'd look into the Bridgerton book series out of curiosity. However, the consensus is that the books are terrible, and the netflix adaptation is better.

The series, created by a man (Chris Van Dusen), is considered better than the books, which were written by a woman (Julia Quinn). Which reminded me of that horrible Velma show that was heavily panned was mostly produced by a woman (Mindy Kaling), while the original Scooby-Doo was created by two men (Joe Ruby and Ken Spears). Which reminded me that the original Rugrats show was created by a couple, and the man is considered the "real creator" while the woman had "bad ideas that made the show worse."

I want to get into writing and/or animation, but I can't help but feel like I'm doomed because I'm AFAB. There are no AFAB creators in my field to look up to, they're all either men, or "women who can't write." I really don't want to believe it, but I'm starting to think that women aren't good at anything. They're heavily underrepresented in every field of study, artform, and leadership role that matters, even after multiple decades of equal opportunity. I wish I could be seen as more than a sexdoll, since that's my only value as a person anyways given what I've seen in the real world.

Jne Austn = knwn as 1 of th/ mst memrble authrs in histry

Franknstein - 1 of wrld mst wll-knwn hrror stries - ws writtn b/ womn

JK Rowlng - dsregardng th/ TERF contrvrsies - wrte 1 of th/ biggst frnchises in histry

Agtha Chrstie Poirot ws on par wth Shrlock Hlmes in sccess & qualty

& tht = nt includng all th/ womn wh/ submittd thr wrk undr mle pn-nmes bcse of sexsm in th/ indstry

 

[NoPoint2Life]

do you all do preventative healthcare? I am asking the females because I feel like there is more for us to be preventative about. I am talking breast exams, Pap smears, even regular healthcare like just getting a physical.

I would think for many of us this might be conflicting or is it just me? I obviously don't want to suffer and/or have a long, agonizing death,but then at the same time I have sick thoughts that if it's something bad and could possibly kill me, why bother?
I'm 44 so at this point, I should be doing mammograms which I've never done and next year is when I should start colonoscopies. Because of that I am now really starting to limit my doctor visits
( except for psychiatrist). The only one I go to is the dentist every six months lol.

Usually, the only thing that gets me to the doctor is being in extreme pain but now I feel like I have to avoid even my regular doctor because he's going to bring up all the tests I should be having at my age or send me to a specialist for something unrelated like if blood work comes back odd and they're going to talk about all the tests I should get

 

[Lookingtoflyfree]

do you all do preventative healthcare? I am asking the females because I feel like there is more for us to be preventative about. I am talking breast exams, Pap smears, even regular healthcare like just getting a physical.

I would think for many of us this might be conflicting or is it just me? I obviously don't want to suffer and/or have a long, agonizing death,but then at the same time I have sick thoughts that if it's something bad and could possibly kill me, why bother?
I'm 44 so at this point, I should be doing mammograms which I've never done and next year is when I should start colonoscopies. Because of that I am now really starting to limit my doctor visits
( except for psychiatrist). The only one I go to is the dentist every six months lol.

Usually, the only thing that gets me to the doctor is being in extreme pain but now I feel like I have to avoid even my regular doctor because he's going to bring up all the tests I should be having at my age or send me to a specialist for something unrelated like if blood work comes back odd and they're going to talk about all the tests I should get

I try to do as much as I can but have some medical trauma. The good thing is if you are healthy you only need a colonoscopy every 10 years. The mammogram is important to get. But I feel you - the experiences eel dreadful. I feel like they give me the tests I don't need and won't give the the tests I do need and I feel I have no doctors who listen to me.

 

[Goosechan]

There's something called PMDD worth looking into.

I just stumbled upon this place, in part because PMDD makes me wanna CTB like clockwork every month. It's truely a debilitating and understudied condition. Obviously I have lived experience, but I've also read a lot about it too so feel free to ping me with any questions or if anyone here wants someone to relate to that. I wanna be comforting and helpful for however long I will still be around.

I want to get into writing and/or animation, but I can't help but feel like I'm doomed because I'm AFAB. There are no AFAB creators in my field to look up to, they're all either men, or "women who can't write."

Seconding the recommendations given in the thread and I wanted to add Korean writers Min Jin Lee (I enjoyed Pachinko tremendously and while the Apple TV adaptation is good it doesn't come close to the book) and recent nobel laureate Han Kang. I'm currently reading some sorta YA hsitorical fantasy by Australian-Asian Shelley Parker-Chan and that is very entertaining, albeit a bit campy too. But KlI guess that comes with YA. And of course going for the classics there is Lousia May Alcott's Little Women too, that even deals with the themes of being a woman in a man world through the character Jo March.

 

[sunbleachedfliess]

I just stumbled upon this place, in part because PMDD makes me wanna CTB like clockwork every month. It's truely a debilitating and understudied condition. Obviously I have lived experience, but I've also read a lot about it too so feel free to ping me with any questions or if anyone here wants someone to relate to that. I wanna be comforting and helpful for however long I will still be around.

Seconding the recommendations given in the thread and I wanted to add Korean writers Min Jin Lee (I enjoyed Pachinko tremendously and while the Apple TV adaptation is good it doesn't come close to the book) and recent nobel laureate Han Kang. I'm currently reading some sorta YA hsitorical fantasy by Australian-Asian Shelley Parker-Chan and that is very entertaining, albeit a bit campy too. But KlI guess that comes with YA. And of course going for the classics there is Lousia May Alcott's Little Women too, that even deals with the themes of being a woman in a man world through the character Jo March.

on the topic of PMDD, there's a growing amount of research that taking antihistamines during that time can lessen suicidal feelings and mood swings, i'm low on spoons so i can't find sources right now but i know there is info on reddit about this if anyone is interested!

 

[Lookingtoflyfree]

Between hormones and neurodivergence and loneliness it's just been an awful couple of years and I just want to end. I have never felt so isolated and fearful. I have a few things I really want to do (like travel) but just feel so much like my life has fallen apart and may never work again and I'm so scared of the future.

 

[RosebyAnyName]

I'm so tired of misogyny, I can't go anywhere anymore without being reminded of my inferiority as a female. Every comment, video, etc. I see where people cry about how women (fictional or otherwise) won't look like 18 year old supermodels with giant boobs and a tiny waist, or how women who don't get into a traditional marriage "deserve" to be r/ped, or how women only exist to make men happy, all of these beliefs and values I see now just makes me think: "this is why my misandry is justified." Men, and the women who worship them, don't just deserve my distrust, they've earned it entirely through their own self-admitted beliefs. Beliefs which they hold proudly and openly, only to then get surprised that other women are exiting the dating pool en masse.

I couldn't even search up this megathread without accidentally stumbling upon a slew of anti-female ragebait posts on this site. Being born female to me means being hated under all circumstances. I will never be loved as a person, only as a body that can be r/ped.

 

[RosebyAnyName]

I wanted to start using a paper notebook, so I started looking at the ones I already had lying around because it didn't feel right to buy a new one right away when I could re-use ones I already had.

I found an old dream journal, and the first page contained the name of the boy who r/ped me, and the dream itself was about me throwing a knife at myself so I could ctb. I would have been 14 years old when I wrote that entry. Although I guess I'm not allowed to use the word "r/pe" because it wasn't "really r/pe" according to people in my life irl. Reading the entry made me spiral so badly just remembering his name and all the memories that followed.