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autism (and being AuDHD) is ruining my life. It's not just the trauma from relationships - this thing never goes away. I'm starting to realize how much of the pain in my life is tied to having this brain and I feel trapped. I see why unaliving is a choice for so many of us. After decades it's just exhausting. It's hard enough under capitalism but combining that and how ableist and horrible most people are - it's too much.
yep, i sometimes immediately feel better once i get my period and i go insane for 2 weeks beforehand. i wouldn't write off PMDD as the cause tbh, i haven't been diagnosed but i suspect that's what i have as well
Thanks so much for the replies! Thats so comforting to hear your experiences.
I don't (knowingly) have PMDD but wondered if my experience fitted along those lines. I thankfully very very rarely have physical symptoms in my cycle (and then only very very slight). And this mental 'relief'/build up/absolute tantrum has only seemed to be at this heightened level infrequently, yet my cycle itself is fairly regular. So I am not sure how that works that symptoms might be so significantly different month on month. I have been trying to track my cycle for over 5 years trying to see if this is a pattern that 'fits' as an explanation but it really doesn't show up to me. So frustrating something so 'routine'/'regular' might not be at all.
Any further insights and experiences always welcome
Also anyone else find it kind of embarrassing not understanding their own cycle? I'm mid 30s and still barely making sense of any of it. That's near on 20 years of monthly 'cycles' that surely I would be familiar with by now. (Though maybe 2-3 years with various pills and 9 years of (3 x back-to-back) implants to mix it up too - but now nothing for 2+ years and although I'm more regular than ever, the symptoms just don't match up still either)
Made even worse if I encounter people (or content) where comments are thrown around like 'you will know your own body' or 'whats normal for you'. And even more embarrassment where someone much younger is all confident about their routine/cycle/affects etc, especially when I've tried tracking (including symptoms) and theres just too many variables for anything to add up. Chicken and egg/cause and effect - can never tell.
I wish I knew what to say and to share :((
Also anyone else find it kind of embarrassing not understanding their own cycle? I'm mid 30s and still barely making sense of any of it. That's near on 20 years of monthly 'cycles' that surely I would be familiar with by now. (Though maybe 2-3 years with various pills and 9 years of (3 x back-to-back) implants to mix it up too - but now nothing for 2+ years and although I'm more regular than ever, the symptoms just don't match up still either)
Welcome!!
Every.single.month. For me, the week before my period is awful, in time it has become unbearable and I believe it's the main basis of my depression. I think the endless cycle has worn on me over time. I started a birth control that has eased the symptoms a little bit. But the week before my period, I am so suicidal and sad and completely out of control. I think there is a high probability I will eventually ctb during that week, even though I have a lot of things planned out it will be mostly erratically due to how low I get right before my period.
Your hormones change with age as well, so it's not fair to expect woman to just know. My periods were like clockwork, always light, very easy with close to no symptoms until around age 31 (I just turned 36) and since then they have been completely unmanageable and often times not exactly on schedule coming up to a week early and even up to 10 days late. I track it religiously to try to control my mental break down that comes every month before my period to no availThanks so much for the replies! Thats so comforting to hear your experiences.
I don't (knowingly) have PMDD but wondered if my experience fitted along those lines. I thankfully very very rarely have physical symptoms in my cycle (and then only very very slight). And this mental 'relief'/build up/absolute tantrum has only seemed to be at this heightened level infrequently, yet my cycle itself is fairly regular. So I am not sure how that works that symptoms might be so significantly different month on month. I have been trying to track my cycle for over 5 years trying to see if this is a pattern that 'fits' as an explanation but it really doesn't show up to me. So frustrating something so 'routine'/'regular' might not be at all.
Any further insights and experiences always welcome
Also anyone else find it kind of embarrassing not understanding their own cycle? I'm mid 30s and still barely making sense of any of it. That's near on 20 years of monthly 'cycles' that surely I would be familiar with by now. (Though maybe 2-3 years with various pills and 9 years of (3 x back-to-back) implants to mix it up too - but now nothing for 2+ years and although I'm more regular than ever, the symptoms just don't match up still either)
Made even worse if I encounter people (or content) where comments are thrown around like 'you will know your own body' or 'whats normal for you'. And even more embarrassment where someone much younger is all confident about their routine/cycle/affects etc, especially when I've tried tracking (including symptoms) and theres just too many variables for anything to add up. Chicken and egg/cause and effect - can never tell.
Oh how i wish i was a lesbian and not bisexual
cis men are horrible
He hits you? Are you in danger?It's unreasonable to expect a hug from my husband when i feel like shit (and it's quite evident)? Or that at least that he lisents to me? And not to be told "and you are sad only because of that"? I am autistic and i have an anxiety disorder, and he knows that. At least he doesn"t hit me anymore i guess...
Oh how i wish i was a lesbian and not bisexual
This! I have PCOS its a nightmareEvery.single.month. For me, the week before my period is awful, in time it has become unbearable and I believe it's the main basis of my depression. I think the endless cycle has worn on me over time. I started a birth control that has eased the symptoms a little bit. But the week before my period, I am so suicidal and sad and completely out of control. I think there is a high probability I will eventually ctb during that week, even though I have a lot of things planned out it will be mostly erratically due to how low I get right before my period.
Your hormones change with age as well, so it's not fair to expect woman to just know. My periods were like clockwork, always light, very easy with close to no symptoms until around age 31 (I just turned 36) and since then they have been completely unmanageable and often times not exactly on schedule coming up to a week early and even up to 10 days late. I track it religiously to try to control my mental break down that comes every month before my period to no avail
. physically and mentally exhausting
