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Jumping_realms

Jumping_realms

★☆★ ☠️★☆★
Jul 4, 2021
483
Yup.

Surprise bitches!!!

Don't act like you care now...
 
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Sra_TZ

Sra_TZ

Walking Disaster
Mar 6, 2021
65
I don't care whether it will be a surprise to my family or colleagues. They never cared anyway and I can imagine them crying crocodile tears for a while and forgetting me just as quick.

To the only person who knows me and loves me, no, it won't be a surprise. Nevertheless, it will hurt her all the same (hardly anything I can do about that). Living for others isn't easy, is it?
~S
 
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D

doesntevenmatter

Member
Aug 12, 2021
64
Nope, I very seriously doubt it will surprise anyone at all lol.
 
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Z

Zvov

Member
Aug 22, 2021
24
I don't think it will be a total surprise. I have come to a few close friends before about the way I feel and think. I do believe more will be surprised than not, but more of a casual surprise like when you hear about some media icon passing away
 
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Dear Agony

Dear Agony

The Void
Jan 24, 2020
296
It won't be a surprise to my family, no. Of course they will be shocked, but I have insinuated suicide multiple times, they know I'm suicidal and we've talked about it a lot, they even forced me inpatient once, so. Surprise? No. Shock? Yes. Suicide is always shocking tho.
My friends/known ones? It will be a surprise to them. I mean I have SH scars and they know I'm mentally ill, but I do not think they know how serious I am about it, since I never had an actual conversation about it with them.
 
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Sprite_Geist

Sprite_Geist

NULL
May 27, 2020
1,595
I really hope not. The last thing that I want is acquaintances and strangers who never bothered with me dancing over my grave.
 
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BreakTheCycle

BreakTheCycle

Life means suffering. Try to break the cycle.
Aug 6, 2021
93
Definitely not.
Been to psych ward because of attempts twice now. All my friends and family know I'm suicidal. They know about the attempts. There`s no way anyone will be surprised.
 
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destiny

destiny

she/her
Aug 21, 2021
29
My partner (I think? we're going through a difficult time) know, has always known about my struggle. I can talk openly about it. She would never try to stop me. Her feelings are not more important than my suffering, as she puts it. I feel like I'm draining her though. Might have been better if she didn't know about my plans.

My therapist also knows. I called him crying while in crisis and he told me he doesn't know how to help me. Guess I'm fucked.

Family doesn't know, although they know about my depression and trauma.
 
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whenlavaflows

whenlavaflows

Member
Sep 21, 2020
86
No, probably not. Although when it does happen I bet a bunch of people will post their bawwws about me and how it was "such a surprise" that it happened.
Yet, i've been quite vocal about my attempts in the past on instagram (deleted all my posts now) and have only received support from one person.
 
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TriggerHappy

TriggerHappy

In the kingdom of th blind; the one-eyed are kings
Jan 24, 2021
1,297
My partner (I think? we're going through a difficult time) know, has always known about my struggle. I can talk openly about it. She would never try to stop me. Her feelings are not more important than my suffering, as she puts it. I feel like I'm draining her though. Might have been better if she didn't know about my plans.

My therapist also knows. I called him crying while in crisis and he told me he doesn't know how to help me. Guess I'm fucked.

Family doesn't know, although they know about my depression and trauma.
I so relate :: I don't know how u manage to negotiate a relationship!
u deserve an award.
when suicide ideation grabs hold of me/ my self destruction develops a psycho personality of its own! / I tend to alienate myself, feeling guilty for getting emotionally heavy rather than hostage taking.
☆ Guns / Shooting / Stars ☆
I ask for help, but inevitably I find therapy insatiable.
So I try keep honest, open-minded and willing (fail miserably with the last of those most of the time) cos "only you can save yourself" (i'm repetitively lectured)
I'm a master manipulator, so I try steer clear of unconsciously turning the people I love into enablers or even worse, fixers.
thanks for your post, a reminder of my madness and how much work I still have to do :: it really hit home.
 
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S

seeking2learn

Member
Aug 18, 2021
51
For me is will be a Sur Prise. For others a surprise, but not a good one.
 
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B

bunnies

Member
Mar 13, 2020
25
when the actual shock of me having passed away is gone, no, nobody will be surprised lol. i have had mental health problems my whole life and was never normal.
 
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keyakizaka

keyakizaka

Member
Apr 25, 2021
28
it shouldn't be a surprise. i've told my family plenty of times that i'll do it. but i know they're still gonna be surprised. because they don't take me seriously at all.
 
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B

Bleunoir

Member
Feb 4, 2020
31
Won't be much of a surprise for those that know me. I reached out so often for help but was ignored even by my close family.
 
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m9q2As2$IG

m9q2As2$IG

Member
Aug 25, 2021
24
It may come as a surprise to some for me. I've been very vocal in saying I have these thoughts, but nobody seems to really fathom the realness of it for me.
 
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WaterHemlock

WaterHemlock

Student
Dec 18, 2019
112
I don't know.
I've spoken about suicide, tried to be open about it. Those friends might be shocked but not surprised.
Then my family, I try to imagine what they'd feel. I don't think that I'm really on their radar. I think they'd miss being able to call me for a ride. And they'd say, if only we had known. But I can't imagine them doing anything different if they really had.
I wonder, what could someone do that would stop you from catching the bus?
 
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RedPanda

RedPanda

One day we shall be free from this mortal coil.
Jul 16, 2019
237
100% yes, nobody knows I'm suicidal. I'm, very good at hiding my feelings.
 
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threadbythread

threadbythread

Member
Jul 31, 2021
11
Probably not for my partner and some friends, I feel the worst thinking about the potential guilt it might cause him. But I also feel sick thinking about the consequences if I continue to live, and how I'll just continue to ruin his life and mental health. My family might be surprised, but they'll probably just make it about themselves somehow.
 
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Versailles

Versailles

Enlightened
Oct 1, 2020
1,647
Probably. I don't think they believe that I will. Hopefully, it won't be a complete surprise.
But the worst thing about it is that they're probably going to blame me or something. Maybe not. Or maybe they're just gonna have another proof of how weak I was.
Have your loved ones constantly pointed out your weaknesses? in my case it bothers them
 
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L

Luonis

Member
Aug 26, 2021
5
I had an attempt already 1 year and 3 months ago, but my family think that this was just a one-time outbreak and that I don't have recurring suicidal thoughts, so I guess it would be a surprise to them.
 
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A_miStake_of_NATURE

A_miStake_of_NATURE

I wish no one had to CTB..........
Aug 14, 2020
703
Have your loved ones constantly pointed out your weaknesses? in my case it bothers them
No, thankfully they don't. They're not bad people. Just can't help me I guess
 
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disasterplant

disasterplant

i crave an ending to this melancholy
Aug 2, 2021
29
Yes. I think so.

I was a bit more open with my suicidal thoughts a few years ago with my mother, but she never took them seriously enough because I was a teenager.

When I was 13 and began having more serious suicidal thoughts, I would constantly joke about it with my friends, y'know the typical "I'm gonna kill myself" type of jokes. I think only a few of my friends actually became concerned, but most of them just went along with it.

Now I've hidden everything quite well. I do exhibit symptoms of depression and anxiety that are noticeable to others, but I never express my suicidal plans or thoughts. I've made most people in my life foolishly think that I have my future planned, that I'm gonna move out and go to college, when the truth is the only thing that's certain in the next year or two is the deathbed I've made for myself.
 
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seeker

seeker

Member
Aug 26, 2021
17
I'm not sure. My family will be surprised, probably, since I don't talk to them too much. My friends, I guess they'll be a little surprised, but will forgot it soon later.
 
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END21_22

END21_22

Member
Jul 21, 2021
6
50/50
My families completely oblivious to the fact that I've despised my life for years, but at the same time I feel they know the isolated lifestyle I lead can in no way be sustainable, so in the end they'll probably piece it all together.
 
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Lmd

Lmd

Elementalist
Jul 12, 2020
812
No, and considering how people treats me I feel bad for tell them.
 
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