Discussion Do you think people will be surprised when you CTB?

[mob]

Not shocked, not sad, but surprised.
Not that it truly matters to anyone after they die, but do you think deep down people would think "Wow, this is sad but given the circumstances, not surprising." ?

For me, I don't think people who know me would be surprised. I'm quite open about my struggles to my friends, though I rarely mentioned the thought of CTB directly (that would have been years ago).
And most of them know about my prior CTB attempts. And something that I get asked a lot from people, even those who don't know about it, is: "Why do you look so sad?" Even if in that moment, I'm not really sad. I guess I just have that look permanently etched into my eyes.
I'm someone who makes it look like that despite my struggles, I still manage to stay positive (and I say that a lot, too) - but the truth is that I've just stopped caring.

But considering the circumstances for the past 6 years, I would say that no one would be surprised about it.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

to me nothing that happens after I die matters

1 microsecond after my brain dies or is destroyed I won't exist and will never exist again

150 years from today every human alive now will be dead and forgotten

 

[mob]

to me nothing that happens after I die matters

1 microsecond after my brain dies or is destroyed I won't exist and will never exist again

Very valid and true viewpoint.

 

[hughmun9]

people were shocked by my first attempt. now I think they low-key expect it.

 

[Pangs93]

Not even slightly. I've been suicidal my entire life and openly suicidal for almost 20 years. I am lucky to have an amazing best friend. We have discussed me CTB at length and he does not want to stop me. He has told me though he will be sad and he will miss me, he will not be mad at me. He supports my decision. My sisters have also told me they won't be mad and that they know how hard life is for me. Though they also contradict this constantly by getting mad at me when I'm more actively suicidal so I really don't know about them.

 

[Forveleth]

I think my parents will be because they know nothing about my mental state. I have straight up told my partner that I no longer want to live and I have one close friend who is aware of how depressed I am. No one else I know probably has any idea of just how deep my depression is.

 

[unluckysadness]

The people who know how I suffer won't be that surprised. But I may be wrong because nobody takes me seriously. They think I can endure this shit more decades.

 

[ilovecats1]

i think they would be. i havent really told anyone but one friend online about it. to be honest i feel like most people in my life wouldnt even believe me i think or would just make fun of me. i had the mistake of doing so in high school to a not so close friend an he got angry at me for even thinking i could do it. also not having any mh diagnoses makes it harder for people to believe as well. i just hope my first one will be the last.