Discussion Do you think people will be surprised when you CTB?

[mob]

Not shocked, not sad, but surprised.
Not that it truly matters to anyone after they die, but do you think deep down people would think "Wow, this is sad but given the circumstances, not surprising." ?

For me, I don't think people who know me would be surprised. I'm quite open about my struggles to my friends, though I rarely mentioned the thought of CTB directly (that would have been years ago).
And most of them know about my prior CTB attempts. And something that I get asked a lot from people, even those who don't know about it, is: "Why do you look so sad?" Even if in that moment, I'm not really sad. I guess I just have that look permanently etched into my eyes.
I'm someone who makes it look like that despite my struggles, I still manage to stay positive (and I say that a lot, too) - but the truth is that I've just stopped caring.

But considering the circumstances for the past 6 years, I would say that no one would be surprised about it.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

to me nothing that happens after I die matters

1 microsecond after my brain dies or is destroyed I won't exist and will never exist again

150 years from today every human alive now will be dead and forgotten

 

[mob]

to me nothing that happens after I die matters

1 microsecond after my brain dies or is destroyed I won't exist and will never exist again

Very valid and true viewpoint.

 

[hughmun9]

people were shocked by my first attempt. now I think they low-key expect it.

 

[Pangs93]

Not even slightly. I've been suicidal my entire life and openly suicidal for almost 20 years. I am lucky to have an amazing best friend. We have discussed me CTB at length and he does not want to stop me. He has told me though he will be sad and he will miss me, he will not be mad at me. He supports my decision. My sisters have also told me they won't be mad and that they know how hard life is for me. Though they also contradict this constantly by getting mad at me when I'm more actively suicidal so I really don't know about them.

 

[Forveleth]

I think my parents will be because they know nothing about my mental state. I have straight up told my partner that I no longer want to live and I have one close friend who is aware of how depressed I am. No one else I know probably has any idea of just how deep my depression is.

 

[unluckysadness]

The people who know how I suffer won't be that surprised. But I may be wrong because nobody takes me seriously. They think I can endure this shit more decades.

 

[ilovecats1]

i think they would be. i havent really told anyone but one friend online about it. to be honest i feel like most people in my life wouldnt even believe me i think or would just make fun of me. i had the mistake of doing so in high school to a not so close friend an he got angry at me for even thinking i could do it. also not having any mh diagnoses makes it harder for people to believe as well. i just hope my first one will be the last.

 

[thelostautistic]

I don't think so

 

[misfit toy]

No. I discussed suicidal ideation with my mom since I was very young. Depression and mental illness are tough on loved ones and friends. The people remaining in my life well not be surprised. A few will be relieved I am sure and I can't blame them.

 

[meowpuppy]

absolutely. my parents are horrible at inferring what i feel or what i want from my body language, hell, they don't even know how to deal with what i say. i think that as long as i don't say the word suicide it'll be a shock

 

[buriedinmyhead]

Irl, yeah. I'm going to school, I'm socializing, I'm doing everything right on paper

 

[SoulWhisperer]

My family will put the most surprised Pikachu face, completely ignoring all the shit they put me through that led to it. "How could it have even be possible!" but my father will call me a loser and say "that shit... I knew it. What an absolute shit" and laugh before moving on. Absolutely ridiculous! My friends will accept it because I have none of them!

 

[lpdsvm]

Maybe they would be surprised. But I think they wouldn't truly get surprised because subconsciously they would know because of failing.
Alone, no support, instantly replaceable, unskilled etc. If they know it then there is not much to be surprised about.

 

[50/50]

Extremly

Nobody knows of my suicidal thoughts

 

[3rdworldsadness]

People would be surprised but they will forget very quickly. I will be a forgotten person just like the millions out there..... and that's alright.

 

[ghostingyou]

i feel like they'd be surprised that my attempt finally worked. i genuinely think the people around me would feel some sort of relief that they won't have to worry about me attempting anymore. especially my mum, there's got to be at least a little bit of relief yk what i mean? she wouldn't have to live in fear not knowing when i'll attempt to kms ever again. the anxiety would end right then and there.

i don't think it would surprise anyone close to me either since i've been depressed and suicidal for god knows how long.

 

[never mind me]

The thing is the people I care for would not even know it. They will just notice that I won't answer messages /calls any more. Probably they will eventually wonder, if something happened to me, but I don't know, if they will think I ctb. Although the friends I stayed with the last few weeks might consider it as they watched me being in quite a bad state.
But the only person who will be notified by the police (and that only after weeks once my corpse starts stinking so much that the smell can be noticed in the house) will be my mother. She would probably not be surprised , because she always expects something negative from me. But she couldn't inform anyone from my social circle as I haven't been in touch with her for years and she doesn't know any of my friends.

 

[girl_with_a_plan]

I don't think a single person other than a family member will notice.

I plan to delete all social media the hours before - both unfriend and just delete the major accounts. I'm sure the one family member might post something on my main account how I've gone, but I truly don't see a single person even noticing. There's no 'will people be surprised' because there are no people.

One of the people I've known for 20 years is clearly never going to be a friend - an acquaintanceship at best. I realize I'm the one who messages him. As an experiment, I didn't message him. I finally after six months sent him a message - thus proving he's not a friend who gives a crap about me. In 6 months to not hear from someone is an indication that they don't actually care anything about you. I have never expected hours long discussions with people, or even to get gifts or hang out in person. But six months of nothing says it all. It's the same with all the other "friends" who are really classmates or coworkers but not actually friends. They're all superficial, users and not worth having in my life.

 

[hexfinaldays?]

tbh it doesnt really matter, i dont have control of their reactions

 

[nails]

nah

 

[calicowolf]

I think my family will be shocked maybe, they know i struggle but i dont think they know the extent of it, people who dont know me well probably think im doing great tho, so they will be shocked
I dont really talk about CTB, sometimes with a friend but not much so i dont think they expect it

 

[Graham.N]

No. I'm on the website at the diner table and people can see my phone. Why should I care? No one depends on me for anything, and my passing would only cause emotional discomfort. It is sad, but it's like a partner staying in a relationship to only make their partner happy.

 

[slowlybreaking]

50/50, the ones surprised would've had faith in me moving on from grief due to how resilient i've seemed to be over the years, the ones that aren't would've thought that the grief really did push me over the edge, which... is actually the case hahah

in any case, i don't really talk about ctb to anyone because i know they'll try to save me when all i want is to be with my dear. i might be acting weird but i won't be admitting it, rest assured that it'll be sudden.

 

[fadedghost]

oh hell no

no one will be surprised, and everyone will be shocked it took so long

 

[rainatthebusstop]

considering how often I talk/joke about it they'd be stupid as fuck to not see it coming.

But then again, my family members aren't the brightest or good at listening at all and my friends are all too self absorbed to not go from "wait, [name] committed suicide?!" to "I can use this for brownie points"

 

[LonelyPrince]

Nobody would be lol. Everyone who knows me knows of my mental illnesses and suicidal ideation.

 

[Canto XIII]

I think they'll be a little surprised that I'll actually have gone through with it, but they know I'm not well and haven't been for most of my life.

 

[Kenny]

My friends would be surprised because I've sort of just withdrawn from all of them for the last few months, however, I've made the mistake of telling my family my struggles and they just use it as another point to abuse me on, so no, they wouldn't be surprised. If anything, some of them would probably be happy.

 

[KatalinaKrimson]

Nah. I've told all my friends about my recent suicide attempt, or at the very least about my depression and suicidal ideation. My family also knows I got 51/50ed recently, so it shouldn't surprise them too much. Plus, I had another suicide attempt 14 years ago.