Discussion Why haven’t you committed yet?

[homesoon.]

I've had suicidal thoughts and ideations of self-harm for about 14-ish years, but I always managed to talk myself out of it (for the most part). Anymore, though, I'm starting to realize that it's really just guilt and fear/survival instinct that's been holding me back.

 

[Chacha]

I am rehearsing and setting a date. This is my only goal in life if my demands are not met.

 

[glitteryaliens]

Cowardice and this false glimmer of hope it will get better. There's some idiotic, childish part of me that thinks I will finally be saved by someone/something and it will give a purpose and blah blah. But no ones coming.

 

[Guy089001]

9 attempts, last was yesterday. Difficult to die peacefully, and at the moment, because I'm pushed in the direction of there being hope during the intermittent periods I'm getting ready to try again. It's like standing at a train station, waiting for a train, getting ready to turn and leave saying "fuck it", but that feeling if you wait for just a few minutes before, it'll come along and you don't have to walk.

 

[straydog]

Lacking an effective/preferred method is the only thing holding me back. My death might upset my family, but I know they'll move on. I don't know where to get SN despite looking for over a year now, guns aren't easy to get where I live, I've failed at hanging myself, and I don't have access to any places to jump from the minimum recommended height. I'm currently scouting out potential train locations and considering drowning - both are far from ideal but they're the only options I have left, it seems.

 

[RawPremadePizza]

Deep down...I want to live and be happy...but the pain of living like this keeps me in a state of confusion and when it gets unbearable I resort back to wanting to die, it's so hard to break the loop, and I get so tired of trying. And when I am deciding to die, I get thrown back by the fear of failing and the pain I'll suffer as I die. It's very complicated.

 

[Chacha]

9 attempts, last was yesterday. Difficult to die peacefully, and at the moment, because I'm pushed in the direction of there being hope during the intermittent periods I'm getting ready to try again. It's like standing at a train station, waiting for a train, getting ready to turn and leave saying "fuck it", but that feeling if you wait for just a few minutes before, it'll come along and you don't have to walk.

Good Luck, there is nothing in this earth only parasites are helped people who really want to be productive are left on their own

Lacking an effective/preferred method is the only thing holding me back. My death might upset my family, but I know they'll move on. I don't know where to get SN despite looking for over a year now, guns aren't easy to get where I live, I've failed at hanging myself, and I don't have access to any places to jump from the minimum recommended height. I'm currently scouting out potential train locations and considering drowning - both are far from ideal but they're the only options I have left, it seems.

Have you think in Medically assisted death for mental illness. I would like to go to Switzerland. This year was supposed to be effective in Canada but the dumb politicians delay for 3 more years. I am working on my death and I would love your suggestions. The isolation is killing me and I want to leave this earth the sooner the better.

Lacking an effective/preferred method is the only thing holding me back. My death might upset my family, but I know they'll move on. I don't know where to get SN despite looking for over a year now, guns aren't easy to get where I live, I've failed at hanging myself, and I don't have access to any places to jump from the minimum recommended height. I'm currently scouting out potential train locations and considering drowning - both are far from ideal but they're the only options I have left, it seems.

Have you think in Medically assisted death for mental illness. I would like to go to Switzerland. This year was supposed to be effective in Canada but the dumb politicians delay for 3 more years. I am working on my death and I would love your suggestions. The isolation is killing me and I want to leave this earth the sooner the better.

 

[henry22]

The only thing holding me back is the pain of dying by the methods available to me.

 

[steppingoff]

Interesting question to ask y'all how long have you all been suicidal for how long have you genuinely considered or planner it and why haven't you gone through with it yet?

Hope? Fear? Lack of resources? Not knowing or having a way to go?

What are your reasons i'm just genuinely curious

It's just a matter of finding the right times and the final courage to do it

 

[Skynights]

Interesting question to ask y'all how long have you all been suicidal for how long have you genuinely considered or planner it and why haven't you gone through with it yet?

Hope? Fear? Lack of resources? Not knowing or having a way to go?

What are your reasons i'm just genuinely curious

Lack of resources not knowing or having a way to go. I am reading about the CTB methods used here and they really confuse me so my only resort is slitting my throat and hanging.

 

[keg-ireland]

I can overcome SI but 2 main things that stop me are:

1) The devastation I would bring to my family.

2) My Dog who is my best buddy in life.

 

[Lady Laudanum]

I have no plans to CTB in the foreseeable future because I still have to get my revenge against my dad, who sexually abused me when I was a kid. I'm not going to take any direct action. I'll be using the North American healthcare system, which is great at staving off death but terrible at giving patients quality of life, to punish him. I also have to stay alive to see my mom suffer the consequences of her inaction. She was emotionally abusive but it was her apathy toward my plight that hurt me the most. When both my parents kick the bucket, I get a significant insurance payout and inheritance. By that time, maybe life might improve to the point where I won't even want to CTB anymore.