muffin222

muffin222

Enlightened
Mar 31, 2020
1,188
The pain of living far outweighs the joy
 
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Prathibha

Member
Oct 27, 2020
52
Fed up with life
 
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skinnystudent

Member
Dec 6, 2020
17
Trauma and chronic pain ...
 
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StuckAF

StuckAF

Member
Apr 16, 2020
92
I would kill myself if I could. The fear of failure and being found is what's holding me back. Furthermore, suicide is forbidden according to most if not all religions. And I'm religious. God could punish me.

Therefore, I've accepted that life is not a choice and that I have to accept the circumstances that I've chosen for myself. I'm wondering how you plan on killing yourself. Have you no survival instinct? Do you intend to force yourself?

We all die so wouldn't you rather have a peaceful death in old age?
It would be nice dying a peaceful death because of old age after having a NICE FULFILLING LIFE... not as an ugly gay guy that everyone hates including himself..
 
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MindFrog

MindFrog

:Professional Hypocrite:
Nov 19, 2020
723
Religion did held me back from committing ctb, but it never helped me in any other way. I felt like something that was there to scare me and oh boy it did. But, life is very different from bible scripture. There's never proper justice or karma that goes to punish the "sinners". And there's only endless suffering for the truly "good people".

I dont know. Maybe I'm just to jaded in life but not wanting to let go because I'm scared of a God that doesn't care about dozens of crimes committed on innocent person seems unreasonable. I don't think wanna go to heaven, if he's the God I'm gonna meet. Besides, It's my life. I'm not a property of anyone.
 
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D

Deleted member 19276

Wizard
Jun 28, 2020
682
I would kill myself if I could. The fear of failure and being found is what's holding me back. Furthermore, suicide is forbidden according to most if not all religions. And I'm religious. God could punish me.

Therefore, I've accepted that life is not a choice and that I have to accept the circumstances that I've chosen for myself. I'm wondering how you plan on killing yourself. Have you no survival instinct? Do you intend to force yourself?

We all die so wouldn't you rather have a peaceful death in old age?

The second sentence. Either ending up again in the loony bin or ending up a vegetable / crippe.
As far as the religious stuff is concerned, I don't wanna hear anything about it. No sky daddies, no forms of hell and damnation, no bs!
We are born of sin we die a sin, I would tell this to any pro life preaching priest at any part of the damned day.

Survival instinct is hard to overcome, but a person does get a sense of control over everything once it passes, being able to move on with living included.

Old age, I don't know if that would be peaceful. Smelling of urine and crapping a diaper.
Yeah, I think I should be able to pick when it's time to go.
 
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Superdeterminist

Superdeterminist

Enlightened
Apr 5, 2020
1,877
- I'm not okay with some of the things I've suffered in the past, those experiences made me hate life, in a way. It doesn't matter much that they're in the past, that they happened at all is unacceptable.

- I'm not currently enjoying living day to day, there's nothing that truly excites me or makes me genuinely joyful. I spend 99% of my time worrying about my future and all the pains of life.

- There's no guarantee I won't suffer the same or worse misfortunes in the future, and actually it's looking quite likely that agony is in the cards, in one form or another. I really don't want to be put through it.
 
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Breadbfra

Breadbfra

Specialist
Jul 16, 2020
374
I want to die due to covid. It's too fucking much to handle and I'm a very social person.
And no, I don't care about the pain. Your neck breaking in one minute vs 80 years lived in misery. You choose which is more painful.
 
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Amumu

Amumu

Ctb - temporary solution for a permanent problem
Aug 29, 2020
2,624
loneliness, depression, my body, probably trauma.
 
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J

JustABunchOfAtoms

She/they
Jul 23, 2020
516
Religion did held me back from committing ctb, but it never helped me in any other way. I felt like something that was there to scare me and oh boy it did. But, life is very different from bible scripture. There's never proper justice or karma that goes to punish the "sinners". And there's only endless suffering for the truly "good people".

I dont know. Maybe I'm just to jaded in life but not wanting to let go because I'm scared of a God that doesn't care about dozens of crimes committed on innocent person seems unreasonable. I don't think wanna go to heaven, if he's the God I'm gonna meet. Besides, It's my life. I'm not a property of anyone.

What religion did you follow?
 
H

hellodarkness

Member
Dec 8, 2020
92
I've had OCD as long as I can remember. I could handle that. The summer I started hearing and seeing things that just aren't there. Diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic, put on every anti-psychotic known to man. Hypomanic drug reaction, add more drugs to manage that. Now I'm at a point where I just feel dead inside, and I know no matter what I do, I will never be as sane as I am today ever again- its all downhill now.

I have a lot of guilt putting my husband and kids through life with me like this. They deserve better. I don't want to get to the point where my children's memory of me is of someone I'm not. Ultimately the GoT Sansa Stark sentiment, "Kill me while there's still some of me left." rings true...
 
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Kramer

Kramer

Nervous wreck
Oct 27, 2020
1,398
Because burning in hell is my fetish
 
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BluesRunTheGame

BluesRunTheGame

Blackpilled
Dec 15, 2020
1,715
Depression, anxiety and OCD.

And I can't handle that, nor do I think @hellodarkness really can. OCD is the worst, the fucking worst: anything good you hold dear, it will fucking destroy it (and then try and make you identify yourself with it).
 
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LittleMonkey

Member
Aug 13, 2020
37
God could punish me.
Well fuck it then. Respect towards something that has power should be earned. Sure, let it send you to hell. At least you will be the one who called out the tyrant to it's face.
 
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stevepwn

Member
Aug 27, 2020
14
I know someone who worked for 50 years owned a car business and at the old age of 77 got into a horrific car accident and still survived but was injured badly... life is just brutal.
 
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soundsofsilence

soundsofsilence

Is my life, my choice, my decision.
Feb 1, 2020
25
Tired, very tired of living.

Too many setbacks, too many disappointments.

Also, seeing how evil some humans can be makes me just want to get out.
 
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Nicebuddimtim

Nicebuddimtim

Ghost
Jun 28, 2020
109
Chronic illness, long term depression, bad anxiety and "controversial views" all led me to where I am today. That on top of the state of this planet and our "mighty" race that consumes relentlessly. I don't want to be part of it any more I've tried for so long to bypass all my troubles with distractions and attempts to fit in but alas I find comfort in the end of it all with my death. I just fear for the people I leave behind how the world will be for them, I believe everyone should join in mass suicide and leave the planet to heal free of humankind. But that is pipe talk and nobody wants to hear it. I'm no use to society I'm a tax on all the "normal people" so I'll just leave them to it.
 
Lupgevif

Lupgevif

.
Jul 23, 2020
928
God doesn't exist, so I don't care. I'd rather go now, thanks.
 
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E

Endeavour

Mage
Dec 13, 2020
566
Tired, very tired of living.

Too many setbacks, too many disappointments.

Also, seeing how evil some humans can be makes me just want to get out.
Same. And covid and the destruction of the economy etc makes me feel there's no future worth hanging around for anyway.
 
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Divine Trinity

Divine Trinity

Pugna Vigil
Mar 20, 2019
310
I would kill myself if I could. The fear of failure and being found is what's holding me back. Furthermore, suicide is forbidden according to most if not all religions. And I'm religious. God could punish me.

Therefore, I've accepted that life is not a choice and that I have to accept the circumstances that I've chosen for myself. I'm wondering how you plan on killing yourself. Have you no survival instinct? Do you intend to force yourself?

We all die so wouldn't you rather have a peaceful death in old age?
At first it was your typical youthful angst and anger at the world, truly recognizing that our upbringing is a mirage and confronting the uncomfortable truth that dreams and ambitions are for the rich and psychotics of the world. That modern man's fate is a tale of pain, loss, regression, and serfdom where every drop of blood is siphoned off to the monolithic parasite few of the past would recognize as humanity. This humanity who subsequently demands sacrifice in return for an ever cumbersome yet fleeting offer of stimulus to man's most deprived needs and desire. That humanity, whom we all recognize and celebrate for its feigning of order, decency, and eternal youth in a twist of irony functions solely for not only its own demise but for any who may obtain or surpass its limited transcendence of god and nature. The collective will and vanity of man for all it's gestures and shows of might is nothing more than a beast too brash to realize its folley and too insufferable to be concerned.

I've grown tired of it all, weary, steadily drowsey. If life is not my own to decide then why do I pay? Fear, tax, anger, joy, thought, sweat, compassion, jelousy, love, lust, or blood; none is for me to decide, none is for me to nurture or deprive. So I look to man's most praised passtime to solve my woes, where a choice is either given or made to each who's paid their toll.
 
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WornOutLife

マット
Mar 22, 2020
7,164
Because all my life I was told I gotta keep on living no matter what.
 
Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
20,694
Because I'm my own worst abuser and rather than seeing that monster live, he deserves to die.
 
plough22

plough22

Living but not really, just surviving
May 1, 2020
226
Like most life is a torture, it's only when it'll becomes way too much to handle, it'll finally drive me over the edge and defeat my SI and/or fear of . I do feel that I'll die at my own hand. I wish death, I hope when I sleep I find peace
 
sunburst

sunburst

Just do it.
Feb 1, 2021
30
I have a very strong survivor instinct. I often wake up in the middle of the night to drink water if I get hold of N I would just leave the solution in the cup next to my bed. Drink it and go back to sleep. That would be the perfect way for me.
 
Mentalmick

Mentalmick

IMHOTEP!!!
Nov 30, 2020
2,050
Life is precious people...look at all the fucking tumbleweed.
 
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