I want to die so bad right now

[DoomsdayCTB]

i'm almost 40. things can get better, but eventually they all come back to the same shitty point. the circle of despair.

my username is related to the Doomsday movie that I would wait for it. idk if i'll make it over the night. and I want to stab myself so badly. Idg why it's a non-method if you have the right gear and aim. i don't mind blood or that it would hurt. that's how much I need this. so tired of my life pretty much being betrayed and abused. I think God will forgive me. I think I will begin a descent into alcoholism to get me through that day in December. I want to be completely unaware of my reality from now on.

 

[Pvnie]

I've really been thinking of ctb via puncturing my neck in my room, the only thing stopping me is my families remorse and the eternal lake of fire that potentially awaits.

 

[cheaptrick]

Id recommend a few slashes to get the endorphins going instead trying to stab yourself to death. I know it's possible to die from self inflicted stab wounds , that's how avicii died I think. But still, from what other members have said, definitely a method that should not be attempted.

 

[DoomsdayCTB]

I've really been thinking of ctb via puncturing my neck in my room, the only thing stopping me is my families remorse and the eternal lake of fire that potentially awaits.

That's exactly what I want to do. I have the perfect weapon for it, I'm not even sure people think outside the box like that.
I've never been afraid of gushing blood/taking blood...I just don't like chunks of meat when it comes to gore. I'm so fucked up if I stabbed myself I'd take stare in the mirror and take selfies for research sake. I wouldn't panic that badly because I'm more fascinated by the blood splurting out lol. Same if I were to go for any other artery down below.

Id recommend a few slashes to get the endorphins going instead trying to stab yourself to death. I know it's possible to die from self inflicted stab wounds , that's how avicii died I think. But still, from what other members have said, definitely a method that should not be attempted.

I'm more into spiking my skin. I've never been a cutter (reminds me too much of paper cuts) and I'd make it count the first time.