Who else is unable to work?

[alexending0412]

I had to stop working in my dream job due to my chronic illnesses. It was one of the most devastating days of my life when I had to call them to tell them I could no longer work.
I also had to leave my university due to my disability not being accommodated, when I only had 2 essays left of my entire degree.
I've been told that I definitely won't be able to work/study over the next few years as I need multiple quite gruelling surgeries, which is quite a blow.

 

[CowardStaysIn]

I cannot work outside the home anymore - my nerves are too bad + chronic physical illness on top of the mental health shit. I'm disabled but not "enough". I have a friend who helps me out when I need, and I do digital errands, write, sort of an online jill-of-all-trades for her. I also write on r/AskHistorians and I'm planning to go back to school for ancient history, specifically esotericism/mythography in antiquity.

The only thing that's keeping me alive (apart from cowardice) is my nerdosity. And curiosity. But I am tired, physically and mentally.

For @BlazingBob, have you looked at opportunities from home for someone with teaching experience? Online tutoring? Working with graduate/PhD students on their theses? I've done a bit of that for friends of mine going for advanced degrees? Maybe an online researcher?

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

I am back to work after being off sick for 5 months. The other day I spent hours looking at the screen, mind blank, couldn't form a thought, just wishing my task would resolve itself.

Yesterday night saw that the build I made of the project failed with errors, just wanted to cry. 3 hours to make a build for it to fail, now doing it again and praying it works. Need to write more code for another task but I've just been crying while looking at the screen.

Feel so useless and dumb

I feel for you, I was a dev and I had to leave because all I could do was blankly stare at my screen; I couldn't put two and two together anymore, nevermind solve a complex problem. My head was just empty.

 

[BlazingBob]

I cannot work outside the home anymore - my nerves are too bad + chronic physical illness on top of the mental health shit. I'm disabled but not "enough". I have a friend who helps me out when I need, and I do digital errands, write, sort of an online jill-of-all-trades for her. I also write on r/AskHistorians and I'm planning to go back to school for ancient history, specifically esotericism/mythography in antiquity.

The only thing that's keeping me alive (apart from cowardice) is my nerdosity. And curiosity. But I am tired, physically and mentally.

For @BlazingBob, have you looked at opportunities from home for someone with teaching experience? Online tutoring? Working with graduate/PhD students on their theses? I've done a bit of that for friends of mine going for advanced degrees? Maybe an online researcher?

No, I'm just too damn sick and sleep deprived. Parkinson's is killing me. Chronic nausea, pain, exhaustion, brain fog, tremors, and drug side effects. I'm lucky to get 2 to 3 hours very broken, fragmented sleep a night. At almost 52 willpower doesn't cut it anymore. I'm really looking forward to being dead.

 

[Green Destiny]

I've worked the same part time job at a thrift shop for 10 years now. Let me tell you it hasn't gotten easier over the years doing so much manual labor. It's really taken its toll physically and mentally and I really want to quit. Problem is that I need money and there's not many other job opportunities for me since I didn't go to any college or program, doesn't help that I have no clue what kind of career id want. I just can't figure my life out. I could have 100 years to think about it and it still wouldn't be enough.

 

[BlazingBob]

I had to stop working in my dream job due to my chronic illnesses. It was one of the most devastating days of my life when I had to call them to tell them I could no longer work.
I also had to leave my university due to my disability not being accommodated, when I only had 2 essays left of my entire degree.
I've been told that I definitely won't be able to work/study over the next few years as I need multiple quite gruelling surgeries, which is quite a blow.

I'm sorry That's horrible. I experienced something similar. I was very passionate about teaching and spent years preparing such as getting certified and earning a master's degree, just to have it all taken from me by my chronic incurable and progressive health problems. I was terminated from my last position for performance issues, like not being able to do grade reports because of the tremors and horrendous brain fog and exhaustion. Towards the end I was taking both Adderall IR and ER, energy drinks, at least a pot of coffee, 5 hour energy. It all caught up with me and here I am almost 6 years later sicker than ever and about to be homeless. No family, kids, partner, friends.

 

[ColorlessTrees]

Being reliant on others and feeling like a massive burden is a personal hell; you are not alone. Cannot hold down a job/edu after 5+ attempts in various routes—including volunteer work and part time—thanks to my condition & health problems. Biggest reason I'm here. Because even if I think much of it is bullshit, that's life, and I hate giving nothing back in any form.

 

[lawlietsph]

I can't even explain how much I hate the fact that you have to work in order to live. I'm 28, only got my very first job 5 months ago. I managed to find a remote job, so I could at least work from home. But after 2 months my boss told me he doesn't have the money to employ me anymore. He still gives me small tasks from time to time but it's not enough for a comfortable living.
Mainly I am relying on my mother. And I can't even begin to tell you how this makes me feel. I am the biggest burden on earth and I don't deserve anything.
I have extremely bad depression, fatigue, anxiety and I believe (undiagnosed) autism. I just want to die 50% of the days, the other 50% I feel completely exhausted and just crave to be alone in complete silence.
Talking makes me shut down emotionally, for example going to the store and making the simple "Hello, thank you" conversation with the cashier is making me dead inside, tired, suicidal, awful.
I've tried many online businesses, webshop, affiliate marketing, master resell, etsy, you name it I've done it... But failed in everything.
This is my number one reason for wanting to ctb. The constant stress about money is too much.
I just want to live in a tiny house and plant my own veggies and be alone and rot alone and be forgotten. I don't want anything. Just let me be, please I am begging.

 

[martinso67]

I can't even explain how much I hate the fact that you have to work in order to live. I'm 28, only got my very first job 5 months ago. I managed to find a remote job, so I could at least work from home. But after 2 months my boss told me he doesn't have the money to employ me anymore. He still gives me small tasks from time to time but it's not enough for a comfortable living.
Mainly I am relying on my mother. And I can't even begin to tell you how this makes me feel. I am the biggest burden on earth and I don't deserve anything.
I have extremely bad depression, fatigue, anxiety and I believe (undiagnosed) autism. I just want to die 50% of the days, the other 50% I feel completely exhausted and just crave to be alone in complete silence.
Talking makes me shut down emotionally, for example going to the store and making the simple "Hello, thank you" conversation with the cashier is making me dead inside, tired, suicidal, awful.
I've tried many online businesses, webshop, affiliate marketing, master resell, etsy, you name it I've done it... But failed in everything.
This is my number one reason for wanting to ctb. The constant stress about money is too much.
I just want to live in a tiny house and plant my own veggies and be alone and rot alone and be forgotten. I don't want anything. Just let me be, please I am begging.

I wished I was an animal like a bird or dolphin, then I would not want to CTB. Life is possible and worth for me as an animal. Because it is not so long like human's life expectancy (of 70+ years) and one does not depended on other humans or society for survival.

 

[waningmoth]

I wish i could work, it would give me a distraction, but most importantly if i could work it would mean i had somehow conqurered that that makes me need to ctb.
As it is im incapable of work, cant take care of myself or my home without assistance from one elderly familly member who i trust. When they are gone, i will be too. For no other reason than being unable to care for myself.
Done the hospital thing multiple times, been in contact with the setvices all my life. Know they couldnt care less if i rot and melt into my carpet

 

[ADHDloser]

Dropped out of uni a couple of times and I have jumped from job to job due to illness. On leave from my current job due to my illness. I hate it because I feel alienated from society. All of my friends are studying and getting jobs. I feel like a burden to my mother. The guilt kills me inside out. I wish I could move out, but rent is insane and I only get a little bit of money from the government.

 

[idiotenby]

I got fired from my last job 5 years ago and haven't had a proper job since. I was a teacher and my career was a big part of my identity and gave me much needed purpose, structure and social interaction, not to mention a paycheck. I'd love to be working again and being productive but I'm just too damn sick. Sometimes I feel like a big pile of crap especially when I start comparing myself to others.

Losing my career is a huge reason for planning my suicide. I'd rather be dead than sitting around watching life go by while I rot and also having to depend on the charity of others, which is what I'll have to do once my money runs out which is right around the corner.

Tbh my cat is the only thing keeping me around but we're in the same boat as everyone else is above me. Last time I tried to get a job... (A couple days ago) the guy just turned creepy and tried taking advantage of me

 

[Ravel]

Same. Never had a job in my life, I've applied for jobs at supermarkets, physical labor, anything, not a single response, not even mcdonalds would hire me. I can't function like a normal human being due to social anxiety, depression, and others physical problems. It's over