snow_cones59
Member
- Jul 27, 2026
- 6
Here is a little post about why im a loser. This year is going by very very fast, already august, it felt like January was yesterday. The thought of aging and being 30 and older is absolutely dreadful, I can't imagine myself being 50. The older you are the more you are expected to have a good career or something. I admittedly don't wanna get a high level job, yes im lazy and stupid but I didn't wanna be born to have these responsibilities forced upon me. I kinda hate the vessel that i hold too. stupid, a little ugly and a bland personality (i have an interest for people with charming personalities.) Everyone hates themself at least a little though, cause you get sick of being one person for too long. I put off killing myself until im at least 30 for three reasons.
1) It will break my mum's heart, I won't seriously consider it until both my parents are dead, cause they are the only people who will care about my death. I'm little worried though, i find the possibility of them still being alive when im 50 very very unsettling and dreadful. Horrible thought but i can't help it
2) suicide is a little scary. I often lay in bed thinking about methods. Using a gun is rather gruesome if you use a powerful one, the thought of obliterating my head is kinda funny but scary at the same time. The most 'appealing' method in my head is overdosing, I thought about getting an antidepressant prescription, buying alcohol and finding opiates (i've never done drugs before.) There is no possible way I can fail an overdose like that, plus the opiates will make you drift off (hopefully)
3) Despite it all, I still have certain things I wanna accomplish creatively . I'll have a little satisfaction in leaving a little piece of myself behind. I like it when people complement my cartoons. So I've been trying to focus on getting things done, its fun. I'd also like to do some solo travel around the world
I'm the type of person to stay at home alone most of the time, my room is like my temple, I love my room. Things like socialising and love isn't something that I usually care about. Though sometimes I would like some romance as that kind of thing has never been in my life, I wouldn't necessarily be upset if I die never experiencing it. I don't want anything to do with most people because I simply love to listen music and draw cartoons more. The main things I do in life is watch youtube and movies, post on forums, listen to music, read books and comics, draw, play music and occasionally play retro games. My existence right now isn't so bad because im young and work at a grocery store that only requires me stock shelves and other stuff.
Last thing i'll say is that suicide isn't always a bad thing... In my case at least, I know nobody will care if I die except my parents. My old friends have their own life and will only experience mild shock, extended family is a joke, they are basically strangers and thats it
I'm gonna sleep now cause im tired
1) It will break my mum's heart, I won't seriously consider it until both my parents are dead, cause they are the only people who will care about my death. I'm little worried though, i find the possibility of them still being alive when im 50 very very unsettling and dreadful. Horrible thought but i can't help it
2) suicide is a little scary. I often lay in bed thinking about methods. Using a gun is rather gruesome if you use a powerful one, the thought of obliterating my head is kinda funny but scary at the same time. The most 'appealing' method in my head is overdosing, I thought about getting an antidepressant prescription, buying alcohol and finding opiates (i've never done drugs before.) There is no possible way I can fail an overdose like that, plus the opiates will make you drift off (hopefully)
3) Despite it all, I still have certain things I wanna accomplish creatively . I'll have a little satisfaction in leaving a little piece of myself behind. I like it when people complement my cartoons. So I've been trying to focus on getting things done, its fun. I'd also like to do some solo travel around the world
I'm the type of person to stay at home alone most of the time, my room is like my temple, I love my room. Things like socialising and love isn't something that I usually care about. Though sometimes I would like some romance as that kind of thing has never been in my life, I wouldn't necessarily be upset if I die never experiencing it. I don't want anything to do with most people because I simply love to listen music and draw cartoons more. The main things I do in life is watch youtube and movies, post on forums, listen to music, read books and comics, draw, play music and occasionally play retro games. My existence right now isn't so bad because im young and work at a grocery store that only requires me stock shelves and other stuff.
Last thing i'll say is that suicide isn't always a bad thing... In my case at least, I know nobody will care if I die except my parents. My old friends have their own life and will only experience mild shock, extended family is a joke, they are basically strangers and thats it
I'm gonna sleep now cause im tired
