Discussion where did it all go wrong for you?

[Chupacabra 44]

It's basically been downhill for me the second the doctor spanked my ass after childbirth.

 

[Sensei]

I developed bipolar disorder when I was 32. I've been in a downward spiral ever since.

 

[justsad&done]

10 years ago, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Before that I was happy and healthy. I'd never even been in the hospital, aside from having my son. They destroyed the cancer, but they destroyed me as well. I lost myself, my family, the whole future I had planned with the person I loved. Now I have to watch him living a new life and pretend to it doesn't bother me, pretend I don't miss what we had. And I'm stuck here, in a body I hate, living a life I don't want, alone in a city I don't even like. I'm still suffering from side effects of treatment and am riddled with pain and chronic illness. And on top of all that, my brain is constantly trying to kill me. There's no way to come back.

I'm sorry you are suffering so much. I was also diagnosed with breast cancer. And everything I went through has pretty much devastated me. Just when I thought maybe things would be ok, my fiance died and everything came crashing down. I agree. There's no way to come back.

 

[AutoTap]

for me it was birth. i inherited really shit allergies from my dad (eggs, nuts, chickpeas, all dairy, fish, etc. and they were all lethal) so i couldn't find any friends. then there was the divorce.

Severe debilitating anxiety disorders, phobias, panic disorder and depression.

I really don't know. My whole life there's always been this expectation in the back of my head that I will fail at everything. I've always done well in school and was told I was smart. People say I can do anything I set my mind to and I think that's true. But there's nothing I want to do. Even when I was a kid I can't remember having any dreams or goals for the future, I just did what others expected of me. I have never had any passion for anything. I always start things but then realize I hate doing them and I stop. Now that I'm older I have more freedom to choose what I want but when I look inside my head there's nothing there. I don't think I even feel real emotions anymore. I can cry or laugh at a movie or tv show but when it comes to real life I don't feel anything. I guess I was born missing a piece of my soul or something...

Same here except I also have a lot of anxiety disorders, phobias, and stuff that debilitate me and cause me mental and physical anguish.

 

[regular john]

It all went wrong for me when i was born. i hate feeling pain and the animal functions like hunger that i have to feed. Being born. Every animal including humans for the last 500 million years is born hungry thirsty and has to constantly work to feed itself, keep itself warm , sheltered from predators etc etc. Every day there's always the threat of accident ,disease , extreme pain. Then that animal starts to get old and eventually a painful tortorouse disease or old age will lead to torture and torturous death. This will happen to practically every human and every animal and has for hundreds of millions of years. As soon as birth happens you fall into the trap. imo old age must be avoided at all costs. People malign consciousness but at least it with consciousness is what i figured out the above and that there is no purpose to life and that i have to ctb (why work for what purpose, why risk torture for a made up purpose?) , i will kill myself i can do it and will do it while other animals and people that don't realize the trap of life will suffer while i at least have a chance at having a relatively painless quick exit from this hell while others fall into the hell of old age then a painful natural death. animals and most humans don't realize that old age has to be avoided as all costs as that is hell. i used my consciousnesss, reasoning ability to figure this out most humans have no clue of any of this. this is just some stuff of the top of my head. These are just some basic problems for every animal. Of course there are other hells on top of that the thousand shocks the flesh is heir to, injustice evil etc.

my mom says people are made for work. Do you think she is right ?

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

my mom says people are made for work. Do you think she is right ?

i hate working. Why do i have to work so hard for what purpose? I don't see a purpose to life . Any purpose would be subjective and made up fiction imo. i hate being trapped in this decaying meat prison.

 

[AutoTap]

my mom says people are made for work. Do you think she is right ?

I know you didn't ask me the question but I saw in my feed. And I think some people are. I sure wasn't. I can barely survive when all I have to do is stay home because of my mental issues.

If I can barely survive and do things at home. How am I expected to work? And I'm not the only one like this so I think she is wrong.

Anyways have a good day!

 

[MindFrog]

Probably when I found out about my mother being abused. It felt so surreal how much shit can be going on under you nose. You'd think your parents are happy but just find out your mother "tripped" again.

It made me think how people ca be cruel even to their own loved ones.

 

[Lulu Land]

I believe it all went wrong for me when I was around ten. My parents had always fought and my step-brother who was staying was not used to this so we went to a gas station and called the police. It was a horrible time for all of us and that's when I started feeling horrible about myself, one year doing self-harm and believing I could trust my friends. Around three years later I started identifying as trans, and my parents are the type to believe if you're trans you worship Satan. They believe in a bunch of weird things but that only made things worse. So now I am who I am

 

[rata1]

i think it was a longterm influence. not one exact thing, trauma, moment....
i was born to the wrong parents, to the wrong family, the wrong moment and so on. from outside it doesnt look so hard or dangerous, but it fucked my life. it fucked my existence. it is nearly invisible but it is there. so invisible, that even myself i am not sure about my problems. but they are there i know it. one of the best patterns of manipulating communication. invisible, not lethal, best control ever. would be a perfect example for manipulation or torture. incredible ingenious. but the people who used it over me arent even conscious of it. fascinating world of communication.....

nice holidays if you have. if not: nice solstice. i hope you are well or better

 

[regular john]

I know you didn't ask me the question but I saw in my feed. And I think some people are. I sure wasn't. I can barely survive when all I have to do is stay home because of my mental issues.

If I can barely survive and do things at home. How am I expected to work? And I'm not the only one like this so I think she is wrong.

Anyways have a good day!

I was born highly sensitive person. I have nervous system different when compared to what other people have. I hate how my body works. I admire my mom. She comes from poor family. She was smart enough to study economy and she made it in life. I didn't . I tried to work in my life but it never worked. I am not brainy person so jobs for not brainy person are only those boring and torturing ones. I always wanted to go beyond cleaning and jobs like that but recently I realized I was never brainy enough to go to smarter jobs.

 

[stevepwn]

i was always timid/scared/shy of humans in general i have AVPD and a messed up brain and life with anxiety and depression.

 

[Bigpink]

Shouldn't have been born. Never felt I belong in this world. Weak, inadequate, not smart.
Given all this did manage to make a life, partner, house, kids,the whole thing. All over now, alone and waiting for death.

 

[AutoTap]

I was born highly sensitive person. I have nervous system different when compared to what other people have. I hate how my body works. I admire my mom. She comes from poor family. She was smart enough to study economy and she made it in life. I didn't . I tried to work in my life but it never worked. I am not brainy person so jobs for not brainy person are only those boring and torturing ones. I always wanted to go beyond cleaning and jobs like that but recently I realized I was never brainy enough to go to smarter jobs.

If it makes ya feel better I'm to anxious to be able to do cleaning jobs.

 

[Readytoenditall]

Shitty parents and drugs.

 

[Life_and_Death]

birth, but it didnt have to be.

from what i can tell i was born with my personality disorder so i was basically screwed from the beginning. of course it didnt have to be that. i was fine being ignorant of my problem and just being me. of course after 16 years of abuse from parents and friends......its no wonders i developed all my all problems.

although capgras.....yeah not sure where that came from. might have been born with it might have developed. it didnt effect any of my pets before but were does something like that develop. idk. idc. (and this is my minor problem)

 

[issyishere]

Born a pretty normal life, brain began looking for answers. Saw a few that don't really apply but my obsessive brain reacted as though it did. Been dealing with how cynical I am since.

 

[Skrabz]

Scrolling through and reading everyone's posts made me realize unlike some of you, it's all my fault that I'm here. I dug myself into this hole and I'm not sure how I'll come out.
I mismanaged funds i was supposed to use for my tuition, however the school allowed me to write my final year exams and I passed those but I can't get my degree because I haven't completed payments.
I was contacted earlier today saying they will have it cancelled in a week or so and I have no means of paying that off.
I don't see a future I'd live in if that happens

 

[EnnuiCat]

My childhood was fairly normal other than being bullied incessantly. Major depression struck in my mid-twenties and I've been battling it ever since, I'm now 54. It destroyed my marriage and continues to color everything a dull gray. Intense social anxiety, agoraphobia, and anhedonia add to the mix. I fake my way through the motions of life when even on my best days I don't really care about anything.

 

[Hurt]

This year fucked me up

 

[Invisible 73]

The day I was born

 

[livefreeorpeace]

for me it was birth. i inherited really shit allergies from my dad (eggs, nuts, chickpeas, all dairy, fish, etc. and they were all lethal) so i couldn't find any friends. then there was the divorce.

Right around this time of year when I was three years old, my father killed himself.

 

[Gaybonez]

for me it was birth. i inherited really shit allergies from my dad (eggs, nuts, chickpeas, all dairy, fish, etc. and they were all lethal) so i couldn't find any friends. then there was the divorce.

Puberty.

 

[Weightoftheworld]

Probably the day I was conceived.

 

[Wraith]

Birth. Mental illness and abuse run rampant on both sides of my family, and not only did my parents think it was a good idea to get together, they also had the genius idea of reproducing too. I didn't want to be born disabled; nobody does.

 

[DrWh033]

Bad surgery. Surgeon ignored basic anatomy, damaged spinal accessory nerve, developed neuropathic pain. Untreatable and intractable. Medications just put you on an addiction withdrawal spiral with no effect. I am not interested in nerve modulation. Have to leave this earth. Did my duty. I helped a lot of people. Quality of life is zero. I am a doctor myself. I don't really understand non physical causes of suicide like anxiety, OCD, etc. I am sorry I cannot empathise. I do empathise with a person that is tetraplegic however and wants to get out.

 

[omoidarui]

i needed to be artificially conceived so it was going wrong before i was even an embryo.

I needed oxygen at birth and then my teen years were horrible but I'm liking my twenties. The cruel irony is I only now know how to achieve a peaceful death, at a time when I'm actually semi-enjoying life, oh modernity

 

[make_00]

being abused verbally and physically since I was 4-5 years old but getting drugged by someone (unknown to this day,drugs found from blood test after I got admitted because I went off the rails from being drugged) when I was 10 years old sent things spiraling bad

 

[sweater]

At birth. 2 months premature and very very ill for my entire childhood. Lots of trauma regarding surgeries and medical exploration of my body. Then dealing with undiagnosed autism/adhd/anxiety/depression from kindergarten up. Then being fat. And queer. And trans. Everything is wrong in my life. Nothing was ever right and it's pretty annoying to have to continuously be here in this wrong life.

 

[mookid]

This may not sound like a big deal but it still hurts to me. I don't have any friends, neither in real life or internet. Never had any friends except at my chilhood but now I feel alone and don't have anybody who will listen to me. Besides I don't know how to socialize at all. Whenever I go I feel like I don't fit and just make people around me uncomfortable and bored. Whenever I see people hanging out with their friends I feel so sad, I just wish I had anybody to do something so simple as watching a movie together or playing some game, Idk. I'm sorry if I said something wrong by the way, english isn't my natal language.