Discussion What’s Your Top Reason For Being Suicidal?

[Felodese]

Lifelong untreatable depression.
There's plenty of trauma and shit, but the main reason is the depression.

 

[GrizzlyGrapefruit]

Nearly 9 years of health problems since taking Accutane. I've tried so hard through the entirety of it, only to repeatedly fail. In trying to get better, I've actually gotten far worse.

I have severe sexual dysfunction, brain fog, trouble sleeping, anhedonia, and more. I'm a shell of a human being, an observer at best. I have no interests in life besides wanting to feel better. These health problems have stripped me of all other facets of myself. I'm 26 and have been chasing only one thing in life since I was 17. It's tantalizing.

I'm nearing a point in my life where I feel I have actually tried all that there is to try to get better. You can check my post history and see just how close I was to CTBing 4 years prior. What stopped me was the overwhelming feeling that I hadn't tried absolutely everything. I'm afraid I'm nearing that point of having tried all there is, and unfortunately, without any change in my situation that'd make life worth sticking around for. It hurts immensely.

 

[almondmilk]

1. i'm not that attractive
2. i have no purpose in life
3. i'm poor
4. i'm born in a shit country
5. there is no escape

 

[astrichaoz]

I just know there's nothing for me here. I'm not good at anything and I don't really have any passions. Noone really loves me the way I love them and I just most of the time feel sad and it's so unbearable. Suicide is just something I have to do I think, there's no purpose of me being here and I just want to be free from everything.

 

[anon0123242]

I will never have a girlfriend, despite using skincare, being healthy by going to the gym and eating healthy. Women purposely choose to ignore me and make my life a living hell. This is unacceptable and soon one day I'll have to commid suicide, except I don't know when the time is right and how I want to do it.

 

[unusally alive]

The fact that my default setting is suffering. Yes there are good moments, but they never last more than even a few hours. And i know that things won't get better i have tried, it only really just gets worse. I'm just trying to spare myself the pain that is to come with living another X amount of years. I have known for quite some time that CTB is the way to go, so its not like im expecting anything more down the line.

 

[Qimaster]

I'm ugly
I'm useless
I'm failed 10th grade in 2020 after that i left school now I don't know what to do
I have stuttering problem
I don't have courage
I'm addicted to p*rn
I have social anxiety
I fear to talk
I don't have any talents
I'm a bad son
I run away from my responsibilities
I don't have any friends
I hate myself
I don't know what to do I'm confused

Just saw this after I read your PM..
I too finished 12th and couldn't continue education.
Now I am useless and a burden to everyone.
I also used to have social anxiety..but its is much worse now.

 

[derpyderpins]

 

[JenX]

I'm flat broke and can't pay rent in four days. Homelessness… I can't even imagine and do not want to. I'm going to try to be dead by Monday.

Partial is my top choice but I've been practicing and I cant even pass out. Will keep trying. I'll probably have to resort to 2 to 3 tablespoons of salt. Much like SN, death is assured.

I'm so upset with myself for allowing it to get to this point.

 

[Metalhead]

Poor mental health, I have bipolar type 2 & it's a curse to have it. Caused so much damage when I have been hypomanic but the inevitable fallout/ depression that follows is crippling.

 

[lkjhgfdsa1]

Shame

 

[JKFleck]

Best and only friend abandoned me

 

[LostinTime24]

Had a tough early life worker hard in early adulthood hopefully to make something of myself. Bipolar/schizophrenia run in my family and unfortunately I have those now. Lost my career in both the national guard and my civilian job. Lost all of my relationships and just with time I just feel out of touch with reality. I don't see any path back to a normal life. I know I will never be married or have children and I will not pass on my genes anyway even if I had the chance. The only thing I have control over now is when my times up and how long I'll suffer till then.

 

[breakwater]

Autism and health problems, and the anxiety and depression that come with them.

 

[HarryCobean]

Not only does life not get better, but there's essentially zero chance of even clawing my way back up to where I started.

 

[Queenbannie]

Chronic depression, social anxiety and adhd.. I cant feel happiness :( tried a lot of therapy.

 

[LOVELYDARKDEEP]

I'm tired.

And taking by taking control of my own end, I can ensure that I will pass on my own terms. It's one of the few things in this life I have the ability to take complete control over.

It also brings me the satisfaction of spitting in the eye of fate by denying her the opportunity to dictate the terms of my inevitable demise.

We all die in the end.

 

[Steff1337]

Severe lifetime mental illness.

 

[CoRaven]

I'm hurting constantly. It hurts, I'm tired of it. Everytime things are going well or positive, something comes and fucks it all up. It all really started when I became a teenager. When I was 13, my grandpa died of a brain tumor. He was the closest thing I had to a father figure my whole life. When I was 14, I got groomed, and sexually abused and raped by a 35 year old man. This abuse would continue until I was 16. But peace didn't last long, not even a year later I was being threatened and again sexually assaulted by someone new. I feel like it's my fault, like I can't say i was raped because of how many times it happened. My mind tells me "this happened way too many times to qualify as abuse, you practically consented." But I know I didn't. When I was 14, I began self-harming, lightly, no deep cuts or injuries. When I was 15, I was admitted to the mental hospital on suicide watch, my life continued to crumble from then on. People were constantly stressing about me, and still do to this day. I don't do anything but hurt people, I bring no good or worth to this world. I'm just an apathetic, shell of melancholy. if I just die, I'll be gone for good. I'll feel no more, and everyone I know will be free of the curse it is of being tied to me.