What's your biggest regret and why?

[doneforlife]

I have none. I hope this continues till I become nonexistent.

 

[Fktw0rld]

Taking care of everyone around me, with a fake smile on my face, even when I was unable to take care of myself. Then finding myself alone when I was suffering. Thinking I could reach out to those I've sacrificed endlessly for, only to be left by the wayside having to struggle and figure things out by myself.

 

[Glandular]

Not living more while I still could

 

[AnxietyHangover]

I should've died due to asphyxiation when I was about 11 years old. Didn't know what was going to happen in the future, so I screamed for help.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

It may not have made much of a difference. This world is no longer a place where honest hard work gets rewarded. You either have to lie, cheat and steal, or do something stupid and completely useless that today's braindead society worships to get ahead in this life. That is the "reality of this world".

Genuine question as I'm ignorant when it comes to history and stuff: has there ever really been a time where honest hard work gets proportionally rewarded to the amount of hard work done in this world? Or at least close to getting proportionally rewarded?

I damn near worked my self to death in my 30s and it got me nowhere. Even if you become something super sucessful like a doctor for example, you're likely going to have a goldigging spouse, suicide-inducing stress from malpractice lawsuits and unruly patients, etc. Then the goverment takes half of your money to sustain the dregs of society.

With how unfair the world has become, I don't even know if doctors can be considered as successful in the financial sense. I get that they put a lot of hard work in but, unfortunately, I see those who work less and get rewarded way more than most doctors ever will get in their lives. For example, successful youtubers or twitch streamers or successful onlyfans users or successful tiktok users seem to get way more. That's not to say I think doctors are unsuccessful as I don't but that there are others who get way more from just doing stupid lip syncing or just casually talking to a camera whilst sitting in a comfortable chair. And of course there are those cases with generational wealth too

I want to say that life rewards the wrong people but, honestly, I think everybody here is the wrong people to reward, myself included of course

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

Biggest regret is not buying another bottle of N from D when it was available for purchase and many were buying it here. and then not killing myself sooner when i had better chances .

 

[girl2910]

To trust people

 

[CantTurnBack]

I regret failing everyone I've ever loved.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I regret making the wrong decisions in the past that ultimately lead me to the point where I am now. But afterwards we always know how it would've been better.

I also regret that haven't kms years ago when it was clear to me already that recovery is impossible - that would've prevented me from so much suffering.

 

[Kasumi]

Nothing of my actions I think, but I do regret that I couldn't have a normal life / grow up normally, though I don't think there's anything I could've done about that, it's no less frustrating.

 

[wisp]

I have no regrets; I know that I gave my all and achieved the most I could have achieved (although definitely far from what others have achieved with lesser efforts). I have no regrets because I gave it my all, so obviously it is my fate not to be able to achieve anything that the people who have surrounded me during my existence have had.
Initially I was disheartened, now I am beginning to feel free because from here on I am studying a way to CTB alternative to that damn SN that here in Italy unfortunately cannot be found.
I hope with all my heart not to make it to 2025, to find a solution to CTB as soon as possible because I am not going to continue with this shitty life

 

[Zaljko]

I did cocaine alot, to the point where my nose altered and I couldn't breath out of my left nostril. I religiously did a calisthenics workout routine for years that slowly fucked up my shoulders and neck. Also I had a cockroach infestation in my apartment that I couldn't eliminate, but years later realized they were coming from the base of a rice cooker that I used constantly. Constant missed opportunities with women when I was a teenager and in my 20's cause the ssri's had me shriveled and numb.

Yeah, I've been taking SNRI's (Cymbalta, for chronic pain/IBS) since 2007 - looking back I realized I had so many opportunities with women, but the medicine basically just makes me numb, like you say, to the point where it's like even when you find someone sexually attractive, you just kind of... don't pursue things? Don't feel those intense feelings? I've had more than my share of sexual dysfunction, even in my late 20's, and I blame the Cymbalta entirely for that. Of course, the doctors when they prescribe it don't really tell you; they did ask about sexual side effects when I first started it, but I thought well, if there are side effects they will show up right away, right? WRONG! They can show up years and years later... the longer you're on those meds the more they fuck up your body - but ofc because you're kinda numb you don't really care until someone points it out and/or it's totally and completely obvious... and by then it's too late ... I tried to get off the cymbalta once.... holy freaking God I was just crying endlessly, constantly, for no reason - even after I got back on the damn med it took literally years before my body re-adjusted...

 

[AInilam]

Being born and not ending it sooner when I had a peaceful method at the ready.

 

[Pg.964]

Not asking for help sooner. But I was just a child, how could I have known.

 

[Dingusguy]

Doing nothing with my life, I am still young but there have been so many chances I have completely blown. And I am still blowing my chances.
Fucked up my education because I couldn't take it serious.
Fucked my chances with the girl I love.
Fucked up my mental and physical health despite having the chance to fix them or at least try to.
Fucked up my job and ended up a NEET
And I can't blame anyone but me, because I am the cause of all of my problems and even now I can't fucking pick myself up to do something about it

 

[lastexit717@proton.]

Letting my SO dying alone and Browsing 4Chan

 

[Adiosworld]

I made a huge professional mistake in August 2021. It cost me $13M, my wife and she took my son with her. Respect/trust of my friends and family. Everything...

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

Genuine question as I'm ignorant when it comes to history and stuff: has there ever really been a time where honest hard work gets proportionally rewarded to the amount of hard work done in this world? Or at least close to getting proportionally rewarded?

With how unfair the world has become, I don't even know if doctors can be considered as successful in the financial sense. I get that they put a lot of hard work in but, unfortunately, I see those who work less and get rewarded way more than most doctors ever will get in their lives. For example, successful youtubers or twitch streamers or successful onlyfans users or successful tiktok users seem to get way more. That's not to say I think doctors are unsuccessful as I don't but that there are others who get way more from just doing stupid lip syncing or just casually talking to a camera whilst sitting in a comfortable chair. And of course there are those cases with generational wealth too

I want to say that life rewards the wrong people but, honestly, I think everybody here is the wrong people to reward, myself included of course

It makes me sick to my stomach. This is how you make $20 million in today's society:

 

[whitefeather]

What's your biggest regret and why?

That I haven't drank my Nembutal yet. I should ask for a partner by Skype to drink my Nembutal with. Partner can be anywhere on earth if they can skype.

 

[natthebrat]

The biggest: Not taking school/jobs more seriously when I was younger - things could be so much easier now if I hadn't wasted my early 20s on a stupid History degree I knew from the start I wouldn't use, all bc my ego as an artist was too big to study something I liked and instead I had to rationalize my dislike of (the social aspect of) school.

A close second: Not transitioning as a teenager - not only bc of passibility now and how much better I could have felt at the time if I had transitioned young, but also bc I made so many awful mistakes that were in part if not largely related to social dysphoria (including the one I just mentioned above).

Perhaps should be the biggest: Not being more assertive and honest towards my parents about what I really wanted and needed - the impact of both mistakes I mentioned and more could have been lessened or avoided if I'd handled disagreements with my parents more confidently.

 

[Some place nice]

When I was a baby, I had RSV and I was told that if I didn't Have good doctors that I would've died, I wish I didn't have good doctors.

 

[caninecomposer]

All my life I was surrounded by people who had nothing but regrets, making literally every mistake possible and ruining their lives way more than should be possible by anyone with an ounce of common sense. Because of that, I not only learned from their mistakes, but have gone through my whole life thinking of how I would feel on my deathbed. Most of my problems in life have been out of my control, suffering for other people's flaws and wrongdoings.

But if I had to choose one thing I could've done differently, it's taking too long to become a nihilist. Instead of looking at the big picture of reality, I allowed myself to believe in the good of humanity, even when there is none. I tolerated things that deserve harsh criticism. And I did many kind things for people who ended up hurting me as much as they could. But in a way, I'm glad for my painful experiences, as they've encouraged me to sail full-speed into exiting the planet as soon as possible, instead of going through any more unnecessary suffering.

 

[calebzz1]

My biggest regret is getting LASIK surgery a bit after I turned 21.

I've been dealing with long-term visual complications that may or may not resolve soon...it's very hard dealing with all this at a young age.

Imagine having intermittent ghosting vision that does not resolve...it's awful.

 

[Zatanna]

stabbing my brother, he's addicted to heroin and was being abusive to my mother, I was scared and angry.
I should have killed myself in Juvie.

 

[Hunter2005]

Being born

 

[pole]

not CTBing 6 years ago when I initially joined the site.

at that time, I felt broken, numb, and nothingness. when I thought about my future and what lied ahead, I saw nothing. it was dark and empty. I couldn't imagine myself being alive in a few years.

before my attempt, I got hospitalized for health problems. months passed and then school came, life went on, and I was back to being stuck and indecisive.

6 years later, I am much more broken. the nothingness and self-hatred? much more intense. and once again, I cannot see what lies ahead, it's pitch black, there's nothing.

my regret being that I let that version of myself down. they were right, nothing lied ahead. it only got worse. and I'm sorry.

however, this time around, I'm ready.

 

[fxxhan175]

What's your biggest regret and why?

Strangely enough, it's getting on antidepressants in the first place. It's life-altering for a lot of people but unfortunately for me, I apparently metabolize them abnormally and I haven't ever had any substantial breakthrough on them. Maybe it's just a case of not finding the right combination of meds, but I wish I had stopped them early before side effects started to set in like worsening eyesight, gastrointestinal and hormonal issues etc. If I could do things over again I would have tried to pursue natural remedies and gotten consistent therapy. Ingesting more and more foreign chemicals throughout the years has only made my situation worse and they're also notoriously hard to get off of. I wonder who I would be now if I weren't dependent on medications that are barely keeping me alive.

 

[aloneomen]

It feels like I have to many too count. Whenever I'm alone my head gets flooded with regrets. Throughout my life I've repeatedly made bad decisions and I'm aware that a large part of why my life is the way it is, is due to me and my own faults, and that hurts. I wish I could go back and change things but it's all gone now.

 

[suffocatingseraphim]

Being cruel and unloving to my best friend in our final months together. After 10 years of friendship, I switched on him so quickly and disregarded him, and now he's dead.

In addition, being abusive to my mum while I lived with her, and being standoffish to my dad when I lived with him. I love them, I've caused irreparable harm, and I never know how long I have with those I love.
Currently, betraying the love of my life by being unregulated and mentally unstable. And near abandoning us in the middle of nowhere in winter because i was trying to help this one stranger at the train station. This was almost a year ago, but it haunts me to know how violently I severed their trust.

 

[Kit1]

This is a really good question and I had to really reflect on it as I have spent the last few days reflecting on my life. I was going to say being born - but I wasn't given the choice. I was going to say that it wasn't being successful with my suicide attempts aged 14 - but I was too young and I definitely gave both attempts a good try. I actually think that my regrets are misplaced emotions - on rare occasions, I have felt angry, let down, cheated and betrayed by people and even felt sorry for myself - I regret for not working on those feelings sooner. I don't really want to harbour negative feelings. Self pity is not going to get me anywhere except possibly a feeling of entitlement or destruction. Being cheated etc - I am an adult. A few months ago, I wasnlet down badly by my GP (NHS) and I stopped takingball my meds more than 4 months ago and don't talk to or communicate with the surgery/GP and promised myself that if and when I become ill enough not to be able to care for myself, I will simply end my life as I don't want to be a burden on anyone. Yet I carried this disappointment and anger - and now trying to get rid of it. When I have a expectation in life, there is always a risk ofnthat turning into a disappointment and just accepting that it is just better not to have an expectation of anyone.