Discussion What's stopping you from healing?

[dogemn]

Many people who struggle with suicidal thoughts are also dealing with mental health conditions like depression, anxiety, trauma, etc. What do you feel has been the biggest obstacle to your healing or recovery? Has treatment not worked for you? Has something else gotten in the way?
I'm interested in hearing what you feel has been the biggest barrier in your own experience

 

[Sicariidae]

Because my diagnosis is chronic and medication only sedates me. I don't think life is worth it like that, what kind of life is that? If people were less selfish and allowed me to die I'd be gone. There's no "healing" for me, no good ending, so even if I tried again there's nothing good about it, my ex completely gave up in a relationship or improving herself and my friends have other friends closer to them (including my ex), I'm meaningless and don't bring anything good to anyone, not even my family so I just don't care about healing because it's not an option anymore sadly.

 

[ZwartHartje]

My mental health by itself is totally fine, or at least would be under normal conditions. But when everyone you loved gets murdered, that's not something you can expect to heal from. I don't have any mental illness, just trauma and grief inflicted by the very worst kind of murderous psychopaths.

 

[ilovejennaside]

Many people who struggle with suicidal thoughts are also dealing with mental health conditions like depression, anxiety, trauma, etc. What do you feel has been the biggest obstacle to your healing or recovery? Has treatment not worked for you? Has something else gotten in the way?
I'm interested in hearing what you feel has been the biggest barrier in your own experience

I think healing depends on if you're capable of resolving the problems that you have in life or not like if it's something unsolvable like chronic pain for example then you would be better off Crossing to the other side also if you just generally can't find something to look forward towards and to live for then life most probably wouldn't be worth it in order to heal we need to be able to fix what is broken first otherwise there isn't a point to continuing on ultimately you can heal what's actually healable.

 

[Set Real Goul]

This turned into a random rant. Sorry >_<

my father is an alcoholic, and he's had an unbelievably destructive impact on my life. I don't even want to get into everything that happened throughout my childhood when he behaved horribly that would require a separate very long post.
Imagine telling your eight year old child that they're responsible for all your problems: your alcoholism, the fact that you never became a successful rock musician, your smoking habit, and that you can't relax and enjoy music anymore just because your kid asked you to turn Rammstein down.

Every single time I managed to climb out of a depressive episode, or started feeling more confident, or simply began enjoying life again, he would do something awful some ridiculous, explosive fight that would set me back badly. I have quiet borderline personality disorder, so those things affected me deeply.

even though I hated him for most of my teenage years, I still had to spend a huge part of every day around him. he used my room as his office and would stay there from around 4 pm until midnight. It would have been one thing if he'd actually been working, but instead he spent those hours scrolling facebook.

he would throw my mother out of the house and constantly create chaotic, toxic situations. one time whether intentionally or accidentally, I still don't know after more than nine years because they were both drunk he shoved my mother, and she hit the floor face-first.
i ran over, and he immediately STARTED INSISTING THAT NOTHING HAD HAPPENED. my mother was crying, saying that he'd pushed her. I didn't trust him. I got her some ice and stayed with her for the next two hours.
Then he started demanding that I leave the room. He cried, complained that nobody appreciated him, threatened me, insulted me, and when none of that worked, he threatened to kill himself, which pushed me into a complete panic. he even acted out his "preparations". he climbed into the attic and pretended he was going to hang himself.
Now I know he never would have actually done it. He's far too narcissistic for that.

Right now I'm dealing with severe anhedonia and serious sleep problems. I can only sleep for about three hours at a time.

Anyway... this ended up turning into a much bigger rant than I intended.