What's keeping you alive?

[m1v]

What is still keeping you alive today? We surely must all have at least one reason. I think most of the people's reasons are slowly fading away and even disappearing. Which is why they happen to be there.

I had 2 reasons, one of them is almost completely gone. I'm basically holding onto a thread.

 

[starlover]

Love.

Too many people would be hurt by my ctb. I don't want to hurt them.

Though I'm wondering if a nice life insurance payout would soften the blow a little.

 

[NorthernMonkey]

Love.

Too many people would be hurt by my ctb. I don't want to hurt them.

Though I'm wondering if a nice life insurance payout would soften the blow a little.

would the life insurance policy still pay out if you end your own life?

 

[leloyon]

Lack of access to a reliable, effective and painless method, as well as unfinished business.
I expect I will be dead either by the end of the year or sometime next year - I won't see 2025, that's for sure.

 

[starlover]

would the life insurance policy still pay out if you end your own life?

Depends on the terms tbh. Internet tells me most life insurance has a "suicide clause" that has different terms depending on the company.

Gotta read the fine print.

 

[KrowaKovsky]

I'd prefer not to hurt my partners, as one of them have already suffered the pain of finding someone they cared about post CTB.

My cats also are keeping me here, I'll at least wait until they aren't around anymore if my relationships fizzle out.

 

[stellaburner]

What is still keeping you alive today? We surely must all have at least one reason. I think most of the people's reasons are slowly fading away and even disappearing. Which is why they happen to be there.

I had 2 reasons, one of them is almost completely gone. I'm basically holding onto a thread.

im too scared of messing up and rendering myself disabled, regretting it last moment, and also i don't want to traumatize my boyfriend

 

[outrider567]

would the life insurance policy still pay out if you end your own life?

No--Unless you CTB at least 2 years after taking out policy here in US, other countries I think is just 1 year

 

[Forever Sleep]

Purely the obligation to stay- in order not to hurt my Dad especially.

 

[StaticCryBabye]

Games and anime, a lot of it, that's pretty the only things that are keeping me here and keeping me entertained.

 

[RW__Asher23]

Trying to put things in order take time to apply for Assisted ctb but likely not. Finish school year I teach and then I am free. But making it to then is daily chore and pain and PTSD and etc etc. Just getting tired but feel like tiny bit of hope for a miracle drug too. Wish you all the very best journey to your destination what ever one that is and ..... Peace.

 

[Never Alive]

Some people and then one specific game. Nothing else.

 

[Darkover]

Lack of access to a reliable, effective and painless method end of

 

[unexplainedExplorer]

quite a few things, but i know the moment will come where i just don't care anymore and CTB. im essentially waiting for the feelings to subside.

 

[LetMeGoPlease]

Fear of suffering while dying.
Fear of what happens after I die.
I don't know how to make the knot correctly yet and I don't know a place where I could hang myself.

 

[NorthernMonkey]

No--Unless you CTB at least 2 years after taking out policy here in US, other countries I think is just 1 year

I should be ok, I've had mine years. Otherwise what's keeping me alive will be waiting for my insurance to be valid :)

 

[yukan]

got a date, just waiting till the day comes . i'm giving the time now to see if anything gets better. if not, i'll just ctb

 

[EmpathyMinded]

Nothing. Im just waiting to see if getting back into this hobby helps buy me a few more months. If it does not, ill just CTB in the summer.

If you don't mind me asking, what is that hobby?

 

[shutupanddrive]

- i havent lost my virgnity yet
- a bit random but i havent tried takis yet
- my boyfriend
- my cat
- no alone time to actually do it
- no equipment to do it yet
- no motivation to do it yet

 

[Gaming Chicken]

The only thing keeping me around is the fact that my only friend says she needs me. I've told her about my ideations and she basically said she can't go on without me. I've been slowly driving her away but it's too long a process

 

[ghost44]

no method

 

[uglybunny]

i have people that rely on me,, which sucks because i wanna just go with nothing on my mind but i can't disregard them because i love them. also i already tried to ctb when i was a kid and failed miserably (luckily i wasn't found, but i threw up the meds i tried to overdose with) and i'm terrified of failing again.

 

[HyperdimensionLoser]

Me being a shut-in and my roommate staying in the room more often than usual as of late. Don't think I want to traumatize the guy by hurting myself before his very eyes and it's hard to follow through with a constant presence around.

That's one of the reasons at least, its gonna be even harder once I go home when the semester ends since I'll be around people that care about me for some reason 24/7.

 

[PurpleParadigm]

My loved ones rely on me. I am proud of that.

But I don't know. I'm close, it scares me. If I could be helped I would gladly accept it.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

If you don't mind me asking, what is that hobby?

a competitive card game.

 

[Thisisme373]

My cousin makes it tough, he's my best friend.
Not having a gun.
Not having antiemetics and also fear of failing with how fucking complicated methods are. Gun is simple and quick but I don't have access to one.
I want a simple fucking easy, painless, sure method.
I really wish assisted suicide was legal. That would be my way.
Fuck my life, I beg to die every night, just fucking end this shit

 

[EmpathyMinded]

a competitive card game.

Ah nice, hell yeah. I used to be into playing the Pokémon TCG. Got away from it but admire anyone who is good at any TCG game, there is so much to remember and skill involved to play well. I'm good at some things but idk if I have the talent for that. It's impressive you do, keep at it if you have the passion. And nice thing about that is things are always shifting with new sets being introduced so things will always change and require new strategies. Keeps things interesting.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Ah nice, hell yeah. I used to be into playing the Pokémon TCG. Got away from it but admire anyone who is good at any TCG game, there is so much to remember and skill involved to play well. I'm good at some things but idk if I have the talent for that. It's impressive you do, keep at it if you have the passion. And nice thing about that is things are always shifting with new sets being introduced so things will always change and require new strategies. Keeps things interesting.

Not really sure there's a point, tbh. I am still intent on CTBing, and the hobby doesn't mitigate my shitty existence. It just provides a slight distraction that only lasts while I am playing.

 

[EmpathyMinded]

Not really sure there's a point, tbh. I am still intent on CTBing, and the hobby doesn't mitigate my shitty existence. It just provides a slight distraction that only lasts while I am playing.

If it makes you feel better even if only for a bit, I'd say that's the point. I'm sorry it's only as temporary a help as it is, but I'm glad you've got something like that. All of us need something like that going for us. And sorry you're struggling in general. While you're here, hope you can find more things that can help give you peace of mind for a bit. You deserve that.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

If it makes you feel better even if only for a bit, I'd say that's the point. I'm sorry it's only as temporary a help as it is, but I'm glad you've got something like that. All of us need something like that going for us. And sorry you're struggling in general. While you're here, hope you can find more things that can help give you peace of mind for a bit. You deserve that.

I still need to afford it, though. Between keeping up with the card pool and traveling to events (I am a competitive person by nature so playing for fun doesn't do it for me), it seems like I may not be able to do it. I'm a jobless NEET lol

 

[EmpathyMinded]

I still need to afford it, though. Between keeping up with the card pool and traveling to events (I am a competitive person by nature so playing for fun doesn't do it for me), it seems like I may not be able to do it. I'm a jobless NEET lol

Ha ha, I've got the odd couple things I'm suuuper competitive in so I feel you. And I suppose it is pricey to keep up on. That's cool you've been able to go to events though, I haven't had the chance to get to something like that in ages. Few opportunities where I live, or I'd going a heartbeat just to spectate. Love that kind of environment, with everyone sharing in a mutual passion. Really cool vibe. So Imm a bit jealous.