My Partial Hanging Setup

[Suwakoto]

Have previously attempted PSH multiple times and haven't been successful yet. I'm unable to access a firearm, and don't have immediate access to a high enough anchor for FSH, plus I don't need to immediately CTB, so partial seems to be my best bet. I'd like to know if it's something wrong with my setup or if I just haven't overcome SI.

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I'm male weighing ~170lb. I've taken Ibuprofen and melatonin as sedation, planning to drink alcohol too. My current ligature is a 1/2 in x 6 ft nylon/polyester blend rope, graded to hold twice my weight, tied to a study anchor point.

For the noose, I originally made a slipknot following this video:


But starting today I followed the following guide, which has resulted in a "better" (tighter on the neck) noose.



I typically place the noose slightly below the Adam's apple. I've tried placing it above the Adam's apple, though this is more difficult to endure so I do it less often, as well as the base of the neck. I put my head in, looking down, pre-tighten the noose. Then I breathe deeply, hold my breath, and try to get to position as quick/hard as possible, pushing forward with my neck. I've tried all three positions in this thread, as well as both of the standing and kneeling positions in this post.

The most successful I've been was today: I used the tighter knot described above, going with the "standing with tippy toes and bending my knees down" position, or "sitting with straight knees" position on the first thread I mentioned. With double-folded socks placed on the caratoids, I was able to consistently reach the dizzy+euphoric state that's described in other posts, but backed out each time due to SI. When I accidentally placed a sock near the trachea I felt unable to breathe, so this is probably(?) enough pressure, at least when I'm actively pushing with my neck. Note that I only tried a few times today.

I've noticed three main reasons why I've failed so far:

1. Obvious failures: Not enough pressure (either not restricting bloodflow at all, or getting the exploding head feeling). Also, if I recently ate or took ibuprofen I'd get stomaches, although this is pretty easy to avoid.

2. I push with my neck for 20-30 seconds or so, then become unable to apply any more force with my neck, but I still remain conscious/semi-conscious. Afterwards the noose loosens since I wasn't applying enough body weight, made a shift which caused the noose to loosen, or feel the urge to breathe which also creates a gap in the noose. I don't think this has happened yet since I started using the tigher knot + socks setup today, but not sure.

3. Survival instinct - I can't take the pressure, standing back up or adjusting my neck so blood can flood through.

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There are still a few things I need to try: alcohol, metal buckles (how?), and trying not to "puff out" my neck as I push. Otherwise, from what I've researched, this *should* be OK, but I'd like to know if there's a mistake I'm making in my approach or if it's now just about overcoming SI.

 

[Suwakoto]

After some "experimentation", here's my notes on the various positions I tried today. Used a slipknot as described above, with the knot on my nape, noose placed below the Adam's apple, using socks as padding for most but not all tries. No alcohol or melantonin, just 1x ibuprofen, used a beeping timer to count seconds.

• Sitting on a chair, kneeling (on the ground) high, half kneeling: When combined with socks in the carotids, it's very easy for me to reach the pleasurable feeling by applying force with my neck, and it's barely painful, but I don't fall unconscious even after 30 seconds. Either I'm in a position where body weight pressure alone is not sufficient (sitting), or I eventually have to stop leaning forward and return to a neutral position where the noose loosens (kneeling). NOTE: When kneeling on the ground, I could barely lean forward due to my ligature not being long enough / anchor point being too high.
• Sitting in the air, either knees bent or knees straight, using a chair behind as support: I think it has potential. With the knees bent position, I definitely felt enough pressure but felt the need to breathe and backed out after 15 seconds.
• Standing on tippy toes, lowered knees (as #2 in the hanging megathread): When enough pressure is applied, I typically get the same problems as kneeling, where I reset to a 'neutral' safe position after unable to hold position.
• Standing on tippy toes, leaning as far forward as possible then moving feet back: There was one try where I had potential similar to sitting in the air (lasted ~15 secs, felt dizzy and pleasurable with enough pressure on my neck).
• Standing on tippy toes, with noose tied high enough so I felt constriction while fully upright: Unsuccessful. I couldn't look down and all I felt was the rope hurting even after 10 seconds, the most I could endure.

Need to try in the future: focus more on having my body weight apply enough force on my neck, and leaning my body to get to a position, instead of just pushing down with my neck,

I also had a scuffed FSH set-up, tying the ligature so the noose is as far up as possible, which I'm not sure if it's even high enough to keep my body suspended after thrashing, which is why I said FSH was impossible on the first post. But I couldn't go through with it and never let myself fully suspend on the noose, out of fearing the pain. I either couldn't step off or was holding on to the anchor point and was unable to let go.

To me that FSH attempt proves that I'm just not suited (yet? at all?) to CTB by either partial or full hanging. It's been about a week since I've officially been fired from my job for reasons I'm entirely responsible for - during a convo I lashed out and make threats and got very very angry. While I still want to CTB analytically, since finding a job is so difficult especially with the AI threat, AND I don't know how to prevent lashing out in the future, on the emotional side it's not as intense anymore. I'm not fine, but I am slowly recovering and regaining hope, and during periods of stability I've been thinking about how to "get out" of my bad situation. (Note: I am not in immediate financial pressure due to living with parents.) Even on the day I got fired I was unable to succeed PSH, though it was less refined than what I'm doing now.

 

[Suwakoto]

Yeah, as implied in my last post I gave up PSH a while ago. I'm no longer in an emotional state where I can pull it off, I can no longer tolerate the initial pain required for a successful attempt, nor tolerate the discomfort/resist SI. Right now I'm in "survival mode" where I'm looking for ways out of the hole I dug and making the best of what I have. In part because I currently have no viable methods, in part because I'm actually better emotionally, feeling genuine happiness when I thought I'd never feel it again, and not actively thinking about attempting.

To re-clarify the reasons why an attempt failed:

• I'm obviously not applying enough pressure.
• I last for ~30 seconds without going unconscious, then either I stop applying force on my neck, breathe so that the noose loosens, or re-position my body so that I'm in a "safe" position (I stop leaning forward) where I'm no longer in danger. This is a subset of "I'm not applying enough pressure", likely b/c my body weight alone wasn't applying enough pressure in that position.
• I got the "correct(?)" feeling - pain for a few seconds, then a generally pleasant lightheaded feeling that comes with discomfort, but don't last long enough (presumably for SI reasons or because body weight wasn't enough). Either I get the sudden urge to breathe after 10-15 seconds, doing so loosens the noose enough for blood flow to resume, or I just couldn't endure long enough and needed to back out by standing up or adjusting.
• I feel my airways constricted so I have to stop.

I never went unconscious from a single attempt. There were times where I "let go" and felt less aware and unable to continue applying force but these obviously failed.

To future readers: PSH as a method should not be complicated. But it's easy to back out from, and as my previous posts demonstrate, I've had difficulty getting to the correct circumstances. Even after getting the "correct" feeling I couldn't replicate it the next day until after hours of trying. Although during most of said attempts I was pushing as much as possible instead of letting body weight do its work.