What's keeping you alive?

[m1v]

What is still keeping you alive today? We surely must all have at least one reason. I think most of the people's reasons are slowly fading away and even disappearing. Which is why they happen to be there.

I had 2 reasons, one of them is almost completely gone. I'm basically holding onto a thread.

 

[NoLongerHuman.]

Fear of being caught in the middle of the act.
Caring about what pelple think of me after death (I.e, my dad being disappointed that his care couldnt keep me alive and him blaming himself)
Fear of a painful, slow way out.
Also fear of guns.
The strongest one is best friend. We are both suicidal and keeping each other alive. Once one of us die either ctb or some other means, the other will.

 

[EmpathyMinded]

What is still keeping you alive today? We surely must all have at least one reason. I think most of the people's reasons are slowly fading away and even disappearing. Which is why they happen to be there.

I had 2 reasons, one of them is almost completely gone. I'm basically holding onto a thread.

What is the one you still have?

 

[m1v]

a competitive card game.

Do you play yogioh too? A bit off-topic, but tell me your top favourite pokemons, i mostly know those from gen 3>

 

[EmpathyMinded]

Do you play yogioh too? A bit off-topic, but tell me your top favourite pokemons, i mostly know those from gen 3>

I know that wasn't directed at me, but just wanted to say it's cool you like Pokemon, I'm a huge fan myself. Would love to hear some of your own favorites. My top two are Minior and Volcarona.

 

[m1v]

What is the one you still have?

ah? video games. the one that's slowly fading away is friends, I'm either too needy or they don't care about me anymore. Thanks for asking <3 What about you, if you haven't mentioned it yet.

 

[LigottiSchopenhauer]

The knowledge that I can kill myself at any moment I want to, thanks to my .44 magnum. It's an incredibly liberating feeling to know that you can CTB any time. It gives me the confidence to do whatever I want before I die.

 

[EmpathyMinded]

ah? video games. the one that's slowly fading away is friends, I'm either too needy or they don't care about me anymore. Thanks for asking <3 What about you, if you haven't mentioned it yet.

Only have a few friends left myself. Trying to work on finding more, but that's easier said than done. When I've been down to one thread, games for me too. It's nice getting lost in a world that's different from the one that's hurt me, where there is more color, and what you do impacts the world. I don't care how real it is or isn't it gives me peace and that's all that matters. I couldn't care less if others look fown on it. I'm glad it brings you some solace too, we're kindred spirits in that way.

 

[dreamscape1111]

An indescribably loving and ever-present Awareness! It holds all beings and is in all beings for Eternity, love you all.

 

[m1v]

I know that wasn't directed at me, but just wanted to say it's cool you like Pokemon, I'm a huge fan myself. Would love to hear some of your own favorites. My top two are Minior and Volcarona.

Only have a few friends left myself. Trying to work on finding more, but that's easier said than done. When I've been down to one thread, games for me too. It's nice getting lost in a world that's different from the one that's hurt me, where there is more color, and what you do impacts the world. I don't care how real it is or isn't it gives me peace and that's all that matters. I couldn't care less if others look fown on it. I'm glad it brings you some solace too, we're kindred spirits in that way.

Cute-looking pokemons, that's awesome. personally, my favorite ones are Dewgong, he was my main in pokemon red. Finally, latias & latios from gen 3. They're the best!

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks the same way, as long as it brings peace and enjoyment, real or not. Sometimes I think that my personality isn't even the problem why my friends don't care about me that much anymore, they just found other people that are better than me. Much love

 

[EmpathyMinded]

Cute-looking pokemons, that's awesome. personally, my favorite ones are Dewgong, he was my main in pokemon red. Finally, latias & latios from gen 3. They're the best!

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks the same way, as long as it brings peace and enjoyment, real or not. Sometimes I think that my personality isn't even the problem why my friends don't care about me that much anymore, they just found other people that are better than me. Much love

They didn't find better people than you. Maybe they found people that spoke to their needs in life more, or maybe they are just bad friends. In any case, their feelings don't get to define the quality of friend you are, or the quality of person you are. I have zero doubts that you are a good friend, and maybe you just need people you can bond over more in life with.

And interesting choices. I don't see Dewgong get a ton of love, so that's cool to see. And the Lati twins were a great pair. I always saw Latias more since I played more Sapphire than Ruby. Both are awesome though.

 

[searchingpeace]

My internal organs: cardiovascular system, respiratory/metabolic system etc.
As much as I want for them to STOP working, I am forced to exist until my SN order arrives.

 

[murmur]

Im still having trouble settling on a method, I would prefer to not impose too heavily with a messy/locationally ill death, though if a sure-fire opportunity happen to come about I would take it for luck and try to be as considerate as i can, being that I lack the independence to acquire lethal prescriptions or a firearm on my own, i must act accordingly. I go about everyday as if it may be my last in a sense, I feel somewhat lucky that I'm not particularly in a circumstance that would make me rush but, its not entirely outside the realm of possibility because I've had my world turned upside down plenty.
It is strange I'm still here, I really did not want to live to be 21, it was very upsetting when I had everything planned out, i even moved and stayed at a hotel but feared that my only means to do it would've come with the high risk of surviving and therefore being ostracized or at best being seen as some burdensome case to tip toe around

 

[innominesatanas44]

I want my team to win the stanley. :^)

 

[Alcoholic Failure]

What is still keeping you alive today? We surely must all have at least one reason. I think most of the people's reasons are slowly fading away and even disappearing. Which is why they happen to be there.

I had 2 reasons, one of them is almost completely gone. I'm basically holding onto a thread.

I hold on because I know the impact it will have on my family. I have my parents, and 6 siblings, including a twin brother.
I also have 2 children, but I do not know when I will be able to even make contact, I have been barred by the courts.
I know that my death would devastate those people.
My daily battle has between that realization, and the realization that I have created a life that is insufferable.

 

[tinyteefs]

I'm just waiting until someone tells me if my method is a good way to CTB, then I'm gone.

 

[Thisisme373]

The knowledge that I can kill myself at any moment I want to, thanks to my .44 magnum. It's an incredibly liberating feeling to know that you can CTB any time. It gives me the confidence to do whatever I want before I die.

I honestly envy you

 

[wtg]

What is still keeping you alive today? We surely must all have at least one reason. I think most of the people's reasons are slowly fading away and even disappearing. Which is why they happen to be there.

I had 2 reasons, one of them is almost completely gone. I'm basically holding onto a thread.

Too much of a pussy to ctb

 

[DreamEnd]

Family

 

[Librarian]

I'm waiting to move out of my mother's home to do it. I already have a method and the resources to execute it.

 

[mia.wallace]

My parents, whom I love dearly

 

[loyalskateboard]

Mostly a fear of pain and lack of motivation to organise a painless method. I am giving myself this year to improve my life and if it continues to fall apart, I'm out. I might just have to organise some drugs to reduce my anxiety when the time comes.

 

[bluebird16]

Because I can't find a seller that ships SN to my country. And parents.

 

[thrutrekfinaly]

For a bit I was staying alive for my wife, but due to recent discoveries I'm now only staying alive long enough for one last good moment. I think it's a shame to be alive and not witness certain things. Basically I'd like to get to Switzerland and maybe Italy, once I've done that I think I could reasonably concluded my life. Though it doesn't look like I'll be able to accomplish it due to finances so I might have to settle with hiking the Appalachian trail. I'd really would love to get to Switzerland, it look so beautiful , I just want to experience it before I die. But I'm doubting it'll happen.

family. they'd care if I ctb'd. it's the only reason I'm still around.
I honestly believe my parents care enough to raise me well but it doesn't really change the fact that this world's a dystopia. all I can really do is distract myself as much as possible.

I can really relate to the dystopian reality/nightmare we are currently living in. Felt this way my whole life. I guess besides my wife, my mom would be very sad but there is still no avoiding what I've decided to do in the future. Someone else's sadness over my death should have no weight over my decision to end my own suffering. I think forcing ppl to live simply cause you want them around is a cruel concept, though many feel it's out of love. Anyways, I want one last good moment before I let go. Though I'm in great pain all the time, I'd like to experience seeing Switzerland with my own eyes before I go. Once I accomplish that I really don't care what happens to me. But if I can't accomplish it I figure I'd settle with hiking the Appalachian trail. Though recently I've been planning my own funeral in a note book, music I'd like to be playing, food I want to be there, and even a custom designer cake. This might be morbid but it's one of the few times I feel happy or even complete; planning this funeral/party.

The knowledge that I can kill myself at any moment I want to, thanks to my .44 magnum. It's an incredibly liberating feeling to know that you can CTB any time. It gives me the confidence to do whatever I want before I die.

.lol .44 will do it no doubt. I have a 9mm and a shotgun, the shot gun is to messy of a prospect for me to do it with that(though i want to be creamated, it's just a mess for others to pick up or walk into) the 9mm I'm afraid won't be catastrophic enough to kill me instantly, like, what if I end up brain dead, but if I had a .44 or even a 45, yeah man I'd feel real liberated. Lol. I'd be dead already. However I am trying to come up with a way die in my sleep but if all else fails I'll just use my 9mm after having a cocktail of my benzos and favorite scotch.

 

[LigottiSchopenhauer]

.lol .44 will do it no doubt. I have a 9mm and a shotgun, the shot gun is to messy of a prospect for me to do it with that(though i want to be creamated, it's just a mess for others to pick up or walk into) the 9mm I'm afraid won't be catastrophic enough to kill me instantly, like, what if I end up brain dead, but if I had a .44 or even a 45, yeah man I'd feel real liberated. Lol. I'd be dead already. However I am trying to come up with a way die in my sleep but if all else fails I'll just use my 9mm after having a cocktail of my benzos and favorite scotch.

A 9mm should still do the job as long as you aim it properly toward the brainstem. But if I were you I'd go with the shotgun. Sure, it's messy, but it's not your fault that the only reliable CTB methods available are gory. If we lived in a more enlightened society, you and I would both be able to easily procure some lethal injection that could kill us without leaving a mess. Sadly, that's not the world we live in. The fact that you're forced to kill yourself in a bloody and gross way is the fault of pro-lifers, not you.

 

[Qua]

My mom, I can't leave her, she wouldn't make it

 

[ejt]

My animals are the main reason I'm here. I actually think my dogs would be ok without me but my bird is strongly bonded to me and no one else. The other big reason I haven't acted yet is because I don't feel like I have a reliable method and I don't want to do it unless I have a high chance of succeeding.

 

[shadowfinal311]

Final Fantasy 16 is keeping me around. It's coming out next week. Will be the last game I buy. Once I beat it, it'll be time to CTB.

 

[oh_no191]

This is so embarrassing but hoping my ex come back to me

 

[am1485]

Hoping my ex will come back to me also is keeping me alive.

Other than that, just not having the right feeling to CTB yet. I've come really close though.

 

[JJMaynard97]

This is so embarrassing but hoping my ex come back to me

Me too, I hope that My Ex Girlfriend will Love me again. I hope you find some sort of comfort.