What would your friends and family say if they knew you were on SaSu

[bipbapbop]

My husband knows. So long as I don't ctb while he is alive - and I won't - he has no problem with it. A few other people know too, and they don't care either.

That is kind of you to consider your husband. Does he understand how you are feeling or is he just aware of how you feel?

 

[maidens]

What do you mean "game over"? Would they kill you?

no lol, I'd probably be "lectured" then thrown in a psych ward for a really long time

That must feel so great to be able to talk to friends about it! I'm so jealous. Unfortunately, I'm a terribly private person even irl so I have never been able to make online friends.

Game over? Like they would section you or cut off access to SaSu?

psych ward first, then my internet access would probably be heavily monitored. definitely cut off access to sasu

 

[Linda]

That is kind of you to consider your husband. Does he understand how you are feeling or is he just aware of how you feel?

My situation is that I will ctb if he dies before me, because I wont want to continue iving without him. But, unlike most users of this site, I'm under no pressure to ctb before then. I'm not especially enthusiastic about life, and never have been, but I get enough out of life that it's worth getting up each morning. So my being here is no threat at all to him.

 

[Chronosphere]

Probably smth about "suicide cult" and me being "brainwashed".

 

[Dark Moon]

Eh, they would wonder why I'm here, think that I'm wasting my time here and probably get me to go see the doctors or the mental health teams.

I don't really have friends though.

 

[vampire2002]

i think they'd give me the usual spiel about how it'll get better someday and it'll all be okay.
or in my mom's case, she just won't believe i actually have the guts to go through with it, as she said before. to be fair, she is currently right, but i'm trying to build up the courage.
i think my bf would be the most understanding, of course still sad to find out, but honestly is the most likely person to talk me out of it. always has before.

 

[bipbapbop]

My situation is that I will ctb if he dies before me, because I wont want to continue iving without him. But, unlike most users of this site, I'm under no pressure to ctb before then. I'm not especially enthusiastic about life, and never have been, but I get enough out of life that it's worth getting up each morning. So my being here is no threat at all to him.

That's really interesting. Why are you here if you don't mind me asking? I think it's fascinating the different people who are active here.

Personally, I am desperate for the pain to end and this forum is helpful in reassuring me that it's okay to feel this way and that I have resources that will help me get there. I don't know if I would spend time here if I wasn't ready to go.

 

[gorexzxz]

Its a mix bag from me. My mum wouldn't really care she would do her little cry and shouting but the next day she would return to her neglectfully self. My dad would dismiss it and not really care and would gonna on about his life he has other children and a wife to take care of. My sister would be up set and her knowing I'm on her would hurt her a lot.

 

[Abyssal]

"Get off that site right now!"

He knows I have suicidal tendencies, but he also knows there's nothing he can do to help. Being on here definitely enables me, but I don't view that as bad. He will never try to understand that though.

 

[Eudaimonic]

My mom found out accidentally, then told my dad. Perhaps unsurprisingly, they did not approve, even after I explained to them that the site was not just for methods. Initially, my mom was very concerned. She kept telling me to stay off the website, monitored the websites I visited, suggested I try an outpatient program, implored me to talk about it with my therapist, and even went so far as to email my therapist about it without my consent. However, she seems to have calmed down about it and probably thinks I'm no longer on this website.

 

[Linda]

That's really interesting. Why are you here if you don't mind me asking? I think it's fascinating the different people who are active here.

Personally, I am desperate for the pain to end and this forum is helpful in reassuring me that it's okay to feel this way and that I have resources that will help me get there. I don't know if I would spend time here if I wasn't ready to go.

I answered that question in my introductory post when I joined the site. I found SaSu by accident, noticed that some of the information that was being posted on one particular topic was incorrect and potentially dangerous, so I became a member so that I could provide better information on that topic. My own attitude to suicide matches the ethos of this site exactly, and I came very close to ctb once in my life, long ago, so I understand the situation that many users find themselves in. I stay in the hope that I can be helpful. There aren't many older people here, so I can offer a perspective that would otherwise be missing.

 

[Forest Fire]

My brother knows that i post on a suicide discussion forum but i've not told him the name of the site. I had a long talk with him about all things to do with the subject and he says if this place helps me then i should use it.
One friend also knows what my brother knows and he's supportive too.
Neither of them are suicidal (from what they say to me anyway) but both are properly sound people and both could understand how my mindset has ended up this way when i explained to them the things that had to happen for me to get to this point.
There's probably 2 people i could tell at work and theyd have similar responses but i think everyone else would either laugh it off, shout at me, or start crying and not actually hear me out why i am on this site

 

[thenamingofcats]

Probably to stop being dramatic

 

[ijustwishtodie]

My parents would probably start crying and breaking down in front of me as they love me and don't want me to be dead. They would also try to gaslight me into thinking that life is beautiful. Though, because they're asian, they would also tell everybody they know about it without considering whether I want them to tell others about it or not... they would also be overprotective as hell and restrict my freedom immensely to where I wouldn't even have the opportunity to kill myself. Oh, also, because they're religious, they may tell me about how it is a big sin for me to kill myself and how I'd go to hell for eternity and blah blah blah. Also, my parents would get me off this site immediately and also immediately get me to pursue mental health help via therapists and perhaps even nice familial activities. They would repeat to me everyday about how beautiful life is

Honestly, I don't even care how my parents would react after my suicide if I were to succeed. If they didn't want to deal with grief, they should have never gave birth to me to begin with. It's that simple.

Oh also, I have no friends so I can't really comment on that aspect

 

[bipbapbop]

I answered that question in my introductory post when I joined the site. I found SaSu by accident, noticed that some of the information that was being posted on one particular topic was incorrect and potentially dangerous, so I became a member so that I could provide better information on that topic. My own attitude to suicide matches the ethos of this site exactly, and I came very close to ctb once in my life, long ago, so I understand the situation that many users find themselves in. I stay in the hope that I can be helpful. There aren't many older people here, so I can offer a perspective that would otherwise be missing.

I just went and read your introduction and it brought me to tears. You write with such kindness and understanding about the pain of others. It's something I have not yet found in my own life. Thank you for being around. Your presence is a comfort to me.

My mom found out accidentally, then told my dad. Perhaps unsurprisingly, they did not approve, even after I explained to them that the site was not just for methods. Initially, my mom was very concerned. She kept telling me to stay off the website, monitored the websites I visited, suggested I try an outpatient program, implored me to talk about it with my therapist, and even went so far as to email my therapist about it without my consent. However, she seems to have calmed down about it and probably thinks I'm no longer on this website.

How did they find out? Your experience sounds exactly like what I expect would happen to a lot of people. I'm sorry you had to live it.

My parents would probably start crying and breaking down in front of me as they love me and don't want me to be dead. They would also try to gaslight me into thinking that life is beautiful. Though, because they're asian, they would also tell everybody they know about it without considering whether I want them to tell others about it or not... they would also be overprotective as hell and restrict my freedom immensely to where I wouldn't even have the opportunity to kill myself. Oh, also, because they're religious, they may tell me about how it is a big sin for me to kill myself and how I'd go to hell for eternity and blah blah blah. Also, my parents would get me off this site immediately and also immediately get me to pursue mental health help via therapists and perhaps even nice familial activities. They would repeat to me everyday about how beautiful life is

Honestly, I don't even care how my parents would react after my suicide if I were to succeed. If they didn't want to deal with grief, they should have never gave birth to me to begin with. It's that simple.

Oh also, I have no friends so I can't really comment on that aspect

Sounds Asian. (I'm Asian, not religious tho tg)

Sorry you have such restrictive parents. Sounds like a nightmare.

 

[Eudaimonic]

How did they find out? Your experience sounds exactly like what I expect would happen to a lot of people. I'm sorry you had to live it.

I'm just glad they didn't have me involuntarily committed lol, but yes, the experience was quite unpleasant and stressful. I'm very glad she's let up. Tbh, I've since forgotten what exactly happened, but I think I was using the family computer and stupidly went on this site a few times for some reason, and then forgot to close the window since I got distracted, lol. It was very careless, imprudent, and could been easily avoided, ik. I've since been a lot more careful. I always use a VPN and avoid browsing it on shared devices, though sometimes I forget to turn the VPN on, or it stops working temporarily; I usually get very anxious when that happens. By far the most frustrating and distressing thing--apart from her finding out--was emailing my therapist when I explicitly stated that I did not want to talk about it with them, and then having my therapist inquire as to whether I was actively suicidal. I am, but I don't have a plan (yet). However, it was still a stressful and nerve-wracking experience. I am deathly afraid of saying the wrong thing and being involuntarily committed, hence why I avoid the topic altogether. There is no point in discussing my suicidality with a mental health professional when it's of the egosyntonic sort and when I derive great comfort from the thoughts (except for not being able to attempt, which does cause me much distress).

 

[CharAznable54]

I spend so much of my time here and I really feel safe talking to everyone here about the very difficult things that I am experiencing. However, it bothers me that the people in my life whom I am closest to will never know. I love them, but I am also afraid of them. I live alone so it's not that hard to hide it from everyone, but I wish I could share some of the incredible things that I have learned here. So many of you have shared such thought provoking insights into humanity and life that I would love to discuss with the people in my life, but I know they would be so worried and possibly angry if they knew I was here at all.

Does anyone else feel this massive disconnect between life on SaSu and irl?

Also, feel free to move this to Offtopic if it doesn't belong here, mods.

They'd probably call me an idiot and tell me I have a lot to live for if they've seen the shit I've been posting here
Honestly though I'd understand the reaction. I just hope I never get it.

 

[Jorms_McGander]

Lol the most obnoxious example and the one I have to put up with most often in the last decade would be a rant about how globalists are making me want to kill myself so that north Africans and punjabis can take over the country I live in by immigrating here and having kids and jobs and neighbourhoods

The best might be some droll offer to listen given by somebody who's missed the boat for almost 40 years... Friends I have made on my own who I come to talk of as adopted family would be accepting. One would be in pieces; she's a reason to exist in that I have set a bar for myself to do as much processing work as I can with people who are receptive before I go.

 

[ForgottenAgain]

My boyfriend knows I'm on Sasu and has seen some posts. He thinks some people are extremists but appreciates the compassion from the overall community and understands some things like the right to die. He installed Boo to try and make friends because of a suggestion from a member from here, to a post I created about how to make friends.

 

[LunarLight]

My partner knows I'm here. They don't judge me.
They know I'm on the verge of killing myself. They know they can't do anything. That gives them anxiety. But also, I think they're in denial, like, they don't know I got SN, and it must feel unreal to them that I'm about to kill myself.

 

[weakandscared]

I spend so much of my time here and I really feel safe talking to everyone here about the very difficult things that I am experiencing. However, it bothers me that the people in my life whom I am closest to will never know. I love them, but I am also afraid of them. I live alone so it's not that hard to hide it from everyone, but I wish I could share some of the incredible things that I have learned here. So many of you have shared such thought provoking insights into humanity and life that I would love to discuss with the people in my life, but I know they would be so worried and possibly angry if they knew I was here at all.

Does anyone else feel this massive disconnect between life on SaSu and irl?

Also, feel free to move this to Offtopic if it doesn't belong here, mods.

put me in a psych ward again

 

[divinemistress36]

My situation is that I will ctb if he dies before me, because I wont want to continue iving without him. But, unlike most users of this site, I'm under no pressure to ctb before then. I'm not especially enthusiastic about life, and never have been, but I get enough out of life that it's worth getting up each morning. So my being here is no threat at all to him.

It's helpful getting advice and wisdom from the older crew on here

 

[Abditory]

I spend so much of my time here and I really feel safe talking to everyone here about the very difficult things that I am experiencing. However, it bothers me that the people in my life whom I am closest to will never know. I love them, but I am also afraid of them. I live alone so it's not that hard to hide it from everyone, but I wish I could share some of the incredible things that I have learned here. So many of you have shared such thought provoking insights into humanity and life that I would love to discuss with the people in my life, but I know they would be so worried and possibly angry if they knew I was here at all.

Does anyone else feel this massive disconnect between life on SaSu and irl?

Also, feel free to move this to Offtopic if it doesn't belong here, mods.

One of my friends already found out and expressed their worries but also how stupid it was. They also mentioned how if any of our other friends found out that they'd definitely turn on me and hate me

 

[sammiechzxv]

I guess they'd just be worried about me, I'm never open about my mental health

 

[Blue Elephant]

I was watching Hannah Gadsby's Nanette last night and there was a quote that I think embodies my life very well.

"When you soak a child in shame they cannot develop the neurological pathways that carry thoughts, you know, thoughts of self worth."

When I had the energy to keep going, I was really optimistic that I could learn to live without shame some day, but now I am just tired.

I really appreciate your kindness. This is what I love about this place.

That is a beautiful quote! Actually something quite similar is happening to everyone all the time. Humans could live in the moment enjoying what truly is, they could study useful things, they could do sports and meditate, but they can't do that since their minds are soaked with thoughts of how to make money, how to acquire as much stuff as possible, how to stay safe from all the would-be crisises etc..

And I appreciate you taking the time to reply. Thank you! : )

 

[mapleboy]

My partner knows I'm on SaSu and strongly dislikes discussing topics regarding suicide with me. It makes me feel really lonely because I have no one else to share certain thoughts and opinions with.

 

[HereTomorrow]

My family would probably force me back to therapy (despite being an adult), force me to self-ban here, and tell me how I shouldn't trust people online and should trust them instead. I made an email in my teen years until I gave them my login, saying they wouldn't judge but check my emails for "suicidial intent" and when I was in therapy my therapist even agreed with them to surrender my login. If they find my account here I would probably just CTB the next free chance I get.

As for my friends, I feel like most would probably just say "I care about you but we shouldn't be friends anymore, go to therapy" and maybe one or two might stick around but who would want to be friends with someone considering suicide?

 

[Linda]

My family would probably force me back to therapy (despite being an adult), force me to self-ban here, and tell me how I shouldn't trust people online and should trust them instead. I made an email in my teen years until I gave them my login, saying they wouldn't judge but check my emails for "suicidial intent" and when I was in therapy my therapist even agreed with them to surrender my login. If they find my account here I would probably just CTB the next free chance I get.

As for my friends, I feel like most would probably just say "I care about you but we shouldn't be friends anymore, go to therapy" and maybe one or two might stick around but who would want to be friends with someone considering suicide?

"... who would want to be friends with someone considering suicide? " Almost everyone here. You are not alone.

 

[bookgirl]

I would get a one-way ticket to the psych ward

 

[Linda]

One of my friends already found out and expressed their worries but also how stupid it was. They also mentioned how if any of our other friends found out that they'd definitely turn on me and hate me

Perhaps you need to find different friends. Real friends will accept you for who you are.