Discussion What do you think your family or friend's reactions would be if they knew you were frequenting this website? Any close calls or confrontations?

[birdie8]

What do you think your family or friend's reactions would be if they knew you were frequenting this website? Have any of your loved ones found out you're here, or almost have?

For me, I predict my family would accuse me of being erratic and entirely overdramatic. In our culture, mental health is seen as a personal weakness that's entirely optional. It makes me laugh, because if it was optional do they think I'd choose to be like this? The person I'd fear the most discovering this is my fiancé. I've done everything in my power to hide my involvement in this site from him, as I truly think he'd be upset and devastated. I feel awful for him, having a perpetually sad partner who's unstable and suicidal. Sometimes I fear he's only still with me in fear I'll do something if he leaves, but I also know it does genuinely hurt him deeply that I'm struggling this.

Accidentally, I somehow had emails turned on for this website and didn't realize - Fiancé nearly saw a notification when we were checking my email for some work related news. I managed to distract him and swipe it away, archiving it before he could register what the email said or see the title. I'm thankful he didn't see anything, because often times I'm grateful for the anonymity and freedom that this website gives us to discuss such taboo topics and thoughts. It's good to know I can freely express thoughts like these without worrying about being institutionalized. For you guys, I hope this website continues to be a safe space for your thoughts: We deserve something to ourselves in this shitty world.

 

[Cepheuss]

Its unfortunate how non suicidal people cant see how much a space like this can help people like us. Instead they're scared of it.

If my family found out theyd agree with ofcom they would support the site getting taken down and be ashamed i was on here

I dont know about my friends theyd probably just forget about it and not mention it

 

[Merocero]

I think my family would be disturbed, especially since i "dont seem" depressed to them,, friends wouldnt probably care much i guess? since theyre also depressed eh

 

[BradGuy123]

They would be really surprised. Then they would freak out. They would express lots of concern for me afraid that I was actively planning to ctb. It would be a huge deal and I wouldn't hear the end of it for a long time. That's why I only go to this site on my laptop when I'm home alone and why I use the Tor browser to access it. I created a separate email address to use for this forum and I don't have email notifications turned on.

 

[Spite]

It's something I worry about sometimes. I think my wife would be frightened and horrified if she ever knew I'm on here. My family would probably be much the same - very concerned for me, distressed.

I'm here because I seriously feel like there is nowhere else I can go to talk about my deepest thoughts without being judged or scrutinized for it. I hate that suicide is such a social taboo.

 

[violetforever]

im pretty sure i would be disowned and called demonic. no worrying, just judgement for not being normal.

 

[Mr.Ruben]

probably get in an argument with parents, although in lots of friends who would tell me to move on to something better, there will be one person worried enough to try to get in my house, cool person.

 

[Kokonoe]

only a few people know i use this site.
one is my oldest sister, at least i think she knows, and really i've never been concerned about her knowing. there isn't anything i could ever do to drive her off, and certainly not something like this.

the other is one of my few friends i have, and i met her off here, so, not really a big deal. she doesn't use the site anymore bc her life got a lot better (very happy for her), but sometimes she would stalk my posts here when she was worried about me, which made me really uncomfortable tbh.

my irl friend also knows i use this site bc i was just be on it infront of her lol. she's also suicidal so she doesn't judge. but like my other friend she also will sometimes look for my posts here when she's worried about me, which is upsetting.

so thankfully i don't have too much to worry about, other than what feels like small breaches in privacy. but the one thing i do really worry about is if my oldest sister saw my posts considering how much i talk about her. i think she would realize that it's me very quickly and i'm pretty scared of the consequences of that happening..

 

[SASU-KE]

They'll be like "Ah,that makes sense".

I've caught myself in the middle of a 1000 yard stare many times. On rare occasions people have asked me if anything was wrong. I'd imagine it wouldn't come too much of a surprise to them if they knew I was using this website.

 

[caotic_realm]

Since I am of legal age, they know that I am an adult who, using my faculties and with a certain lucidity of knowing that I am free while alive, uses this site as a way to vent and also to take a look at the methods... No, they don't say anything to me, nor would they say anything to me.

I feel sorry for the underage people who lie and use this site...

 

[birdie8]

Its unfortunate how non suicidal people cant see how much a space like this can help people like us. Instead they're scared of it.

If my family found out theyd agree with ofcom they would support the site getting taken down and be ashamed i was on here

I dont know about my friends theyd probably just forget about it and not mention it

Having a place where we can freely discuss these feelings is incredibly special and beneficial. I wish more people saw the good in what these spaces can do.

It's something I worry about sometimes. I think my wife would be frightened and horrified if she ever knew I'm on here. My family would probably be much the same - very concerned for me, distressed.

I'm here because I seriously feel like there is nowhere else I can go to talk about my deepest thoughts without being judged or scrutinized for it. I hate that suicide is such a social taboo.

I resonate with your reply deeply! For some of us, these thoughts are perpetual and we need a space to freely get our deepest feelings off our chest. Especially when the guilt of having to hide these thoughts from your partner or loved ones is so heavy to carry. The more we talk about these things, the better we can understand them. For better or for worse, haha. Sending you love!

 

[Agnes Tachyon]

my mom once found a suicide note i dedicated to her accidentally, was going through some shit at that time. she just cried and asked me to 'forget about it.' eh, i dont think she doesnt care about me, she just dont know how to deal with me, shes catholic too, so i think she just think praying to god will magically fix me somehow. i am so used to her minimizing or not caring enough about my feelings that i barely feel hurt anymore, she wont ever listen to me, but i hated seeing her cry, i must admit..​

i just... dont think she has the emotional intelligence to be a mother, that's all. the same with the rest of my family, they don't know how to deal with my shit.

edit: wrong word

 

[itsgone2]

Family would call 911. Very little family left.
Coworkers a bigger risk. I check it at work. I'd think it was seen at least once

 

[notreallybored]

ב''ה,

Unable to care / hoping for a payout.

 

[bloodmoonhypothesis]

they saw once, starting getting distressed, spewing religious shit on how suicide is wrong, asking "whats even bad in ur life, just tell us" as if they didnt ruin the hell out of it

 

[valar_morghulis21]

What do you think your family or friend's reactions would be if they knew you were frequenting this website? Have any of your loved ones found out you're here, or almost have?

For me, I predict my family would accuse me of being erratic and entirely overdramatic. In our culture, mental health is seen as a personal weakness that's entirely optional. It makes me laugh, because if it was optional do they think I'd choose to be like this? The person I'd fear the most discovering this is my fiancé. I've done everything in my power to hide my involvement in this site from him, as I truly think he'd be upset and devastated. I feel awful for him, having a perpetually sad partner who's unstable and suicidal. Sometimes I fear he's only still with me in fear I'll do something if he leaves, but I also know it does genuinely hurt him deeply that I'm struggling this.

Accidentally, I somehow had emails turned on for this website and didn't realize - Fiancé nearly saw a notification when we were checking my email for some work related news. I managed to distract him and swipe it away, archiving it before he could register what the email said or see the title. I'm thankful he didn't see anything, because often times I'm grateful for the anonymity and freedom that this website gives us to discuss such taboo topics and thoughts. It's good to know I can freely express thoughts like these without worrying about being institutionalized. For you guys, I hope this website continues to be a safe space for your thoughts: We deserve something to ourselves in this shitty world.

My parents can't read English so no problem with that. LMAO if acquaintances see this they probably gonna be concerned and look at me differently, but ultimately they won't do much more than a few lip service. Never come close to being caught, and I do read this forum in public or in social event. No one is actively spying on my screen, I'm not that important.

 

[Fadenself00_]

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[Manfrotto99]

im pretty sure i would be disowned and called demonic. no worrying, just judgement for not being normal.

I can relate to this
They would blame me, tell me and everyone I'm sick, walk away and have nothing to do with me or lock me up and enjoy the power and control of seeing me so low. These things I've experienced before so i keep it to myself.

 

[LRkin]

My friends already know about it. I have no idea what they think. They didn't tell me. As for my family... I don't know. They'll just call me names yet again and tell me that I have nothing better to do, probably.

 

[meiherasayuri]

They'd probably be surprised, I don't know what their reaction will be. My mother almost discovered the forum but hasn't noticed because she can't see well

 

[WiltedDreams]

50/50 chance my family wouldn't care or I won't hear the end of it. Depends if they're aware of the over all context of the site or they see my posts.

Don't have friends but I've actually browsed this site at my job and I feel as if a couple of coworkers saw my screen but I don't think they care either and or don't know what this site is.

I'm good at being discreet with my screen so I don't really have to be concerned if they discover me.

 

[roastedpotato5230]

i dont think any of them would expect it tbh. ive been blessed with an actually decent friend group so im not too worried about thier reaction. my parents on the other hand dont even know but they would for sure crash out and make everything worse