What types of self harm do y'all do?

[Jean Améry]

Living as it's generally unpleasant and even downright harmful yet I can't seem to stop doing it.

Luckily I've never felt the urge to cut myself or drink myself stupid or anything like that. My ex-gf used to to the cutting thing so I have some idea of what it is like.

There is one thing that could conceivably count as 'self-harm': due to the fact that I don't believe life has value and it's ultimately futile I find it hard to put much effort into anything which means I've pretty much denied myself a proper career and life. I certainly could have achieved much more in life and professionally had I not suffered trauma in my early twenties. They called it 'clinical depression', I call it 'completely understandable and normal emotional suffering due to parental neglect and downright harmful, anti-social behaviour'.

Of course I (the victim) was the one who needed 'treatment' (completely unscientific and ineffectual BS), not my so called parents. I was the problem, not them.

Bad parents ought to be shot if only to encourage the others to try harder.

 

[neitherherenorthere]

Cutting and burning, nothing terribly novel.

I give myself very deep cuts on my legs. Usually end up having to staple them shut. Beats going to a+e to be judged.

Sorry you've had such shitty experiences with medical treatment that you can't even get the emergency treatment you need, that's awful.

If you don't mind my asking, have you ever had an issue with the staples, like infection or allergic reaction to the metal or the staple tearing out? I've considered this or similar, but puncture wounds are supposedly more dangerous than lacerations because it's easy for them to get infected, so I'm just curious as to your experiences.

 

[so it goes]

How do you even begin to self harm? I've had my pocket knife pressed firmly against my skin before but I'm too scared to actually make a cut. I feel like it would hurt so much.

I think I fear the pain more than anything else. But is the pain not the point of harming yourself? How do you cross that boundary?

 

[LittleJem]

Honestly living with my anxiety and depression could be considered self-harm I guess. I also don't eat that much

I've said it before, but if and when I choose to end my suffering by CTB it will be an act of self love.
Enduring this suffering is torture.

I don't know if you can get it and if it helps you or not, but weed was the only thing that helped me eat when my depression and anxiety were at their worst.

 

[so it goes]

I have never harmed myself out of depression. Though I occasionally have bad thoughts about myself like "I'm a loser", "I'm a retard", "I'll always be an outcast" and so on. Not sure if that counts but I might consider that mental self harm because that shit hurts, too.

I agree. I'm in the same boat. The mental pain is exhausting and almost unbearable.

 

[AltFoxx]

Pulling at hairs constantly and picking spots/scabs till they bleed badly

 

[the-exit-plan]

I have two big scars from cutting on my hips. Once I went too deep. It stung and I took that as, okay, time to stop, finished my shower and put my usual bandaid over it and went to work at an upper-end clothing store. I was there for maybe half an hour when I was sorting clothes for size and my forearm dropped to the top of my dress pants and I felt something warm and wet. I looked down.

It seemed like something from a war movie—deep, deep red on black pants. I didn't want to put my hand on it and have to clean up even more but I stood for a moment wondering what to do. And that was when this elderly couple asked for assistance.

I don't know that I'd ever taken care of a customer quicker or more quietly, shielding my obvious wound from the couple with a bag from the store, holding it with one hand, doing everything else with the other. They paid, they left, I kept working, wondering how I was going to make it through the day. If I was going to.

The store manager came up to me, noticing something off. "Are you okay?"

"I'm bleeding."

"..."

Some minutes pass, I keep working.

"Do you need to leave?"

"Yes, I think I do."

I drove to (big box store) and bought some gauze and surgical tape and bandages and fought for my life for the next three hours in the handicapped stall in said store's restroom, trying to stop the bleeding, obviously eventually succeeding.

I was finally leaving, my shirt and pants destroyed and dried, when the main pastor of my church came into the store.

"What is that?"

"Ketchup incident."

The end.

Epilogue:
I didn't cut for a while after I healed—but eventually took it back up. And quit. Repeat. I've been clean for a few years now but, y'know, relapse is only a decision away.

 

[degeneratewaste]

cutting myself. constantly reopening wounds until they get nasty. I also punch and slap myself almost every day.
I have suffered with self harm since I was 12. I started by cutting, but then when I got found out all of the sharp stuff in my house got locked away, so instead I scratched my legs until they bled. stopped self harming for 2 years when I was 14, then relapsed again at 16. I am now 20. I mostly cut my ankles but sometimes my thighs too. my legs are definitely not a pretty sight, especially as I always reopen my wounds.

I also tend to binge drink, but it's not really intentional self harm, as it helps me sort of forget things.

 

[Kramer]

Self harm was always strange to me. I'd rather just masturbate

 

[neitherherenorthere]

How do you even begin to self harm? I've had my pocket knife pressed firmly against my skin before but I'm too scared to actually make a cut. I feel like it would hurt so much.

I think I fear the pain more than anything else. But is the pain not the point of harming yourself? How do you cross that boundary?

Maybe not the most helpful answer, but it varies from person to person and from instance to instance. You're right, the pain can be the point, but not always. It can also serve different purposes. Sometimes it's a punishment, or it lets you feel something when you're totally numb. It can also be emotionally cathartic or give you a sense of control over something when you don't feel like you have any agency in your life. Or a combination of these and other things. A lot of the time I'll be so dissociated that I can't even feel it when I self harm, but it's a way to handle overwhelming emotions that I can't cope with otherwise regardless of whether it hurts or not.

There's no conscious decision to cross a boundary, it just kind of happens as needed. IMO better to not bother with it at all than to keep trying to push that envelope until you can overcome whatever inhibitions you have. There are better (worse?) coping mechanisms to use.

 

[so it goes]

Maybe not the most helpful answer, but it varies from person to person and from instance to instance. You're right, the pain can be the point, but not always. It can also serve different purposes. Sometimes it's a punishment, or it lets you feel something when you're totally numb. It can also be emotionally cathartic or give you a sense of control over something when you don't feel like you have any agency in your life. Or a combination of these and other things. A lot of the time I'll be so dissociated that I can't even feel it when I self harm, but it's a way to handle overwhelming emotions that I can't cope with otherwise regardless of whether it hurts or not.

There's no conscious decision to cross a boundary, it just kind of happens as needed. IMO better to not bother with it at all than to keep trying to push that envelope until you can overcome whatever inhibitions you have. There are better (worse?) coping mechanisms to use.

Thank you for replying. You've helped me gain a better understanding of the why and how.

Personally I'm not looking into cutting as a method of coping but it does come to mind every now and then.

 

[xLosthopex]

Binge and purge
Being reckless/putting myself in dangerous/risky situations
Impulsive spending

 

[Deleted member 17949]

a lot of self destructive emotional habits but if we're talking just physical I sometimes cut when very stressed

 

[Mentalmick]

Cutting and burning, nothing terribly novel.



Sorry you've had such shitty experiences with medical treatment that you can't even get the emergency treatment you need, that's awful.

If you don't mind my asking, have you ever had an issue with the staples, like infection or allergic reaction to the metal or the staple tearing out? I've considered this or similar, but puncture wounds are supposedly more dangerous than lacerations because it's easy for them to get infected, so I'm just curious as to your experiences.

I've only had one infection from them and that was because one end of the staple went inside the cut. I just cover them with island dressings to stop them catching on things. I usually remove them(with a staple remover) after about 7-10 days.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I pull out hairs and pick out scabs but I'm too squeamish for anything like cutting...

I also eat really spicy food sometimes which is easy because I actually have a low spice tolerance.

 

[Shades of Grey]

How do you even begin to self harm? I've had my pocket knife pressed firmly against my skin before but I'm too scared to actually make a cut. I feel like it would hurt so much.

I think I fear the pain more than anything else. But is the pain not the point of harming yourself? How do you cross that boundary?

If you haven't gone "there" yet, I highly recommend not testing the waters. Self-harm is addictive, and the great majority of those that do it ultimately regret having started. (I personally hate the damage I've caused to my body.)

I fell into it largely by accident when I was struggling with a loved one's suicide. Cut my finger on a broken object while in a very bad place, and realized that the injury functioned as a bit of an endorphin-induced "off" switch for what I was feeling.

For me, cutting is not painful. (I don't enjoy pain, and that has never been my intent.) It stings a bit, but for whatever reason, when I do it myself under the right circumstances, it doesn't hurt the way it would if it were an accidental injury.

 

[neitherherenorthere]

Thank you for replying. You've helped me gain a better understanding of the why and how.

Personally I'm not looking into cutting as a method of coping but it does come to mind every now and then.

No problem. I'm sure there are much better explanations posted by other users if you want more insight/other people's thoughts on it. Glad to hear you're not looking to start self harming.

I've only had one infection from them and that was because one end of the staple went inside the cut. I just cover them with island dressings to stop them catching on things. I usually remove them(with a staple remover) after about 7-10 days.

Thanks for the info, I appreciate it.

 

[Craig31ldn]

How do you even begin to self harm? I've had my pocket knife pressed firmly against my skin before but I'm too scared to actually make a cut. I feel like it would hurt so much.

I think I fear the pain more than anything else. But is the pain not the point of harming yourself? How do you cross that boundary?

Drugs and gambling.
The sad thing is if i hadn't self harmed I'd have everything i want now. Im such an idiot.

 

[beetlejuiceahh]

Been starving myself since 5th grade and my body shuts down regularly but I recently started purging due to people around me forcing me to eat but I'm not enjoying choking up whole chunks of food when I can just not eat, "fast" , to begin with. Also dRuGs:)

 

[Toybox]

Cutting, starving, then binging and purging, smoking, hitting myself, abusing caffeine. It sounds pretty bad when I type it all out

 

[Cherry Crumpet]

Cutting. Pulling my hair. Hitting my head with closed fists. Hitting other parts of my body. Abusing Xanax.

 

[Throwmyselfaway]

Currently cut upper thighs, binge/purge, burn my arms with cigarettes, keep my nails long to dig into my upper arms.

 

[FatalSystemError591]

Staying alive.
Staying with my husband.

 

[Echo]

I don't eat,

The other day my dear friend asked me if i was attempting slow suicide. She was just spouting off and venting... but she hit the nail on the head for once- randomly- she sees how i hurt myself by not eating, by my crappy sleeping habits... by withdrawing from the world- she gets mad at me.

 

[newave3]

The medications I take are enough self harm for me.

 

[IAmLi]

I belong to my local kink community and until COVID would regularly get beaten by sadist friends with various painful objects. Now that's no longer an option, so I've been scratching myself hard and often on my arms and legs. I think about cutting frequently. I find the physical pain is the only thing that stops the mental pain, even for a little bit.

 

[LostInSociety]

My self harm is smoking a ton of weed and doing nothing with my life

 

[PNKPNDA]

i dont really self harm much but when i have its usually cutting because weirdly i like looking at the blood? it makes me feel some kinda way idk. ive also burnt myself in the past and i suppose u could say i drink and do drugs to an extreme extent sometimes lol. One thing that could potentially be a form of self harm is my overspending??? not sure but i constantly spend way out of my means oops

 

[RepressedMind]

I'm really not into self-harm, it does nothing for me. But during my psychosis I made a lot of cuts on my leg. Later I would enjoy the sting and the roughness of the wounds.

 

[WFJ74]

drinking until i pass out every night. the amount of alcohol i go through in a given week is ridiculous.