what should people know about your relationship tolerances | recovery

[luten]

Mine:

Abuse - zero tolerance
I do not tolerate abuse, in any form, or shape. I will take my time to explain to a person that I cut off people who is abusive. This includes abusing others. They will not be able to say "oh i did not know" after this conversation.

Anger/Hate - zero tolerance
I dont allow anger under my roof. We are adults, we sit on the couch, we drink coffee, music in the background, while we give each other an opportunity to say what he or she wants to say. If our opinions dont match, not a problem at all, we agree/respect that we have different views. There is nothing to worry about, not a big deal.

I dont want angry people in my life. I dont do anger. If you are an angry person, you'd be better off without me.

No Integrity - very little tolerance
Be honest, and do what you say you going to do.

Disloyalty - very little tolerance
Loyalty is always needed.

Opinions
I prefer that people do their own research before having opinions, also think before you talk. Don't project your opinions onto others, and then go do your research afterwords, then come back tomorrow with a different opinion/story. You also get people whose opinions are based on how they feel at the time, which can be frustrating, because the person that you talked to today, sounds like another person tomorrow, radically different.

Complaining / Gossip - very little tolerance
I dont like to be around people who complains all day, and people who wants to talk about other people, instead of ideas, and their own lives.




What are yours?

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

Extremely based. I'll post some of mine:

Normieness: zero tolerance. You can't go around wanting to have children, being anti-choice, using social media, not being suicidal, having friends, wanting to pick the optimal mate, being politically engaged, liking "cool" technological "improvements" and all of the other stupid stuff like this.

Pegging: zero tolerance. Not on the table, take that shit elsewhere.

Wanting sex early on: zero tolerance. My penis is currently out of commission due to cooming too hard and getting damaged. If you can't wait with PIV, go get pumped and dumped and leave me alone.

Previous sexual/romantic history: low tolerance. Unless we're talking about food I'm not interested in leftovers.

Not being edgy: low tolerance. No boring pls, display your callous nature and intelligence by making jokes that will make Karens have panic attacks.

 

[luten]

Extremely based. I'll post some of mine:

Normieness: zero tolerance. You can't go around wanting to have children, being anti-choice, using social media, not being suicidal, having friends, wanting to pick the optimal mate, being politically engaged, liking "cool" technological "improvements" and all of the other stupid stuff like this.

Pegging: zero tolerance. Not on the table, take that shit elsewhere.

Wanting sex early on: zero tolerance. My penis is currently out of commission due to cooming too hard and getting damaged. If you can't wait with PIV, go get pumped and dumped and leave me alone.

Previous sexual/romantic history: low tolerance. Unless we're talking about food I'm not interested in leftovers.

Not being edgy: low tolerance. No boring pls, display your callous nature and intelligence by making jokes that will make Karens have panic attacks.

thanks for sharing - interesting.

 

[WhiteDespair]

Female narcissism can send me into a rage. I was "raised" by a narcissist and have very little tolerance for the abusive, manipulative behavior patterns.

 

[LunarPyotr]

Pro-Life: Zero Tolerance - fck society (no pun intended )

Disloyalty: Zero tolerance - I already experienced enough of this crap

Wanting to Fck early on: GTFO - Yeah, if you want to get the D so early on, get a callboy or something..

Having "certain" Problems (SH/Being Sui or Depres/Obssesive): I don't mind that - I believe that people who battle the same problems, are coming better along and being Obsessive isn't a bad thing. This mostly comes from past relationships.. Self Harm is bad but no one should be judged by their battle scars. It's also not something that this individual would do to "just get some attention"..

Liking to dress differently than other people: I don't mind that - I mean it's kinda like with my music taste. As long as you don't force your partner to dress the same way like you do, it's perfectly fine

Abuse: Nope, nope, nope... - I had enough of this crap while living with my parents..

Religious: Some tolerance - As long as I don't need to go to some shitty church or follow all of those ideology written in your holly book, I'm fine with that.. Preferably I would prefer that person to only follow like 0.0001% of those crap that is written in those books like "no alcohol" or "don't eat the meat that comes from a pig" or "I sometimes need some time for myself for doing my prayer".. Yeah, I can adjust to that and I don't mind the no alcohol rule since I myself never consumed any of that crap, even though I have a bottle of vodka in my basement for "special occasions"

Social Media: little tolerance - If you have Twitter, sure I can give you a follow but don't tell my to create a Zucc account on FB/IG/Snapchat/Whatsapp/ShitTok-MusicaLy or however this crap is names/ etc... I won't create an account there and if you really want that fcking follow on IG, don't mind me/complain if I use my dead friend's account for that.

Going out /w me and meeting some random people: Some tolerance - Don't expect me to be a social butterfly. I'm little bit of an introvert and don't like large meetings..

Complaining about your Apple product not working correctly: Some tolerance - Gosh, it's nothing new to me that Apple has $hitty product design and they break after S. Jobs death. If your touchscreen doesn't on your shiny iPhone 6-7-8, don't be surprised when Apple Store refuses to repair it.
But don't think that I'm Anti-Apple or only mocking on Apple products. There are other brands like Samsung, who sells devices with worse CPU/GPU in the EU (or even internationally) for the same price like the better (US) models with faster/more efficient Snapdragon CPU
Or Acer where they mount metal hinges on their laptops to a plastic frame..

 

[luten]

Pro-Life: Zero Tolerance - fck society (no pun intended )

Disloyalty: Zero tolerance - I already experienced enough of this crap

Wanting to Fck early on: GTFO - Yeah, if you want to get the D so early on, get a callboy or something..

Having "certain" Problems (SH/Being Sui or Depres/Obssesive): I don't mind that - I believe that people who battle the same problems, are coming better along and being Obsessive isn't a bad thing. This mostly comes from past relationships.. Self Harm is bad but no one should be judged by their battle scars. It's also not something that this individual would do to "just get some attention"..

Liking to dress differently than other people: I don't mind that - I mean it's kinda like with my music taste. As long as you don't force your partner to dress the same way like you do, it's perfectly fine

Abuse: Nope, nope, nope... - I had enough of this crap while living with my parents..

Religious: Some tolerance - As long as I don't need to go to some shitty church or follow all of those ideology written in your holly book, I'm fine with that.. Preferably I would prefer that person to only follow like 0.0001% of those crap that is written in those books like "no alcohol" or "don't eat the meat that comes from a pig" or "I sometimes need some time for myself for doing my prayer".. Yeah, I can adjust to that and I don't mind the no alcohol rule since I myself never consumed any of that crap, even though I have a bottle of vodka in my basement for "special occasions"

Social Media: little tolerance - If you have Twitter, sure I can give you a follow but don't tell my to create a Zucc account on FB/IG/Snapchat/Whatsapp/ShitTok-MusicaLy or however this crap is names/ etc... I won't create an account there and if you really want that fcking follow on IG, don't mind me/complain if I use my dead friend's account for that.

Going out /w me and meeting some random people: Some tolerance - Don't expect me to be a social butterfly. I'm little bit of an introvert and don't like large meetings..

Complaining about your Apple product not working correctly: Some tolerance - Gosh, it's nothing new to me that Apple has $hitty product design and they break after S. Jobs death. If your touchscreen doesn't on your shiny iPhone 6-7-8, don't be surprised when Apple Store refuses to repair it.
But don't think that I'm Anti-Apple or only mocking on Apple products. There are other brands like Samsung, who sells devices with worse CPU/GPU in the EU (or even internationally) for the same price like the better (US) models with faster/more efficient Snapdragon CPU
Or Acer where they mount metal hinges on their laptops to a plastic frame..

thank you for the detailed response. I have the iphone 12, this was the first time that I bought an iphone, coming from galaxy. The video, and photo quality is great, actuall more than great. Airdrop is super useful, and fast. Overall no complaints. It is just that their products are so expensive, but apparently they last a long time, if you look after it, which I do. Cover + tempered glass protector, oh, and a ring

 

[LunarPyotr]

thank you for the detailed response. I have the iphone 12, this was the first time that I bought an iphone, coming from galaxy. The video, and photo quality is great, actuall more than great. Airdrop is super useful, and fast. Overall no complaints. It is just that their products are so expensive, but apparently they last a long time, if you look after it, which I do. Cover + tempered glass protector, oh, and a ring

I had a different experience from all the repairs I done until now. The quality just dropped and the easy to repair design slowly vanishes.
Best Example: On the iPhone 12, you cannot replace the rear camera anymore

I personally like the Apple Ecosystem that sync your data between your Mac and the iPhone/iPad and I really enjoyed my iPhone 11 with 3 days of battery life and the FaceTime feature. I'm not denying my great experience on my iPhone 11/5s/4/3g and the Mac Mini at my workplace but..
The locked down software and the Apple dictatorship

Spoiler: example

as seen on the Discord ios App which doesn't allow you to visit NSFW servers

, doesn't appear to me.

I love downloading my favorite modified apps and console emulators, the possibility of installing a custom/debloated firmware and the fact that Android phones doesn't punish me for replacing the battery, fingerprint reader or even the display.

I bought my OnePlus 8 Pro with inflated battery and broken screen and after replacing it, I was able to use it normally. I bought the parts directly from the manufacturer via the customer support. Note that Apple doesn't sell iPhone replacement parts.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I don't think I would know for sure what I do and don't tolerate in someone until I face it for myself. Maybe I just don't like to think about it much because it makes me seem hypocritical somehow. Can I truly be called an incel if I have standards? It's a question that haunts me every day when thinking about the people I have rejected.

Aesthetically, I wouldn't be into my partner having like tattoos or other extreme body modifications. Nothing against them for anyone who does have those but I personally find them intimidating even the tiniest ones.

I know for sure I wouldn't tolerate would be a lack of tolerance towards the things I enjoy. They don't have to like everything I like but they probably can't hate any of it. I guess in general I'm intolerant to intolerance but not necessarily in like the liberal way because those kinds of people tend to be the most intolerant of all when it comes to certain things.....

 

[noaccount]

Thinking that anger is unhealthy, pathological, or not otherwise a healthy and necessary emotion: ZERO TOLERANCE.

Not knowing how to listen to healthy expressions of anger: ZERO TOLERANCE.

Thinking it's okay to frame sex as the consumption of women and treat sexually experienced women as lesser: ZERO TOLERANCE.

 

[luten]

Thinking that anger is unhealthy, pathological, or not otherwise a healthy and necessary emotion: ZERO TOLERANCE.

Not knowing how to listen to healthy expressions of anger: ZERO TOLERANCE.

Thinking it's okay to frame sex as the consumption of women and treat sexually experienced women as lesser: ZERO TOLERANCE.

Thank you, anger is punishment of the self. No one benefits from anger.

 

[Lostandlooking]

I have little tolerance for injustice. There's no escaping it though. The bad people sometimes get away with bad things. Good people are sometimes blamed for something they didn't do.

I have a problem with discrimination and rascism. Little tolerance for that. I always try to point it out in my real-life relationships. Sadly, people close to me are pretty clueless and racist. They don't even recognize it themselves, so me telling them doesn't really do anything. If they could keep it down when they're around me that would do.

Bullying does not sit well with me. Also aggression. Even if it's justified. It scares the hell out of me.

 

[noaccount]

Thank you, anger is punishment of the self. No one benefits from anger.

Lol look at the fucking Stepford Wife over here.

I see you didn't actually read or understand what I just wrote.

 

[Water-Lily]

I fail at anger/hate. I had ot let go of someone due to deep rooted envy. I would make a bad partner lol

 

[saltshaker]

I don't have a tolerance for relationships period. That's definitely something the women who date me should realize.

 

[luten]

I don't have a tolerance for relationships period. That's definitely something the women who date me should realize.

Sound like you not going to date anyone.

Lol look at the fucking Stepford Wife over here.

I see you didn't actually read or understand what I just wrote.

I understand what you said.

 

[saltshaker]

Sound like you not going to date anyone.

The dates i've been on are pretty funny in a messed up kind of way. It's like "hey babe, i might be a complete fucking weirdo, but you're in your 30s, so i don't either one of us is getting what we really want!"...

hehe

 

[luten]

The dates i've been on are pretty funny in a messed up kind of way. It's like "hey babe, i might be a complete fucking weirdo, but you're in your 30s, so i don't either one of us is getting what we really want!"...

hehe

A date is what it is.

 

[saltshaker]

A date is what it is.

Unlike some members here i honestly don't value relationships that much. I wish they would think a bit more about how gross and cumbersome they really are. You want to constantly be compromising every aspect of your life for someone else? When the magic will just inevitably die off and you'll end up miserable/dumped?

Just chill man, being single is great, i know a small army of married men who wish they were me. The grass always seems greener on the other side i guess.

 

[TotallyIsolated]

Being single your whole life is not so great.

 

[luten]

Unlike some members here i honestly don't value relationships that much. I wish they would think a bit more about how gross and cumbersome they really are. You want to constantly be compromising every aspect of your life for someone else? When the magic will just inevitably die off and you'll end up miserable/dumped?

Just chill man, being single is great, i know a small army of married men who wish they were me. The grass always seems greener on the other side i guess.

This is a very personal subject.

Two people who compliment each other's lives , and who has a respectful union may find meaning in a relationship. When you in a relationship you not only thinking about yourself, but about someone else too. Your focus becomes much broader. Another aspect to consider is that no one is getting any younger, views may change, as they often do, and then one may feel that one wasted a lot of time on nothing. I have been in relationships, some of which I regret giving up on. I do not regret any of my romantic relationships, but I do regret wasting a lot of time, ignoring that aspect of my life. I am 38.

I only had one best friend, who died in 2018. It is in times like this when one becomes aware of the fact that one may not have done enough to connect with others. Personally, I think that support, in form of friendship, or romantic relationship is necessary for my own well-being. I'd rather regret trying, opposed to not trying.

If I can go back in time, I would pat myself on the shoulder, and tell myself about the pains of loneliness, which literally can take your life away from you. I think a single life can be rather convenient, but it also has it's consequences.


This is only my opinion.

PS: I am tagging some people in this post, as they may, or may not find it useful. Maybe they want to contribute, as I would hope.

Kind Regards;

Wolf.

@WornOutLife @timf @Sensei

 

[Sensei]

This is a very personal subject.

Two people who compliment each other's lives , and who has a respectful union may find meaning in a relationship. When you in a relationship you not only thinking about yourself, but about someone else too. Your focus becomes much broader. Another aspect to consider is that no one is getting any younger, views may change, as they often do, and then one may feel that one wasted a lot of time on nothing. I have been in relationships, some of which I regret giving up on. I do not regret any of my romantic relationships, but I do regret wasting a lot of time, ignoring that aspect of my life. I am 38.

I only had one best friend, who died in 2018. It is in times like this when one becomes aware of the fact that one may not have done enough to connect with others. Personally, I think that support, in form of friendship, or romantic relationship is necessary for my own well-being. I'd rather regret trying, opposed to not trying.

If I can go back in time, I would pat myself on the shoulder, and tell myself about the pains of loneliness, which literally can take your life away from you. I think a single life can be rather convenient, but it also has it's consequences.


This is only my opinion.

PS: I am tagging some people in this post, as they may, or may not find it useful. Maybe they want to contribute, as I would hope.

Kind Regards;

Wolf.

@WornOutLife @timf @Sensei

I can absolutely relate. Some people really are self-sufficient and don't need other people, but I'd say they're very rare. Maybe we're just apes programmed by nature to do so, but for most people, it's worth nurturing all friendships and relationships. I regret that I've neglected friendships throughout the years which has left me with an almost non-existent social network.

 

[luten]

I can absolutely relate. Some people really are self-sufficient and don't need other people, but I'd say they're very rare. Maybe we're just apes programmed by nature to do so, but for most people, it's worth nurturing all friendships and relationships. I regret that I've neglected friendships throughout the years which has left me with an almost non-existent social network.

Thank you for your response.

What you describing is a very hard road. I think I underestimated the importance of having multiple friendships, and also to move on with maybe another romantic relationship. The isolating is convenient for a few years, and one may think "i got this, i dont' need anyone". That was one of the mistakes that I made.

 

[WhiteDespair]

Thank you for your response.

What you describing is a very hard road. I think I underestimated the importance of having multiple friendships, and also to move on with maybe another romantic relationship. The isolating is convenient for a few years, and one may think "i got this, i dont' need anyone". That was one of the mistakes that I made.

I've been isolated for so long it's my default. It's not a great setup. It's something I'm running into these days.

 

[luten]

I've been isolated for so long it's my default. It's not a great setup. It's something I'm running into these days.

yep. I have come to point where i have done most of the things which I wanted to do in life, and then the "now what ?" moment came, it is not pretty, not pretty at all. It is painful.

 

[WhiteDespair]

yep. I have come to point where i have done most of the things which I wanted to do in life, and then the "now what ?" moment came, it is not pretty, not pretty at all. It is painful.

I bet that realization is up there with how screwed over (someone) got. Both suck.

I've already lost opportunities because of my isolationist nature.

That "what now?" hasn't caught up to me yet but it's only a matter of time. Even ambivalence doesn't fully work.

 

[luten]

I bet that realization is up there with how screwed over (someone) got. Both suck.

I've already lost opportunities because of my isolationist nature.

That "what now?" hasn't caught up to me yet but it's only a matter of time. Even ambivalence doesn't fully work.

It is hard, this is grownup stuff. Age is a major contributor, the older you get, the more you feel like you failed in life.

It must be fixed.

Best regards;

Wolf.

 

[WhiteDespair]

It is hard, this is grownup stuff. Age is a major contributor, the older you get, the more you feel like you failed in life.

It must be fixed.

Best regards;

Wolf.

Hindsight is a bitch which is why he opened Pandora's box. We can look into the past all we want and drink deep from those waters. We must be careful to filter out the nonsense.

Like all the romantic relationships and women who were into me. I'm trying to rephrase that from "look at what I lost" into "look at how sexy I am to have had these women into me."

 

[WornOutLife]

This is a very personal subject.

Two people who compliment each other's lives , and who has a respectful union may find meaning in a relationship. When you in a relationship you not only thinking about yourself, but about someone else too. Your focus becomes much broader. Another aspect to consider is that no one is getting any younger, views may change, as they often do, and then one may feel that one wasted a lot of time on nothing. I have been in relationships, some of which I regret giving up on. I do not regret any of my romantic relationships, but I do regret wasting a lot of time, ignoring that aspect of my life. I am 38.

I only had one best friend, who died in 2018. It is in times like this when one becomes aware of the fact that one may not have done enough to connect with others. Personally, I think that support, in form of friendship, or romantic relationship is necessary for my own well-being. I'd rather regret trying, opposed to not trying.

If I can go back in time, I would pat myself on the shoulder, and tell myself about the pains of loneliness, which literally can take your life away from you. I think a single life can be rather convenient, but it also has it's consequences.


This is only my opinion.

PS: I am tagging some people in this post, as they may, or may not find it useful. Maybe they want to contribute, as I would hope.

Kind Regards;

Wolf.

@WornOutLife @timf @Sensei

I totally agree with you.
I've played for both teams (love and loneliness) and both of them have positive and negative things, just like the ones you mention.

For instance, being lonely and alone feels awesome because it's just you and nobody bothers you. However, human contact is necessary. I miss cuddling and hugging my ex gf.

Currently, my depression makes me realized I'm not ready to be in any relationship but if I happen to be someone who loves me, why not go for it?

Anyway, nice thread! I really enjoyed reading it!

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

the older you get, the more you feel like you failed in life.

100%, this describes me exactly.

 

[JigsawFeelin]

Sobriety- ZERO TOLERANCE. We're getting smashed or youre not getting smashed. I can't even talk to people sober at this point.
Anti sex-work stance- you're gonna need to be cool with dating a former hooker.
Must like at least some of my music, or share my taste, or introduce me to stuff I'll love- Music incompatibility is insanely important to me. I listen to music from dawn till dusk, and go to gigs whenever I can. I sought out an autism diagnosis due to how COMPLETELY UNABLE I am to listen to certain genres of music, even if I'm at a party (back when I had friends) and we're all putting on a song each, I'd be rude enough to ignore what they'd put on, or try to override it.
I am fully capable of going on a date, enjoying my time with them and then not seeing them again because they like music I don't. I'd chalk it up to dating someone in the past who weirdly shared my exact taste, but I think I'm just a piece of shit basically