I am practising dating people I like and who like me. And who have good manners.
I have broken the good manners rule twice recently. The first time, I was kind of in love. The second time, I liked the rude w**ker, but I tried to discuss the unsolicited crotch shot I was sent after our first date, and he refused to discuss it. I found it particularly offensive, as his other messages were rude/arrogant and also he is a lot more rich than me. I felt it was patriarchal to be sent a crotch shot without consent by someone. He told me it was 'too much' to discuss it with me. I was disappointed, but now I am so glad I ndidn't see him again, as he couldn't treat me like a human being with feelings who needed to feel respected. He also gas lit me and blamed it on me.
I guess I have a low tolerance to be treated with arrogance by rich misogynists who are dehumanising me. There. That's something.
Love, I have terrible taste. The recent dude I felt love for and more intimacy than with anyone before in my life was:
- rude to me
- tried to chat up other women in front of me
- asked me to do his washing when he stayed over, so he'd have a clean T-shirt and pants for 'next time'
- compared me to the, I quote, 'Crack whores' he'd been with before
- insulted me in bed because I was feeling nervous and inexperienced that one evening - because I'd been in a miserable marriage for so long
- ghosted me for two weeks, then called me again, telling me he'd 'missed me' and that I knew how much he liked me. So I had him round, because of how much I liked him, then he ghosted me again
- told his drug addict friends they could come on to me when I was at his house, as he's 'not possessive'
- told his carer/housemate that I was polyamorous, which I do not define as - and his housemate then hit on me
- was entirely focused on himself in the bedroom. Entirely.
My friends refused to hear his name spoken. But I would have eaten insects for him. I even then texted him maybe every day for a week, even though he was ignoring me. I am laughing out loud to write this.
The other person I was in love with several years ago, was angry and would storm off all the time. Was angry with me for dating other people, even though at the time I was married, I had met him at a BDSM workshop, and he was dating other people. Which was basically macho and misogyny from him.
Then when I was really suicidal and asked him to meet me, just as my marriage ended, he said no. Not even as a friend. He sent me a letter saying he had 'used me'. But I'm grateful to him as I have met better, kinder, more decent people since him.
So I have a low tolerance for love!!! ;) :) :)
Sobriety- ZERO TOLERANCE. We're getting smashed or youre not getting smashed. I can't even talk to people sober at this point.
Anti sex-work stance- you're gonna need to be cool with dating a former hooker.
Must like at least some of my music, or share my taste, or introduce me to stuff I'll love- Music incompatibility is insanely important to me. I listen to music from dawn till dusk, and go to gigs whenever I can. I sought out an autism diagnosis due to how COMPLETELY UNABLE I am to listen to certain genres of music, even if I'm at a party (back when I had friends) and we're all putting on a song each, I'd be rude enough to ignore what they'd put on, or try to override it.
I am fully capable of going on a date, enjoying my time with them and then not seeing them again because they like music I don't. I'd chalk it up to dating someone in the past who weirdly shared my exact taste, but I think I'm just a piece of shit basically
Why not date those people who like U2 ;) You never know! What about Justin Timberlake ;)
I am actually trying to look more cool on Spotify, so if anyone can help me with my musical taste, appreciated! I have a diverse taste. I know mainstream music, but in every genre. A CD Shop once refused to take my collection, because they said - everyone who wants your music has it already. I'm dating younger people at the moment, to update my music ;)
