TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
6,872
It really frustrates me how the masses and mainstream normies consider that "coping" is a solution to whatever problem one is facing. To start things off, as a disclaimer, I am not going to disparage those who wish (on their own) to using coping as a strategy to endure or even as their 'personal' solution to their problems, if that's what they want. In fact, this article is aimed towards people who promote coping as a means of a solution to one's problems without regards to how a person may perceive it. It is not only presumptuous, but also insulting and invalidating towards the person it is being addressed to as it presumes that if said person simply "coped away" whatever suffering that is bothering them, then all will be good and everything is great again! This couldn't be farther from the truth! In fact, coping basically means to tolerate or to put up with whatever one deems insufferable, intolerable, or unacceptable, and does little to affect the situation nor improve it. It doesn't solve the problems, it simply just makes oneself endure unnecessary suffering just for the sake of prolonging one's torment.

Part of my inspiration for writing this article comes from one of the posts in that thread, from the user @surroundedbydemons, as that person mentioned about the family putting their son's picture on a badge as an attempt to virtue signal and cope over the loss of life. I do think that if that makes the family feel better, then that's their prerogative, but for others, it still doesn't address the systemic issues that cause the problem(s) that everyone is facing in present reality.

Anyways, back to the article about how coping mechanisms aren't necessarily solutions to many problem(s). First off, not everyone is interested in tolerating what they deem intolerable, nor do they wish to. It isn't anymore rational nor irrational to simply do so because one can adapt. Many animals adapt to shitty circumstances that nature and other species cause them, but it doesn't make it more just or acceptable; it's just that in the eyes of the universe, the universe (a non-sentient entity) would not care for whatever happens to said animal. Furthermore, it would be an appeal to nature rather than an actual argument of the topic. Just because that is what is natural for our self-preservation instincts to keep us alive, even if it isn't what we wanted.

Next, I want to address the adaptability argument. The adaptability argument that a lot of pro-lifers like to use is the fact that one is capable (and should!) adapt to whatever adversity or circumstance that one faces, be it debility, poverty, or other insufferable circumstance(s). Not only is that a non-sequitur, a strawman, and many other fallacies, but also rather dismissive of one's personal choice. Furthermore, the logic in the adaptability argument is rather circular in nature, especially this snippet part of it. "If you adapt, then you accept the circumstances, but if you don't adapt then you don't accept it (the circumstances)." It is circular because the condition that makes adaptation true is contingent on acceptance of it or vice versa. Therefore, it would be considered one of those unfalsifiable statements, where you simply cannot disprove it.

Additionally, the use of such an argument is relegating the targeted person's grievances to nothing but psychological processes, which is of course, nothing more than just an underhanded way to invalidate and dismiss others' problems and sufferings. This is because instead of respecting or even honoring said person's choice with regards what they wish to do with their plight, they are instead pushed onto de facto "accepting" whatever circumstance (regardless of whether they wish to or not) that they find themselves in. This is not acceptable nor tolerable to said person!

In conclusion, for some people coping may very well be what they do, and perhaps that's what they want, which is fine in that case. However, when normies and many people EXPECT that everyone copes and puts up with situations and/or circumstances that one deems intolerable, then it infringes upon one's personal freedom as well as their choice on bodily autonomy (and their life). Therefore, we are in a constant contention with pro-lifers and anti-choicers who not only disrespect our choices, but also to relegate our suffering to simply a matter of 'coping' and enduring unfavorable conditions and circumstances.
 
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karmaisabitch

karmaisabitch

Mage
Mar 25, 2024
570
I agree with you! I used or forced to use some coping skills to manage my overwhelming sadness after my son was killed and to reduce some of the anger I had and still have because the killer is still free as of today, but nothing worked. Here Iam still angry, sad, and prob the maximum level of anxiety snd depression, plus suicidal with active plan. Once you are injured in some kind of way nothing can fix you. Once you are suicidal you will never be normal again!!
 
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Alexei_Kirillov

Alexei_Kirillov

Waiting for my next window of opportunity
Mar 9, 2024
1,031
Agreed. It kind of shocked me when I talked to a pro-lifer friend a while back and he suggested that I just need to "learn to live with" my eating disorder, it really shows what their thought process is (ie. that you have an obligation to bear suffering).

This also made me think of that platitude pro-lifers sometimes spout at you that "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem." First of all, not all problems are temporary, but second of all, even if that was the case, why am I obligated to endure it? Who knows how long it'll last anyway? At what point have I suffered enough to deserve a permanent solution instead of just transient coping mechanisms that can at most help me get through moments?
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
38,892
I find it disgusting when they act like people must "cope" no matter what and suffer all for the sake of it even know existing is completely meaningless and we are all going to die anyway. Continuing to exist should be a personal choice, not something for others to decide, I especially despise when they force their beliefs onto others as I'd always prefer to not exist no matter what, I have no interest in pointless suffering in this existence that was always undesirable in the first place. I don't see the point of "coping" when the peace of death solves everything for me.
 
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TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
6,872
I agree with you! I used or forced to use some coping skills to manage my overwhelming sadness after my son was killed and to reduce some of the anger I had and still have because the killer is still free as of today, but nothing worked. Here Iam still angry, sad, and prob the maximum level of anxiety snd depression, plus suicidal with active plan. Once you are injured in some kind of way nothing can fix you. Once you are suicidal you will never be normal again!!
That is true, once I had suicidal ideation, my worldview has changed and it isn't necessarily a "bad" thing because it allows me to take reality and the state of existence for what it really is. It has also allowed me to recognize that CTB is an option and rather than having to face whatever I have to, that CTB'ing is indeed a valid option despite what normies and the status quo believes.

Agreed. It kind of shocked me when I talked to a pro-lifer friend a while back and he suggested that I just need to "learn to live with" my eating disorder, it really shows what their thought process is (ie. that you have an obligation to bear suffering).

This also made me think of that platitude pro-lifers sometimes spout at you that "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem." First of all, not all problems are temporary, but second of all, even if that was the case, why am I obligated to endure it? Who knows how long it'll last anyway? At what point have I suffered enough to deserve a permanent solution instead of just transient coping mechanisms that can at most help me get through moments?
Exactly and it is infuriating when you present counter arguments (not that I do this anymore in present times; as it's not only too risky, but also doesn't help me get closer to permanent peace), you either get circular logic rebuttals, evasion of your question or point, or just radio silence (in various situations). They also resort to many other fallacies and deflections it's just dishonorable and very disrespectful; in other words, normies and anti-choicers (pro-lifers) just don't care about your wishes or your choice, it's all about enforcing the status quo, shutting down any potential argument or point that could cause them to reevaluate their own stance for fear they may be wrong. In a sense, yes I could claim that normies and anti-choicers just want to project their insecurities and worldview onto everyone, regardless of whether or not the recipient may welcome such stances. Worse yet, they do so through deception, coercion, and/or violence (locking people deemed 'imminent risk to oneself or others'), and just blatant cruelty.

I find it disgusting when they act like people must "cope" no matter what and suffer all for the sake of it even know existing is completely meaningless and we are all going to die anyway. Continuing to exist should be a personal choice, not something for others to decide, I especially despise when they force their beliefs onto others as I'd always prefer to not exist no matter what, I have no interest in pointless suffering in this existence that was always undesirable in the first place. I don't see the point of "coping" when the peace of death solves everything for me.
Same here too, and there is often times where I do regret wishing that I should have checked out and CTB in 2019 or even sometime 2021 to avoid the shitshow that is in present day. I'm biding my time, but in the long run I plan (and hope to) go out on my own terms, barring any unusual, irregular event that prevents me from doing so (sudden death, natural causes, etc.).
 
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EternalShore

EternalShore

Hardworking Lass who Dreams of Love~ 💕✨
Jun 9, 2023
977
Why should one be obligated to cope with pain when they were given the "gift" of life? :/ Why can't they just enjoy peace and pass rather than suffer the pain of being here? >_<
As long as one's memory of it remains, no pain is temporary. Sure, if you're counseled well and what-not, you can theoretically distract yourself from it and hopefully forget about it, but if not, you'll always think about it and be troubled by it again~ :( Pro-lifers shouldn't use dumb arguments like "permanent solution to temporary problem" for anyone either because many people's problems (as my own) are not temporary and will be lifelong! >_< and even if they were, the trauma may remain~ :(
 
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