Discussion Does this site deserve praise or should we demonise it?

[livinginthedreams]

Hello, I understand some sentences will seem very controversial as most here view this site to be rather good than bad, but I wanted to talk about my perception - till now - and I am open for criticism.
Many longing people come here, those who are sad and lonely, but how do they get treated here? Everyone has this understandment of suicidality and so much more. Is it okay to share this to those poor souls though? Those who never wouldve gotten the idea to use SN, those who were advertised it would be painless and fast, those who never planned to ctb in the first place? Being aware of the community lines, I think it is fair to say many act not quite in their meant, such as telling others to die or else. We advertise to so many, we tell them do not use painkillers, the fatality rate is quite low, we tell them they are a hero for going through with it. How often have we seen goodbye threads and only said goodbye? We all understand what it feels like, but is it fair to build this gigantic hole in which others accidentally get driven it, who will never get out anymore? I know many here try to say that this sites purpose is only support and they are not a murderer because they tell others how its best to off themselves, but is that true? Lots, including me, know what depression feels like, and it feels so good to talk about it with others, but this isnt some kind of aa meeting spot here, right? Many lost and poor souls come here to seek validation and in the end maybe their story wouldve turned out different, if they never saw that thread about how to get SN or how to peacefully attempt. Do you ever feel bad about it? I hope this doesnt criticise this site too much, but as we know, others have already left goodbye notes quotting this site should be banned. I only want to hear others opinions and not make anyone mad, I know this site also approaches a string support system for some.

 

[Helween]

Neither i would say? everyone is responsible for themselves, and only them can know if they're able to fight another day. Before coming to SaSu i was eff terrified to CTB since i could fail in so much way, now i can enjoy the time i have left without worrying about failing my only shot. i feel better overall, less lonely, less anxious. Again i dont want to CTB because it became more reliable and peaceful but because i have my back against the wall, i'm tired and i'm sure alot feel this way. if by miracle things were getting better i wouldn't want to off myself anymore

 

[livinginthedreams]

Neither i would say? everyone is responsible for themselves, and only them can know if they're able to fight another day. Before coming to SaSu i was eff terrified to CTB since i could fail in so much way, now i can enjoy the time i have left without worrying about failing my only shot. i feel better overall, less lonely, less anxious. Again i dont want to CTB because it became more reliable and peaceful but because i have my back against the wall, i'm tired and i'm sure alot feel this way. if by miracle things were getting better i wouldn't want to off myself anymore

Do you genuinely think everyone is responsible for themselves? Arent we supposed to look out for eachother?

 

[Helween]

Do you genuinely think everyone is responsible for themselves? Arent we supposed to look out for eachother?

sure we are but in the end only they can choose, i haven't been here long, but from what i saw, it is specified a lot not to decide to CTB on a whim. I think a lot of people here a doing their best to help people without making them feel like they only have one option. it's far from perfect but it help, a lot by giving us a place to be.

 

[divinemistress36]

Its really hard to get SN if someone gets to that point and got it they have probably have already wanted to ctb for a long time and exhausted all other methods of recovery

 

[innominesatanas44]

Well the website revolves around suicide
if you dont want to ctb, nobodys forcing you to. Its just better that if you really want to, you do it right. Like sex ed

 

[livinginthedreams]

sure we are but in the end only they can choose, i haven't been here long, but from what i saw, it is specified a lot not to decide to CTB on a whim. I think a lot of people here a doing their best to help people without making them feel like they only have one option. it's far from perfect but it help, a lot by giving us a place to be.

Are you sure? I like your way of thinking but that doesnt mean its quite accurate. Sure, a lot have a place here, a lot feel good here, but what about all those goodbye threads? A few minutes ago I just saw a thread of someone who wrote about their failed attempt and saw the response of ,,you should try xx next time'' -adding a link to a detailed step by step method on how to pursue said method. Also, you arent alone responsible for your ctb if others promoted it before. You surely always add your part to it, but others influence you deeply dont they? We pick up lost souls and tell them how to pass away and feel good about it. You think all these deaths are justified only because some get less anxious here? Looking at stats of threads, prolly around half is about ctb'ing. Barely anyone visits a site named sanctioned suicide to reach out for help. If you had a depressed friend in real life, would you drive them to the bridge? Would you buy the gun? Would you hang up that rope or would yoi carry them onto the roof? Do you really think you dont carry any guilt in advertising death for those who tend to it? I dont want to seem mean but this just popped up in my head. Id be happy to hear your answer

Well the website revolves around suicide
if you dont want to ctb, nobodys forcing you to. Its just better that if you really want to, you do it right. Like sex ed

Yeah, nobody forces you, but it is still promoted heavily. Just showing somebody a mass thread about how to off themselves may be the cause that the attempt has worked. Also, what about those who want to ctb and then fail an attempt? Many of those will go through medial help like psychiatric care, and though many lost hope in the system, often people do still look back and are happy to be alive and that their attempt had not worked. Even if this site tells you not to act out of impluse, many will, and only because you say that shouldnt be done but give advice on how to ctb doesnt make it right. You think being dead after a ctb is right? What about those who now say they happily live though they attempted, did they do it wrong?

Its really hard to get SN if someone gets to that point and got it they have probably have already wanted to ctb for a long time and exhausted all other methods of recovery

What about the threads which show you how to hang yourself the right way or how to angle your gun? Even if out of impulse, you think its morally correct to show helpless easily attackable people how to end it?

 

[LunarCharm]

I think the answer is neither.
good and bad is entirely subjective, yes. But at the end of the day this site provides a safe space for people to talk about how they feel; even if it also does provide a space for people to learn about things that can alter their decisions.
At the end of the day everyone is responsible for their own choices. I've seen many people tell others to not try to ctb on a whim.
having a space to talk about things freely is always going to have some downsides to it, that's inevitable. I don't believe that's a good reason to take away that space to talk.

 

[Alltheywanted]

Like everything, it has its advantages and disadvantages. For me, they are equal, and maybe even have more advantages, so I evaluate it positively and I praise it very much.

 

[livinginthedreams]

I think the answer is neither.
good and bad is entirely subjective, yes. But at the end of the day this site provides a safe space for people to talk about how they feel; even if it also does provide a space for people to learn about things that can alter their decisions.
At the end of the day everyone is responsible for their own choices. I've seen many people tell others to not try to ctb on a whim.
having a space to talk about things freely is always going to have some downsides to it, that's inevitable. I don't believe that's a good reason to take away that space to talk.

You think those uncountable deaths, even of minors, are "some downsides"? There are many mental health sites which are monitored more strictly and still let you talk about your feelings.

 

[4am]

found the bbc journalist lmao

 

[livinginthedreams]

Like everything, it has its advantages and disadvantages. For me, they are equal, and maybe even have more advantages, so I evaluate it positively and I praise it very much.

You don't think the advantages could be aquired on different sites which would cross out the disadvantages?

found the bbc journalist lmao

lol wdym haha

 

[livinginthedreams]

found the bbc journalist lmao

you mean im a journalist or i took my info from journalists? I can assure im not a journalist lol but I also dont watch bbc or read bbc

 

[xinino]

It is good to find ctb methods

 

[livinginthedreams]

It is good to find ctb methods

Yeah I totally agree with that, and though some my search for that, do you still think its okay to tell people how to escape life? I mean I was happy when I found the methods, and I still am about it, but many probs wouldnt be since this does advertise fatality rate and people are more likely to die, meaning you contributed a part to that death, dont u think so?

 

[betternever2havbeen]

Being aware of the community lines, I think it is fair to say many act not quite in their meant, such as telling others to die or else. We advertise to so many, we tell them do not use painkillers, the fatality rate is quite low, we tell them they are a hero for going through with it.

Encouragement of any kind is not allowed here so I'm not quite sure who these people are telling anyone these things. Report them if you see it. I think most people come here with a method already in mind, that's how I found this place anyway. It was like 6 months before I even considered SN as a method because it didn't sound that pleasant or something I could go through with and I had my other method which I'd long thought of going out with before this site existed. Others might be more impulsive yes, which is why it's good that people are being very cautious now and not giving out any SN sources to new members. You've got the pro-lifers to thank for bringing the site into the mainstream. Why are YOU here? How many people have you saved?

 

[Helween]

Are you sure? I like your way of thinking but that doesnt mean its quite accurate. Sure, a lot have a place here, a lot feel good here, but what about all those goodbye threads? A few minutes ago I just saw a thread of someone who wrote about their failed attempt and saw the response of ,,you should try xx next time'' -adding a link to a detailed step by step method on how to pursue said method. Also, you arent alone responsible for your ctb if others promoted it before. You surely always add your part to it, but others influence you deeply dont they? We pick up lost souls and tell them how to pass away and feel good about it. You think all these deaths are justified only because some get less anxious here? Looking at stats of threads, prolly around half is about ctb'ing. Barely anyone visits a site named sanctioned suicide to reach out for help. If you had a depressed friend in real life, would you drive them to the bridge? Would you buy the gun? Would you hang up that rope or would yoi carry them onto the roof? Do you really think you dont carry any guilt in advertising death for those who tend to it? I dont want to seem mean but this just popped up in my head. Id be happy to hear your answer

Yeah, nobody forces you, but it is still promoted heavily. Just showing somebody a mass thread about how to off themselves may be the cause that the attempt has worked. Also, what about those who want to ctb and then fail an attempt? Many of those will go through medial help like psychiatric care, and though many lost hope in the system, often people do still look back and are happy to be alive and that their attempt had not worked. Even if this site tells you not to act out of impluse, many will, and only because you say that shouldnt be done but give advice on how to ctb doesnt make it right. You think being dead after a ctb is right? What about those who now say they happily live though they attempted, did they do it wrong?

What about the threads which show you how to hang yourself the right way or how to angle your gun? Even if out of impulse, you think its morally correct to show helpless easily attackable people how to end it?

I'm not saying i'm free of guilt, far from that, if people don't ask our opinion we can't force them to read us or hear something that they dont wanna. I know that like you stated some act very cynical but yeah i truly hope that it's just a few of the community. i don't feel any good when i help someone or give them advice if they ask them, i'm sad, that another one has been pushed to this point, but i dont want them to suffer like that for the rest of their life too you know. In real life i always tried to ask them if there's a way to help them beside CTB, tried my best make them feel better to i don't know maybe change their mind, i wanted them to stay.. but some of them suffured to much in the end and left anyway, i understand them too. i they wanted to CTB and they were solid about it, i would help them, it's maybe bad i don't know but suffering all my life made me that way. i can't say Sasu is good or bad, We have no more right to keep them from living their life if they want to or to CTB if they want to.

 

[innominesatanas44]

Yea man letting people have the option to peacefully ctb if they want sucks. Lets just let them do it themselves and most likely fail and risk crippling themselves or involuntary hospitalization

 

[livinginthedreams]

Encouragement of any kind is not allowed here so I'm not quite sure who these people are telling anyone these things. Report them if you see it. I think most people come here with a method already in mind, that's how I found this place anyway. It was like 6 months before I even considered SN as a method because it didn't sound that pleasant or something I could go through with and I had my other method which I'd long thought of going out with before this site existed. Others might be more impulsive yes, which is why it's good that people are being very cautious now and not giving out any SN sources to new members. You've got the pro-lifers to thank for bringing the site into the mainstream. Why are YOU here? How many people have you saved?

I havent saved anyone, and I am not sure if I am able to save anyone, as I struggle myself, but I do think theres a difference between not contributing and contributing a part which could lead to the death of someone else. Ill keep the reporting in mind. Also, why am I here, Im not here to get data or do any sort of shit, I came here because I struggle with suicidal ideation and often am very close to suicide, which for me had also been in my thoughts long before I arrived here, and like many else I looked for ways and stuff. I dont want to say I am better than anyone which is why i often speak as in us but maybe we all could look out more for eachother. Many only critisize this post because as I acknowledge it is controverse to often seen opinions on here. Thanks for ur answer!

Yea man letting people have the option to peacefully ctb if they want sucks. Lets just let them do it themselves and most likely fail and risk crippling themselves or involuntary hospitalization

You think involuntary hospitalisation can only end bad? I myself know what its like to not even open up because im scared somebody will take away my human privileges, like my freedom. I agree that crippling themselves is a very bad end. But to give options which will kill you no hesitation? I dont know

 

[Helween]

I can only agree that we should look out more for each other

 

[livinginthedreams]

t

I'm not saying i'm free of guilt, far from that, if people don't ask our opinion we can't force them to read us or hear something that they dont wanna. I know that like you stated some act very cynical but yeah i truly hope that it's just a few of the community. i don't feel any good when i help someone or give them advice if they ask them, i'm sad, that another one has been pushed to this point, but i dont want them to suffer like that for the rest of their life too you know. In real life i always tried to ask them if there's a way to help them beside CTB, tried my best make them feel better to i don't know maybe change their mind, i wanted them to stay.. but some of them suffured to much in the end and left anyway, i understand them too. i they wanted to CTB and they were solid about it, i would help them, it's maybe bad i don't know but suffering all my life made me that way. i can't say Sasu is good or bad, We have no more right to keep them from living their life if they want to or to CTB if they want to.

Thanks for your answer :-)

 

[lnlybnny]

that's very subjective - for me, it was very helpful as i'd probably have done something very impulsive and stupid trying to ctb. here, i got to learn a lot about methods and decide what feels more fit for me, and i've learned there's no perfect method. at the end of the day, if someone really wants to ctb they'll find a way or other to do it, better do it more thoughtfully and carefully i think. also it's nice to have a place to vent without judgement like everywhere else

 

[anhedonya]

I agree with what you're saying and that's precisely why I can't interact with those threads. I know it's hypocritical of me to talk about how I want to CTB and then avoid those threads and pretend I'm some saint, but I am not. I came to this site because my life is going downhill very quickly and I have extremely limited means. I do not see a way out. But even when I go, I'm not going to post how I did it and what my plan in full was, nor will I make a goodbye thread specifically because I agree with these points.

I believe we as people have an integral responsibility to one another. And even though I know this site's purpose is to speak honestly about suicide, and I would NEVER send someone to a psych ward, I also cannot stand by and do nothing. I cannot look at goodbye threads and say "hope you find the peace you're looking for".

That bystander role makes me feel sick. I believe we should all have the choice of whether we want to live or not, just as a basic human autonomy thing, but that it should be a choice made after absolutely everything else is exhausted. And even then we should be careful about how we talk about it and what societal factors are playing into this person wanting to die so badly.

In my opinion, people who give advice about how to do things like SN are absolutely complicit. I refuse to engage with that kind of discussion entirely.

Again, I know it's hypocritical because I too am speaking about suicide and asking the people around me to stay calm and chill about it, but I have very hard lines in the sand and think that a LOT of people here have bad intentions. A lot of people like to watch the mess occur and egg it on. A lot like to be cheerleaders for it.

I don't know what the solution is. I just think people need to give thought to things before they speak and ask if they can truly live with themselves after sending someone resources on how to kill themselves. I wouldn't be able to.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

You think those uncountable deaths, even of minors, are "some downsides"? There are many mental health sites which are monitored more strictly and still let you talk about your feelings.

Then maybe you should have signed up there. Minors aren't allowed here and I can assure you, we work very hard to keep them out.

You signed up to a place called Sanction Suicide, what did you think people are talking about? Baking cookies?

Maybe you haven't seen it, but we also have a fairly large recovery section.
Yes, people who gave up on life are supported, because we believe that every (adult) human should be free to make their own decision .
It they want to stay or go isn't even that important, people can find a place here to talk, cry, scream, but also to find people who understand.

We never ever condone people encouraging eachother. That's against the law and just unethical.
If you see someone doing that, report.


Maybe you should reconsider if this is the place for you.


Locking it for now.

 

[livinginthedreams]

I agree with what you're saying and that's precisely why I can't interact with those threads. I know it's hypocritical of me to talk about how I want to CTB and then avoid those threads and pretend I'm some saint, but I am not. I came to this site because my life is going downhill very quickly and I have extremely limited means. I do not see a way out. But even when I go, I'm not going to post how I did it and what my plan in full was, nor will I make a goodbye thread specifically because I agree with these points.

I believe we as people have an integral responsibility to one another. And even though I know this site's purpose is to speak honestly about suicide, and I would NEVER send someone to a psych ward, I also cannot stand by and do nothing. I cannot look at goodbye threads and say "hope you find the peace you're looking for".

That bystander role makes me feel sick. I believe we should all have the choice of whether we want to live or not, just as a basic human autonomy thing, but that it should be a choice made after absolutely everything else is exhausted. And even then we should be careful about how we talk about it and what societal factors are playing into this person wanting to die so badly.

In my opinion, people who give advice about how to do things like SN are absolutely complicit. I refuse to engage with that kind of discussion entirely.

Again, I know it's hypocritical because I too am speaking about suicide and asking the people around me to stay calm and chill about it, but I have very hard lines in the sand and think that a LOT of people here have bad intentions. A lot of people like to watch the mess occur and egg it on. A lot like to be cheerleaders for it.

I don't know what the solution is. I just think people need to give thought to things before they speak and ask if they can truly live with themselves after sending someone resources on how to kill themselves. I wouldn't be able to.

Thank you for that answer, I support your opinion. Finding a solution is indeed difficult, I know closing this site would take away some peoples safe space but I wonder if they couldnt create that on a more peaceful mental health discussion site. I mean, this site is called sanctioned suicide - allowed, permitted suicide.