I so detest my SI. I would not be here now if is wasnt for my SI. I would not have survived so many useless wasted years suffering with depression, grief, loss and abuse.
If only I could cut it out and get rid of it ! I know it is ment to help us to survive, even through incredible hardships - but it seens to be a curse when surviving has no meaning and is all for nothing.
I guess we never know if it's all for nothing - until we have exhausted every option. I must surely be there now. I cant help but wonder how those who have CTB managed to overcome their SI ?
If only I could cut it out and get rid of it ! I know it is ment to help us to survive, even through incredible hardships - but it seens to be a curse when surviving has no meaning and is all for nothing.
I guess we never know if it's all for nothing - until we have exhausted every option. I must surely be there now. I cant help but wonder how those who have CTB managed to overcome their SI ?
