Chronic pain and sickness, unbearable exhaustion, medication side effects, no family, looming homelessness, financial ruin and destitution, loneliness, horrible sleep problems. I sleep 3 to 4 hours a night if I'm lucky and wake up at least 8 times, due to neurrological problems. Abusive and humiliating living situation. I get hammered down every single day, told I can't do anything right, pushed around, bullied. I have nowhere else to go. Mental health problems, cptsd, horribly abusive childhood including neglect and abandonment. Zero love growing up. No encouragement, zero physical affection. Never married no kids never had a real relationship. 51 years old, car falling apart, running out of money, non dischargeable debt I'll never be able to repay. The only thing that meant anything to me was my career as a teacher but that was stolen by chronic illness. I just want to not exist and hopefully will make that happen soon.