
Insomniac
𝔄 𝔲 𝔱 𝔦 𝔰 𝔪
- May 21, 2021
- 1,357
if you lost your faith, you probably lost your family too. as long as Islam is concerned at least.
no such thing as a "closeted" atheist. People can feel these things. It doesn't need to be said or even though.
when I left my religion (Islam, at 16), I felt a big wave of freedom and energy flowing through me. Ironically, it felt like a deep spiritual experience. In an instant, I was freed to think and question things I couldn't think and question before. I never told anyone that I had lost the faith. So I though no one knew.
Anyway, with that joy and energy, It felt like I had just won the lottery. I felt so sorry for my family members who were still deep into religion. To the point where I was wondering "how did they manage to survive so well with their blindfold on all this time?"
8 years later, I finally understand that I lost everything when I lost my faith. I lost my connection to the people around me and ever since, I have been trying to build new connection with people who... don't want me. The only thing I had in common with them was freedom from religion.
Life was easier with religion. The rigidity of it's boundaries kept my soul contained and safe from myself. everyone who stayed close to religion had way more success than me. They had a clear path and they understood each other. They have each other and I'm alone with my "freedom".
I still do believe in Hell, except I don't see it as a future thing.
no such thing as a "closeted" atheist. People can feel these things. It doesn't need to be said or even though.
when I left my religion (Islam, at 16), I felt a big wave of freedom and energy flowing through me. Ironically, it felt like a deep spiritual experience. In an instant, I was freed to think and question things I couldn't think and question before. I never told anyone that I had lost the faith. So I though no one knew.
Anyway, with that joy and energy, It felt like I had just won the lottery. I felt so sorry for my family members who were still deep into religion. To the point where I was wondering "how did they manage to survive so well with their blindfold on all this time?"
8 years later, I finally understand that I lost everything when I lost my faith. I lost my connection to the people around me and ever since, I have been trying to build new connection with people who... don't want me. The only thing I had in common with them was freedom from religion.
Life was easier with religion. The rigidity of it's boundaries kept my soul contained and safe from myself. everyone who stayed close to religion had way more success than me. They had a clear path and they understood each other. They have each other and I'm alone with my "freedom".
I still do believe in Hell, except I don't see it as a future thing.

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