Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[SchizoGymnast]

Migraine on the way. Of course.

 

[oatmeal.n]

exhausted, tired, just foggy. its hard to think this past year, and its only ever gotten worse. i cant even think about my own feelings- too much effort and not enough energy.

hopefully i start feeling better, doesn't look too hopeful. i got a dosage increase for this month, still talking to my psychologist. i want this to be over with. i dont like how i think, if that makes any sense.

 

[istherehope]

I feel lost, heartbroken, a deep sadness turning into a void into my ribcage.

 

[Daniel_79]

Feel like life is a game...the most complicated game imaginable where nobody even explains the rules, and every time I think I'm making progress everything gets taken away from me because I didn't take the time to understand the rules properly (even if I looked for them I'd never find them). Playing is suffering but I'm forced to keep playing even though I didn't want to join the game in the first place. All I can do is look on in confusion and struggle to understand how so many people seemingly find playing the game so easy. Maybe they were given some special cheat code I never got. It makes you feel more broken. Every time I ask for help people treat me like I'm incompetent and incapable for not being able to play like everyone else. I throw my tantrums and try to rage quit. I peacefully plan and search for the hidden exit. Always seem to find myself back at the start.

 

[Dark Moon]

I'm just tired and depressed. I'm kind of sick of life to be honest.

 

[hatchedonyx]

realised I've been in a manic episode the last few days and the crash has finally come. all the guilt of everything is suddenly overwhelming, but just ripped a pokemon pack from the stack I bought whilst in said manic episode and got a god pack. a win is a win, even in a time of crippling depression, guilt, and overspending.

 

[Unsure and Useless]

After getting "jumped" by depression in public several hours ago and having to suppress my emotions, I feel just… numb. I'm not happy; I'm not sad; I'm not angry. I don't have any desire to continue onward, and I don't have to drive to do anything, even the things I like. (Although, to be honest, there isn't a lot to begin with.)

Occasionally, a sliver of sadness and disgust breaks through. It's mostly when I just reflect on my relationships thus far.

I'm still in touch with my remaining IRL friends, but I've made some meaningful connections (or, at least, I think I did) through this forum. It sucks and it eats at me that I've found people who can understand me but they'll be gone at some point. I rapidly oscillate between caring too much about them and not caring at all, but I don't even know if my version caring is even caring. What if I think I'm caring but I'm not caring at all? I want to care about them because clearly they mean something to me, but sometimes, I just don't… care.

I'm just defective. From the moment I was born to now, I'm simply too faulty. I don't know what's wrong with me.

Dying is the only option for me. Disposing of a broken product.

 

[Lyn]

Like a faded neon sign humming in an alley no one walks down anymore. Still on. Still glowing... at least to some extent.
But for what?
Just a slow erosion of meaning. If it even ever was a thing in this world.

 

[SoulCage]

Just a small vent into the void, because I feel like I have to cry for help, but I know nobody can help me anyway.
Since I reduced my medication, my chest went from "something really heavy is compressing my heart, my lungs" to "feeling of relief, but at the same time a "pull" as if someone is constantly trying to remove a band-aid that is too adhesive to remove. It sucks so hard, this is worse than my sleeping issues before I started medication. I think there is no chemistry that can help me. Please make it stop. Doctors keep telling me it's just psychological source. They can't help me