Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[Mixo]

I think I'm going to be either in a shelter soon or in jail. I can't tell which.

Today would be the perfect day to go.

 

[nerve]

I was going through old chat logs of mine because I'm so lonely that this is apparently what I do and I came across some with this internet guy I kind of had a thing with in 2016ish. He was a very sad, insecure asshole who alternated between proclaiming his love to me and condemning me to eternal suffering but now, after six years, if I look at his incredibly bleak predictions for how my life was going to end up, he was totally fucking right. I feel sick.

 

[Jude]

Overly full from stress eating

 

[TheHatedOne]

I feel overwhelmingly lonely. Also this waiting for my poison is too long... I want to finish it all already.

 

[Judah]

I feel disoriented, not knowing what to do with my life

 

[Hydrangea]

Tired. I need to lose more weight. I wish I didn't have a body.

 

[NotSureToEndure]

Torn

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

Thinking about potential dates. Things just feel too hopeless. I hate being alive and I feel like atm I'm only alive because of obligation. One one hand, I know planning a date can create a lot of stress, put a lot of pressure on someone. But on the other hand, it's telling myself "Keep trying to stay alive and try to not attempt - if you still feel this way on this date you can finally kill yourself and have peace."

I really want attempt soon. There's been a few times in the past month where I've come close to (at least) starting an attempt. Existing is so awful. My friends won't be happy but I think this is the best thing I can do for myself. In a weird way it might ease their minds too.

Probably the depression talking but fuck, I'm tired. Just tired of being a burden, tired of being miserable. Tired of existing and being a leech. Going through the motions with such a stupid, pathetic, senseless life. It's all too much.

I'll try to stick around for a couple more months……

 

[orange]

Like the ants children dance on during recess

 

[height jumper 69]

i really want to take someone with me

 

[TheHatedOne]

how many more times im going to have my heart hurt

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I think I have Covid. My mom tested positive with an at-home test which we only had one of and my throat has been kinda sore today even though my mom stayed quarantined in her own room. What's weird is I went to go wait in line for a test the other day but even though I tested negative there I fear it may not have been done right or that maybe I caught the sickness while waiting in line, which is just so ironically tragic. Oh well. I got my 2nd dose less than three months ago so my doctor said it should be fine even if I do have it but it's still annoying. I don't want to die like this, that's for sure.

 

[waitingforrest]

Like the ants children dance on during recess

I really like how you put it. Exactly how I'm feeling, insignificant.

 

[tiredsadandlonely]

Angry at past me for not taking care of herself. For not setting herself up for at least a little bit of stability.
And, at the same time, I can't really blame her.
Because she was just as lost and empty and tired as I am, now.

 

[DunnoWhyButYeah]

I'm so naive. I just want to disappear. Now.

I'm big mistake, I made huge mistake. Mistakes everywhere...

I don't know what I feel and I don't want to feel anything.

I saw huge red flag and still... Still I said yes, again. Like I always do, but now I feel like this is the end. I don't do that never again.

I don't know where to start searching answers what is this feeling and what I need to do. I hope I'm drunk today, I want to forget all what I know.

 

[DeutscheKartoffel]

FUCK CHINA,
FUCK MANDATORY ANAL SWAB!

 

[TheHatedOne]

awful, awful, awful everything's just awful!

 

[Hirokami]

Everyone hates me now everyone is going to leave me I am worthless I fucked up again I am a monster I'm a bad person I'm annoying no wonder everyone hates me I hate me too I'm a piece of shit

 

[WaterHemlock]

Pissed off.
I do tarot readings for myself, find them online and sometimes get them from other people. I know it's silly but it distracts me and makes me happy sometimes.
But recently every fucking year ahead reading has featured some similar, depressing and negative cards, especially towards the end of the year.
I feel like even my fantasies are hanging up on me. I'm angry. Each reading features me as alone. I'm so over this shit.

 

[Jeko]

I feel exceedingly lonely.
I feel lost - once again.
I feel defeated.

 

[LastFlowers]

Severe discomfort, I'm in pain, I look like shit, I'm tired yet I can't sleep, my dry eyes are glazed over and I can barely breathe, I'm forgetting to even blink, I'm so exhausted.
My wretched face and body deteriorate more and more every day.
I broke something again and got a piece of glass wedged in my finger, the wound won't heal, and for some odd reason it feels broken, it hurts to type yet I can't shut the fuck up now that I've become once again involved with the discussions on this site.
I was supposed to be dead by now, I am so angry, I feel as if I could bite down too hard at any moment and crumble my remaining teeth, swallowing them like nothing.
I don't know what it's like to feel human, I don't know what it's like to be alive, I am a walking dead person.

 

[Life sucks]

Love

 

[Seaghost]

I don't know what to feel.
My demons seem to having some kind of longer christmas holidays.
Have to be careful...life tricked me over and over again.

 

[TheHatedOne]

Thousands of flames cover the whole world. A very calming scene. Apocalyptic. The flames of my pain and despair that I kept inside me for so long.

 

[TheHatedOne]

This has to be a lie... I need to forget it all... I need to drink away the pain. or whatever. i dont know. I just need to forget.

 

[Lefty]

Angst

 

[Kim]

I'm tired.. for a long time a fought and for what? Nothing... i'm unbelievable tired..

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

Everything is hopeless. Everything hurts.

 

[Sherri]

Angry at my doctor. I get Xanax from 2 different doctors and he can see them both on his computer. Gave me a lecture that I can't have by law all those 4 boxes a month on my file. The other doctor doesn't say anything. Now the mean one wants me to call the other and say don't prescribe me anymore. Grrrrrr why do these systems have to be interconnected. I hate going to a drug store and ask for Xanax without a script. The mean doctor prescribes Xanax XR. Don't feel anything when I take it. The immediate ones are the best.

Everything is hopeless. Everything hurts.

A big hug Bitterly

 

[Manaaja]

I wish all the dirt, rotting and mold was destroyed from the world. Imagine if nothing was ever moldy or dusty or rotten. Everything was fresh and good as new.