Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[art]

Extreme pain

 

[fdnglnslanlnvlonfbo]

I'm trying to stay awake as long as I can. So far, around 40 hours no sleep.
I want to know how far I can push myself without sleep.

 

[TheHatedOne]

i have sore throat but aside of that i really feel decent. gonna start drinking now.

 

[littlelungs]

Aside from the constant physical agony, my stomach has really been giving me a hard time the past few days between all its issues and the nauseating muscle pain. Violently puked up water earlier until I choked because my body's broken, I guess.

Emotionally, I feel a weird combination of empty and sad... like another kind of sadness on top of the usual chronic depression and psychological fuckery. I got sucked into a YouTube compilation video of hits from the 2010s, and each song brought me back to where I was at the time that song was popular... with just about every song for each month I'd just be thrown back to some sort of crisis I was dealing with and I'd feel like I was drowning in my own shitty, pathetic nostalgia, but I just couldn't click off. Idk, it was just a reminder that I've never been okay.

I also feel old from reading the comments underneath. I'm not even old but it's also a reminder that my death is way overdue. And I don't know how to talk about how I feel and what I go through without sounding like I pity myself. I don't. I'm just sick of it all.

Blah blah blah, who cares.

 

[WhatDoesTheFoxSay?]

I can't take it anymore.

 

[Mixo]

It's been a shit week, but I'm befriended someone new and find them to be a genuinely nice person. I haven't felt that way in a while so it's saying something, especially for a misanthrope like me. It sucks to know that good people have to suffer so much needlessly to the point of wanting to die. What a shit world this truly is.

 

[Konjac]

I'm trying hard to fight off the thoughts but it's getting hard. Everyone I know is asleep and I don't want to wake anyone up because of my stupid brain, I might try a hotline but they never really help much. I hope I can just ride this out and get back to normal but I worry about my negative thoughts manifesting themselves into reality. I'm at a crossroads, I can either give up and just let myself hit rock bottom again or I can try to keep fighting and get back to living my best life. The only problem is I don't know how to properly fight back. I'm in some sort of mixed episode which is dangerous for me (my last serious OD happened during a mixed episode with psychotic features) and my next psych appointment is on Friday, it feels like I might not make it to Friday if I keep feeling like this. I need to snap out of it quickly.

 

[TheHatedOne]

i feel completely defeated and very alone. it's pitch black. i'm sick. looking forward to the final day.

 

[Ringo]

I'm nervous, pretty nervous, in just over an hour I have an important interview, I hope everything goes well.

 

[Sherri]

today I feel a bit low, one of those meh days…

 

[Foresight]

Hungry, but I've lost weight. I think I'm ready to practice piano today. I feel I don't like to get better. Eternal damnation is like a comfort zone for me instead of forward thinking. No matter what I do I'll always be physically deformed and face the harsh consequences of that.

Whatever though. I want to die in a body I liked and play myself a goodbye song.

 

[Noctis]

I realized I've actively ruined my life at every crossroads I've faced. I've purposefully made terrible decisions.

I think I did it to try to make my life as miserable as possible to convince myself to end it.

What an incredibly fucked up way to live life.

 

[TheHatedOne]

I caught a cold motherfucking cold can't even move and I have to go...

 

[S like suicide]

I feel totally desperate,totally alone,totally screwed,totally trapped

 

[PursuitofWonder]

Thirsty af… like for water.

 

[Foresight]

Lazy. I don't know how to make forward movements and build something. All I know to do is bunker down and survive day to day.

I just subconsciously don't think I'm a good investment.

 

[demuic]

Wishing there was always an easy answer.

 

[JCcog]

I'm feeling normal. Not suicidal at all after reading some stuff here. My thumb hurts from the scrolling, though

 

[DunnoWhyButYeah]

I hurt so much. I lost a friend, for the second time and now forever. It's just the end. It feels like I can't cry enough and the worst nightmare came true. Why is this happening again? I can't take it anymore

 

[sick.faery]

sad & scared

 

[Manaaja]

I wish everyone and everything was doing much better in every way. I want to see happiness, I want to experience happiness.

 

[fatefulstillness]

I'm not safe and my mind is a blur. The things that led to this point don't matter, I don't recall quite well. I'm silent because I can't scream, I won't move to call someone. I sense the danger but it doesn't feel mine. It's been three days of this, but I've done longer. Today's just too messy. If I could drop dead or fall asleep for a month it would be fantastic. I can't go, it won't go away. There's no escape.

 

[Seaghost]

Ridden by fears...
It seems I have to pay back ~860€ to the authority.
I don't have it.
And I really tried to be good and look forward somehow....haha...ha...fuck you life

 

[StarryStarry]

confused, rejected, neglected, unloved, lonely, sad, mad, let down

 

[WonderingSoul]

lonely as fuck

 

[- crybaby -]

Regret .

 

[tiredsadandlonely]

Pukey anxious.
Lightheaded.
Could use some good luck, for a change.
Thankful for the support I've been given, but, now feel I owe people a lot.
I'm not sure that feeling is going away.

 

[TheHatedOne]

can't stop coughing and still sore throat. fuck this pos body. how tf am I gonna clean today.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Whenever I buy unhealthy food and beer I just end up consuming all of it in one day or less. Yesterday I bought like six beers, a bag of lollipops, doritos and two packs of sausages. Ended up consooming all of it (along with breakfast, lunch and dinner, of course) and then having the digestion impact my sleep somewhat. I have to limit myself at the buying stage, I have no self-control since I have no reason to have self-control.

 

[Arrow]

i actually feel relaxed right now