Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[Scribble Fan]

I'm upset that my SN order got cancelled. I may have to change my plan to jumping but I just don't have the guts. I'm afraid of heights.

 

[artemis1223]

The sooner I die, the better. I am tired of being sick, worried, etc. Tired of seeing our world destroy itself. I am 70 years old. The only thing I think about are my cats. They are seniors, also. Where would they go? I will be homeless soon, never lived out of my car. I'm so scared.

 

[TheHatedOne]

Things are going to shit faster than I thought...

 

[motel rooms]

I should have realized that the unfortunate person who thinks I'm persecuting them probably suffers from borderline personality/emotionally unstable disorder made worse by alcohol abuse. Life is unbearably unfair & disgusting.

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

Feel tense, with a lot of fucking despair. It's gonna be another great night…..

 

[DunnoWhyButYeah]

What is right and what is wrong? Should I "listen to my heart" or trust my mind and live a life that is missing something ... I'm an emotional person and it causes harm to me and others. I hate this. Anxiety, moral problem, sadness, longing, hurt. I want to get rid of my feelings, I want to be empty again and I don't want to feel anything. I can't sleep.

 

[TheHatedOne]

I'm at my limits mentally because of a certain ..... mhhhmhmmmmhm ... human. he got everything he wanted from the bullshit he did to me so i hope he fucking stays away from me from now on.

 

[Scribble Fan]

I'm so sick and tired of being me. I wish I was some socially adept, confident extrovert instead of this socially awkward, introverted, traumatized wreck. Every day hurts.

 

[Phill]

I'm anxious because I gotta have an important conversation with my boss. I've been postponing it since last week, and the more I do it the more anxious I get.

 

[motel rooms]

I feel like I'm being stalked by an unfortunate person afflicted with borderline personality disorder.

 

[carcassi]

Struggling with motivation for school

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

The urges are still so intense.

 

[TheHatedOne]

i can't really get over the dissappearance of my friend... i was thinking earlier... they didn't tell me much about themself, because they didn't want me or anyone else get attached to them and then be hurt by their inevitable death. i wonder if they struggled before they went which i hope not, what were their last thoughts, what were they feeling... i actually teared up earlier. were they all alone irl? I still remember in the last message they sent that they told me I made their day because I was feeling better. But also how the present will be lost soon. It was so sudden... it breaks me.

 

[Circles]

Whenever I learn something new about this fucked up world and it just makes me feel disgusted with being human. Every time I learn a new dark depressing fact about this world or how humans treat each other something dies in me.

 

[sleepisanescape]

I feel numb. I feel like I'm in some transient holding cell in between reality and a horrible dream state. I don't feel real. I feel like I'm already dead and vaguely controlling a body.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish this life would just go away. The thing that I want the most is to not experience anything ever again. As usual, I am tired of existing. I want to drift off into an eternal sleep, there will never be anything for me here.

 

[Deleted member 8579]

I want my head to be crushed by a tombstone.

 

[Manaaja]

Will spring ever come?

 

[TheHatedOne]

im very misanthropish rn and have huge self harm urges.

 

[stygal]

strong for not letting others treat me like shit ever again

 

[Beachygirl]

Feel so empty

 

[TheHatedOne]

sooo. it's saint andrew here today and i celebrate one of my names... well theoretically cause irl i'm crying after the loss of my friend and feel like never ever before to ctb becuase everyone is just awful and everything is awfull and fuck it all...

 

[TheHatedOne]

i'm feeling very weird because... i've been thinking about the end of the week when i will ctb on and off today and... it's weird. was today the last time i saw my cat? the last time i saw those shitheads that destroyed my life? it was all... too casual, i don't know. And then I've been wondering about them, those shitheads that are called parents but shouldn't, what if they will have other reaction than what I'm anticipating after i ctb? Bleh, fucking thinking. I'm not letting this get in my way. But then again, having to leave my cat and my friend (especially after I myself experienced the loss of a friend recently)... I feel like I'm horrible, maybe I really am a monster.

 

[http-410]

I feel suicidal af, desperate, tired, under pressure.

I have lost. I've tried so many times and every time I've lost. It's enough. I'm tired of people telling me I haven't tried. I despise myself that I am still alive. Sometimes I wish for an agonizing death, even though I want nothing but peace. Isn't an agonizing death what I deserve? I have known for a long time that I am a parasite. But I am not only that, I am much, much worse - which I didn't even know.

A parasite must be eradicated. I don't belong anywhere, at most six feet under the ground. Never have I given anything of value back, I am a bad person, if I am one at all.

 

[TheHatedOne]

im kinda stunned... and dont know how to react... i dont know anymore... should i end it or put up with shit just for him? i dont know.

 

[Enigmatic Sailor]

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[UseItOrLoseIt]

This is getting serious. I know it is cause I'm getting quiet.
Everything is ready. The props are ready, the only actor in the play is ready to hit the stage. No lines to remember, no audience to see it. He feels the tension raising and he savours it.

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

Really want to do a lot of bad things. But my friends wouldn't be happy, and I have plans to hang out with people this week. It's a good thing I got rid of the Adderall and razor blades.

This is getting serious. I know it is cause I'm getting quiet.
Everything is ready. The props are ready, the only actor in the play is ready to hit the stage. No lines to remember, no audience to see it. He feels the tension raising and he savours it.

This resonates

 

[Manaaja]

I wanna be myself, my happy self. I want to go to my happy world. I hope that I go to sleep and the next morning I wake up in a good, happy world, my own kind of world. Never again in this world.

 

[Seaghost]

I don't know what to do.
My body is again in some kind of pushing mode, means pain in my intestines.
I makes my weak, sleepless and gains my depression.
Why? Why?
I still not have the right amount of money for my ctb cocktail so why again this pain?
Every direction I choose hurts me after a few miles.
I don't understand.
At the moment I'm standing in between...

This fucking life is sickening. A few days are better and than comes the big punishment.

Oh and my biggest mistake today was I was viewing some "old" pictures and videos of the scotland trip with my ex. Not good...not good. Damn.