Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Dread
Fear
Paralysis
Anxiety

I have fallen so far behind on this thread and the say one word thread.
The likes are very slow and freezes my screen.
For some reason SoundCloud no longer works for me so I can't listen to some songs in the music threads.

 

[star.trip]

I feel unmotivated, forced to put on a brave face or smile when I have to talk to someone. Inside, I feel shattered and empty, and having to pretend that I'm okay is getting harder and harder.

 

[Minfilia]

guess who's homeless fml

 

[FoolsExpedition]

none of my abusers will ever face any consequences, they're all happy, i'll never even get so much as an apology. all the horrific things they've done and i'm the one who has to die.

 

[smirks00ts]

its 2:50 am and i csnt bring myself go sleep whatsoever. I am also anxious and paranoid. I hate it here.

 

[deadanddecomposing]

oddly content. life feels unsteady, but right now, I feel comfortable and safe curled up in bed.

 

[Canto XIII]

Sleepy. It's 2 am here and I'll probably go to bed.

 

[star.trip]

It's 02:34 a.m. I can't sleep. I'm listening to music in the dark, looking out of the window at the few stars that the streetlight allows me to see.

 

[Alcoholic Teletubby]

Sometimes, I wish I could be paid for livestreaming my self-harm. No sex required, just showcasing myself to viewers who are willing to pay. But it's a bad idea.

 

[Andarna]

this year has been one disaster after another

 

[Whisper_]

like this is all that will ever be. like i'll never be close to anyone. i'll never be touched. listened to. loved. like i'll die in my apartment alone and no one will notice until i start to smell.

 

[pond]

Kind of irritated.

I was playing a game today and there was a woman who was poking fun at a guy being nice to me (they revived me/gave me heals). It was all fun and games to her but I also got caught in the crossfire as she was jokingly taunting him about white knighting and stuff. Like why?

'Strong personalities' make me so uncomfortable. Especially when the ones with strong personalities are women who put down other women. She probably didn't mean to be offensive, and she can be nice in general, but I don't really like the way she talks/jokes around sometimes.

It would be much easier if I weren't so sensitive and could just wave off differences in personality. It would also be much easier if I just died already lol. I'm an overly sensitive, hypocritical, talentless, unskilled, unintelligent, ugly, disgusting, and laughably useless wuss in a world I hate that loves to bring me pain and suffering 🫩

The playerbase for this game is extremely small though so I can really only play with the same people all the time if I want to play.

 

[BlendedHeart]

My job is tanking. My health is declining. What would it take to make me take that final step and get out of this life once and for all?

 

[catgirlfailure]

Overwhelmed and trapped because of my laziness and my fears

 

[darksouls]

still trapped in MDD hell

 

[Surek]

I don't know if I'll do it today or tomorrow, but I'm running out of time to put it off. And I'm also worried about him

 

[meiherasayuri]

I'm just nervous, I just want to cry like a baby, maybe it's too late for me, maybe... I never had a chance, I never have, I'm just a miserable being who never had a chance To be with the one I truly love, is this the end? Have I stopped loving him or am I just getting tired? I will never stop loving you, but I will never tell you to your face because Cowardice won again; if I stop loving you, I'll only hurt myself more and more Why do I love you?

 

[pond]

^ Omg, a MiziSua fan!

I hate. I just hate everything. I hate myself. I hate my parents. Even when it's for something that isn't too serious, no one takes my side. No one ever takes my side. It always feels like they're all getting off on siding with each other.

I told Dad on the phone that I was too scared to readjust the door to the deck because the thunder was frighteningly loud and he was only dumbfounded, asking how I could be scared of thunder. It was so loud with the door open that it felt like the lightning could hit me.

I then told my mom later how I felt a little hurt that Dad wasn't trying to understand me at all, and she just half-jokingly replied with the same thing he said. She does this all the time. None of them care. She always takes his side. All of these moments pile up into resentment and sadness and hatred. And then they wonder why I get so mad.

I'm so sick of being alive. Why do you two think I'm angry? Do you really think it's just my "temper?" Why do you two not understand that it's your fault I've become a person that's so easily mad and sad. You should have had worn a condom, you perverted fucks. You should have aborted me. You should have never given birth to me. Living is so painful. Thinking is so painful. Feeling is so painful. I want to die.

 

[SoulCage]

Only a few more meters to reach the finish line.

 

[overlyelusive]

its been almost two years since the breakup, and I still feel just as bad as if it had just happened. still sobbing when i wake up, still wishing things were different. every attempt i've made to date someone else feels like i'm meeting goofy cartoonishly awful characters. it always just seems so pathetic and I can't feel a thing. i want to ctb soon, my first attempt was stopped and my method was thrown away. been a few months since then and i feel more resolved than ever. i hope i can rest soon.

 

[amnesia999]

Pretty depressed. My wife (of over 30 years) and I are not getting along, and it's bugging the hell out of me. I don't know WTF to do. Any conversation we have could potentially turn into a fight. Separation sounds plausible, but if we got a divorce, there goes the house. And I don't have friends. Which is why I came back here and downloaded the PPH.

Of everything in there, the H₂S method sounds like the most plausible. (Not necessarily fun, or pain-free, but plausible.) You can buy both ingredients off of Amazon with no questions asked, and do it in your car...

 

[Apology]

Numb

Worried

Numb

Concerned

Numb

Anxious

Lugubrious

Careless

Sleepless

Worrisome

Worried

Numb

 

[Buh-bye!]

So frustrated at my current self that I feel anxious about my future. Killing myself seems to be outside the equation these days. Until, urges reappear when everything becomes insanely difficult or upsetting. Optimism lead to even more doom.

 

[blue-moon-miki]

i feel so exhausted, both mentally and physically. i cried so much i feel empty. everything is a mess and everything is my fault. i ate food even though i didn't deserve to. i just want to go to sleep and never wake up. a long, peaceful sleep where i drift between dreams...

 

[The Eternal One]

Literally in tears and desperate to die over a terrible shift at work. Gods, I'm pathetic. Just breaking down over nothing, any other person would have never cared about this.
I wish I was never born, I'm so tired of living. Why would I ever come to this planet. Everything's hell, everything's is such an indescribable hell.
I want to die so bad, I can't even put it to words.

 

[aspenjrojas]

I wanna break myself and appear so lost and fucked up before I die. I wanna ruin my body with drugs, I wanna become so sickly thin that people can see it. But at the same time I wanna tattoo my whole body and I wanna pierce up my face and ears and I wanna dye my hair red or green or blue. I wanna always be high but at the same time always be low. I wanna seem like a non-functional human being and completely lose myself. I wanna do whatever the hell I want until I feel so low that I commit.

 

[Tyra]

A bit scared.

 

[MaeW]

I try to stay positive, but after a while I start remembering everything and I end up feeling bad again.

 

[yotaka]

The entire world is run by dipshits with no self awareness and no critical thought and I don't want to be here

 

[MaeW]

Today I feel better, less negative, and more open to different options and perspectives.