Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[darksouls]

stressed, because I often got kicked out

 

[iamalreadydead]

Theres just been a big gaping black hole in my chest since i was a fucking baby

 

[TwistedNightmares]

Feeling low on energy. I don't even have the energy or any motivation to get out of bed. I hate feeling this way.

 

[NZkiwi]

i need to take my meds and go to bed

seeing my psychiatrist tmrw

 

[Sockeye Salmon]

nothing ever happens

 

[hurts2b]

Stressed. Unbelievably concerned about this future. A future I know I'm not supposed to be here for. I have hope and it's a dangerous thing. Because if and when that hope gets crushed...

Reality is a cruel thing. And I could well get eaten alive no matter what I do.

 

[pond]

I can't take it. I think my sister is back for good. I think my face has already aged 15 years ahead because of her presence in the past 4 years. I don't want to go back to the more stressful days around her. I don't want to go back to walking on the treadmill nearly all waking hours and going to the gym everyday to avoid her. I haven't gotten any control over my ED that she caused since she was here. And now it's just going to get worse again. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I really fucking don't want to do this. Please go away. Please. Please. Please leave me alone. Please. My body is so tired thinking about my routine again. Stress is so goddamn painful. I can't do this again.

 

[mmoebread]

slightly happy, i think i should be sadder rn since i just lost the reason i've been able to live this long, but i'm relieved i finally don't really have anything weighing me down to ctb and that my hope has been killed

 

[lifesnotfair]

I feel like a robot; there is nothing unique or even consistently different about my day-to-day existence. I wake up, eat, do nothing all day, sleep, and repeat; all I can do is count down the days until it's time to ctb.

 

[whorror]

How am I supposed to get a job when my mental health issues make me unable to hold a job. Ffs

 

[suncide10]

wanna cry

 

[TwistedNightmares]

I'm mentally drained and exhausted. Today was awful. I wish I can escape from my mom, but I can't. Why do I have to be trapped here? Why why why whhhhyy.

 

[15atNoon]

Tired and really want to sleep but at the same time, I don't want to since it just brings the next workday closer.

 

[StupidGirl001]

I feel empty. Like if you slice me open, you'll find nothing there. Just black emptiness. I go through life mechanically, and it's like every emotion I feel is fake. Like they're really just at the surface. Beneath, there's nothing. It's weird. I know what to feel but I don't feel it.

I'm hurting and because of that, I end up hurting others. I don't want to cause pain anymore. I don't want to feel pain anymore. I just want it all to end.

I hate myself. I'm too wrong.
Everyone says I have a great future ahead but my body is wrong. it looks wrong and im stuck. id doesnt change...

 

[whorror]

(I wanna vent a little)

Another day of you triggering my abandonment issues. I fucking hate you and the way you are trying to break us apart. I know what you are doing, asshole, you won't fool me, I see it, I see what you are, and I'm not just gonna stand there while you are trying your little schemes. Get the fuck out.

 

[nemoss]

I'm going theough a divorce of a 7 year marriage and just feel like dying. He divorced me over text. And now I'm here feeling shitty and wanting to ctb. I try to sleep and all I can see is his face and the memories we had together. I can't function normally. It's been two weeks and he is already back in the dating scene

 

[MaeW]

Tired of my anxiety

 

[ForsakenEcho]

I feel like crying

 

[Nothing.]

Worse

 

[2Sensible]

(venting) Kind of angry at my stepfather which is my driving instructor because he treat me too harshly during the yesterday lesson

 

[Lost in a Dream]

I feel so bad for people here on this site who are going through such horrible shit, but it sucks knowing there's nothing more I can do than try to be there for them and offer my understanding wherever possible. Being empathetic towards their suffering never feels good enough, and it probably isn't in most cases. Sometimes when I read a thread or get a message about someone's trauma, all it does is make me feel sad, but also angry at the same time. Not angry at them, but at those who hurt them and the world itself for being such an ugly place filled with so much suffering.

In cases where the trauma was caused by other people, I always hope that the people who hurt them learn their lesson in this life or the next, and see the error of their ways somehow. I hope they will be plagued with guilt for the evil things they've done and hate themselves enough to understand what it's like to be a member here. I don't wish for anyone to be tormented forever in Hell or something like that, because to me, Hell is nothing but a revenge fantasy where the hurt person wishes for those who hurt them to suffer worse than them and for it to last forever.

While I understand why someone might feel that way, wouldn't it be better if in the afterlife, people who cause others trauma would just suffer enough to have a change of heart? Perhaps if there is a God, and if they were truly just, they would see to it that evil people endure their own evil through the eyes of their victims. Perhaps if they felt the way their victims felt, they WOULD have a change of heart and at that point could be given the option to not exist if they prefer, or be redeemed in some other way.

I know I'm rambling a bit, but these are just the thoughts and feelings I have in my mind right now. I know the thread says not to think, just type, but it's hard to type out what I'm feeling without also thinking long and hard about what I want to say.

 

[explosiveKai99]

Overwhelm. Slight psychosis I would say. Sense of emergency with no clear plan of action.

 

[SadPsych]

Dreading work today. Not for any particular reason, just because I hate the stress and anxiety I get from it daily. I started the week in a dark place, crying and barely being able to get out of bed. Yesterday and today I just feel kinda numb? Idk what I'm doing here. Just kinda venting into the void I guess

 

[Redacted24]

Wounded and bleeding out

 

[WirelessConnections]

Dreading work today. Not for any particular reason, just because I hate the stress and anxiety I get from it daily.

I'm in the same boat. I'm at work right now and it's off to a bad start. I always dread it, and I always get the emotional wind kicked out of me every time I come in.

I keep making stupid mistakes, my coworkers talk to me so condescendingly. People give me this look and I just feel like some kind of monster. I've wanted to quit for months now but I don't know where else I'd go. I feel so much self hatred and anger every time I come here. I just want to feel accepted.

 

[turbomightbegone]

im so loved
maybe too loved evebn though its just one person doing all the loving

 

[TwistedNightmares]

I've been crying on and off for the past few days (including today) and have been feeling a lot more depressed than usual. I can't do this shit for much longer. I wish there was an easy way out.

 

[chirpchrip2222]

I feel overwhelmed, uncertain, everything seems to irritate me and stuff i used to like doesn't generate a measurable amount of happiness for the past 2 weeks, rest i can't really explain as it doesn't make much sense to myself

 

[whorror]

I'm so mad. I can't stand it any longer. I'm so sick and tired of you and your continued interference into my life. Get the fuck out already.

 

[left0vers]

I'm so depleted of energy I want to close my eyes and vanish.