Scribble Fan
I'm out!
- May 30, 2019
- 815
I feel deeply and thoroughly damaged, broken to my core. Why did I have to turn out like this?
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Hey Guest,
As you know, censorship around the world has been ramping up at an alarming pace. The UK and OFCOM has singled out this community and have been focusing its censorship efforts here. It takes a good amount of resources to maintain the infrastructure for our community and to resist this censorship. We would appreciate any and all donations.
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Security update: At around 2:28AM EST, the site was labeled as malicious by Google erroneously, causing users to get a "Dangerous site" warning in most browsers. It appears that this was done by mistake and has been reversed by Google. It may take a few hours for you to stop seeing those warnings.
If you're still getting these warnings, please let a member of staff know.
Now_And_Then
If I am no good , then let me out
- Jun 30, 2019
- 277
BitterlyAlive_
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- Dec 8, 2020
- 2,394
Mood is absolutely horrible. Suicidal as fuck, got those SH urges and that hurts too. Pissed because all I managed to do today was draw a bit. Just another day. Nothing I can do about it.
Mr. Whippy
lonely hermit
- Feb 17, 2020
- 59
i have never failed to fail
Lupgevif
.
- Jul 23, 2020
- 928
http-410
nowhere
- Sep 12, 2020
- 1,048
Psychache.
Annoyed by people trying to convince me to take pills. If I had the choice of taking useless pills again or killing myself, I would choose the latter.
It's enough.
Yes, I'm suffering, depression is kicking hard at the moment. All I want is a gentle, quick exit. Grant it to me and I will no longer be a burden on this shitty health care system and society. I'm not saying this out of an inferiority complex. I just want to leave, I'm sick of it. It's the same thing over and over again. Financial aid applications, bureaucracy, mental pain and numbness. This is the content in my so called "life" that just feels like a bad dream anyway. It's enough. I'm tired of it.
Release me from my existence. Turn off my brain. Pull the plug.
Annoyed by people trying to convince me to take pills. If I had the choice of taking useless pills again or killing myself, I would choose the latter.
It's enough.
Yes, I'm suffering, depression is kicking hard at the moment. All I want is a gentle, quick exit. Grant it to me and I will no longer be a burden on this shitty health care system and society. I'm not saying this out of an inferiority complex. I just want to leave, I'm sick of it. It's the same thing over and over again. Financial aid applications, bureaucracy, mental pain and numbness. This is the content in my so called "life" that just feels like a bad dream anyway. It's enough. I'm tired of it.
Release me from my existence. Turn off my brain. Pull the plug.
Scribble Fan
I'm out!
- May 30, 2019
- 815
I wish I could just scream at the top of my lungs right now. I don't know what that would accomplish but it sure would help me feel a little better / anything in general.
http-410
nowhere
- Sep 12, 2020
- 1,048
I feel crushed, over and over again. I want to finally get it over with, finally have some peace. Earlier I felt emotional pain, and right now maybe too, but dulled. I'm tired. I had nightmares, woke up several times and feel accordingly bad. Today was a useless day. Just sat around all the time. Often think about death.
I want to talk to someone irl, maybe my therapist about my plans, emotions and thoughts, but I think I won't be met with understanding. I feel trapped. In myself, my body and in this "life". What's the point of going to the doctor again. I know exactly what will happen: nothing. No one can take the burden off me. I know that I have to do this alone. But it would be nice if there were people who would support me without feeling obliged to "help".
I want to talk to someone irl, maybe my therapist about my plans, emotions and thoughts, but I think I won't be met with understanding. I feel trapped. In myself, my body and in this "life". What's the point of going to the doctor again. I know exactly what will happen: nothing. No one can take the burden off me. I know that I have to do this alone. But it would be nice if there were people who would support me without feeling obliged to "help".
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ohhgeeitsme
Wizard
- Feb 5, 2020
- 694
Why can't my brain just calm the fuck down? That's all I ask. I could so easily dig myself out of this hole if that one problem just went away. It may not make me happy and it wouldn't fix all my problems, but it would make me far more comfortable.
Callie Arcale
It’s a tale told by an idiot signifying nothing
- Feb 10, 2021
- 851
I feel stress, anxiety. I feel pain in my stomach from all the stress. I am depressed and empty. Don't even know what to write... I need the end to set me free.
BitterlyAlive_
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- Dec 8, 2020
- 2,394
Haha, just been wanting to hurt myself all day. Also, relatable.
This sounds so horrible. The agony comes across despite your uncertainty with what to say. Big hugs.
Ender
..
- Dec 29, 2020
- 269
My body is so weak, I'm so tired. March is coming, Spring is coming; as well as the boringness and dread that comes with it. Not to mention depressed, I'm so done.
Now_And_Then
If I am no good , then let me out
- Jun 30, 2019
- 277
BeansOfRequirement
Behind the guilt was compassion
- Jan 26, 2021
- 5,758
MrBlue
Arcanist
- Jul 1, 2020
- 416
I haven't even finished my corporate induction at my job yet and I've already badly fucked it up. This was supposed to be my last chance to turn my life around but I should have known better that my utter incompetence extends to everything I do.
Once I go to into work proper I'll make my co-workers dislike me within the first few days, and then they'll have to make up as much evidence to get rid of me as they can before my probation period runs out. While I'll feel guilty for repeatedly causing them more work to pick up my slack/fix my messes. I used to think I only failed to function socially, but I just can't human.
Once I go to into work proper I'll make my co-workers dislike me within the first few days, and then they'll have to make up as much evidence to get rid of me as they can before my probation period runs out. While I'll feel guilty for repeatedly causing them more work to pick up my slack/fix my messes. I used to think I only failed to function socially, but I just can't human.
W’ren
Worthless
- Oct 28, 2020
- 559
I'm trapped- because i don't want to take more meds but my therapist kinda suggested that i was making it difficult for her by saying "can i think about it?"... and she reminded me that she only took my case because it was supposed to be easy. (This was pre-pandemic).
I'm depressed- anxious- hopeless- dead inside... i just want to go home but there IS no home.
I can't die because i'm already dead... what is "living" really in this covid-restricted world? So frustrated. Too weary to try... can't tell the therapist cuz i'll be "too difficult..." no one will ever know-
I'm depressed- anxious- hopeless- dead inside... i just want to go home but there IS no home.
I can't die because i'm already dead... what is "living" really in this covid-restricted world? So frustrated. Too weary to try... can't tell the therapist cuz i'll be "too difficult..." no one will ever know-
Mr. Whippy
lonely hermit
- Feb 17, 2020
- 59
Tranquility, for the moment. I got rid of some problems, but i can see a lot more coming in my way and i know i'll get worse in a few days again, but it was good to have some relief.
feast or famine
Tell Patient Zero he can have his rib back.
- Jun 15, 2020
- 313
I feel like I could use a friend right now as pathetic as that sounds. I'm very gloomy as of late. I took a break from here and I told someone I spoke to that when people see you're gone from this site, there's two reasons they think you left - either because you're dead or because you're fully recovered. But there's this gray area in-between where I am, this perpetual state of limbo.
Being in this limbo keeps me venturing back here to a community where I can openly speak about these things, but I feel I'm at a loss of sorts. I feel like I'm just aimlessly wandering through life, desperately trying to find some sort of footing to at least keep myself treading water, but I'm failing miserably.
Anyways, such is life and that's enough of that. I would like to thank my insomnia for this rant.
Being in this limbo keeps me venturing back here to a community where I can openly speak about these things, but I feel I'm at a loss of sorts. I feel like I'm just aimlessly wandering through life, desperately trying to find some sort of footing to at least keep myself treading water, but I'm failing miserably.
Anyways, such is life and that's enough of that. I would like to thank my insomnia for this rant.
BeansOfRequirement
Behind the guilt was compassion
- Jan 26, 2021
- 5,758
Battling against my reproductive and competitive instincts, at least by proxy. Will go into mindfulness mode as much as possible, staying with my reasons against interpersonal comparisons, daily walks and lots of exercise, force myself to eat enough and so on. The pain from the loneliness has been doing a lot of damage the last couple of days, it's time to counter-attack.
Callie Arcale
It’s a tale told by an idiot signifying nothing
- Feb 10, 2021
- 851
I just had the most eerie sensation... everything in this post (even the dashes and the expressions "treading water" or "aimlessly wandering") seem to have been written by me. Isn't it strange how lonely we are, despite somehow having so much in common?
Umbreon
Weed Addict
- Aug 20, 2020
- 90
MewtwoIsAlive
Suffering
- Jul 11, 2020
- 216
Mr. Whippy
lonely hermit
- Feb 17, 2020
- 59
almamuerta
That's me in the corner
- Nov 22, 2020
- 18
Sleep no longer brings me comfort. Either I don't sleep, have anxiety induced nightmares, or am in a twilight like state. Regardless, I am always exhausted the following day. I do not remember the last time I woke up refreshed, but it was eons ago...
punisheralbum
Member
- Feb 19, 2021
- 17
Fear. I'm so far from where I can see myself being happy. I struggle with anhedonia and dissociation so bad that even my physical sensations are dulled.
BeanyBoo
Member
- Jan 23, 2020
- 43
I'm thinking this thread got 988 replies in 20some minutes. Wow !
Personally I'm thinking...is there a tinnitus topic group ? I don't know how to find it. I've had tinnitus for 30 years. I've learned to live with it. It's not been a huge issue but lately one ear has started having a drumming sound..kinda like a helicopter noise. Holy Hell, it's brutal. I wonder if I can get used to it. Still, it won't be a reason to ctb. Just another health issue I really don't need to deal with.
Ha..I see now this topic started 2 years ago..not 20 minutes.
My mistake.
I don't know if or how to edit my previous reply.
Ha..I see now this topic started 2 years ago..not 20 minutes.
My mistake.
I don't know if or how to edit my previous reply.
Personally I'm thinking...is there a tinnitus topic group ? I don't know how to find it. I've had tinnitus for 30 years. I've learned to live with it. It's not been a huge issue but lately one ear has started having a drumming sound..kinda like a helicopter noise. Holy Hell, it's brutal. I wonder if I can get used to it. Still, it won't be a reason to ctb. Just another health issue I really don't need to deal with.
Ha..I see now this topic started 2 years ago..not 20 minutes.
My mistake.
I don't know if or how to edit my previous reply.
Ha..I see now this topic started 2 years ago..not 20 minutes.
My mistake.
I don't know if or how to edit my previous reply.
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