Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[Dr Iron Arc]

My back hurts. Ouch. Went to the doctor. Can't lie on the couch.

At least I got the cool Shadow poster for seeing Transformers One in theaters. That movie was nothing special but at least the poster is cool.

 

[SomewhereAlongThe]

I just feel sort of empty. It's been a tough time trying to decide rather I want to CTB or not. I think I'm finally giving into what I desire the most, death. I was philosophical about it at first, I thought death was better than living philosophically, but now I'm more pragmatic about it, death is just something I want to happen to me. I feel like life is not for me and there's nothing suitable for me here to keep living. So I shall return to that peaceful place we were all in before we were born. :)

 

[amnesia999]

I'm feeling broke. Because I am. Especially by being away from work due to anxiety (and other) issues for 2-1/2 months. At least we've reached the weekend and the weather's going to be nice. It's time to take a nap.

God, I wish I was smart.

From what I've seen, you are smart. (And not at all shy about expressing yourself.) Stop beating yourself up.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

From what I've seen, you are smart. (And not at all shy about expressing yourself.) Stop beating yourself up.

No, not really. It's easy to seem smart on a surface level. Just say a bunch of slop and people will quickly eat it up. Bonus points if said people think similarly to you. Being intelligent goes beyond that. I'm not very smart and am very behind my peers. This isn't me beating myself up but rather is just an acknowledgement of one of my major flaws.

 

[Tac0Johnz]

Neutral?, comforted, a little excited for whts to come for me in the future

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I was going to do some schoolwork today, but I'm cramping a lot so I'll have to do it tomorrow. My last couple of periods have been coming on time, which is good. So far, the only thing I've felt this morning is pain (just a normal amount though).

 

[nattanatta]

I can't do this. I'm so tired of crying and feeling anxious and terrible every single day, no matter what I do. So tired of being constantly reminded of how the only thing that helped was taken away from me. I just want to give up already. It will never get better.

 

[amnesia999]

Fuck and shit. My 85 year old partner's tongue was half numb. (She thinks it might be because she has fused vertebrae in her neck.) So she called the advice nurse and they told her she had to go to the hospital by ambulance. Knowing my tough-as-nails partner, it's probably no big deal, but the advice nurse thought it might be a stroke. Fuck and shit.

[Edit] Well, she's back home after they ran a gazillion tests, and they're not sure what caused her symptoms -- maybe something brain-related -- but she seems to be fine. Better safe than sorry I guess. That's life when you're in your mid-80s. :-) Phew.

 

[Just_Another_Person]

Loneliness

 

[billie]

I'm worthless

 

[notwhereIbelong]

I'm getting bad again
The idea of CTB is coming back

 

[Davey40210]

Like my heart is in a thousand pieces. A sense of longing. A feeling of regret. Having everything I wanted but throwing it away due to my mental problems.

This speech kind of sums it up for me

 

[WithTheFlow]

My dad just texted me something angry... time to ghost my family for a while, again.

 

[CTB Dream]

Me rly no want stay nonsns life no want this nonsns unvrs, rly hadnf pain sffr no stop, need mthd need ctb

 

[lemonbunny]

screwed forever. i want to stop trying

 

[Soph]

Sad, empty and hopeless

 

[rocksnrocks]

i am so very tired. i don't feel much of anything anymore i am just exhausted

 

[AbsurdAbyss]

i need help i won't get.

 

[sukiduki]

feeling highly emotional these past few days. heard some information i kinda knew but didn't wanna know. ive been crying every day for the past couple days. i want it to end but i told myself i have to wait until next year to ctb to take care of a few things. i wish i didn't feel guilt or worry or responsible for things so i could just end it now.

 

[BlendedHeart]

Sometimes I think I've made peace with the fact I will always be alone, but there are times when I crave for company, for a girlfriend, someone who actually loves me. But that combines with my sense of eternal solitude, and makes me feel worse.

 

[Just_Another_Person]

Hungriness

 

[Mirrory Me]

Life is bullshit, every day there's a new issue or health condition like I was mental, but actually, life just gives me bad vibes constantly.

 

[LapseInTime]

There was one event in my life I can't forget about. I want to go back in time before it happened. I was a good person, I was melancholic but I was happy. Ever since that moment I have lost everything. It has affected me in multiple ways. I am not "me" anymore. I feel like I am carrying the corpse of who I was on my back, every single day. I want to go back, I want to be that person again. I was a good person...

 

[Meowers]

Don't feel much. I have only a year before I CTB and I'm making peace that I'll die young. Kinda hurts but it's comforting to know that it will be all over soon. I wish that I was given the chance experience the beauty of life, but it's fine if I didn't had to. Life isn't just for all of us, you know? Some are much more fortunate than others. I simpky accepted that fact that I'm about to die and I'm preparing for my death. Right now, I'm just spending my time chatting random strangers in Reddit. I wanna make them happy, make them feel lonely. I would never want others to experience what I am experiencing now. Feels like I have terminal illness. Counting down the days...

 

[Todsünde]

Exhausted and done while still keeping up the fight cause I kinda know where I wanna go with my existence. Pretty scared to finally live for myself and do what I want to.

 

[boddibo]

no matter how hard I try to make a change un my life,
I'm stuck in the same loop over and over again

 

[HereTomorrow]

Had a dream where a public toilet lid couldn't be opened after 30 seconds of advertisements plays, and after the flush the lid would close.

I'm bothered how normal it seems having woke up, and how I wouldn't be phased if they implemented something like this in real life to get money, particularly in road stops.

Every place is advertisements, just to spend our last few seconds being asked if we want to buy food. It's sad. I understand why but it makes me sad.

 

[ImsooDone1N]

Worthless, disgusting, tired, empty & scared.

 

[wCvML2]

Paranoid, lost and helpless. I hate how whenever I have a problem my brain always tells me to not trust my own family with it even though there is no evidence backing up this distrust. I basically fear they might turn against me any moment no matter how removed it is from reality. I hid so many problems from my parents. It's exhausting to be this relentlessly paranoid.

 

[End_it_all]

Uncomfortable in my own body, like I want to crawl out my skin. I have major sensory overload and everything is annoying me.