Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[whywere]

Have nobody at all in this world, really not 1 person that I can get a hug or smile from. I am suicidal with massive depression and thought about it the other day, when I leave no one will even know. That is why I LOVE this web site. I have fianlly found friends here that do not judge me and I feel like I have a huge family. THANK you to everyone for making me feel valued.

 

[Deleted member 18655]

Useless

 

[Worthless_nobody]

Just a pointless vent but seriously I hate those 55+ communities (USA) why can't young people have that luxury too? The luxury of a safe community with people who want peace and quiet and share common interests....why do only older people get that? It's bull shit.....like I seriously wish I could pass myself off as 45 (usually the min age) just so I could get safe quiet living too....ugh

 

[inactive]

Disappointed but not surprised.

 

[deadgirlahsatan]

Pain

 

[Emily_Numb]

Absolutely out of control. My moods are all over the place. I'm drinking and smoking (tobacco) way too much and need to stop. Getting fat from binging without purging as my husband has been working from home since February because of Covid and I have no private time to binge/purge properly. It's so frustrating

 

[deltahead]

i feel like people are subconsciously aware of all the harm they do or enable and an even more subconscious part of them just plain doesn't care

 

[harkovv]

im so tired of no one understanding me and me not knowing how to express myself. i have no friends or family cuz no one gets me. i know everyone thinks they do but they don't. i want someone to see right through me:-)

 

[Bigyeah]

Completely worthless, a burden, apathetic.

 

[Mila]

Exhausted. Want to sleep and never wake up.

Same

Exhausted. Want to sleep and never wake up.

Same

 

[AllReturnsToNothing]

I don't think a century long nap would get rid of the fatigue I feel.

 

[Never Free]

So sad. Want to go to Memphis. Will never deal with my suicide addiction alone. Need in in person meeting. The phone calls weren't enough. Got worse after experiencing a loss

Same


Same

Feel that. Want to destroy my organs so bad, they can not revive me this time

 

[XYZ]

Stressed, sick of everything, don't wanna get up tomorrow and go to work.

 

[alexit]

Freaking out

 

[Deleted member 18655]

I'm feeling gloriously disconnected - from my past, my present and my future; from people I hated and those I loved; from anyone I ever needed and from everyone who ever let me down. Ahhhhhhh

 

[H2H2]

Relapsed once again. I can still make August my best month ever since I started keeping a record if I dont fall into the pattern. July was horrible.

 

[deadgirlahsatan]

Terrible

 

[Øystein]

Different. Different than usual, and although this feeling is burning a painful hole in my chest, I can almost say that I like it, because it's different from how I normally suffer. It's this feeling of extreme hate towards myself just splashing all over my body. I'm not even worried about anything anymore, all I feel is disgust to my own person. It's just hilarious how much of a failure I am and how I manage to make everyone not want to get anywhere close to me. It's so terribly pathetic and I might just start laughing. What a fucking loser. I'm pretty sure everyone is just waiting for me to ctb at this point. They know that no one can be this blind to not see how shitty they are. Oh god, haha.

 

[Deleted member 18655]

I was doing well all day. I wasn't thinking about anything or anyone and then all of a sudden, as I'm making dinner, I got soft and started thinking and feeling about how abandonned I've been. I started missing certain people and places and wondering "why?" "Whyyyyyyyyyyyy!?" I got so triggered that I had to take something to stop from shaking. Now, five hours later, I'm toggling between being impatient to ctb and shamelessly (and pointlessly) let myself daydream that there's some shred of a chance things could change.

Idiot. They can't. Go to bed and try again tomorrow.

 

[Exhausted1705]

Hollow, cold, dark, empty, alone, shitty, incomplete, cruel

 

[NomadicWolf382]

Conflicted at the moment with emotions and thoughts, that I have not felt in what feels like eons.

 

[BrokenLine]

Alone, hopeless, tired in every way.

 

[sadstuffie]

I feel stuck & defeated, I cant change anything. Feel like my efforts amount to nothing. Feel like no one truly cares & everyone actually is secretly hoping I just go ahead & do it already.

 

[XYZ]

Another fight. Another regret. Another venom injection. I am a prisoner of my own weakness. I deserve it all. I hate myself.

 

[NomadicWolf382]

I wish I could just hold her in my arms right now and cry...

 

[Abgrundanziehung]

Just a pointless vent but seriously I hate those 55+ communities (USA) why can't young people have that luxury too? The luxury of a safe community with people who want peace and quiet and share common interests....why do only older people get that? It's bull shit.....like I seriously wish I could pass myself off as 45 (usually the min age) just so I could get safe quiet living too....ugh

Me too! I think about that sort of thing a lot.

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

i feel nauseous. i feel disgusted with myself. i wish i wasn't so horrible. i wish i was normal. i wish this world wasn't so horrible.

but i also feel strangely elated because i decided on a method, and i'm going on a trip with my family. i'm also working on finishing a few stories i've been letting collect dust.

i hope i can find peace someday, whether that means alive or six feet under. i hope the rest of you can find peace too.

 

[XYZ]

It's two hours past midnight. So much anxiety. I can't take it anymore. Please stop. Please let me sleep. I just wanna get some sleep.

 

[NomadicWolf382]

Not looking forward to pushing myself with deliveries for the next eight days, especially since the acquisition of Caviar by DoorDash has made both apps very volatile and unpredictable.

 

[SterileMoth]

empty. mepty. empty. There's nothing there, there's nothing here. I am nothing. I have nothing. I will be nothing. I want it to stop. I want everything to stop. I wish I had something to ctb now. I don't like the waiting, the planning, the fact everything is so inaccessible. I thought I was going to get better. I really thought things would be okay. i thought i could do this. nothing matters though. nothing fucking matters. it all hurts. everything hurts. I just don't want to be here anymore. i just don't want to feel this anymore. im just so tired of feeling like this. nothing matters. I am worthless. I am no one. Im never going to get anywhere or be anyone of importance, another face everyone knows but no one cares about. i think I'm done. I'm just done. theres no point in any of this. i wish i could just leave. I don't want this anymore. i dont want this i don't want this i don't want this. you were supposed to be the one, you were supposed to be there for me, you were supposed to listen and communicate and TRY and YOU DIDN'T. You never fucking DID. I did fucking everything i tried to be better i tried to help you and you didn't help me or yourself you just kept going and kept hurting me and kept not caring and then finally did one last thing to show how much you didn't care.
I just want to be in your arms and I want to hold you and ball my fists up in your shirt and cry and cry and cry and cry until things are better i just want to go back and be okay and maybe things would be better maybe if i didn't tell you how sad i was then you would be here and not gone and I am so worthless i don't want anythign i dont want this i want you
so pathetic
you cheated on me
and i still want you
you should be dead to me
you aren't who i loved
i don't want this
Im empty
im worthless
i am nothing
i am noone
i
gone please