Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[moonchild]

Constantly pulled between stress and indifference. :/

 

[GoBack]

Like someone's playing a really bad joke on me

 

[Philosykos]

Calm. The scent of petrichor has that effect on me. It's not raining yet but I can smell it hanging in the air already. Warm, sunny days make me restless and it's been that way for weeks here. But the summer showers afterwards almost make those days worth it. I love everything about rain.

 

[WOODESITY]

I'm thinking about my little cousin right now and my sister, way child is being treated and how I've little to no power to make changes, encourage my sister to take care of him better and Don't abuse, i feel lots of anger same time, my mind is total chaos and I've little control, I fucking hate this life

 

[Living sucks]

Trapped like a caged animal, physically and mentally. No choices left.

 

[Mindisbrokennekorbsi]

Sick and weak.
I wish I knew ODing had a single digit success rate

 

[nerve]

Frustrated, tired, buried :(

All this fighting just to be an ill, traumatized person operating in a world that doesn't need nor want me.

 

[ImsooDone1N]

Confusion & an unsure/ anxious feeling

 

[TheSoulless]

Why do I have to be anxious all the time, every day, every fucking hour. Two nights in a row I've had really good dreams. Fantastic, even. They were pretty realistic too, but sadly never again achievable in real life. Basically those dreams are just what could have been.

 

[kinzokukae]

just wanna get up to attempt partial suspension again but it's so tiring, setting up just to try a dozen times and give up, retrying every few days when i have the chance. i just want to leave this world once and for all

 

[Élégie]

Tired, anxious, frustrated, trapped, disappointed, hopeless...
I want to wait for my parents to die before I ctb, but I don't know how much longer I can take it...

 

[Oblivion]

I feel stuck, fucked up and need to die somehow..

 

[Despondent]

Feeling anxed, on edge, and unhappy. I want to get away from everything and everyone.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Bored. The physical masks may be on but the emotional masks are off. And I find it predictable and boring.

 

[Lydia]

I feel like I'm making a big mistake by moving in with someone I have absolutely no feelings for and see no future with but feel like I have to move location and be with them because I have no choice and have done nothing with my life in the last year so I have to move forwards.

 

[Deleted member 18655]

Logical. Not emotional. I can only see a choice between A and B. A is not an option thanks to this Lockdown crap and B is death. There is no middle ground for me and I can't wait around to see if it's going to get better; I don't see it getting better and I don't think a will be a part of my life again. I'd rather die. And no one understands. "You're not alone" only proves that I am and that I need to stop trying to make people understand and/or hoping things will be the way they were. A was the centre of my life and the only thing I was living for, after having found it after years of waiting and searching. Now my life is empty and over.

 

[Krash1990]

I'm tired. I don't sleep more than 3 hours a day and then I wake up in an anxiety attack... EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT.

Im lost and confused without the love I had months ago.

Im distraught for the ones that might be hurt by my CTB.

I'm ready to go. There is nothing else left for me on this earth.

 

[WinterFaust]

Feeling the usual, feeling like a broken record, emphasis on broken. I just don't know how much more of the loneliness I can take. I used to at least have physical health but I ruined that too. Should I still try to recover? I'm so damn tired. I also don't sleep more than 3-4 hours. I'm alone all the time. I don't want to be like this. I want to get better but I'm too tired. I have no one. Feeling very whiny and pathetic

 

[deadgirlahsatan]

Sad and hopelessi have chronic pain and anxiety. It never ends.

 

[serah]

like a failure

 

[chicken_hole]

Just angry on how pathetic/privileged I am. I have a pt job, a house under my head, and I can afford food, yet I feel so empty inside. I have a bunch of stuff I could be doing but i just lie on my bed, wasting my life away. I just wish I was happy with who I am but everything flaw is just flowing through my head non-stop

Also angry at my parents for deciding to having two other parasites even though they were not on speaking terms and we really can't afford two other mouths to feed. Like why. Do you just not think? Do you like seeing your children cry because you act so fucking retarded?

I just wish I wasn't alive. Fuck

 

[a.n.kirillov]

A slight headache coming on

 

[Cosmiq]

My chest feels heavy. There cool air moving through my chest causing a fluttery feeling, but this mostly leaves me with overall discomfort. I feel like if I breathe too deeply I'll vomit. I know my stomach is empty but the feeling in my chest drowns out my hunger. I feel week, and my body is starting to ache like I've been doing physical work all day, but I've done very little. My eyes burn like I just woke up from 2 hours of sleep after staying awake for 48 hours. My shoulders are starting to feel heavy and I'm resisting the urge to crawl into a ball and hug myself. I feel anxious and exhausted, like I just need a good night's rest and wake up refreshed but I know that won't happen even if I sleep for 10 hours. I'm eager to try my anti-anxiety medication but also fearful of becoming more dependent on it and starting a cycle that would be difficult to stop.

 

[Deleted member 18655]

Like people instinctively know to hurt me. Like people know I'm meant to be hurt and that it's "okay" to hurt me - there are no consequences except for my feelings and they don't matter. My trying to defend myself or ask for what I need only justifies me getting hurt.

I thought all of this was in the past. I thought I had turned a corner. SPLAT!

 

[AnxietyAttack44]

Feeling better then month ago. Equaly suicida pill, but less anxiety attacks per hour. I also started crying, after a long time of no tears. Feeling more empty and alone then ever, even abandoned you could say, but thats just feeling. Im grateful thst i atleast have this website to share some of my time with as theres no other support. But i still want to die, im just ok with waiting a bit as well. Thank you

 

[greekyfish10]

i don't know i'm just struggling right now and i don't even really know why just life is really hard and i want to ctb but i'm too much of a coward and i hate who i am i don't want to be here anymore.

 

[Seaghost]

Don't know. Want to feel endorphine

 

[Shinkansen]

I feel like a goldfish in a glass bowl, which swims and gasps in a transparent prison awaiting death.

 

[Sinai Silence]

Pain, lots and lots of pain.

 

[Deleted member 18655]

Physical pain! argh...