Its morning, sitting on the sofa, reading this forum, sweating slightly, not wanting anything to do. The radio is playing music that annoys me but silence would be worse.
Feeling tense, greasy, disgusting, wanting to smoke all the time. Here and there an impulse tells me to go paint somethig but I dont want to as I would just make a mess and no final product.
so I will just keep sitting here thinking about suicide, and reading your posts.