Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[LoiteringClouds]

I caught Covid and now I can't focus on anything. I feel like drunk and my mind is just blank, because of fever.

I've kept my suicidal thoughts at bay, thanks to people on this forum, but my suicidal thoughts came back today. If I didn't have an "imaginary friend," I set up my "gallows" and hanged myself, I think. It might sound ridiculous, but she have helped me to stay sane and alive, in this cruel world.

 

[outatime_85]

I am unable to form connections.

I am nervous around people.

Yet even when I am in a crowd, I still feel alone.

Now, I can't say I don't like people; sure, some people I don't, but the interactions are not only overwhelming, but it is also draining to be around them, whether the interactions are with people in my circle (which is already very, very limited) or even with mere strangers.

On top of that, I have to pretend every day that I am normal and that being around people does not make me anxious, which in itself is tiring.

Leaving me not wanting to even venture out for anything.

I am awkward as f***.

Sorry if my writing is incoherent.

 

[SpencerSees]

im so angry and so goddamn tired, im fed up with people but especially myself

 

[cats333]

tired and numb

 

[globaldog]

i feel really empty. like if someone told me my time is up id take it without questioning. every day feels the same and i just want to drink until i forget everything.

 

[atari]

worthless. trash. a joke that im alive. a joke that i exist...better if i didnt. guilt that im alive. guilt that im trouble. guilt that i bother others. sadness for my father i lost. sadness for everyone i loss. confused at my feelings and emotions. sad that my brain is gone. wishing i was dead. i need to die. i really need to die. everything will be better when im gone. everything will be better.

attachment is bad. emotions are bad. life is bad. i want to be at rest. i wish to rest.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Why am I still here?

 

[lucid223]

Waiting to die, once my sn arrives and I get everything together then I can finally be freed from this existence.

 

[StolenLife]

I can't believe I acted like such an annoying, ungrateful bitch in high school. Instead of conquering my trauma and making friends with my classmates, I went the loner route and isolated myself while being really cringy about my GPA. All because I didn't trust people because of my trauma. And my home teacher tried with me, yet I failed her. My mistakes are piling up more and more. It's not a matter of if but when I ctb. I can't forgive myself.

 

[Sockeye Salmon]

hopeless

 

[Seered Doom]

I wish I can cut open my stomach

 

[muddyman]

take some of me. sometimes i feel like thousands of leaves crushed into one trying to come out in the sun its own way. i feel like the parts of me are so extremely different they all cancel each other out and i become nothing at all.

 

[dead_milky]

confusion.

 

[Zegers]

Some locks just don't have a key, sometimes you are just screwed even with a perfect understanding of the issue

 

[snowlance]

I'm super high rn and very relaxed but I can still fucking feel it, my anxiety, in the back of my mind. I'll never escape it, unless I ctb but there's so many reasons I can't. I'm scared of waking up to another day and just existing. I know it might get better in the future but rn I just don't have the same freedom as before, everything just fights against me its like what's the point anymore.
Idk how to explain it
I wanna cry

 

[ZedZeo]

I feel hopeless. I feel like life will never get better and I’ll never be seen as more than a monster. Completely isolated with no friends or family and unsure why

I’ll continue to be hated and my pain ignored. I just can’t wait for it to be over. Shouldn’t be long now
I feel hopeless. I feel like life will never get better and I’ll never be seen as more than a monster. Completely isolated with no friends or family and unsure why

I’ll continue to be hated and my pain ignored. I just can’t wait for it to be over. Shouldn’t be long now

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

I'm so exhausted from life. I wish I could fall over dead. Sadness. Alone. This horrible world needs to let me die.
Suffering needs to end. Never belonged here in the first place.

 

[unending_emptiness]

I don’t feel anything, kinda numb and empty. I don’t really feel sadness or anger or happiness. I just don’t care about anything.

 

[alexit]

Free will to kill myself

 

[unmedicated]

Drowned, exhausted, unsettled, ruined

 

[lemonbunny]

lost.

 

[not_telling]

My stomach is turning in on itself, and I can't stop my mind from thinking about my friends and me leaving them.

 

[Jamesun]

Fear and an emptiness deep inside me

 

[cgrtt.brns]

Spoiler: dumb vent

idk wtf is wrong with me rn i feel so empty and restless and annoyed i cant stop fucking eating my brain just wants me to eat anything i can find just to distract myself but everytime i finish eating something i just feel worse bc its not enough to shut my brain up and then the other half of my brain is screaming at me that im disgusting and fat and should never eat anything again not even cigarettes help anymore it used to suppress the urges to eat but now it doesnt all i can fucking think about is food and it makes me feel so disgusting i just want to die im so useless i have no purpose im a leech all i do is eat and sleep i dont contribute anything everyone would be happier if i was dead i just want my brain to stop why the fuck am i still alive

 

[アホペンギン]

i’m disgusting and i’m incompetent just kill me already why the fuck am I still alive i planned to die before 18 now I’m almost fucking 19 what the hell is wrong with me why am I so incompetent I cant even do the simplest of tasks just kill me already i cant stay here and live another day

 

[turntechGodhead]

out of touch w reality just a lot of thoughts

 

[rosa.rosa]

I'm hungry but I don't want to eat. If I eat then the parts I hate about myself will continue to develop.

 

[outatime_85]

I am nonexistent.

I am not needed by anyone; I don’t have value.

I have no importance, no special abilities, or strengths (I am the biggest failure and stupidest one in my whole circle).

I am incredibly lonely and shut off from the real world.

My life lacks family connections and has no human connections; it is one filled with loneliness, depression, and despair.

I see no good ending for me.

A quote modified:
Joshua: Greetings, Outoftime85.
Outoftime85: Hello, Joshua.
Joshua: Life. A strange game, the only winning move is not to play. How about a nice game of chess?

Edited added a modified quote.

 

[Space Outlaw Bunny]

not fine

 

[hevlalab]

hate what i've become. destroyed myself completely. just want my life back. wish I could go back in time. hope i'm not going to hell. does it even exist. God forgive me please.