Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[not-2-b-the-answer]

I'm so done. Things just keep getting worse. I fail at life. Depression. Exhaustion. If you can't make it on your own, you are a loser. There is no future.... Only one with pain. I shouldn't have to be here. Why can't I just end it?
Numb right now. Ima bout ready to snap.

 

[sserafim]

I'm tired. I'm always tired. I'm just so fatigued and done with life. I'm in a chronic state of exhaustion. I want to fall asleep and never wake up. I feel empty as well

I'm so done. Things just keep getting worse. I fail at life. Depression. Exhaustion. If you can't make it on your own, you are a loser. There is no future.... Only one with pain. I shouldn't have to be here. Why can't I just end it?
Numb right now. Ima bout ready to snap.

Same, my thoughts exactly

 

[Lullaby]

It sucks so bad when you expect the worst from people, and they end up proving you right. Every single time.

Even worse when they spend so much time trying to get you to lower your walls, only to shove a knife through your back. I really envy people who are lucky enough to have and experience healthy friendships and relationships.

I feel so stupid.

 

[outatime_85]

I don't deserve to experience the basic human experience.

I do not deserve to have anyone need me or care about me.

I do not deserve respect or love.

I deserve to stare at the ground or straight ahead, like I am a machine.

I am not a human.

I am subhuman.

I am a worthless thing, and I deserve everything that has happened to me.

I deserve to be unwanted, unneeded, lonely, depressed, and empty.

I deserve the despair.

I deserve to be called useless and worthless.

My creation was a terrible mistake.

It is alright to hate myself and not love myself.

Sorry for the long, incoherent post.

 

[SolaceNight]

Oh, im feeling dead. No goals, numb head. I am feeling live a TV who lost its signal. just shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh inside

 

[CoffeeCrow]

Take medication tonight. Work in the morning. Don't forget the nicotine. Do enough research for that corpo-rat project. Don't forget the overarching plan, don't be afraid and do it by December, because it will get worse again.

 

[DangerLime]

Snacky and tired

 

[sserafim]

Nothing. I don't feel anything

 

[Tesha]

Arrrrrrggggghhhhhh. Absolute fucking fucks.

 

[anxious_depressive]

I feel useless and stupid.
I'm a complete failure at everything.
A mistake of nature.
I feel that my body is dead, but my mind is still alive.

To feel that my body is still alive, I hurt myself physically.
I hate my face, my body, my voice.

 

[peaches]

Rage and exhaustion.
I feel like I'm bleeding to death. Like every slight, every rejection, every misinterpretation, every nuance towards me slashed me and I never was capable of staunching the blood.

 

[N33dT0D13]

I ruin absolutely fucking everything. I wish someone would beat me to death. I hate inviting people into my life only to end up letting them down. I hate being like this.

 

[RealEepyHours]

Very empty and meaningless.

 

[S like Siren]

Right now I'm feeling extremely bad...really extremely bad. I'm having constant crying fits and difficulty in breathing. I feel very tired but not only physically and mentally but really tired in my soul, tired to the core. I can't feel an emotion... I can't smile anymore, I feel really bad.
I'm trying to find the strength to wash my face and hair,i am so dirty. to keep myself up from bed so that in the next few days I can go outside and look for a building to enter in and commit suicide, anything is ok for me as long as I can die... I feel so dead.
I would like to try partial hanging again but I know it will be difficult for me since i failed various times. I hope to go out in the next few days and find the right building... I feel all the life force that has abandoned me, I feel so down and sad... so dead.
I am desperate,i want just let myself go...i am living in hell.

 

[outatime_85]

My circle has kicked me out of the pack, basically rejecting me and relegating me to the status of a lone wolf.

In the beginning, I wore it as a badge of honor—the one who can take on life and the world alone—but I sit here today, broken, useless, and worthless, and I have come to understand that the moniker is not and was not what it was cracked up to be.

That said, unfortunately, it is very difficult to join a different pack when one's own pack rejects it.

Other packs (people, the world, etc.) wonder why that wolf was rejected.

There must be something wrong with it.

Thus the lone wolf dies and the pack survives, which I think is a damn true statement (no one does it alone to think otherwise is a fallacy).

Yet my circle expected me to do just that.

I think being needed is a necessity.

Sure, focusing on oneself is great, but if all that corrective action still leaves one a lone wolf, then all that work was for naught and the outcome will be the same.

While this is what my life has become, I also understand that ending up sideways is all my fault, and my inability to correct it is also all my fault.

So, since I do not know how to ask for or accept help (I was never taught how), can't seem to fix what I have broken, and do not want to be a drain on other people's time, energy, and finances, as I am no one's responsibility and I do not add or bring any value to anyone's life, the responsible thing for me to do is to eventually checkout.

Sorry for the long, rambling, and incoherent post.

 

[strawb12]

I feel a little sad that I didn't accomplish so much. I didn't lead a sad boring life but every time I make plans for the future I feel so weird. I know I won't actually carry through with any of them. I still am going to ctb I don't care about those plans enough to keep me here. Also I'll definitely miss some people. I have a bf right now, I know this is going to hurt him & I hate myself more than words can describe for deciding to go through with it anyway but I just can't be here any longer. I know my best friend will also be ctbing soon after I do but I still feel bad for them, they've had so many of their friends ctb & I'm going to be another one. But hey, at the end of the day this life is meaningless to me. Why should I care about any of the things I mentioned? I'll be dead soon anyways & I don't care about what happens after that so I really shouldn't be stressing about any of this huh.

 

[アホペンギン]

dont leave

 

[the_last_race]

Fuck all. Fuck all. Fuck all. Fuck all. Fuck all. Fuck all. Ad naseum...

 

[CTB Dream]

Awfl life awfl species no want see any,

 

[Zegers]

It's all so absurd, it doesn't matter whether you go out or stay at home.

 

[S like Siren]

I just cried out all my tears few minutes ago because i felt so scared and i had to hug myself in the dark to calm myself down because i was shacking too much.
I wish i could have some reassurance by someone but this ain't gonna happen,i usually sing nursery's songs to distract myself until i finish all my tears...i am going insane with being all by myself all the time,I don't feel safe anymore neither at home.I want go home,to my real home after dying.

 

[Salvation_]

I don't know how such a small mistake leaves me feeling like I should die and cut off everything and curl up in a ball and cry in the corner (that's social anxiety baby)

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

I'm not well. Spent most of the day sleeping, waking every so often. Depression, need sleep.
I need to end this.
Decades of misery. Something will eventually break. Wish I had died in the womb. Or at least as a teen.
Life did not get better for me. With the exception of a few years. That is gone and is never coming back.
Tired of the prolifers lies that "it gets better". They better hope this shit never happens to them.
Then they can see what it's really like.
I can't imagine being on this shitty planet until I'm 90+ What hellish god would do this to something he created and
"Loves soooo much" ?
I have had enough!!!! Get me out of here!!!!
No one should be forced to be here if they choose not to.
Feel like a hypocrite for wanting others on here not to CTB when I want to so bad.

Life = Shit !!!

 

[S like Siren]

They better hope this shit never happens to them.
Then they can see what it's really like.

This is so true.i agree with you!

 

[Sannti]

I'm done, 0 will to live, I wish to just go sleep right now and never again wake up :(

 

[Sockeye Salmon]

i miss her
i need her

but i know i can never see her anymore

now i just wanna die

 

[apearl]

I miss my dog.

 

[リンさん]

A desire to sleep already. Waiting for caffeine to kick in and make me tired.

 

[Zegers]

I feel like my skin is melting, it's a strange sensation.

will to live maybe 0.1% and i would say it is SI

 

[passivethought121]

Empty and clear