wanna leave in the next 30 minutes

[CoalmineCanary]

Good morning Phil122

 

[victoria91]

Good morning Phil , I hope you have rested ok. We are here to talk if you want

 

[esse_est_percipi]

Hi Phil, how are you now?

 

[sadworld]

Hey Phil, I hope you feel a bit better today... I guess it was a rough night. Sending hugs and all the best wishes

 

[Sleepysam25]

but im fucking terrified. iprocrastinated as far as i could. everything is ready. im pretty drunk already. need to leave NOW. but its so scary. someone promise me it will be okay. it would really help. cant wait till tomorrow. thanx in advance.

Man hanging is scary af no matter how drunk you are. I've had a rope around my neck more times than I'd care to recall but always pussied out. Are you 100% sure this is the way to go?

 

[ecmnesia]

I'm glad you are still here with us Phil, hope you are feeling a little bit better

 

[Deleted member 23586]

Hai babes! How are you feeling today? I know last night was rough af and I just wanted to check in on you. Hope this day isn't as hard as the last. *hugs and plushies*

 

[Brackenshire]

Morning @Phil122
I hope some sleep was good for you.
You are not along..you have a lot of love and hands holding you up during this bad time.

 

[Ghost2211]

Op hasn't been on since 11 hours ago. Keeping you in my thoughts Phil.

 

[Weary Soul]

 

[Ramirez]

Im okay. sorry guys. i was very drunk when i attempted. i thought it would make it easier but it made it harder. i wanna try again though in some hours cuz this life is over. thank you guys so much for talking to me yesterday and everything. Im really glad i wasnt alone.

 

[x~Sophia~x]

Whatever you decide, we're here for you Phil.
Sending hugs and wishing you peace.

 

[Nullm]

I stood with my noose around my neck hesitating night after night for about a weak
Repetition works
I finally jumped and was only spared by a few milimeters the tip of my toes touched the floor which i have not foreseen
I've put a towel between the rope and the neck which is a bit soothing
I'm very sorry you are in this situation
I think you cried because you are sane and the realization that survival insticnt is a sacred feeling that you need to defile for your own selfish desire to escape reality
I think so because you cried after the fact but if you were crying before when there was still a time to think it through then you probably have the inner resources to live
I know when i cried after i spilled my nembutal in the sink and on my way home i was reminded of my emotional starvation there was no doubt of what would happen eventually
You are not fucked at all and certainly not a coward and judging from our experiences i believe that others who have already commited suicide didn't do it immediately either
If you feel It's over i wish you safe and easy travels to the other side

 

[omoidarui]

i really dont wanna be stuck here for another 60 years.

join the club :/

 

[x~Sophia~x]

@Phil122
Hi, just wondering how you are now, just thinking of you

Last seen 6.01pm.
I hope you're now at peace...

 

[x~Sophia~x]

@Phil122 was that you online just a minute ago?

What's happening? Are you ok?

 

[Ramirez]

I didnt really wanna plan on making a goodbyethread or anything. but some ppl seem interested what is going on so imma update you. the problem is the bar is not high enough so i can reach the floor with my toes and take the pressure off. i did kick the thing i was standing on yesterday but i couldnt stop myself from taking off the pressure cuz i was so terrified. I didnt attempt tonight cuz i felt really bad from all the drinking and i was just on the toilet the whole day so imma chill tonight and try to eat sth later. im outta food tomorrow though so if i cant make it work tomorrow ive to go to a hospital or sth cuz i only have my mom in this city and she has been very abusive this year to me so i really dont want to see her..

@Phil122
Hi, just wondering how you are now, just thinking of you

Last seen 6.01pm.
I hope you're now at peace...

thank you im okayish

 

[x~Sophia~x]

I didnt really wanna plan on making a goodbyethread or anything. but some ppl seem interested what is going on so imma update you. the problem is the bar is not high enough so i can reach the floor with my toes and take the pressure off. i did kick the thing i was standing on yesterday but i couldnt stop myself from taking off the pressure cuz i was so terrified. I didnt attempt tonight cuz i felt really bad from all the drinking and i was just on the toilet the whole day so imma chill tonight and try to eat sth later. im outta food tomorrow though so if i cant make it work tomorrow ive to go to a hospital or sth cuz i only have my mom in this city and she has been very abusive this year to me so i really dont want to see her..

thank you im okayish

Phil, there may be people here who live in Germany who could help you. Please check in with us tomorrow and let us know what you need. Sending my best wishes to you x

 

[Ramirez]

Phil, there may be people here who live in Germany who could help you. Please check in with us tomorrow and let us know what you need. Sending my best wishes to you x

I will check in tomorrow. i mean its not that i wanna die because im outta money. its that i told them not to pay me so i would be easier to get out. atleast so i hoped. but its working somewhat at least i tried by now. otherwise i would never do it and my life is just not worth it anymore and hasnt been for a long time.

 

[x~Sophia~x]

I will check in tomorrow. i mean its not that i wanna die because im outta money. its that i told them not to pay me so i would be easier to get out. atleast so i hoped. but its working somewhat at least i tried by now. otherwise i would never do it and my life is just not worth it anymore and hasnt been for a long time.

I understand. I didn't for one minute think it was about money... it runs so much deeper, I know that.

 

[Ramirez]

Man hanging is scary af no matter how drunk you are. I've had a rope around my neck more times than I'd care to recall but always pussied out. Are you 100% sure this is the way to go?

I find hanging on of the best methods. I passed out from it before but didnt secure the rope well enough so i came back around. i enjoy the feeling actually when i get all drowsy. The being dead part is what freaks me out.

 

[Ramirez]

i wanna try again soon. practiced partial all day. it seemed okay working. just trying to find the courage right now.
almost. it doenst seem so bad once i get drowsy. just walking up there is terrible. i was actually hoping to talk to someone before i go. imma wait a little and have a few drinks and try for real. hopefully.

 

[Ghost2211]

I'm here if you need anything Phil. I hope you're doing all right.

 

[Ramirez]

i think i was really happy there for a minute from the hypoxia. im already drunk cuz i didnt eat all day. actually i dont want to die. i just want my family back. but i cant have that. and all alone theres no sense.

I'm here if you need anything Phil. I hope you're doing all right.

thank you! im okay. i hope. watch me wake up in hell or sth :D.
will it be loud? its late. will the neighbours hear me?

 

[Ghost2211]

i think i was really happy there for a minute from the hypoxia. im already drunk cuz i didnt eat all day. actually i dont want to die. i just want my family back. but i cant have that. and all alone theres no sense.

thank you! im okay. i hope. watch me wake up in hell or sth :D.
will it be loud? its late. will the neighbours hear me?

No it won't be loud. i'm sorry you lost your family that's honestly my breaking point as well. If you don't want to die are you certain there's no way around this? You do seem a bit better today, and yeah hypoxia feels good lol

 

[Ramirez]

No it won't be loud. i'm sorry you lost your family that's honestly my breaking point as well. If you don't want to die are you certain there's no way around this? You do seem a bit better today, and yeah hypoxia feels good lol

no its not coming back. i gave it over a year. they proof that they think very little of me. and i cant get over it. you are a very sweet person rosey! next life we going to the pub and drinks are on me. if i can do it tonight that is.

 

[Ghost2211]

no its not coming back. i gave it over a year. they proof that they think very little of me. and i cant get over it. you are a very sweet person rosey! next life we going to the pub and drinks are on me. if i can do it tonight that is.

You're on buddy. I don't think I can handle more than one drink at my body weight lol, but we can chill and have some snacks!

 

[Ramirez]

i still have some time. what happend to yours if you dont mind me asking. sorry i havent been super much on this forum lately.

 

[Spitfire]

i think i was really happy there for a minute from the hypoxia. im already drunk cuz i didnt eat all day. actually i dont want to die.

Hold on for a second. You do not actually want to die?

You will die eventually, but.. you said it that you do not want to die. Is this why it fails you ya think?

 

[Ghost2211]

i still have some time. what happend to yours if you dont mind me asking. sorry i havent been super much on this forum lately.

He cheated and left, and now he's trying to take the kids. I'm holding out to see if I keep my kids and have a place to live otherwise I'll be following in your footsteps.