Venting Today would've been our anniversary

[fluorescentpearl]

We were going to meet up in the city and spend time together at a hotel, eat out together, kiss, cuddle.. Instead I'm alone and slowly wilting away, unable to eat or drink, or enjoy anything.. I wish I could end it all, I don't want to spend today alone..
I was hoping I'd be gone by today, so that I didn't have to live through today, and yet I'm alive, and feeling worse than I've felt in days.. I feel so worthless I don't know what to do..
A music artist we both loved and listened to posted a love song today, had we still been together it would've been a cute sign, smt I'd show him with a huge smile saying it can be another one of Our songs..

 

[fluorescentpearl]

I feel worse, as the day continues I feel worse and worse, I wish I died yesterday, the feeling of empty dread after a failed attempt is horrible, I'm a corpse walking

 

[CrawlingInMySkin]

I know, mate. I hate being alone too. It'll pass, though. Maybe he's being held up by something, or running late... You could try texting him, calling him. Just talking or some information is always good. Love and peace, my friend. I'm sure you won't be alone much longer

 

[Apology]

It really really is awful thinking about everything you can't do now with your special person

 

[fluorescentpearl]

I know, mate. I hate being alone too. It'll pass, though. Maybe he's being held up by something, or running late... You could try texting him, calling him. Just talking or some information is always good. Love and peace, my friend. I'm sure you won't be alone much longer

He left me so he won't be coming haha, seeing this made me burst crying, I wish I could, I rly wish I could call him

 

[CrawlingInMySkin]

He left me so he won't be coming haha, seeing this made me burst crying, I wish I could, I rly wish I could call him

Oh, I'm sorry, mate. I didn't know... That hurts, my friend. If you want to talk about it here, I'm open for a while.

 

[fluorescentpearl]

Oh, I'm sorry, mate. I didn't know... That hurts, my friend. If you want to talk about it here, I'm open for a while.

It's okay I'm going to ctb once my SN arrives anyway, hopefully

 

[CrawlingInMySkin]

It's okay I'm going to ctb once my SN arrives anyway, hopefully

Best of luck with it, mate. I'll still talk with you if you don't want to be alone, I know I wouldn't want to be when I ctb. Up to you, my friend

 

[fluorescentpearl]

Best of luck with it, mate. I'll still talk with you if you don't want to be alone, I know I wouldn't want to be when I ctb. Up to you, my friend

I'll let uu know when it arrives, probably won't be anytime very soon sadly, I wish I had a way out sooner but I've heard from everyone SN is the best way

 

[Daniel8899]

I'll let uu know when it arrives, probably won't be anytime very soon sadly, I wish I had a way out sooner but I've heard from everyone SN is the best way

The most clean one anyhow. Hope i get some aswell asap

 

[fluorescentpearl]

The most clean one anyhow. Hope i get some aswell asap

I saw a story of a guy that failed it even when taking 33 grams, but he did mess up the amount of water as well, it makes me nervous to think I could fail it

 

[Daniel8899]

I saw a story of a guy that failed it even when taking 33 grams, but he did mess up the amount of water as well, it makes me nervous to think I could fail it

Read as much as you can. There is alot of good information in this forum

 

[fluorescentpearl]

I miss him so badly that I feel sick, I don't understand, I wish he came back, I just want to be in his arms again and feel safe again, I miss him, I miss and love him, life feels so empty without him in it it's like nothing has color or life, everything is bleak and ruined
I hope my SN will arrive soon, as soon as possible.. I don't know how much longer I can take this pain and uncertainty
No idea if I'll be able to wait for the SN to arrive, I'm hoping I'm strong enough to but I keep wishing I could end it all sooner, sigh