Venting The age when you first seriously consider CTB.

[DeIetedUser4739]

16

 

[Artemisia]

Tbh, I've considered death as a friend from almost since I can remember, that friend I could turn to if things got too bad. But the thing was, I didn't really want to die, I wanted to live without the problems that plagued me. Being independent and capable of taking care of myself was always the most important thing to me and I always knew I'd want to end my life when I was no longer capable of such. I just never expected it to be so soon. Now I'm 49 and in constant, debilitating pain. I had already planned to ctb around these days, I'll give it some more time but hope is almost lost. I still don't really want to die, but what I have is no longer living.

 

[Unknown21]

My passive suicidal thoughts started at the age of 8, and my active suicidal thoughts started at 20

 

[LunarLight]

10.

 

[lost_ange1]

I think it was around 16, I had a suicide note ready but never actually did it.

Well and with 22 I failed ctb.

 

[abyss@fmPf1KVp6]

From around 14 to now with 21

 

[deletedaccount30982]

10 or 11.

 

[Nettles]

I don't remember exactly, maybe between 18-20. Now 47. If I had left at that time, I wouldn't have had to suffer another 27 years of this BS existence. 27 years of shitty and useless time.

How old were you when you first really wanted CTB?

Oh same here, I was at that age, in my late teens, and now I'm 53 y o. I've been so mad at myself to why I didn't end this shitty existence then..but, now I'm almost done here on earth. So tired.

I don't remember exactly, maybe between 18-20. Now 47. If I had left at that time, I wouldn't have had to suffer another 27 years of this BS existence. 27 years of shitty and useless time.

How old were you when you first really wanted CTB?

Have you found a preferred way to ctb?

 

[Vicolo cieco]

At 12/13 years old, when I started to realise that I was not like "normal" people.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

this thread shows a lot of people have been thinking seriously about suicide for many years. me too. i ned to get moving on it . i haven't made any progress toward my suicide.

it's that time passes so fast . a human is just a dumb fish brain. i say i'm going to do "this" , ok suicide yeah , i really mean it . i look down , go down a youtube rabbit hole, look up and 10 years pass by and i haven't made any progress , not an iota on defeating si even deciding on a single method nothing on top of that i have adhd. . so it's the equivalent of 10 days not 10 years seems more like 10 days. i can't let another 10 years go by like that i need to kill these monstrous cells they call a human body i'm inprisoned in. add to that no one not the "schools" media nothing taught any of us how to get things done . so i need to somehow get myself to kill myself asap . now way i want to make it to 2025, enough. There's only 6 months left but that's nothing compared to the 15 years of seriously i want to kill myself.

 

[theboy]

16

 

[crystal_meth97]

It was 12. I'm 29 now. No longer want to CTB, though.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

I was 12 the first time I really ever considered it. I would've been so much better off if my life had not continued from that point. Now at 25 I have spent the last two years no longer contemplating but knowing I have to ctb as my issues are permanent.

 

[frog_prince]

at 21 and now im 42

 

[heroinhero]

I don't remember exactly, maybe between 18-20. Now 47. If I had left at that time, I wouldn't have had to suffer another 27 years of this BS existence. 27 years of shitty and useless time.

How old were you when you first really wanted CTB?

9

 

[viljalauss]

12 onwards; not sure i had a concrete method till 14 though

 

[ikigaimg]

10 or 11.

 

[TheLastBoyOnEarth]

I was 16. My OCD was getting really bad. But it passed. I had suicidal phases throughout the years but the only time I attempted was when I was 21.

 

[daee]

18

 

[chronicdissosiation]

began considering it at 12

 

[bed]

i was 17

 

[sexual-sinning]

19, I'm 22 now and life has only gotten shittier

 

[bunnydetriment]

Seriously considering, probably 17 or 18. Am 21 now

 

[SassyGirl52]

16

 

[bunnyhugs]

First 15, then 22. Now late 20s.

 

[Into-the-abyss]

My first attempt didn't happen until I was 19, and it was an epic failure! Fast forward almost five years later, and here I am. Whoop whoop, disappointment

 

[LostinTime24]

16 or 17 now 24

 

[itsneverbeenmoreove]

I first thought about it when I was like 8. But I didn't really think of it seriously until I was more like 12 or 13

 

[Sunset Limited]

Oh same here, I was at that age, in my late teens, and now I'm 53 y o. I've been so mad at myself to why I didn't end this shitty existence then..but, now I'm almost done here on earth. So tired.

Have you found a preferred way to ctb?

You have 6 more years. I am 47. I can't imagine live 6 more years.

Yes I will go with propofol but still here bc my mom is still alive. I am prisoner.

 

[deletednumber]

Seriously taking action on attempting ctb was at 25...before that I had these bad attacks,or as I call them depressive crisis where I wanted to hurt me to the point of kill myself.